Appalachian State Unworthy

On Wednesday, the Associated Press amended their guidelines. Henceforth, the 1-A rankings can include 1-AA squads. Appalachian State’s victory was monumental. However, their victory was an aberration. They do not warrant 1-A consideration.

ESPN: Ohio State’s Mountaineer Crush

The enemy of my enemy is my friend -- and I want to wear my new friend's T-shirt!

That's the newest trend among Ohio State fans, whose latest fashion statement is in the colors of Appalachian State, which shocked then-No. 5 Michigan 34-32 on Saturday in the first win by a Division I-AA team over a ranked I-A team.

Hours after the historic defeat, at least one street vendor was doing brisk business selling freshly minted Mountaineers T-shirts near the Ohio State campus. And local stores say they've been swamped with requests for gear bearing the Mountaineers' gold and black colors and logo, as Buckeyes fans take glee in the humiliation of their bitter rival.

"If I had a dollar for every time someone's asked, I could retire," said manager Greg Pierson at Sports Fan Attic.

The mall store on the city's north side planned to stock Appalachian State shirts within the next few days, though just a small number. "It's very popular at the moment, but it'll die down very shortly," Pierson predicted.

Meanwhile, phone lines at the bookstore on the Appalachian State campus in Boone, N.C., have been jammed with orders for Mountaineers merchandise, with many of the calls coming from Ohio.

But the store has had to be careful, because an old state law limits sales at university bookstores to students, faculty and alumni. A couple of Ohio men wanting large numbers of Appalachian State T-shirts had to be turned down, said Lorraine Childers, the bookstore's assistant director.

Smaller orders might get by.

"If people call in and say, 'My uncle is a graduate' or whatever, we really don't have a way to verify that," Childers said.

NEW RULE

Stop questioning Ron Paul.

Last night, FOX News hosted a Republican debate. Concerning Iraq, Ron Paul was questioned. Predictably, he ranted. He denounced imperialism and the War on Terror. Predictably, several candidates excoriated him. These candidates are not tough. They were scoring cheap applause. Ron Paul is not analytical. He is an imbecile. Therefore, stop asking him questions. During the debate, ignore him. Encourage his exit. Ron Paul cannot win. His views have no benefit. He is not educating America. He is annoying America. He is annoying me. Thus, he should shut up. Everyone should help him.

Their Turkey Sandwich

Hillary Clinton’s campaign is seeking donors. As reciprocation, they are offering lunch. The aforesaid is a ploy. With that stated, Clinton’s campaign is innovative. I applaud them.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you resigning?

On Wednesday, the Giants and Jets broke ground on their new stadium. Given Rutgers success, the Giants and Jets have slipped. In New Jersey, they are less popular. In New York, they still suck.

Thousands of Chinese condoms have been recalled. The Chinese recalling toys, depriving our children. This was fine. Depriving Americans of sex? That is wrong.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“The L.A. Department of Family Services has closed its investigation of Britney Spears' parenting, because they found nothing and they couldn’t find anything . . . including the kids. Even Britney doesn’t know where they are.”

The Tonight Show

Senator Craig Decides to Fight

On Wednesday, Senator Craig formally recanted. He is withdrawing his plea. He also requested the Senate Ethics Committee not investigate. They rebuffed him.

As previously stated, Senator Craig’s recantation is a pipedream. Senator Craig is an embarrassment. His actions were revolting. They were abhorrent and disgusting. Senator Craig betrayed his office and the public’s trust. His exodus was appropriate. Senator Craig, you are unwanted. Do not return.

Larry Craig Voicemail: Declaration of Intention?

Senator Larry Craig: “Yes, Billy, this is Larry Craig calling. You can reach me on my cell. (Sen.) Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) is now willing to come out in my defense, arguing that it appears, by all that he knows, that I've been railroaded and all that. Having all of that, we have reshaped my statement a little bit to say it is my intent to resign on Sept. 30. I think it is important for you to make as bold a statement as you are comfortable with this afternoon, and I would hope you could make it in front of the cameras.”

NEW RULE

Pleading guilty concludes the conversation.

