Blogger Relocation Program

Minneapolis 2008: Maverick’s Moment

On November 5, Americans have a choice. The choice is preferential. The choice is recurrent. One candidate is glossy, novel, and spectacular. One candidate is faded, mature, and reliable.

On Thursday, Senator John McCain addressed the Republican National Convention. His speech was effective. McCain is not an orator. His rhetoric will never amaze. His words will never impress. With that stated, McCain is authentic. His convictions are apparent and audible. His values are patriotic and precise.

McCain’s moments were atypical and expected. Concerning Republicans, he praised conservative principals. He scolded corruption and cronyism. Concerning policy, he excoriated earmarks. He extolled education. He promised energy independence and sliced taxes. Concerning his service, McCain evoked respect and tears.

Political analysis is collaborative. Opinions mold other’s opinions. Blogs, channels, and newspapers are surveyed. Said opinions are altered. Tonight, McCain’s reviews are tepid. Pundits are not thrilled. Fortunately, rhetoric and words are evaporate. Convictions and values resonate.

John McCain Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Poignantly, Ridge Represents Republicans

On Thursday, former Governor Tom Ridge addressed the Republican National Convention. His speech was satisfactory. Ridge did not gush. He was not glamorous. He was not ostentatious. He simply highlighted John McCain. Ridge personified eloquence and respect.

Tom Ridge Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Southern Hostility

On Thursday, Senator Lindsey Graham addressed the Republican National Convention. Graham’s speech was repugnant. His assault was malicious, offensive, rude. Sincerely, I admire Graham. However, he should apologize.

Lindsey Graham Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Cindy Conveys Compassion

On Thursday, Cindy McCain addressed the Republican National Convention. Her speech was adequate. While Michelle Obama has received hype, McCain is equal.

Cindy McCain Complete Text

Detroit Despot Departs

On Thursday, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick (D-Detroit) plead guilty. He received four months incarceration and five years probation. He was also fined $1 million. Following this adjudication, Kilpatrick resigned.

Concerning Kilpatrick, I cannot perjure. Kilpatrick is arrogant, pompous, and smug. He is a criminal. He is excrement. Kilpatrick embarrassed his race. He embarrassed his state. He embarrassed politics.

National Football League Predictions

American Football Conference

Eastern Division
1. New England Patriots (11-5)
2. New York Jets (10-6)
3. Miami Dolphins (6-10)
4. Buffalo Bills (6-10)

Northern Division
1. Cleveland Browns (11-5)
2. Cincinnati Bengals (10-6)
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7)
4. Baltimore Ravens (4-12)

Southern Division
1. Indianapolis Colts (13-3)
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6)
3. Tennessee Titans (8-8)
4. Houston Texans (6-10)

Western Division
1. San Diego Chargers (11-5)
2. Denver Broncos (7-9)
3. Kansas City Chiefs (7-9)
4. Oakland Raiders (4-12)

National Football Conference

Eastern Division
1. Dallas Cowboys (11-5)
2. Philadelphia Eagles (10-6)
3. New York Giants (7-9)
4. Washington Redskins (7-9)

Northern Division
1. Minnesota Vikings (8-8)
2. Green Bay Packers (8-8)
3. Detroit Lions (6-10)
4. Chicago Bears (5-11)

Southern Division
1. New Orleans Saints (12-4)
2. Carolina Panthers (10-6)
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8)
4. Atlanta Falcons (3-13)

Western Division
1. Arizona Cardinals (10-6)
2. Seattle Seahawks (9-7)
3. St. Louis Rams (5-11)
4. San Francisco 49ers (2-14)

American Football Conference

First Round
(6) New York Jets defeat (3) San Diego Chargers 28-27
(4) Cleveland Browns defeat (5) Cincinnati Bengals 35-34

Conference Semi-Finals
(1) Indianapolis Colts defeat (6) New York Jets 35-24
(2) New England Patriots defeat (4) Cleveland Browns 31-28

Conference Championship
(1) Indianapolis Colts defeat (2) New England Patriots 31-21

