Terrible Bizarre Losers Maul Melrose

Analysts are trendy. On television, they are knowledgeable. They posses unique insight. Unfortunately, reality never mirrors expectations. With Barry Melrose, I predicted the aforesaid would continue. However, this is ridiculous.

On Friday, the Tampa Bay Lightning fired Melrose. Associate Coach Rick Tocchet supplanted him. “Although we'd all like miracles ... that's not going to happen,” said General Manager Brian Lawton. “Players are going to need some time to understand what he's trying to get at. I think we're a higher scoring club than we've shown. To be dead last in the National Hockey League is not something that I'm excited about. But more importantly, philosophically, it's not the direction I want to see our club go in.”

During his career, Melrose logged an 87-110-35 ledger. He accrued one Western Conference championship. In 1992-1993, he was 39-35-10. In 1993-1994, he was 27-45-12. In 1994-1995, he was 16-23-9. Upon his firing, the Lighting stood 5-7-4. “This was a tough decision to make,” said Lawton. “Barry is a good man and we have a great deal of respect for him. We wish him nothing but success. However, the results were unacceptable and the players have to understand that we need to be better. Hopefully this change helps push them. Myself, certainly the players and the rest of our staff, we all have to take responsibility for this as well. It's a difficult job. Ultimately, you have one person that's paying the price for a lack of deliverance on performance for a number of people, or a team in this case.”

“I asked for a sixty minute effort every night,” said Melrose. “I don’t think its to much for a guy making millions of dollars to play like that. I don’t think that’s out of the ordinary and no I didn’t get that from the players. The problem is I wasn’t able to get them to do it. That’s what coaching is about.”

Tampa Bay’s decision is asinine. The Lightning were not perennial contenders. They were worthless. John Tortorella reinvented them. Melrose would have resurrected them. Unfortunately, Tampa Bay overvalued themselves. Owners Len Barrie and Oren Koules warrant condemnation.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 32-23)

Ohio State (-9 ½) at Illinois
In 2007, Illinois defeated Ohio State 28-21. In 2008, the Buckeyes will garner revenge.

Texas at Kansas (+13)
In the Big Twelve, surprises remain.

South Carolina (+22 ½) at Florida
Since 2005, Urban Meyer has scored consecutive contests. Steve Spurrier cannot even the series. However, the Gamecocks will compete.

BYU (-4 ½) at Air Force
Versus the Falcons, BYU has won four consecutive contests. On Saturday, they will cruise.

Boston College (+ 6 ½) at Florida State
For three quarters, they will skirmish. In the fourth quarter, the Seminoles survive.

What Wall Street Giveth…

On Thursday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average soared 552.59 points. On Friday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 337.94 points. If you have an investment strategy, take and toss into the sky.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“On this day in 1972, the Dow Jones hit 1,000. Unfortunately, it did the same thing today.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Paulson: What Happened Was…

Economic resuscitation’s objectives? Purchase ruinous mortgages. Unfreeze consumer credit. On Wednesday, Secretary of Treasury Henry Paulson announced consumer credit is not unfrozen. Ruinous mortgages will not be purchased. The Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 411.30 points.

Adaptability is imperative. Situations and solutions must intertwine. If Paulson has read and reacted, I will applaud him. However, I am nervous.

Lee Cops Cy Young

On Thursday, Cliff Lee won the American League Cy Young Award. In 2008, Lee went 22-3. The Cleveland Indians went 81-81. Obviously, individual excellence warrants respect. However, one should not ignore shared ineptitude.

Lincecum Cops Cy Young

On Tuesday, Tim Lincecum won the National League Cy Young Award. In 2008, Lincecum went 18-5. The San Francisco Giants went 72-90. Obviously, individual excellence warrants respect. However, one should not ignore shared ineptitude.

Ann Dunwoody: First Female Four Star General

NEW RULE

President-Elect Obama merits respect.

Congressman Paul Broun (R-GA): “It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force. I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may -- may not, I hope not -- but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism. That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did. When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist. We can't be lulled into complacency. You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany. I'm not comparing him to Adolf Hitler. What I'm saying is there is the potential.”