According to his spokesman, legal outcome will decide. Legal outcome? Senator Craig plead guilty. He was wrong. He cannot claim innocence. Were Lindsay Lohan or Michael Vick innocent? Innocent people kick and scream. They do not plead guilty. Why? Pleading guilty admits wrong. Wrong can never be right.

Terrorist Dangers Denied

Germany has thwarted a terrorist plot. According to FOX News, German police arrested three operatives. The jihadists were set to attack Frankfurt International Airport and Ramstein Air Force Base. On behalf of America, thank you.

LA’s Triangle: Friends, Enemies, & Relationships

Los Angeles is bipolar. The scenes are sunned and spectacular. They are glittering and gorgeous. They cannot induce pain. The people are mean and malicious. They are vicious and vindictive. Their demeanor is inviting. Yet, they are intrinsically evil. Allegedly, Los Angeles is the city of angels. Truthfully, Los Angeles is a city of facades.

Brody and Lauren are friends. Upon hearing this, Spencer became enraged. He excoriated Brody. According to Spencer, friends should not coddle friend’s enemies. Spencer is correct. Friends and enemies mingling is awkward. With that stated, Spencer is an eight year old. His brooding and immaturity was revolting.

Brody and Lauren attended Les Deux and Roosevelt Pool. They are adorable. Spencer should not run their lives. However, Lauren is overly trusting. She should be wary of Kristin’s sloppy seconds.

Audrina and Justin discussed their relationship. Evidently, Justin abhors labels. He decried commitment as a societal norm. Justin-Bobby, you are not Kurt Cobain’s reincarnation. You are not existential. You are revolting. Avoiding labels has one motivation… Anonymous random hookups.

An Opera Icon

Luciano Pavarotti
(1935-2007)

Benoit’s Brain Carnage Catalyst?

According to a study, concussions caused Chris Benoit’s rampage. Upon his death, Benoit’s body contained hydrocodone, testosterone, and Xanax. His crimes were horrific and unspeakable. Continually reexamining them is senseless.

“He Served the Institution”

Congressman Paul Gillmor
(1939-2007)

Get Out the Trash… Today

According to a study, Iraqi security is two years away. What is the Democratic strategy? Prior to General David Petraeus’, limitless negative information?

World Champions

United States Women’s Gymnastics

Worth A Read

43rd State Blues

Blue shifting the gem state. Occasionally, mocking Senator Larry Craig.

Futile & Repugnant

Federal Reserve: “Outside of real estate, reports that the turmoil in financial markets had affected economic activity during the survey period were limited.”

The Federal Reserve is ridiculous. Interest rates need sliced. Unfortunately, they remain oblivious.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you preseason top five?

On Tuesday, Tony Eury Jr. joined Hendrick Motorsports. According to Owner Rick Hendrick, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Eury have a successful history. Has Hendrick forgotten their feud?

Allegedly, Senator Larry Craig is reconsidering resigning. Evidently, he consulted his family, searched his soul, and polled three random men’s rooms.

Senator Craig Reconsidering?

Sidney Smith: “It's not such a foregone conclusion anymore, that the only thing he [Senator Craig] could do was resign. We're still preparing as if Senator Craig will resign Sept. 30, but the outcome of the legal case in Minnesota and the ethics investigation will have an impact on whether we're able to stay in the fight — and stay in the Senate. It was a little more cut and dried a few days ago. There weren't many options. He was basically going to have to step aside. Now, there's a little more to it.”

Senator Craig is repugnant. This recantation is a pipedream. Senator Craig is an embarrassment. His actions were revolting. They were abhorrent and disgusting. Senator Craig betrayed his office and the public’s trust. His exodus was appropriate. Senator Craig, you are unwanted. Do not return.

GAO Drubs Surge

On Tuesday, the Iraqi government received seven satisfactory and eleven unsatisfactory ratings. This report is disturbing. However, I am unconvinced. I await General David Petraeus’ evaluation.

FDIC: Work Together

FDIC Chairman Sheila Barr: “More and more consumers with subprime and hybrid mortgage products are facing the very real prospect of losing their homes through foreclosure as their payments reset and become unaffordable. It is vital that mortgage servicers work proactively with borrowers facing much higher payments as their interest rates reset.”