National Football Conference

First Round
(3) Arizona Cardinals defeat (6) Carolina Panthers 27-21
(5) Philadelphia Eagles defeat (4) Minnesota Vikings 35-13

Conference Semi-Finals
(1) New Orleans Saints defeat (5) Philadelphia Eagles 35-34
(2) Dallas Cowboys defeat (3) Arizona Cardinals 34-31

Conference Championship
(1) New Orleans Saints defeat (2) Dallas Cowboys 31-30

SUPER BOWL XLIII
(1) Indianapolis Colts defeat (1) New Orleans Saints 35-31

Plaxico Burress… New York’s Marquee

On Thursday, the New York Giants retained Plaxico Burress. Burress signed a 5-year, $35 million contract. “We always remained hopeful that it would get done before the season started,” said General Manager Jerry Reese. “It came down to the last few minutes and we're happy to get it done so we can move forward in our season. Plax is happy to get the contract done as well. It took a little longer than we expected it to take, but Plax was professional about it the whole time. We're excited and happy that it's over and we're ready to move forward into this new season.”

During his career, Burress has amassed 470 receptions, 7,391 yards, and 51 touchdowns. In 2007, he totaled 70 receptions, 1,025 yards, and 12 touchdowns. “He is a big-play threat for us on the field,” said Reese. “Plax opens things up for other people and he obviously can make big plays himself. Eli has all of his weapons intact and we expect them to pick up where they left off last season.”

Simply stated, New York’s decision was correct. Sans Burress, their offense would evaporate.

Calamitous Bungles

The Cincinnati Bengals will recognize Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. Cincinnati’s decision is incorrect. As previously stated, Johnson is poisonous and puerile. Cincinnati should not placate him.

Lauren, Whitney Negotiate Relationships

Boys and girls are incompatible. Seriously. Our contrasts are pronounced. Boys are aggressive, confrontational, and physical. Girls are analytical, manipulative, and vocal. Why couple these polar opposites?

On Monday, Lauren examined her relationship. Her inclination? Discard Doug. She consulted Brody and Stephanie. They agreed. With their advice, Lauren met Doug. She conveyed her choice. Doug was shocked. However, he acquiesced. The two shared laughter. Clearly, Doug was acceptable. He was not a boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Whitney visited New York. Amidst a People’s Revolution casting, she flirted with models. An evening was arranged. Subsequently, Whitney and a model enjoyed drinks. They appear perfect. Despite the miles, this relationship could succeed.

Retirement Indignation

Daunte Culpepper was a phenomenon. He possessed immense talent. He was physically impressive. His aerials were spectacular. His agility was superb. Culpepper’s excellence was preordained. Unfortunately, his knee collapsed. His career crumbled.

On Thursday, Culpepper retired. “After taking a long look at my career and my personal convictions, I have decided to begin early retirement from the NFL effective immediately. Since the beginning of training camp, I was told my opportunity would come when a quarterback gets hurt. I cannot remember the last time so many quarterbacks have been injured during the preseason. I have been strongly encouraged from family, friends and league personnel to continue to be patient and wait for an inevitable injury to one of the starting quarterbacks in the league.”

“I would rather shut the door to such 'opportunity' than continue to wait for one of my fellow quarterbacks to suffer a serious injury,” Culpepper continued. “Since I was not given a fair chance to come in and compete for a job, I would rather move on and win in other arenas of life.”

Prior to his injury, Culpepper started 80 contests. He completed 1,678 of 2,607 passes. He amassed 20,162 yards with 135 touchdowns and 86 interceptions. Post injury, Culpepper started only 10 contests. He completed only 189 of 320 passes. He amassed only 2,260 yards with seven touchdowns and eight interceptions.