Respect should be assumed. President-Elect Obama won. His margin was substantial. His congressional majority expanded. His senatorial majority expanded. Republicans should acquiesce. Instead, we compare President-Elect Obama, Communists, and Nazis.

President-Elect Obama and I disagree. However, he is not a communist. He is not a nazi. He is not a socialist. These assertions are putrid, repugnant, and vile. President-Elect Obama’s ideas are different. His patriotism is not. Dictator comparisons are inappropriate. They illustrate our incompetence.

The campaign is concluded. The rhetoric must cease. America has problems. Americans need solutions. If Republicans cooperate, they will succeed. If Congressman Broun epitomizes them, Republicans will be a permanent minority.

Disaster Calamity Racing

On Wednesday, Dale Earnhardt Incorporated and Chip Ganassi Racing with Felix Sabates merged. Combined, their roster includes Aric Almirola, Juan Pablo Montoya, and Martin Truex Jr. “Having a partner like Chip who is heavily involved on the competition side of the business is an ideal situation for DEI,” said Teresa Earnhardt. “He has a long history of managing championship teams in the IndyCar and Rolex Grand-Am Series, and I share his passion and goals of winning races and ultimately championships in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series.”

In 2008, Almirola, Montoya, and Truex have recorded only five top five and 13 top ten finishes. Clearly, Earnhardt, Ganassi, and Sabates are sans strategy and talent.

The Empire Has No Soul

On Thursday, the Chicago White Sox traded Nick Swisher to the New York Yankees. As reciprocation, the White Sox received infielder Wilson Betemit and minor league pitchers Jeff Marquez and Jhonny Nunez. “We're excited with the addition of Nick Swisher,” said Yankees Manager Joe Girardi. “We feel he has a ton of upside. He's a patient switch-hitter, adds versatility at a number of defensive positions, including first base and the outfield, and will be a positive presence inside the clubhouse.”

From 1996-2001, the Yankees were constant. Their core was entrenched. Today, the Yankees are incoherent. Their crux is purchased. Hank Steinbrenner must modify his mindset. Money may acquire assets. Money will never garner championships.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has called for emergency assistance for the auto industry. She said it was an absolute emergency. But since it was Nancy Pelosi, no one could tell from her facial expression that it was an emergency.”

The Tonight Show

Survivor: Manipulation, Merge Cast Charlie

On Thursday, Fang and Kota merged. Subsequently, Ken schemed. His objective? Eliminate Charlie. Via a 5-4 vote, Charlie was eliminated.

NEW RULE

Silence is mandatory.

BCS Presidential Oversight Committee Chairman David Frohnmayer: “We deeply respect the president-elect and we are glad that he is a fan of college football. We have the most compelling regular season in all of sports, and I'm sure that contributes to Senator Obama's enjoyment of our great game. My colleagues and I on the BCS Presidential Oversight Committee have discussed the future of postseason football on many occasions and we do not believe a playoff would be in the best interest of the sport, the student-athletes or our many other constituencies.”

President-Elect Obama’s playoff suggestion was a joke. A response was not required. The BCS is not “postseason football.” The BCS is asinine, monetary, and ridiculous. Supporters should not be vocal. They should be embarrassed.

Worth A Read

Boston Maggie

Inappropriate and unprepared.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you Senator Barack Obama?

According to the CDC, adult smoking has declined. President Bush’s reaction? “Healthcare accomplished.”

Today’s top five or this weekend’s attractions (1) South Carolina at Florida, (2) Ravens at Giants, (3) Cowboys at Redskins, (4) Pistons at Lakers, (5) G-20 Summit

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 26-23)

Jets (+3 ½) at Patriots
In week two, the Patriots defeated the Jets 19-10. Tonight, the Jets will garner revenge.

Broncos at Falcons (-5 ½)
Jay Cutler versus Matt Ryan. Both amass three hundred yards. Both toss three touchdowns. However, the Falcons win the contest.

Ravens (+6 ½) at Giants
Simply stated, the Ravens need the respect.

Vikings at Buccaneers (-4)
Last week, the Vikings stuned the Packers 28-27. Consecutive conquests are implausible.

Cowboys (-2 ½) at Redskins
On Thursday, Jerry Jones promised the playoffs. On Sunday, the Cowboys will validate him.