The FDIC’s attitude is correct. Lenders should compromise. They should relent. Simply foreclosing is futile.

Georgia Tech & Clemson Parachute, Michigan Plunges

1. USC (1)
2. LSU (2)
3. West Virginia (3)
4. Florida (6)
5. Oklahoma (8)
6. Wisconsin (7)
7. Texas (4)
8. Louisville (10)
9. Virginia Tech (9)
10. California (12)
11. Georgia (13)
12. Ohio State (11)
13. UCLA (14)
14. Penn State (17)
15. Rutgers (16)
16. Nebraska (20)
17. Auburn (18)
18. Arkansas (21)
19. TCU (22)
20. Hawaii (23)
21. Georgia Tech (N/A)
22. Boise State (24)
23. Texas A&M (25)
24. Tennessee (15)
25. Clemson (N/A)

Game Balls (College Football Edition)

Kahlil Bell (RB - UCLA): 19 carries, 195 yards
(Win: 45-17 at Stanford)

Yvenson Bernard (RB - Oregon State): 29 carries, 165 yards, 2 td
(Win: 24-7 vs. Utah)

Sam Bradford (QB - Oklahoma): 21/23, 363 yards, 3 td
(Win: 79-10 vs. North Texas)

Tashard Choice (RB - Georgia Tech): 26 carries, 196 yards, 2 td
(Win: 33-3 at Notre Dame)

Chase Daniel (QB - Missouri): 37/54, 359 yards, 3 td
(Win: 40-34 at Illinois)

Justin Forsett (RB - California): 26 carries, 156 yards, 1 td
(Win: 45-31 vs. Tennessee)

Darren McFadden (RB - Arkansas): 24 carries, 151 yards, 1 td; 1/1, 42 yards, 1 td
(Win: 46-26 vs. Troy)

Devin Moore (RB - Wyoming): 18 carries, 125 yards, 1 td
(Win: 23-3 vs. Virginia)

Matt Ryan (QB - Boston College): 32/52, 406 yards, 5 td
(Win: 38-28 vs. Wake Forest)

Kevin Smith (RB - Central Florida): 35 carries, 217 yards, 2 td
(Win: 25-23 at North Carolina State)

Luke Swan (WR - Wisconsin): 8 receptions, 170 yards, 2 td
(Win: 42-21 vs. Washington State)

Tim Tebow (QB - Florida): 13/17, 300 yards, 3 td; 8 carries, 38 yards, 1 td
(Win: 49-3 vs. Western Kentucky)

Finally, Clausen is Starter

On Tuesday, Notre Dame chose a quarterback. Jimmy Clausen is their starter. Coach Charlie Weiss’ decision is correct. Clausen is Notre Dame’s future. He possesses immense talent. He should be the starter. Additionally, Weiss is an offensive genius. He should scrap the zone read.

Option Exercised, Callahan Extended

On Tuesday, Nebraska retained Coach Bill Callahan. Callahan signed a three-year contract. Amidst absurd expectations, Callahan has accrued a 23-15 record. Nebraska fans should shut up. Their option dominance is dead. Callahan deserved retention. Thankfully, Nebraska agreed.

Dale & Tony: A Future Together

On Tuesday, Tony Eury Jr. joined Hendrick Motorsports. He signed a multi-year contract. “Tony Jr. and Dale have a successful history working together,” said Owner Rick Hendrick. “They have trust in each other, which is the biggest part of the relationship between driver and crew chief.”

Hendrick’s comment is ironic. In 2005, Earnhardt and Eury abhorred each other. Eventually, they realized the obvious. They cannot win independently.

NEW RULE

Endorsements are irrelevant.

On Monday, the United Mine Workers of America and the United Steelworkers endorsed John Edwards. Previously, the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers and the United Transportation Union endorsed Hillary Clinton. The International Association of Fire Fighters endorsed Chris Dodd.

Predictably, these campaigns are ecstatic. Why? Endorsements do not elect. Voters do not care. They do not select from endorsements. They select from issues, personality, and previous statements. Candidates should not court endorsements. They are akin to desert. They are nice and unnecessary.

