Dominik Delay

On Friday, the Detroit Red Wings retained goalie Dominik Hasek. Hasek signed a 1-year, $2 million contract. Hasek is a reliable veteran. With that stated, he epitomizes Detroit’s flaw. They do not seek solutions. Instead, they procrastinate.

NEW RULE

Suspensions must punish.

Allegedly, suspended crew chief Tony Eury attended the Lennox Tools 300. From a trailer, he provided advice. Upon hearing this, NASCAR CEO Brian France pledged reform. On Thursday, he relented. Suspended crew chiefs may attend races. However, they should attend silently. Suspended MLB and NFL player’s presence is not banned. With that stated, they cannot contribute. Crew chiefs should not contribute. Discipline must penalize. Otherwise, what is the point?

Switching is Worse?

Last Valentine’s Day; UCLA student Shira Barlow lost her cellular phone. Upon replacing said phone, she received a recycled number. She received Paris Hilton’s previous digits. Subsequently, Barlow has been deluged with birthday wishes, nightclub requests, and party invitations. Yet, Barlow will not switch. Her reasoning? Switching is a hassle.

The Daily Smak

On Thursday, liberals touted another defection. Senator Pete Domenici (R-NM) announced surge opposition. He does not desire withdraw. He does not want funding extinguished. How was this news?

After pledging reform, NASCAR (which stands for Never Associate Serious Consequences with Auto Racing) Brian France relented. Suspended crew chiefs may silently attend races. Brian, the aforesaid is not a suspension. The aforesaid is a vacation.

Live Earth’s concept is brilliant. Performers utilizing private jets, raise global warming awareness via energy evaporating concerts. Vice President Bore is a genius.

Worth A Read

Craig Hickman’s Tennis Blog

A tennis fan’s irreverent musings. Excellent photo utilization.

Big Bats Afternoon

Minnesota Twins: 20 runs, 21 hits
Chicago White Sox: 14 runs, 18 hits

Yahoo’s Top Ten Summer Date Suggestions

1. Mini-Golf: Challenge her to a game of mini-golf where the winner buys the drinks afterwards.

2. Plan a picnic in the park: Grab a blanket, some wine, some fun little tasting foods, and head to the park.

3. Go to the park during the day, bring a frisbee and test her frisbee skills: This is not only fun, but it gives you something to tease each other about in the future.

4. Drive-In Movie: Most people have never been to a drive-in movie. Most cities either have a drive-in movie theater still operating, or they have a park that actually will play movies on a Thursday night under the stars. This is different, fun, and something they may have never done before.

5. Go to a concert in the park: Once again, this takes a little bit of research. Grab your local paper and see who's playing in the park that evening.

6. Go to a country fair: Nothing is more fun than trying to win her a thirty cent stuffed animal for thirty dollars in quarters! Take turns at the milk bottles. Take turns trying to win a goldfish. Participate in all that the fair has to offer.

7. Go to a rodeo: Most people have never been to a rodeo. But, depending on where you live in the country, in the summer there are often a number of rodeos in town. This will not only be fun, but totally different . . . And once you see the mutton riders (which by the way are little kids who ride sheep), the two of you will definitely laugh! The rodeo always has something funny to talk about.

8. Go for a drive: Take a drive on a Sunday afternoon, check out some of the towns around you, and go exploring together. Not only is this fun, but it gives you lots of things to talk about while you're doing it.

9. Go for a sunset walk: Take advantage of the long days and enjoy a sunset walk. Pick a place in your city with a great view of the sunset and

10. Go to a street fair: Most towns and cities have street fairs with vendors and food. Take the time and walk through the street fair. Try on the funny hat, eat some food on the stick, and have a good time just walking through and commenting on all the interesting things you see together.

NEW RULE

Editing dulls reality.

A&E is televising the Sopranos. TBS is televising Sex and the City. I comprehend why. Both programs were insanely popular. They possess an inherent fan base. With that stated, A&E and TBS should stop. Both programs featured realistic dialogue. Said dialogue included cursing and sexual innuendo. Obviously, these been expunged. These cable versions are unwatchable. Fans should not view them. Instead, they should purchase the DVD.

Appraising the Draft

Evaluating the NBA Draft is difficult. Some teams lack selections. Some teams trade recklessly. Thus, discernable criteria is haphazard. With that stated, analysis is this blog. Below are four franchises who excelled.

Seattle Supersonics: Kevin Durant is a superstar. Immediately, he should matriculate amongst the NBA’s best scorers. Acquiring Jeff Green was also brilliant. Green should perfectly compliment Durant. He should provide a devastating interior presence.