Despite his ineptitude, Culpepper remains resentful. “When free agency began this year, I had a new sense of excitement about continuing to rebuild my career in the same way that I had rebuilt my knee after my catastrophic injury in 2005,” said Culpepper. “Unfortunately, what I found out was that the league did not share any of the optimism about me as an unrestricted free agent that I expected. In fact, there was an overwhelming sense that there was no room for me among this year's group of quarterbacks, whether in a starting, competing or a backup role. No matter what I did or said, there seemed to be a unified message from teams that I was not welcome to compete for one of the many jobs that were available at the quarterback position. It seems that the stance I took in both Minnesota and Miami regarding my rights as a person and player has followed me into free agency. The decision I made in 2006 to represent myself rather than hire an agent has been an invaluable experience. I now understand why so many people with the NFL community are uncomfortable with a player really learning the business.”

Last offseason, Culpepper was practical. He was reduced and scarred. Yet, his skills were sufficient. Culpepper could have shut up. He could have prolonged his career. Instead, he extracted Gandhi. He screamed slavery. Culpepper’s ego trumped employment.

A Request For Entourage

Please reunite Eric and Sloan. They are adorable. They are perfect. Both are sensitive. Both are sincere. Both are similar height. In "Entourage," glamour and pleasure are omnipresent. However, authenticity is required. Eric and Sloan were this. They were this program’s conscience.

Minneapolis 2008: Pit Bull Perfection

On Wednesday, Governor Sarah Palin addressed the Republican National Convention. Palin’s speech was spectacular. Her performance was sincere. Her rhetoric was superb. Amidst 2,995 words, Palin satisfied every role. She conveyed competence. She humanized herself. She recounted her record. She stimulated supporters.

Prior to her performance, Palin’s initiation was intense. Alaskan trooper scandal. Bristol Palin’s pregnancy. Cultural traditionalism. Women’s issues. Despite this clamor, Palin was unfazed. She accepted her mission. She skewered Barack Obama’s knowledge and vision.

For 131 hours and 30 minutes, Palin was excoriated, jeered, and ridiculed. Analysts and pundits scolded her selection. Palin was inexperienced. She was unqualified. Tonight, Palin shut up the masses. Dissection and scrutiny will occur. However, imagery is unambiguous. Republicans have triumphed.

Sarah Palin Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Rudy Provides Comic Ridicule

On Wednesday, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani addressed the Republican National Convention. During his speech, Giuliani mocked Barack Obama. Giuliani’s assault was entertaining. His assessment was excellent.

Rudy Giuliani Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Sunshine Shanks Democrats, Media

On Wednesday, former Governor Mike Huckabee addressed the Republican National Convention. Huckabee’s speech was exquisite. His performance was poignant. His words were wonderful. In American politics, Huckabee’s gift is coveted and unique. He can sear with a smile.

Mike Huckabee Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Romney Ignites

On Wednesday, former Governor Mitt Romney addressed the Republican National Convention. Romney’s speech was exemplary. His attacks scalded. His criticisms scorched. Clearly, Republicans are focused.

Mitt Romney Complete Text

Betting The Pass Line (Last Season: 45-46)

Jets (-3) at Dolphins
Brett Favre vs. Chad Pennington. Favor the Jets.

Buccaneers at Saints (-3)
In 2007, the Saints went 7-9. In 2008, they will reemerge.

Bengals (-1) at Ravens
Despite offseason drama, the Bengals will win.

Rams at Eagles (-7)
Last season, Donovan McNabb struggled. This season, he will sparkle.

Bears at Colts (-9 ½)
Kyle Orton? Zero offense? The Bears are a catastrophe.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 2-3)

Oregon State (+16) at Penn State
Simply stated, Penn State is overvalued.

West Virginia at East Carolina (+8)
Last week, East Carolina shocked Virginia Tech 27-22. On Saturday, they will stun West Virginia.

Miami-Florida at Florida (-21)
From 1998-2006, Miami recorded seven consecutive winning seasons. Clearly, they have worsened.

Texas Tech (-10 ½) at Nevada
For three quarters, Nevada will compete. In the fourth quarter, Texas Tech will ignite.

Stanford (+14) at Arizona State
Last season, Arizona State went 10-3. This season, Stanford are the Sun Devils.