2008 NFL Award Semi-Finalists

George Halas Award
(NFL’s Best Head Coach)

Bill Belichick (New England Patriots)
Tom Coughlin (New York Giants)
Jeff Fisher (Tennessee Titans)
John Fox (Carolina Panthers)
John Harbaugh (Baltimore Ravens)
Mike Smith (Atlanta Falcons)
Tony Sparano (Miami Dolphins)
Jim Zorn (Washington Redskins)

Roger Staubauch Award
(NFL MVP)

Ronnie Brown (Miami Dolphins)
Brett Favre (New York Jets)
Matt Forte (Chicago Bears)
Albert Haynesworth (Tennessee Titans)
Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings)
Clinton Portis (Washington Redskins)
Michael Turner (Atlanta Falcons)
Kurt Warner (Arizona Cardinals)

Joe Montana Award
(NFL’s Best Quarterback)

Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints)
Jay Cutler (Denver Broncos)
Brett Favre (New York Jets)
Eli Manning (New York Giants)
Peyton Manning (Indianalopis Colts)
Chad Pennington (Miami Dolphins)
Phillip Rivers (San Diego Chargers)
Kurt Warner (Arizona Cardinals)

Walter Payton Award
(NFL’s Best Running back)

Ronnie Brown (Miami Dolphins)
Matt Forte (Chicago Bears)
Brandon Jacobs (New York Giants)
Chris Johnson (Tennessee Titans)
Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings)
Clinton Portis (Washington Redskins)
Michael Turner (Atlanta Falcons)
DeAngelo Williams (Carolina Panthers)

Steve Largent Award
(NFL’s Best Wide Receiver)

Anquan Boldin (Arizona Cardinals)
Lee Evans (Buffalo Bills)
Larry Fitzgerald (Arizona Cardinals)
Andre Johnson (Houston Texans)
Santana Moss (Washington Redskins)
Eddie Royal (Denver Broncos)
Reggie Wayne (Indianapolis Colts)
Roddy White (Atlanta Falcons)

Anthony Munoz Award
(NFL’s Best Offensive Lineman)

Flozell Adams (Dallas Cowboys)
Levi Brown (Arizona Cardinals)
Jordan Gross (Carolina Panthers)
Alan Faneca (New York Jets)
Matt Light (New England Patriots)
Kevin Mawae (Tennessee Titans)
Shaun O’Hara (New York Giants)
Chris Samuels (Washington Redskins)

Richard Dent Award
(NFL’s Best Defensive Lineman)

John Abraham (Atlanta Falcons)
Jared Allen (Minnesota Vikings)
Albert Haynesworth (Tennessee Titans)
Julius Peppers (Carolina Panthers)
Richard Seymour (New England Patriots)
Justin Tuck (New York Giants)
Kevin Williams (Minnesota Vikings)
Mario Williams (Houston Texans)

Ray Nitschke Award
(NFL’s Best Linebacker)

Jon Beason (Carolina Panthers)
Gary Brackett (Indianapolis Colts)
James Harrison (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Joey Porter (Miami Dolphins)
Paul Posluszny (Buffalo Bills)
Barrett Ruud (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Jonathan Vilma (New Orleans Saints)
DeMarcus Ware (Dallas Cowboys)

Michael Haynes Award
(NFL’s Best Defensive Back)

Erik Coleman (Atlanta Falcons)
Cortland Finnegan (Tennessee Titans)
Michael Griffin (Tennessee Titans)
Brandon Meriweather (New England Patriots)
Troy Polamalu (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Ed Reed (Baltimore Ravens)
Asante Samuel (Philadelphia Eagles)
Corey Webster (New York Giants)

Morten Anderson Award
(NFL’s Best Place Kicker)

David Akers (Philadelphia Eagles)
Rob Bironas (Tennessee Titans)
Matt Bryant (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
John Carney (New York Giants)
Jason Elam (Atlanta Falcons)
John Kasay (Carolina Panthers)
Ryan Longwell (Minnesota Vikings)
Jeff Reed (Pittsburgh Steelers)

Ray Guy Award
(NFL’s Best Punter)

Jason Baker (Carolina Panthers)
Josh Bidwell (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Jeff Feagles (New York Giants)
Craig Hentrich (Tennessee Titans)
Sam Koch (Baltimore Ravens)
Brad Maynard (Chicago Bears)
Mat McBriar (Dallas Cowboys)
Brian Moorman (Buffao Bills)

Kanye West: I Am The One

Kanye West: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”

Palin Champions Pragmatism, Chides Republicans

Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK): “Let us resolve not to become the negative party, too eager to find fault or unwilling to help in this time of crisis and war. Losing an election does not have to mean losing our way, and for governors, the way forward leads through our own state capitals in reforms we will carry on or begin anew.”