Portland Trailblazers: Obviously, Greg Oden was an exemplary selection. With that stated, acquiring Steve Francis was genius. Despite his character, Francis is a dynamic scorer. The triad of Francis, Oden, and Brandon Roy should elevate Portland’s playoff potential.

Chicago Bulls: Joakim Noah was an enormous steal. Despite shooting concerns, Noah is a consistent inside presence. He is one of this draft’s best. Aaron Gray and Jameson Curry were also brilliant selections. Noah should start immediately. Gray should garner significant action. Both improve Chicago’s lackluster interior.

Phoenix Suns: Obviously, the Suns can score. With that stated, the Arlando Tucker and D.J. Strawberry selections were magnificent. Tucker must improve shooting. However, he should make an immediate impact. Additionally, Strawberry should prove an exemplary reserve. The Suns were loaded. Despite this, they improved.

The Daily Smak

Hey, did you used to work for John McCain?

The Portland Trailblazers have inked Greg Oden. Oden signed a 2 year, $8 million contract. 2 years and $8 million? What will Kevin Durant receive? Twenty-five dollars and a Gary Payton DVD?

Today’s top five or whose production Ayman Al-Zawahiri has exceeded (1) Britney Spears, (2) Lindsay Lohan, (3) Christina Aguilera, (4) Kellie Clarkson, and (5) Paris Hilton.

Poison Pardon

A permanent Republican majority. The aforesaid was both Lee Atwater and Karl Rove’s objective. Unfortunately, only one was revolutionary. Atwater understood expansion meant expanding the party. Rove is not that smart.

On Monday evening, President Bush commuted Scooter Libby’s sentence. Originally, Libby received thirty months incarceration, two years probation, and a $250,000 fine. President Bush vacated the imprisonment.

Libby should have served his sentence. He lied. He flouted the law. He did not warrant forgiveness. Regrettably, President Bush ignored procedure. Prior to a commutation, defendants commence incarceration. The pardon attorney is consulted. The aforesaid were disregarded. President Bush egregiously freed Libby. He did this via extraordinary means.

President Bush should not have acted. His decision was insular, repugnant, and stupid. A permanent Republican majority? For someone desiring this, Bush and Rove’s actions were fatal.

Prescribing Death

On Monday, Dr. Phil Astin (Chris Benoit’s physician) was charged with illegal drug distribution (seven counts). Allegedly, Benoit received ten months of steroids every three weeks. As previously stated, this is a bizarre tragedy. Every moment you believe is the bottom, is a trap door.

Benoit Death: Twists in Tragedy

This story was cable news’ dream. Every ingredient was present. Homicide, suicide, drug utilization, drug abuse, steroids, professional wrestling, domestic disturbance, domestic violence, sketchy characters, a shady organization, and shaky public relations. Continually, the story devolved. My friend described the phenomena perfectly. Every moment you believed was the bottom, was a trap door.

On June 23 and 24, Chris Benoit missed events. On June 25, Benoit, his wife and son were discovered dead. On Monday evening, Vince McMahon announced the tragedy. According to police, Benoit murdered his wife and son. He then committed suicide.

During his career, Benoit garnered twenty individual and five tag team championships. He captured the World Heavyweight Championship (WCW and WWE) twice. He also accrued four Intercontinental championships, three United States Heavyweight championships, and three World Television championships.

Drugs and wrestling are intertwined. Wrestlers consume pre-match stimulants, post-match depressants, workout supplements, and entertainment enhancements. A wrestler’s existence is intoxicated. Unsurprisingly, Benoit’s murder scene included steroids.

Obviously, the WWE is culpable. Their concerns are audience, pay per view purchases, and profits. Allegedly, the WWE has a drug testing policy. However, wrestlers are not rehabilitated or suspended. The WWE obfuscates and ignores. They continue booking. Continual wrestler’s absences would harm revenue.

Herein, McMahon is the villain. McMahon is antagonistic, bellicose, and combative. He has transgressed both decency and society. Following Owen Hart’s catastrophic death, a pay per view continued. Following September 11, a television event was not cancelled. McMahon is imaginative and ignorant. He cheers his entertainment. He ignores his devoured.

Since 1984, eighteen prominent wrestlers have died. Since 1997, sixty (younger than forty-five) have died. Dino Bravo (1993) was murdered. The Big Boss Man (2004) died of a heart attack. Bruiser Brody (1988) was stabbed. Eddie Guerrero (2005) suffered a heart attack. Miss Elizabeth (2003) overdosed. Brian Pillman (1997) abused prescription drugs. Rick Rude (1999) died of a heart attack. The British Bulldog (2002) suffered a heart attack. Yokozuna (2000) was also a heart attack. Additionally, three Von Erich brothers (David, Kerry, and Mike) prematurely succumbed.