Minneapolis 2008: Lingle Steals Spotlight

On Wednesday, Governor Linda Lingle addressed the Republican National Convention. Shockingly, Lingle’s speech was magnificent. She extolled Sarah Palin. She excoriated Joe Biden. In my opinion, Lingle has a future.

Linda Lingle Complete Text

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition)

Reggie Arnold (RB – Arkansas State): 21 carries, 145 yards
(Win: 18-14 at Texas A&M)

Donald Brown (RB – Connecticut): 23 carries, 146 yards, 4 td
(Win: 35-3 vs. Hofstra)

Chase Daniel (QB – Missouri): 26/45, 323 yards, 3 td
(Win: 52-42 vs. Illinois)

Joe Ganz (QB – Nebraska): 20/36, 345 yards, 4 td
(Win: 47-24 vs. Western Michigan)

Toby Gerhart (RB – Stanford): 19 carries, 147 yards, 2 td
(Win: 36-28 vs. Oregon State)

Max Hall (QB – BYU): 34/41, 486 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-17 vs. Northern Iowa)

Ryan Mathews (RB – Fresno State): 26 carries, 163 yards, 3 td
(Win: 24-7 at Rutgers)

Mark Sanchez (QB – USC): 26/35, 338 yards, 3 td
(Win: 52-7 at Virginia)

Charles Scott (RB – LSU): 16 carries, 160 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-13 vs. Appalachian State)

Shun White (RB – Navy): 19 carries, 348 yards, 3 td
(Win: 41-13 vs. Towson)

United States Offers Assistance, Assessment

From the United States, Georgia will receive $1 billion. Meanwhile, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice released this statement:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice: “The free world cannot allow the destiny of a small independent country to be determined by the aggression of a larger neighbor. Almost no one followed suit, I might note. It isn't really an impressive list to have Abkhazia and South Ossetia recognize each other.”

The Voice of Snoopy

Bill Melendez
(1916-2008)

Brett Favre, New York Jets Captain

Brett Favre: “I'm honored. I felt a little uncomfortable to be voted. I feel like I need to earn it. I don't want it to be based on past performances or longevity, whatever. All those things are important, but what's important is what I do here and how I carry myself as a teammate, what type of leader I am. But you have to vote a captain, as every team does, early in the year and I'm honored to represent this team.”

Coach Eric Mangini: “Obviously, he's fitting in well to be voted on by his peers to be a captain. I think the question of how he's adjusting, how he's fitting in with the guys has been clearly answered by the fact that his peer group -- I don't know how peer groups work with that age differential -- but the kids voted for him.”

TIME: Despite Resignation, Pakistan Remains Perilous

A failed assassination attempt on Pakistani Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani in the capital Islamabad highlights insecurity in the nuclear-armed country just three days before a presidential election will name Pervez Musharraf's successor. Pakistan has been rocked by a spate of violence that has seen hundreds die in suicide bombings and explosions over the past month. At the same time, speculation is stirring that Wednesday's seemingly spur-of-the-moment attack on Gilani's convoy may have been retaliation for a U.S.-led attack earlier in the day along the Afghan-Pakistan border. Previous military activity in the same area has ratcheted up tensions between the trio of uneasy allies in the war against terror.

Two gunmen fired on the prime minister's motorcade as it drove from the prime minister's residence in Islamabad to pick him up at the airport in nearby Rawalpindi. The prime minister was due back from a visit to Lahore. Two shots hit the driver's window, shattering the bulletproof glass of the black Mercedes but doing no further damage. Acting Interior ministry head Rehman Malik described the incident as "a cowardly act," at a televised press briefing in Karachi. "We will catch whoever has done it," he said. Pakistani Taliban spokesman Muslim Khan claimed responsibility, telling Agence France Press, "We will continue such attacks on government officials and installations."

The gunmen fired from a low hill overlooking the principal highway between the two cities. It is the only route that connects them, and has been the site of several other assassination attacks over the years. Assassins attempted to kill former president and general Pervez Musharraf on a different part of the route connecting the two cities back in 2003; former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's convoy was attacked nearby on December 27th, the day that Prime Minister candidate and Pakistan People's Party chair Benazir Bhutto was killed in a suicide blast at an election rally in Rawalpindi.

