NEW RULE

Support the troops.

For every one hundred dollars, the Veterans Services Fund retains $97. The American Veterans Relief Foundation retains $84. These are charities. The United States military protects our nation. They are noble. They risk injury and death. These charlatans lied. The Veterans Services Fund and the American Veterans Relief Foundation dishonored our troops. They disparaged our nation. They warrant figurative castration.

Worth A Read

Petite Fashionista

Canadian Christa Jean discusses petites. Featuring tips, trends, and styles.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be the Rocket?

On Thursday, Jessica O'Donnell was charged with obtaining money under false pretenses. Allegedly, she mislead couples concerning surrogacy. She is the Anti Jolie.

According to ESPN, Baltimore Ravens Coach Brian Billick will be retained. President Bush supports this decision. His rationale? You cannot judge someone’s results.

Meaningless Mitchell Cannot Save Selig

Bud Selig is a failure. He facilitated the Steroid Era. He ignored drugs existence. He instigated drug utilization. He induced the ramifications. Sans Selig, Barry Bonds, Ken Caminiti, and Mark McGwire may have injected. However, Selig inspired their cult.

On Thursday, the George Mitchell Report was released. Four hundred and nine pages. Eighty-six players identified. The condemned included Rick Ankiel, Bonds, Kevin Brown, Paul Byrd, Roger Clemens, Paul Lo Duca, Lenny Dykstra, Eric Gagne, Troy Glaus, Jason Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jerry Hairston Jr., Todd Hundley, David Justice, Chuck Knoblauch, Gary Matthews Jr., Rafael Palmeiro, Andy Pettitte, Brian Roberts, Benito Santiago, Scott Schoeneweis, Gary Sheffield, Mike Stanton, Miguel Tejada, Mo Vaughn, Ron Villone, and Fernando Vina.

Despite the damnation, Selig verbally flexed. He also threatened punishment. “If there are problems, I wanted them revealed,” Selig said. “His report is a call to action, and I will act.”

Clemens registered eighty-two mentions. According to former New York Yankees Strength and Conditioning Coach Brian McNamee, Clemens received Deca-Durabolin, Sustanon, and Winstrol injections. Allegedly, his cheating was voluntary.

Clemens’ reaction was severe. “I have great respect for Senator Mitchell. I think an overall look at this problem in baseball was an excellent idea,” said Clemens’ Attorney Rusty Hardin. “But I respectfully suggest it is very unfair to include Roger's name in this report. He is left with no meaningful way to combat what he strongly contends are totally false allegations. He has not been charged with anything, he will not be charged with anything and yet he is being tried in the court of public opinion with no recourse. That is totally wrong. There has never been one shred of tangible evidence that he ever used these substances and yet he is being slandered today.”

Within his report, Mitchell advocated an independent testing program. He also encouraged increased testing randomness. He suggested public disclosure of discovered substances. “Everyone involved in baseball over the past two decades -- commissioners, club officials, the players' association and players -- shares to some extent the responsibility for the steroids era,” Mitchell said. “There was a collective failure to recognize the problem as it emerged and to deal with it early on.”

The Mitchell Report is laughable. The procedure was half-assed. The pronouncements are hollow. Concerning Clemens, I do not believe a word. Major League Baseball wanted salvation. They desired revelations. Instead, they traversed into Mitchell’s former realm. Character assassination.

Yahoo’s Dan Wetzel: F@&%ing Idiot

Year after year he peddled the same garbage, Roger Clemens was so dominant for so long because he simply outworked everyone. It played to the nation's Puritan roots, made Clemens out to be this everyman maximizing his skills through singular focus, dedication and a commitment to drinking carrot juice, or something.

It's all gone now, the legend of Rocket Roger dead on arrival of the Mitchell Report; one of the greatest pitchers of all time, his seven Cy Youngs and 354 career victories lost to history under a pile of lies and syringes.

Clemens was injected with performance-enhancing drugs and human growth hormones by his former trainer starting in 2000 and continuing many times through the years, trainer Brian McNamee told George Mitchell in great detail.

Baseball has its white Barry Bonds.

The sport has been waiting for the other shoe to drop on the 45-year-old Clemens for years. What he did defied not just age, but belief, and if there is one thing we know about commissioner Bud Selig's sorry era, it's that if something seems too good to be true, it is.