“As far as we're concerned, the past is the past, it's behind us. And I, like all of our governors, we're focused on the future. And the future for us is not that 2012 presidential race. It's next year, and our next budgets and the next reforms in our states, and it's 2010 when we'll have 36 governors' positions open across the U.S.”

“We are united and we understand what it's going to take to get this economy back on the right track, national security issues, immigration issues, education reform, health care reform, those issues that we deal with every day in our states. We want to reach out to the new administration and offer our assistance, our support, offer solutions and I think that we'll be sought by the new administration, by Congress, and we're here to help.”

Fox News: Monetary Jihad?

Shariah-compliant banking, sometimes called Islamic banking, is growing in popularity in the Western and Islamic worlds. But critics say American interest in the system at a time of economic crisis is opening the door to increased Islamic influence in the American banking system. Worse yet, some fear the banks may be helping to finance international terrorism.

In Shariah-compliant banking, lenders may not charge interest and investors cannot make money from forbidden industries like gambling, alcohol, pork and pornography. Selling debt, devising derivatives and short selling are also prohibited, and investments must be closely tied to actual assets.

In the U.S., the Dow Jones Islamic Index tracks Shariah-compliant companies and funds, and funds have sprung up like the Amana Mutual Funds Trust and the Azzad Asset Management. American investment funds, like those offered by TD Ameritrade and Charles Schwab, can invest in Shariah-compliant companies, and those companies can offer investments in American companies. Top holdings in the Azzad Ethical Midcap Fund, for example, include Western Digital Corp., Southwest Electric Co. and Apple Computer, Inc.

But allowing Shariah-compliant finance in the U.S. is green-lighting a seditious system that supports jihad, said Frank Gaffney, founder and president of the Center for Security Policy in Washington, D.C. "If you understand what Shariah is, you understand that it is a pretty awful system. Not something that you'd want insinuated in your society and becoming a major feature of your economic system," Gaffney said.

"Shariah (Islamic law as dictated by the Koran) governs all aspects of life, from the personal practice of the faith to how you relate to your family to how you relate to your business partners, to your community ... all the way up to how the world is run, and it is all one seamless program. You can't say 'I'll take the personal pietistic practice ... and skip the beheading and the flogging and the stoning and the global theocracy,'" he said.

Punishments for some crimes under Shariah law include amputation and stoning to death. On Tuesday it was revealed that a 53-year-old Egyptian doctor had been sentenced under Shariah law in Saudi Arabia to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes for allegedly getting a Saudi princess in his care addicted to drugs.

But despite Islamic banking's association with Shariah's harsh practices, the U.S. government is taking an interest in it. On Oct. 25, while on an official visit to Saudi Arabia, Deputy Secretary of the Treasury Robert M. Kimmitt told reporters that the U.S. was interested in learning more about Islamic finance, and the Treasury Department held an "Islamic Finance 101" course in Washington on Nov. 6 to educate government officials on its ins and outs.

Islamic banking and investment products sprang up beginning in the 1970s when the Middle East experienced its first oil boom, and have been growing in popularity as oil prices soared in the past few years. Yet it's unclear who is investing in Shariah-compliant mutual funds and other investments, Gaffney said. "An awful lot of them seem to be petrodollar-rich potentates and companies and royal families."

Nicholas Kaiser, fund manager at Amana Mutual Funds Trust in Bellingham, Wash., said that his company's Shariah-compliant mutual fund products are no different from any other religious funds and that the company carefully screens its investors. "Our shareholders are American. We don't take money from non-Americans because of money-laundering laws. We have to know our shareholders and be sure they aren't engaged in nefarious activities. We screen and check and verify every shareholder," Kaiser said.