Within moments of today's attack, police with sniffer dogs swarmed the hill in search of evidence that would lead to the killer's identity. Three men have been detained for questioning, but the shooters have not been found so far. Information minister Sherry Rehman announced the launch of an investigation, telling local television that " those who had designs, have failed." It is not clear yet if there was a breach in security - the roadside should have been checked out by a security detail long before the prime minister passed by. The grassy hill is topped by a neon sign depicting Pakistan's founder, Mohammad Ali Jinnah, though it was unlikely that it was chosen for symbolic value, rather for line of sight. Nevertheless, the attack was apparently an amateur attempt, notable as much for incompetence as for the constant threat it suggests Pakistan's leaders are under.

Malik defended the prime minister's security detail, saying that "even in the U.S. there are assassination attempts against leaders." Bhutto's widower, Presidential candidate Asif Ali Zardari, moved from his private Islamabad residence to the prime minister's house last week because of security fears. The attempt comes just weeks after Pakistani Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud announced that his militants would target "every city" in Pakistan, in retaliation for a military crackdown on extremist groups in Pakistan's tribal areas along the border with Afghanistan. Nearly two weeks ago, two suicide bombers blew themselves up at the gate to a munitions factory not far from the capital, killing at least 63. Similar attacks, including one on a hospital in Peshawar, have claimed scores of lives.

The ad hoc and poorly-planned nature of today's attack has led some to speculate that it may be in retaliation for an early morning attack on a remote village in South Waziristan that killed 20 people, including women and children. Witnesses on the ground told the Associated Press that U.S. helicopter gunships had fired on the village, and that U.S. soldiers physically entered one of the houses. Military spokesman Maj. Murad Khan confirmed the attack, but would not say who was behind it. The U.S.-led coalition in Afghanistan said it had no report of activity in that area, though it is common in the case of cross border attacks launched by the U.S. that neither the American nor Pakistani government identify them as such, seeking to give Pakistan political coverage. The United States' rules of engagement in the region allow for "hot pursuit" across the border if militants fire upon foreign forces. In one such incident, 11 Pakistani soldiers died in June when U.S. aircraft bombed a border post. American troops on the Afghan side of the border claimed that militants were firing at them from the border post, and that they didn't know Pakistani troops were stationed there.

U.S. predator drones have also attacked high value targets in the tribal areas, most notably in 2006 when a missile aimed at Ayman al-Zawahiri killed 18 civilians in Damadola, a border village in Bajaur agency instead. Pakistan's foreign ministry released a statement calling the U.S. attack in South Waziristan "a gross violation of Pakistani territory" and said that it caused an "immense loss of civilian life" and that "Such actions are counter-productive and certainly do not help our joint efforts to fight terrorism. On the contrary, they undermine the very basis of cooperation and may fuel the fire of hatred and violence." Major General Athar Abbas, chief spokesman for the Pakistani military, blamed NATO-led American troops, saying, "We strongly object to the incursion of ISAF troops on Pakistani territory."

NEW RULE

Don Fowler: “That [Hurricane Gustav] just demonstrates that God is on our side.”

Obviously, Fowler is asinine. Unfortunately, Yahoo is equivalent. Their sin? Analyzing Hurricane Gustav’s advantages and disadvantages. Enough. God is apolitical. The bible is not a playbook. Additionally, sound is not substance. Hurricane Gutav. Bristol Palin’s pregnancy. John McCain’s backdrop. These are irrelevant. Yes, elections involve aesthetics. They involve character. However, issues merit answers. Problems warrant solutions.

Worth A Read

The Viking Age

Blogging the Minnesota Vikings.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be number one?

According to a poll, John McCain and Barack Obama trump George Bush and John Kerry. They are superior candidates. The United States Department of Obvious conducted this study.