The smoking gun comes from McNamee, a former New York Yankees employee who used to work as a personal trainer for Clemens and his buddy Andy Pettitte, who is also cited in the report. McNamee is also a witness in a federal investigation and spoke to Mitchell and federal investigators under the penalty of perjury. The details are in Mitchell's 400-plus page, 20-month, $20 million report released Thursday afternoon.

Clemens refused to meet with Mitchell, according to the report. "In order to provide Clemens with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined," Mitchell wrote.

If McNamee is wrong and Mitchell ran with it anyway, then Clemens can sue the former Congressional leader, Major League Baseball and his drug-dealing former trainer for about a billion dollars.

This report, painstakingly investigated and detailed, may be a witch hunt to cleanse Selig's soul, but it isn't operated by fools. It’s extremely unlikely Mitchell and MLB would set itself up for such risk.

No matter what the defense that emerges, Clemens will struggle to ever win in the court of public opinion.

Which leaves baseball fans with the gut-punch reality that the generations' greatest hitter – Bonds – and greatest pitcher – Clemens – are nothing but drug-enhanced cautionary tales.

It is Clemens and his arrogance through the years that makes this one so distasteful. Just like Bonds, he relished in his greatness, seemed to mock all the other mortals who couldn't keep up with his workout regimens, his off-season drive, his freak of nature physical abilities.

He liked to convey that maybe anyone could do this, if they just were as tough as the Texas Con Man.

And just like Bonds, you have to wonder why it was ever necessary. Clemens was an all-time great back in the 1980s and early 1990s, when he was presumably clean. He had three Cy Youngs and a MVP by 1991, when he was just 28. He didn't need to cheat to become rich and famous.

Maybe it was ego, maybe jealousy, maybe insecurity. It hardly matters now that his deal with the devil just came painfully due.

There is a forgivable element to some of the other names. Baseball is a global game now, which is why there are too many factors involved – a chance to leave third-world poverty for cash-flush America – to ever end the lure of doping.

Clemens has no such excuse.

The only surprise here for anyone paying attention was that Mitchell actually caught him.

For years Bonds supporters have pointed the finger at Clemens as a sign of a media (and racial) double standard. Their guy was getting crucified daily, while Clemens was getting standing ovations and new contracts.

But until now there was never a credible link to performance-enhancing drugs. There were rumors, broad-based speculation and a tenuous mention in the Jason Grimsley affidavit. But Bonds was caught up in a federal investigation into BALCO, a prison term for Victor Conte and a mountain of other evidence.

Call it Clemens' good fortune, but there was only so much you could say. Not any longer.

Anyone who spent years spewing contempt at Bonds needs to do the same to Clemens, because there is no difference between them.

They are just two guys who had it all, foolishly went for more, and have now lost everything.

Welcome to America's pastime. Pass the peanuts and Cracker Jack.

Liberty City Seven Slither Away

On Thursday, the “Liberty City Seven” trial concluded. Six defendants received a mistrial. One was acquitted. The jury should be ashamed. They facilitated a massive miscarriage of justice.

Democrats Fumble Away Touchdown

On Thursday, the House passed intelligence legislation. The measure bans aggressive interrogation tactics. Unfortunately, an Israel air strike inquiry is also requested. Democrats are ridiculous. This bill merits passage. Unfortunately, the Israeli provision is asinine. Democrats, stop acting cute.

Politics As Clinton

On Thursday, Clinton Advisor Bill Shaheen resigned. Obviously, he was coerced. No one departs politics voluntarily.

Yahoo: Christmas Party Dating Tips

1. DO be impressed by the object of your affection. Rather than trying to impress him or her with all your stats. People notice when you notice them. No need to ask 20 questions, but do ask a few open-ended and specific questions (rather than 'yes'/'no' questions), make eye contact and listen. Curiosity is a very attractive quality and a simple way to engage your audience.

2. DO find common ground. What brought you to the party? Chances are you know some people in common in the room. This will help you build connection and trust. When asking the object of your interest questions, figure out some activities, hobbies, or experiences you've shared.