He disagrees with Gaffney's assertion that Islamic funds are a threat to the American way of life. "We simply take people's money, invest it and give it back to them when they want it. We don't try and convert the country. We don't have any religious position. We aren't evangelical. We aren't zealots. We're money managers," Kaiser said. "I happen to be Episcopalian."

Azzad Asset Management declined to be interviewed for this story. Estimates put the Islamic banking industry in the hundreds of billions of dollars. And while it's a small portion of the global finance industry, the Islamic sector is growing — by more than 30 percent in 2007.

A board of Shariah scholars determines which investments are compliant. As Shariah law forbids charging interest, Shariah-compliant mortgages, like those offered by Devon Bank in Chicago and Guidance Residential, which operates in 23 states, are attracting pious Muslim buyers. In one type of Shariah-compliant mortgage the bank buys a home and then either leases or re-sells it to the purchaser in monthly installments — interest-free, but at a higher price.

The bank's profit and the buyer's payments wind up being similiar to what they would be if the bank charged interest, said Ibrahim Warde, adjunct professor of international business at Tufts University. "In the Koran there's a verse saying that making money from trade is good and making money from money lending is not, so basically whenever transactions are structured, they are sales transactions," he said.

Rachel Ehrenfeld, director of the American Center for Democracy, said that whether they're sound investments or not, conforming to Shariah shouldn't be American policy. "We should not allow Islamic banking to continue and definitely not to flourish in this country," Ehrenfeld said.

"Muslims in the United States who want to conduct their business according to Islamic banks can do it with mortgages ... but to allow Islamic banking as a rule to operate — it's our money and we shouldn't be abiding by Islamic laws. Period. I don’t want to have any kind of association with any laws that dictate wife-beating in Saudi Arabia," she said.

Ehrenfeld said that the practice of "zakat" — giving alms to the poor — while innocent on the surface can in fact be used to promote terrorism and the spread of radical Islam. She said that that the money the Shariah banks give to charities goes to build madrassas and mosques and spread radical Islam and anti-American sentiment.

"They also send money to Hamas. They also send money to Al Qaeda," she said. "This is a huge Pandora's box. We don't know what the hell is going on with their charities ... even if nobody will say openly that they're giving money to terrorism."

In June, the Kuwait-based charity Revivial of Islamic Heritage Society was designated by the U.S. Treasury for providing money and material support to Al Qaeda, its affilitates and to acts of terrorism. "It is illegal for anyone in the United States to provide funds to charities that have been designated by the Treasury Department as supporters of terrorism under Executive Order 13224. If the Treasury Department has information that anyone in the United States were engaged in such activity, we would take appropriate action," said Treasury spokesman Andrew DeSouza.

Warde, however, said that there is no reason to think that all Islamic financial institutions have terrorist ties. "There are some people who equate all things Islamic to terrorism," he said. "Some people look at the world that way. We've seen that during the presidential campaign with the insinuations that Obama was a Muslim, therefore a terrorist. I don't think we should give much credence to that."

He said critics are not being fair to the system. "People who don't like Islam and who are afraid of Islam would obviously not like the notion of Islamic finance. I'm not sure that those who hold this view necessarily know much about it, but it's some kind of visceral view that some people hold," Warde said.

Chad Johnson Has Influences?

Chad Johnson: “Donovan [McNabb] was a big influence. [He] really is one of the reasons why I really turned myself around and looked at my situation as more of a positive outlook and just thinking about all the people that would love to play this game, you know? He took me in that direction, instead of thinking about, 'Oh, I'm tired of losing and I don't want to be here anymore,' but just thinking about, 'Man, a lot of people wish they were in your shoes just to have the ability to play in the NFL.' That kind of turned me around, and that's why I've been as positive as I have been this year, and even though we're losing, man, I've just been plugging away.”

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“I am sick of the economy, and now, American Express is asking the government for $3.5 billion. Here’s the weird part: They’ll only have to make monthly payments of $24.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Duck Swap

On Wednesday, Anaheim Ducks General Manager Brian Burke resigned. Vice President Bob Murray supplanted him. In 2006-2007, Anaheim won the Stanley Cup. Today, they are incoherent.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Trevor Hoffman?