Today’s top five or Republicans’ finest women (1) Sarah Palin, (2) Marsha Blackburn, (3) Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, (4) Kay Bailey Hutchison, (5) Shelley Moore Capito

Minneapolis 2008: Fred Thompson Returns

On Tuesday, former Senator Fred Thompson addressed the Republican National Convention. Thompson’s speech was spectacular. His performance was perfect. His words were superb. Simultaneously, Thompson celebrated John McCain. He criticized Barack Obama. His speech was a symphony. He illuminated every chord.

In 2004, Republicans utilized their convention. Their attacks were charring, effective, and precise. In 2008, Republicans require repetition…Three evenings of polished, platinum exactitude. Tonight, Thompson set the example.

Fred Thompson Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: Grandpa Lieberman Typifies Trust

On Tuesday, Senator Joe Lieberman addressed the Republican National Convention. Lieberman’s speech was stellar. His perspective was sensitive. His rhetoric was collegial and respectful. Akin to one’s grandfather, Lieberman was compassionate and engaging. As he spoke, one presumed trust.

Tonight, Lieberman approached the alienated and estranged. He approached the occasional voter. He approached the nonpartisan; who simply expects results. Certainly, Democrats abhorred tonight. I imagine they screamed. They should not. This evening, Lieberman represented their renounced character.

Joe Lieberman Complete Text

Minneapolis 2008: President, First Lady Applaud McCain

On Tuesday, President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush addressed the Republican National Convention. Despite imperfect performance and rhetoric, both accentuated their character. They extolled John McCain.

President Bush Complete Text

Russia Outrageous

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev: “For us, the present Georgian regime has collapsed. President Saakashvili no longer exists in our eyes. He is a political corpse. But we would like the international community to remember who began the aggression and who is responsible for people's deaths.”

Credible Assessment, Incredible Source

Lindsay Lohan: “I've been watching the news all morning, like everyone else — and I keep hearing about the issues related to `teen pregnancy.' ... Well, I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views… I think that parents need to recognize how important it is to talk to their children about the things that can result from being sexually active if they aren't protecting themselves.”

Another Three Lives Wasted

On Tuesday, eighteen-year-old Gerson Funes-Reina was charged with murder. Simultaneously, twenty-two year old Gregory Killion and eighteen year-old Daniel Filskov were charged with destructive device possession. Funes-Reina, Killion, and Filskov warrant severe punishment. When will everyone understand…Violence is unacceptable.

Minneapolis 2008: Belligerent Bachman Babbles

On Tuesday, Congresswoman Michelle Bachman addressed the Republican National Convention. Bachman’s speech was abysmal. Her attacks were ineffective. Her themes were scattered. Until November, Bachman should shut up.

Michelle Bachman Complete Text

Franchitti Fleas

On Tuesday, Dario Franchitti renounced his NASCAR employment. Instead, he chose IndyCar Racing. Franchitti should not receive criticism. He was not inadequate. His endeavor was inconclusive.

Hokie Hope

On Tuesday, Virginia Tech Coach Frank Beamer reversed his decision. Tyrod Taylor will not redshirt. Beamer’s reversal is correct. Virginia Tech’s offense is wretched.

Campbell Brown Torches Tucker Bounds

The Voice of Hollywood

Don LaFontaine
(1940-2008)

Saint Phelps

On Tuesday, Michael Phelps announced his foundation. He garners eight gold medals. He sets seven world records. He is charitable. Is Phelps perfect?

NEW RULE

Awareness is mandatory.

In the 2008 Olympics, Kirsty Coventry garnered one gold medal. She scored three silver medals. Last week, she received $100,000. Internationally, this is standard. Athletic excellence is compensated. In Zimbabwe, this is unacceptable. President Robert Mugabe is a fraudulent figurehead. He is a criminal and tyrant.

Coventry’s presence is repugnant. Her response is predictable. I am an athlete. Athletes are non-political. This is atrocious. Athletes posses prominence. They posses stature and status. Their opinion can alter circumstances. Their opinion can inspire citizens. Obviously, Muhammad Ali and Tommy Smith were exceptions. Coventry is not them. However, she must recognize the obvious. Athletes have power.