Fourteen hours prior to discovery, Wikipedia noted Nancy Benoit’s death. The citation was a cruel hoax. Unfortunately, this bizarre tragedy was not.

Davis Death: An Opportunity For Discussion

The inconvenient conversations are uncomfortable. They are arduous and impolite. They probe complex subjects. They encompass unspeakable thoughts. The inconvenient conversations are unpleasant. They are painful. However, they are necessary. They are where alteration and comprehension occur.

On June 15, Jessie Marie Davis, a nine-months pregnant mother, was reported missing. On June 17, searches commenced. On June 18 and 20, police examined Bobby Cutts’ (Davis’ boyfriend, Canton police officer) home. On June 23, police discover Davis’ body. They also arrest Cutts.

Prior to serving, Cutts faced a restraining order. During his career, he furnished felons guns. Why was he a police officer? Obviously, Cutts was violent. He was aggressive and erratic. How was he hired? Affirmative action, understaffing, quotas? Presumably, Cutts was interviewed. His background was scanned. Yet, he was hired. He was publicly entrusted. He should not have been.

Police have one mission. They protect the public. They are underappreciated and understaffed. However, they must discriminate. Diversity is critical. With that stated, everyone does not merit hiring. Police would not consider pedophiles. They should not ponder race. They should only select qualified individuals.

Obviously, Davis was a sociopath. With three women, he fathered four children. He was not marriage material. He was not dating material. Yet, be bedded three beautiful women. They were not unique. Women love cads. They have throughout history. Occasionally, the relationships thrive. Unfortunately, the vast majority are toxic.

America loves trivia. Sadly, trivia obscures reality. Cutts is a monster. He warrants severe punishment. Blake (Davis and Cutts son) is beautiful. Davis is a sympathetic victim. The aforesaid are true and irrelevant. The relevant discussion has been stated. These topics are awkward. However, they affect society.

Iced Prizes

Daniel Briere (Center - Buffalo Sabres)
(Philadelphia Flyers: 8 years, $52 million)
(Briere is a superstar. He is Philadelphia’s finest since Eric Lindros. Immediately, he elevates their playoff potential. Extracting him from Buffalo was brilliant. The Sabres could not retain him. However, this divisional realignment is devastating.)

Chris Drury (Center - Buffalo Sabres)
(New York Rangers: 5 years, $35 million)
(Buffalo’s exodus continues. Drury has declined slightly. With that stated, he is a glitzy addition. He dramatically improves New York’s scoring. He will compliment Jaromir Jagr.)

Scott Gomez (Center – New Jersey Devils)
(New York Rangers: 7 years, $51.5 million)
(This maneuver was pivotal. Gomez is a dynamic scorer. He is aggressive. He possesses a New York personality. Assuming goaltending, the Rangers should garner the Eastern Conference. New Jersey should have resigned Gomez.)

Paul Kariya (Wing – Anaheim Ducks)
(St. Louis Blues: 3 years, $18 million)
(Kariya has aged. With that stated, he is a dynamic leader. He was Anaheim’s conscience. Regrettably, the Blues history is scattered. Star players have not succeeded. Assuming Kariya retains health, he should reverse this. He should dramatically improve St. Louis.)

Brian Rafalski (Defenseman – New Jersey Devils)
(Detroit Red Wings: 5 years, $30 million)
(Despite consecutive top seeds, the Red Wings have faltered. This offseason, both Kyle Calder and Mathieu Schneider have exited. Inking Rafalski was essential. He should slightly improve Detroit. With that stated, the Red Wings are declining. They have become stagnate. They must refocus.)

Ryan Smyth (Wing - New York Islanders)
(Colorado Avalanche: 5 years, $31 million)
(Smith has slightly declined. However, he should improve Colorado. Smyth is a scorer. He is capable of dominating. The Avalanche have lacked this. Given Smyth’s addition, they should contend.)

NEW RULE

Keith Olbermann requires refrigeration.

Watch and disagree. You cannot. Olbermann has detonated. His outrage has compromised him. Within Olbermann’s delirium, he hosts a news program. He is Edward Murrow. Yet every snide remark, special comment, and worst person in the world targets Fox News or Republicans. Simply stated, Olbermann is a televised Daily Kos. He is a screaming liberal. He deserves shelving. He warrants a cooler sentence.