According to the London Telegraph, President-Elect Obama loves comic books. His favorite? Change and Hobbes.

Today’s top five or Andy Warhol’s finest (1) Chairman Mao, (2) Marilyn Monroe, (3) Campbell’s Soup, (4) Mick Jagger, (5) Brillo

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“President Bush and Barack Obama had their big meeting yesterday at the White House. And they found that with all their differences, they have one thing in common: Neither trusts the Clintons.”

The Tonight Show

Tampa Brilliance… Past and Present

On Wednesday, Joe Maddon and Lou Piniella won American and National League Manager of the Year. Both triumphs were deserved.

NEW RULE

Scores are inalterable.

On Saturday afternoon, Alabama defeated LSU 27-21. On Saturday evening, Dennis and Donna Smith were murdered. They supported LSU. Their killer supported Alabama. Enough. Players alter contest’s results. Fans cannot. Violence is unforgivable.

Worth A Read

Art Market Blog

Nicholas Forrest relates his career.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be the Pickens Plan?

In Florida, John Samuel Ricci was arrested. His crime? He stole communion wafers. Since those lawsuits, priests are desperate.

Today’s top five or General Motors’ finest (1) Cadillac Escalade, (2) Chevrolet Cobalt, (3) Chevrolet Suburban, (4) Chevrolet Malibu, (5) Pontiac Grand Prix

Gargantuan Mess

Concerning General Motors resuscitation, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is receptive. Despite this, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 176.58 points.

If General Motors is revived, Chrysler and Ford will plead. With that stated, General Motors cannot collapse. America cannot afford this. President Bush, Congress, General Motors, and the United Auto Workers must compromise.

LaVar Arrington… Unfiltered & Unintelligent

LaVar Arrington: “I called Joe Gibbs a coward for leaving. You came in, you made some money for your NASCAR team. No one else is going to say that. I'm sure more people thought I was a [jerk] for saying that. Joe wouldn't call me because he knows. There are a lot of people who know the truth about what went down with me and the Redskins."

“I think Dan Snyder is scared to death of me. He won't look at me. I tried to shake his hand at [a] luncheon. He shook my hand and was like, 'How you doing, LaVar?' and kept moving. I'm probably the only person that's ever stood up to him and never backed down. I root for the Redskins because how I feel about the fans outweighs how the organization treated me. I always take pleasure in taking jabs at Dan because people like him need that. There's got to be a person out there who's not afraid to do it.”

Law & Opportunity

On Tuesday, the New York Jets signed Ty Law. Law inked a one-year contract. In the AFC East, the New England Patriots and Jets are even. In week two, the Patriots defeated the Jets 19-10. Clearly, New York craves an advantage.

Keith Olbermann… Empathetic & Exemplary

NEW RULE

Guns are irrelevant.

According to CNN and Fox News, gun sales have increased. The reason? President-Elect Obama will restrict gun ownership. Second Amendment supporters are asses. They should shut up. Economic crisis… Mortgage crisis… These are the priorities. Guns are unimportant. Yes, your precious amendment is unimportant.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren't you Democratic National Committee Chairman?

College basketball season has commenced. On Monday, Duke defeated Presbyterian 80-49. On Wednesday, Duke will oppose Lutheran. On Friday, they will oppose Catholic.

According to Jamal Lewis, the Cleveland Browns quit. Today, the Cleveland Browns issued this statement: What did you expect?

Peaceful Transition Commences

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Jay Cutler (QB – Broncos): 24/42, 447 yards, 3 td
(Win: 34-30 at Browns)

BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB – Patriots): 26 carries, 105 yards, 1 td
(Win: 20-10 vs. Bills)

Brandon Jacobs (RB – Giants): 22 carries, 126 yards, 2 td
(Win: 36-31 at Eagles)

Willis McGahee (RB – Ravens): 25 carries, 112 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-13 at Texans)

Adrian Peterson (RB – Vikings): 30 carries, 192 yards, 1 td
(Win: 28-27 vs. Packers)

Reggie Wayne (WR – Colts): 6 receptions, 114 yards, 1 td
(Win: 24-20 at Steelers)