Separated Shoulder Shelves Rudd

On Tuesday, Ricky Rudd was diagnosed with a separated shoulder. On Sunday, he will not compete. Given his impending retirement, Rudd’s injury is unfortunate. Rudd has never been a champion. He has never been a superstar. However, he has been a warrior. He has been NASCAR’s personification.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“This is fashion week in New York. All the fashionista's were there… Oscar De La Renta… Ralph Lauren… Senator Larry Craig.” (LS)

Late Show with David Letterman

Roenick Returns

On Tuesday, the San Jose Sharks signed Jeremy Roenick. During his career, Roenick has accrued 495 goals, 675 assists, and 1,170 points. He is an exemplary individual. He is articulate, colorful, and controversial. Every contest with him is enjoyable.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Spencer’s best friend?

This weekend, Itunes discarded NBC. NBC’s situation is bleak. Reportedly exiting next? Hayden Panittiere?

According to researchers, Tour de France bicyclists have large hearts. Perfectly, these hearts balance their steroid induced smaller testicles.

Celebrating Labor Day

NEW RULE

Racism is not law enforcement.

In May, Houston police distributed a ghetto handbook. The publication defined slang. Slang including "aks," "foty," and "hoodrat." These cops warrant termination. Their material was insensitive, inflammatory, and irrelevant. These words are not fresh. They have been discarded. In fact, Naughty by Nature phoned and requested them. Police protect and serve. They do not condescend and stereotype. Training materials are acceptable. Degrading young African-Americans is not.

Professional Recycling

Each NFL season, veterans are discarded. Subsequently, franchises retrieve the talented.

Aaron Glenn
(Cut: New York Jets)
(Retrieved: Jacksonville Jaguars)

Simeon Rice
(Cut: Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
(Retrieved: Denver Broncos)

Jeremiah Trotter
(Cut: Philadelphia Eagles)
(Retrieved: Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

Charlie Victory

On Monday, the Cleveland Browns chose a quarterback. Charlie Frye is their starter. Coach Romeo Crenel’s decision is correct. Given the present climate, Crenel must win. Frye affords him the chance.

Worth A Read

Brew Blog

Miller's active and informed dialogue. Blogging beer industry news.

Vitamin Water… Try It!

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn't you use to be Michigan?

During a party, Britney Spears switched dresses. Thankfully, she arrived wearing one.

This weekend, Iran's Revolutionary Guard head was fired. Allegedly, he only hated Israel.

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Craig Formally Resigns

On Saturday, Senator Larry Craig announced his resignation. Officially, he will depart September 30. Senator Craig’s resignation was the resolution of a nightmare. His actions were revolting. They were abhorrent and disgusting. Senator Craig betrayed his office and the public’s trust.

Concerning Craig’s Republican banishment, surprise has been expressed. I applaud our reaction. Craig was a pariah. He was an embarrassment. He could have jeopardized 2008. Thankfully, politics has two choices. Act or not act. Not acting would have been suicidal.

Larry Craig: Exiting Amidst Disgrace

Larry Craig: “First and foremost this morning, let me thank my family for being with me. We're missing a son who's working in McCall, and simply couldn't make it down. But for my wife Suzanne and our daughter Shae, and Mike to be with me is very humbling.”

“To have the governor standing behind me, as he always has, is tremendous strength for me. To have Bill Sali who has never wavered, and who has been there by phone call and by prayer, and his wife, is tremendously humbling.”

“For the leader of our party, Kirk Sullivan, to be standing here, who sought immediate counsel with me in this, is in itself humbling. For Tom Luna — for any public official at this moment in time to be standing with Larry Craig is in itself a humbling experience.”

“For most of my adult life, I had the privilege of serving the people of Idaho. I'm grateful for the opportunity they have given me. It has been a blessing. I am proud of my record and accomplishments, and equally proud of the wonderful and talented people with whom I have had the honor and the privilege to work and to serve.”

“I choose to serve because I love Idaho. What is best for Idaho has always been the focus of my efforts, and it is no different today. To Idahoans I represent, to my staff, my Senate colleagues, but most importantly, to my wife and my family, I apologize for what I have caused. I am deeply sorry.”