McCain Melting

On Monday, John McCain fired between 50-100 staffers. During the second quarter, McCain accrued $11.2 million. Unfortunately, he has only $2 million available. McCain was the favorite. Sadly, circumstances and expectations have collapsed his campaign. I both respect and support McCain. I hope he recovers. Republicans will suffer sans him.

The Daily Smak

The European Union has established a You Tube channel. Unfortunately, their hottest video is porn. Europe, please concede. You are not sophisticated. You‘re a second America.

Allegedly, suspended (supposedly) crew chief Tony Eury attended the Minimally Sponsored New England 300. From a trailer, he provided advice. NASCAR (which stands for Never Assume Suspensions Count in Auto Racing) Brian France is outrage. He has pledged reform. Brian, you’ll be disciplining the disciplined. What does this say?

Senator Arlen (Robert Byrd makes me look young) Specter has announced legislation. His Signing Statement Law will mirror the Signing Statement Law of 2006. If an irrelevant Senator proposes legislation, which is already law, will C-SNORE even care?

NEW RULE

Stop fucking the party.

Three vetoes. President Bush has never vetoed a spending appropriation. He has vetoed stem cell research… twice. Upon his reelection, social security, tax, and tort reform were promised. Instead, gay marriage was debated. Why?

Conservatives’ value is minute. Unfortunately, President Bush cherishes them. They screamed pardon Scooter Libby. President Bush acquiesced. Essentially, he prostituted himself. He did not court the twenty-four carat female. President Bush cuddled the town tramp.

Once, Karl Rove championed a permanent Republican majority. He has failed. Majority occurs only via expansion. Rove has contracted Republicans. He has alienated and ostracized potential converts. Simply stated, he has castrated his party.

I admired President Bush. I aided his reelection. I am angry with him. Why? He has stained Republicans. He has crippled 2008. Undecided voters recognize cronyism. They recognize patronage. This pardon cost us votes.

Mr. President, your action was disastrous. Your second term has been infuriating. On Republican’s behalf, I implore you… stop!

The Big Five (7/1)

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five (7/1)

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Assessing the All-Stars

On Sunday, the American League and National League All-Star rosters were announced.

Concerning the American League, Carlos Guillen, Torii Hunter, Victor Martinez, and Manny Ramirez should have been excluded. Orlando Cabrera, Curtis Granderson, Joe Mauer, and Gary Sheffield should have been included. Josh Beckett should start the contest.

Concerning the National League, Barry Bonds should not start. He should participate. However, fans should have considered controversy and statistics. Miguel Cabrera, J.J. Hardy, Orlando Hudson, and Aaron Rowland should been excluded. Adam Dunn, Kelly Johnson, Chipper Jones, and Hanley Ramirez should have been included. Jake Peavy should start the contest.

Worth A Read

Socialite Life

Thirteen authors dishing gossip, photos, fashion news, and media speculation. Enjoy with a laugh and a martini.

Medical Menaces

Following this weekend’s attacks, two physicians have been arrested. Medicine is a noble profession. Doctors save lives. They do aid terrorists. These rogues warrant severe punishment.

Princes Celebrate Mummy

On Sunday, A Concert For Diana occurred. Organized by Princes William and Harry, the event benefited Centrepoint, Sentebale, and the Princess Diana Memorial Fund. Princess Diana was remarkable. Obviously, her sons have mirrored her example. Their concert was a noble gesture. I applaud them.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you facing thirty months incarceration?

During the second quarter, Barack Obama (Obama, Obama) raised $32 million. Hillary Clinton raised $21 million. Hill, you know your presumed nominee status? Look behind you.

Finally, I tip the ol’ ball cap (it’s purple) to Derek Fisher. Obviously, he is a dedicated parent.

Cash Competitive

According to his campaign, Senator Barack Obama raised $31 million. According to her campaign, Senator Hillary Clinton accrued $21 million. Overall, Obama has banked $56.7 million via 258,000 individual donors.

Obama is established. Clinton has polling and legacy. However, Obama is not an aberration. He is a viable alternative. Clearly, Clinton is the superior campaigner. With that stated, Obama has made a bold statement. Clinton is not inevitable.

Hargrove Admirably Resigns

On Sunday, Seattle Mariners Manager Mike Hargrove resigned. Despite eight consecutive victories, Hargrove stated he was passionless. “There are no dark, sinister reasons for this decision,” he said. “This has been my decision. I have no reason to lie. I've daily challenged my players to give me the best that they've got, 100 percent of what they've got that day -- physically and mentally. And they've done that. Without fail, they've done that. I have never had to work at getting that level myself -- ever -- until recently. I've found that I've had to work harder in making that same commitment to my bosses, to my players and to my coaches. And that's not right. They deserve better. They are good people. There is a good thing going on here. And it's time for me to leave.”