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition)

Freddie Brown (WR – Utah): 9 receptions, 105 yards, 1 td
(Win: 13-10 vs. TCU)

Glen Coffee (RB – Alabama): 26 carries, 126 yards, 1 td
(Win: 27-21 at LSU)

Darren Evans (RB – Virginia Tech): 32 carries, 253 yards, 1 td
(Win: 23-13 vs. Maryland)

Shonn Greene (RB – Iowa): 28 carries, 117 yards, 2 td
(Win: 24-23 vs. Penn State)

Graham Harrell (QB – Texas Tech): 40/50, 456 yards, 6 td
(Win: 56-20 vs. Oklahoma State)

Matthew Stafford (QB – Georgia): 17/27, 376 yards, 3 td
(Win: 42-38 at Kentucky)

Vai Taua (RB – Nevada): 28 carries, 263 yards, 1 td
(Win: 41-28 at Fresno State)

Chris Wells (RB – Ohio State): 28 carries, 140 yards, 2 td
(Win: 45-10 at Northwestern)

Longoria, Soto: Rookies of the Year

On Monday, Evan Longoria and Geovany Soto won American and National League Rookie of the Year. Both triumphs were warranted.

Nuggets Nix McDyess

On Monday, the Denver Nuggets released Antonio McDyess. Once, McDyess was an explosive superstar. Today, he is another contributor. I hope someone acquires him.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“The controversy continues over Proposition Eight. A number of prominent gay Californians said that until gays are allowed to marry, they would not pay tax. They said the state doesn’t consider them full citizens, so they don’t have to pay tax. Today, Wesley Snipes said, ‘I’m Gay. I’m Gay.’”

The Tonight Show

Spencer, Whitney Personify Bicoastal

Despite their relative population, Los Angeles and New York City are polar opposites. Los Angeles is casual and glamorous. New York City is intense and sophisticated. In Los Angeles, simpletons can succeed. In New York, they never survive.

In New York, Lauren and Whitney worked the Buckler Fashion Show. Subsequently, they enjoyed drinks. Whitney entered with Alex. She exited with Jay. I am impressed and perplexed. Whitney appears genuine. She appears sincere. Who knew she was cold?

In Los Angeles, Spencer confronted Brent Bolthouse. Spencer inquired. He rationalized. Brent was uncomfortable. Moments subsequent, Heidi apologized. However, Brent was uninterested. He criticized Spencer. He stated the obvious. Heidi is the company she keeps.

NEW RULE

Strengths create strength.

Charlie Weis: “I'm trying to do this head coach thing where you kind of delegate. But I think that when there's a problem and it's an area where you believe that you can be part of the answer, I think you'd better go help. It comes down to X's and O's. To be honest with you, when it gets to that point, I think that's when we have the greatest advantage. I think when it comes down to X's and O's, if it comes down to everything being equal and it's X's and O's, I have to believe we're going to win most of the time. I have to believe that.”

Henceforth, Charlie Weis owns Notre Dame’s offense. Why did he not? Head coaches are overall. Coordinators are specialized. However, Warren Buffet comprehends capitalism. David Plouffe comprehends politics. Weis comprehends offense. Experts must enjoy their expertise.

Worth A Read

Roll Bama Roll

Blogging the Alabama Crimson Tide.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be the Republicans?

In Egypt, Omar Osama bin Laden was refused entrance. For Walmart, he remains under consideration.

Today’s top five or next potential loser (1) Texas Tech, (2) Utah, (3) Alabama, (4) Ball State, (5) Boise State

BCS: SEC, Big Twelve Govern

1. Alabama (10-0)
2. Texas Tech (10-0)
3. Texas (9-1)
4. Florida (8-1)
5. Oklahoma (9-1)
6. USC (8-1)
7. Utah (10-0)
8. Penn State (9-1)
9. Boise State (9-0)
10. Georgia (8-2)

Big Five & Hot Five

Line of the Morning

Representative Rahm Emanuel (D-IL)

“The challenges are big enough that there's going to be an ability for people of both parties, as well as independents, to contribute ideas to help meet the challenges on health care, energy, tax reform, education. That is the tone. That is the policy. And that is exactly how we're going to go forward.”