Worth A Read

Conservatism Today

Analysis, commentary, and news.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Hurricane Gustav?

In New York, Maurice Mizrahi was arrested. His crime? He robbed 87 parking meters. Barack Obama’s reaction? “Change he can believe in.”

In Georgia, fourteen-year-old Kacy Stuart cannot kick. According to the Georgia Football League, females are forbidden. Today, the Atlanta Falcons issued this statement: We need a kicker.

Glancing Blow

On Monday, Hurricane Gustav struck. Levees survived. Hallelujah!

Bristol Squibbs

On Monday, Bristol Palin announced her pregnancy. Palin is seventeen. Politically, this is irrelevant. Personally, I am irritated. In Alaska, condoms are sold.

Gossip Girl Gratifies

On Monday, Dan and Serena reunited. Perpetually, television craves convolution. Audiences are tantalized. Audiences are tortured. Couples are strained and wrenched. “Gossip Girl” refused. Instead, they reconciled obvious soul mates. I applaud them.

Former Bengals Pluck Paycheck

On Monday, the Detroit Lions signed Rudi Johnson. Simultaneously, the New England Patriots signed Deltha O’Neal. Simply stated, Detroit’s decision was correct. New England’s was incorrect.

NEW RULE

Parenting trumps prattle.

On Thursday, six-year-old Lilliana Williams-Rodriguez discovered a newborn. On Friday, Danield Collins received 18 months incarceration. His crime? With Collins’ assistance, his daughter murdered their cat.

Life commences when? Conception? Gestation? Birth? Americans argue this. We debate drivel. Why? Drivel is comfortable. Drivel is relaxing. Opinion requires research and veracity. Bullshit requires nothing.

Reality requires truth. Therefore, life is argued. Parenting is ignored. The truth? Parenting involves contraception. Parenting involves education, employment, and explanation. Difficult subjects. Inexact answers. Bullshit is simpler.

Worth A Read

Fashion Tribes

Blogging beauty and lifestyle.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you Georgia-Russia relations?

According to a study, fish oil reduces heart attacks. This is true. Every morning, John McCain consumes one gallon.

Today’s top five or most impressive USC performances (1) Mark Sanchez, (2) C.J. Gable, (3) Joe McKnight, (4) Ronald Johnson, (5) Damian Williams

Gustav Approaches, Republicans Relent

On Sunday, Republicans minimized their convention. President Bush and Vice President Cheney will not attend. Republicans’ decision is correct.

Meanwhile, Mayor Ray Nagin (D-New Orleans) ordered evacuations. New Orleans has our thoughts and prayers.

Russia Refuses Reconciliation

Allegedly, Georgians have been intimidated. Despite these accusations, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev released this statement:

Dmitry Medvedev: “Russia does not want confrontation with any country. Russia does not plan to isolate itself. Everyone should understand that if someone launches an aggressive sortie, he will receive a response.”

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

The Monetarily Departed

On Sunday, NFL cuts occurred. Below are unemployed notables:

Adam Archuleta (DB – Oakland Raiders)

Rocky Boiman (LB - Philadelphia Eagles)

John Lynch (DB – New England Patriots)

Deltha O’Neal (CB – Cincinnati Bengals)

Eugene Wilson (DB – Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

Line of the Morning

Senator John McCain (R-AZ)

“Governor Palin... she has had executive experience. She didn't sit in the state legislature… Senator Obama has never taken on the leaders of his party on any issue... She has been an independent spirit that has taken them on at every opportunity.”

Golden Gone?

On Saturday, the Arizona Cardinals chose a quarterback. Kurt Warner is their starter. Is Matt Leinart finished?

The Monetarily Departed

On Saturday, NFL cuts occurred. Below are unemployed notables:

Willie Anderson (OT – Cincinnati Bengals)

Joey Harrington (QB – Atlanta Falcons)

Rudi Johnson (RB – Cincinnati Bengals)

Ashley Lelie (WR – San Francisco 49ers)

Chris Simms (QB – Tampa Bay Buccaneers)