Hargrove’s decision is admirable. He could have remained silent. He could have accrued salary. Respectably, he did not. He valued commitment. I applaud him. Hargrove was an exemplary manager. Both Major League Baseball and the Mariners will miss him.

Narron Nixed

On Sunday, the Cincinnati Reds fired Manager Jerry Narron. During his tenure, Narron recorded a 157-179 ledger. Upon his firing, the Reds stood 31-51.

Since 1990, the Reds have been a quagmire. They have accrued a 1,276-1,398 record. Lou Piniella, Tony Perez, Davey Johnson, Ray Knight, Bob Boone, Jack McKeon, Dave Miley and Narron have exited. Amidst this, the Reds have recorded one playoff appearance.

Cincinnati is a proud baseball metropolis. Their professional history is vast. The Reds have garnered five World Series. Cincinnati deserves a winner. Minimally, they deserve a contender. The Reds must recommit. They owe their fans. They owe baseball. They owe their legacy.

Montoya’s Victory: A Win For NASCAR

Racism is obnoxious. Racism divides the irrelevant. Ethnicity is not character. Creed is not personality. Compassion and decency are traits. Color and speech are not. However, racism ignores humanity. Racism subjugates humanity. The victims are tragically unique.

Last Sunday, Juan Pablo Montoya garnered the Toyota-Save Mart 350. This was great for NASCAR. Montoya has accrued international victories and championships. He is a sensation. NASCAR fans should appreciate his prowess. Unfortunately, hate layered the internet.

NASCAR wears a connotation. NASCAR is crude, illiterate, impoverished, redneck, and southern. Particular fans are relics. They curse, drink, and wave the rebel flag. The aforesaid are endangered. Truthfully, NASCAR is articulate, corporate, lucrative, polished, and spectacular. NASCAR covets diversity and expansion.

Montoya hails from Bogota, Colombia. Cocaine strangled Bogota. Once, 80 of every 100,000 citizens were murdered. Major League Baseball, the NFL, and NBA would celebrate Montoya’s survival. Why not NASCAR? Montoya is a hero. He is an example. He should not only be respected. He should be celebrated.

Fisher: Family First

Derek Fisher: “Life for me outweighs the game of basketball. When it comes to decisions related to them. I do what's best. For me and my family, we just don't believe in it. ... I don't think I could be the player I could be if I had to carry that load.”

Fisher’s decision is noble. Correctly, his parenting supersedes athletics. The Fisher family has our thoughts and prayers.

NEW RULE

Government is not a solution.

Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) desires a federal import czar. Why are Democrats obsessed with government? Why is government the answer? Lyndon Johnson legislated poverty. Does poverty still exist? Jimmy Carter legislated education. Has public education improved? Bill Clinton legislated medical privacy. Have hospitals worsened? The Food and Drug Administration and Consumer Product Safety Commission are massive bureaucracies. They have failed. Government is not an answer. Government is a failure. The aforesaid is obvious. When will Democrats realize this?

Poisonous Response

Senator Schumer (D-NY) desires a Federal Imports Czar. According to him, current mechanisms are inadequate. The Food and Drug Administration and Consumer Product Safety Commission are massive bureaucracies. They have failed. Obviously, additional government is not a solution.

Worth A Read

Minnesota Campaign Report

Blogging the lakes. Providing analysis, information, and a healthy dose of snarky wonkishness.

Surge Proficient?

According to Iraqi officials, civilian casualties have decreased thirty-six percent. Obviously, surge critics should showcase patience.

The Daily Smak

On Sunday, (would, could, should have been Mexican President) Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador staged a rally. Thousands attended and cheered. Viva Al Gore!

Tennessee has instituted universal carding. According to Governor Phil Bredesen, the law will combat underage drinking. I am not the smartest person (shaddup!). How will carding seventy-year-old’s prevent illegal consumption?

Barry Bonds has requested additional security. Allegedly, fans rushing the field concerns him. Relax, Beef Roids. Do not consider them fans. Consider them potential grand jurors.

Tin Can Law

Tennessee has instituted universal carding. Their legislation requires absolute consumer identification. However, bars and restaurants are immune. This law is ridiculous. This law will not prevent straw purchases or underage consumption. This law is merely cosmetic harassment.

Line of the Morning

Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN)

"These are people inexperienced in parliamentary procedure. Most of the time, they hate each other."