“I have little control over what people choose to believe, but clearly my name is important to me and my family is so very important also. Having said that, to pursue my legal options, as I continue to serve Idaho, would be an unwanted and unfair distraction of my job and for my Senate colleagues. These are serious times of war and of conflict — times that deserve the Senate's and the full nation's attention.”

“There are many challenges facing Idaho that I am currently involved in. And the people of Idaho deserve a senator who can devote 100 percent of his time and effort to the critical issues of our state and of our nation.”

“Therefore it is with sadness and deep regret that I announce that it is my intent to resign from the Senate, effective Sept. 30. In doing so, I hope to allow a smooth and orderly transition of my loyal staff and for the person appointed to take my place at William E. Borah's desk. I have full confidence that Gov. Otter will appoint a successor who will serve Idaho with distinction.”

“I apologize to the people of our great state for being unable to serve out a term to which I have been elected. Few people have had the privilege and the pleasure to represent Idaho for as many years as I have. Each day, each week, each year brought new challenges and opportunities to create a better life for Idahoans. I have enjoyed every moment and cannot adequately put into words how much I appreciate what you have given me: the chance to work for this great state. I hope you do not regret the confidence you have placed in me over all of these years. I hope I have served you and our state to the best of my ability.”

“Lastly, Suzanne and I have been humbled beyond words by the tremendous outpouring of support we have received from our friends, our family, our staff and fellow Idahoans. We are profoundly and forever grateful. Thank you all very much.”

Post Resignation, Republicans Complimentary

White House: “Sen. Craig made the right decision for himself, his family, his constituents, and the United States Senate. After the president heard the news he called Sen. Craig and he said he knew it was a difficult decision and wished him well.”

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY): “Senator Larry Craig made a difficult decision, but the right one. It is my hope he will be remembered not for this, but for his three decades of dedicated public service.”

Line of the Morning

Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA)

“I'd like to see Larry Craig seek to withdraw the guilty plea, and fight the case. I'd like to see him fight the case because I think he could be vindicated.”

The M Zone’s Hilarious Burn

“It's finally here now. The 2007 season. They've brought Appalachian State onto the Big House field to be run over by a number of maize and blue men. Michigan's offense is starting with a touchdown; it's--the offense has started to slack up. Now the defense is barely holding, just enough to-- It's burst into flames! The 2007 season burst into flames! And it's falling! It's crashing! Watch it! Watch it! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Michigan's national championship dreams are on fire-- and they're crashing! They're crashing terrible! Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! The season is burning and bursting into flames! And Michigan is falling-- falling out of the polls! This is terrible. This is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the college football world! It's in flames...crashing! Four or five in both polls and it's-- it's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. It's smoke, and it's flames now! And Henne's Heisman chances are crashing to the ground, probably bringing Hart's with it. Oh, the humanity! And all the fans in the stadium are screaming for Lloyd's head around here. It-- I can't even talk to people. Ah- it's- it's a - ah, I- I can't talk, ladies and gentlemen! Honest, the season, it's just laying there, a mass of smoking wreckage. Ah. And everybody in the stands, the Michigan fans, can hardly breathe and talk, and the screaming. Honest; I can hardly breathe. I'm going to step out of the stadium for I dare not see it. Losing to a 1-AA team, that's terrible. I can't watch. Folks, I'm going to have to stop for a minute because I've lost my voice. This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed.”

Michigan Fans Disaster Reaction

Post #1: Hard for me to believe that the loss yesterday was any less painful for the players or coaches than it was for the fans. Hart was injured, but was great while he was in there. Some of the execution, or lack thereof, cannot be blamed so much on the coaches as on the players who now have to live with the consequences. I hope they get back to some serious work - and soul searching - and salvage the season with great effort and some quality wins. Did anyone really expect this team to be THAT great?? About half of last year's starting defense is in the NFL, and THEY got smoked by the offenses of Ohio State and Southern Cal. We needed to go out and get a JC transfer linebacker - Panter, who isn't even ready to play at the position - because the cupboard was bare. Before yesterday, who on our defense would you have not traded for an equivalent position player on the defense of OSU, USC, Penn State..? This leads to coaching. Clearly - CLEARLY - we were outcoached yesterday. App St came in with a great game plan. We did not make adequate defensive adjustments until halftime. Why so long?? The offense is predictable and you cannot always beat everyone with out-execution, especially if they have a good idea what's coming. Special teams? Crable is a senior. By now, he should know who to block. Yet, the confusion on the field is on the coaches. And, again, recruiting. Rivas is gone and the coaches have known for years that he would not be here this year. If our current kickers are not good enough to consistently win a starting job, why wasn't someone recruited who could be counted on for a few years? How often do we see this with Michigan? It needs to be a point of emphasis, as do special teams as a whole.

Post #2: I'm not jumping on the Fire Carr bandwagon. Clearly, though, the coaching staff needs to look at everything - top to bottom - to not only salwage this season, but to keep Michigan at or near the top of the heap. You make great points, and yes, the players need to execute, but yesterday showed more then just a few individual's breakdowns. There seemed to be a lack of fundamentals and attention to detail - tackling, blocking, reads - you name it. That all falls on coaching. Michigan is a perennial powerhouse. Just like at OSU, no matter how many players you lose, you are expected to reload. There's no doubt you have great talent on your team, which once again puts what happened yesterday on the coaches. Honestly, yesterday's loss began well before the team took the field. Mental and physical preparation are the responsibility of the coaches, and they didn't have the team ready. As a Buckeye, of course I take some pleasure from the loss. BUT, yesterday's loss truly hurt the Big Ten. My question now is how do you guys recover so you can beat a PAC-10 team to hopefully shut-up some of their arrogant fans?

Post #3: Most Buckeye fans I have observed are enjoying this more than they do a Buckeye victory which I just don't understand. I am sorry that we have hurt the Big Tens image, both yesterday and at the end of last season, but OSU's title game loss didn't help.. For the rest of the Big Ten schools, if they want to help the conference, and we suck so bad, why don't they ever beat us. Geez. This is depressing.

Post #4: i was a carr supporter every time someone mentioned he should be let go and i would defend him, but not this time. michigan needs new coaches from top to bottom. some of the things that took place today should only happen in high school once in a while. i counted 3 times during a fg attempt that they did not have all the players on the field, how the hell does that happen at a division 1 a school like michigan. also when asu would go 4 or 5 wide we would either stay in a base D or a nickle with a lb covering a slot wr. when the qb scored the td from around the 6 yard line i told my friend exactly what was going to happen because we did not have 1 lb behind the line of scrimmage to spy the qb and he ran right down the middle and scored. this coaching staff is coaching in the 1970's and 1980's and ever one else is in the modern era and we need a coach that is up to date. l. carr is a great person, does great things to help the university ect.. ,but the game has passed him and his coaching staff and we need a fresh new start, but it probably won't happen till next year. i just pray that this team doesn't fall apart because oregon is going to be a very tough game and i really think if we lose that game were in deep dew dew. just my 2 cents GO BLUE!

Post #5: U-M staff should be watching Oklahoma right now they dont mess around when they play teams they know they should blowout. up 35-0 on north texas and OU is throwing it all over the place.

Virginia Tech Prevails

Leftwich Tossed

On Saturday, the Jacksonville Jaguars released Byron Leftwich. As previously stated, The Jaguars’ decision was reprehensible. Granted, Leftwich sustained injuries. However, he could have been cut earlier. I hope Leftwich resurfaces. I hope he succeeds.

Tackling HGH

On Saturday morning, New England Patriots Rodney Harrison was suspended for four contests. On Saturday afternoon, Dallas Cowboys Quarterbacks Coach Wade Wilson was suspended for five. Both had utilized Human Growth Hormone. The NFL’s steroid policy has been effective. With that stated, Human Growth Hormone is murkier. What is the drug’s extent?

Praying For Juan

On Friday, a foul ball struck St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Juan Encarnacion. Encarnacion sustained multiple eye socket fractures. His career has been jeopardized. Encarnacion has our thoughts and prayers.

His Second Start

Clay Buchholz
9 innings pitched, 0 hits, 9 strikeouts

The Big Five (8/26)

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five (8/26)

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.