3. DO hang out by the food and drink table when you don't know who to talk to. Ever notice how people congregate in the kitchen at many house parties? Many people approach this area on their own to refill their cups and grab a bite, and it will be easier to start a conversation when they've stepped away from the other guests. Offer to get a drink for the object of your affection and if he or she is standing with a friend, extend the invitation.

4. DO see every person you meet as a potential connection. Stay open. Sometimes the people you know the least will help you the most. If you chat with someone interesting who is not single, he or she may know someone to introduce you to. Also, do not assume that the shy person in the corner at a party is boring. Take the opportunity to learn about people in the room before you decide if you are interested or not.

5. DO initiate conversation. The general rule of networking is to approach someone who is standing on his or her own or join a conversation with three or more people. In general, it's not a great idea to interrupt two people talking unless you know one. When approaching someone new, always remember to smile.

Dearly Departed: Orioles Trade Tejada

On Wednesday, the Baltimore Orioles traded Miguel Tejada to the Houston Astros. As reciprocation, the Orioles received pitchers Matt Albers, Troy Patton, and Dennis Sarfate, outfielder Luke Scott, and minor league third baseman Michael Costanzo. “That's one of the concepts behind, in this position, obtaining five players in exchange for one,” said Orioles General Manager Andy MacPhail. “Nobody knows for certain how these young players are going to evolve, but if you get five you start playing the percentages, quite honestly.”

During his career, Tejada has batted .287 with 258 home runs and 1,033 runs batted in. In 2007, he scraped .281 with 18 home runs and 81 runs batted in. “I feel very happy with this trade, because it's something that I've been really looking forward to,” Tejada said.

Once, Javier Lopez, Sammy Sosa, and Tejada epitomized Baltimore’s resurrection. Today, Lopez is unsigned. Sosa is irrelevant. Tejada has exited. Concerning the Orioles, this screams volumes. Concerning the departed, the screams are louder.

Rowand’s Cash Grab

On Wednesday, the San Francisco Giants signed Aaron Rowand. Rowand inked a 5-year, $60 million contract. According to Manager Bruce Bochy, Rowand is a leader. “I said I wanted to change the culture of the clubhouse and get back to the warrior mentality and play the game hard for nine innings,” Bochy said. “Aaron's the type of player who can do that. He's the type of player who can hold everyone accountable.”

During his career, Rowand has batted .286 with 93 home runs and 347 runs batted in. In 2007, Rowand swatted .309 with 27 home runs and 89 runs batted in. “Aaron's a guy who's won a Gold Glove and plays great defense in center field, and he had a great offensive year last year,” said Outfielder Randy Winn.

Today, marquee free agents are rare. The majority are overpaid. Rowand is not a superstar. He is not a cornerstone. However, he is not Gil Meche. Amidst this exorbitant era, Rowand’s windfall is explainable.

GOP USA: The Senator & Slugger

A decade ago, John McCain sat in Ted Williams' kitchen and listened raptly as the legendary slugger told a story that made him even more of a hero in the senator's eyes.

It was not about glory on the baseball field. Instead, they were two combat pilots talking.

Williams, a veteran of World War II and Korea, was telling the veteran of Vietnam about when his Marine jet was hit over North Korea and he chose to crash-land rather than eject and risk breaking his legs. He wanted, above all, to be able to play baseball again.

''The most fascinating few hours of my life,'' McCain says of that conversation. The GOP presidential contender told the story when The Associated Press asked him and other candidates to name a prized possession.

His answer: an autographed baseball from the Red Sox great, ''my childhood hero, a Marine pilot as well.''

In a striking coincidence, it turns out that treasure is not unique to McCain in the field of presidential hopefuls. When the AP asked other candidates the same question about their keepsakes, Democrat Bill Richardson said the same thing.

Richardson was 6 or 7 when his dad took him to Fenway Park to see the Red Sox play. Like countless kids pressing toward stadium titans, he came face to face with Williams and asked him to sign a ball. Williams did.

Richardson, now New Mexico governor, grew into a talented prep school and college pitcher with professional prospects before his life took other turns.

McCain visited Williams at his Florida home in the summer of 1997, when the towering and moody Hall of Famer was confined to a wheelchair. Esquire magazine arranged the meeting after McCain told editors he had admired Williams since he was little.

Williams went off to World War II after winning the American League's Triple Crown -- highest batting average, most homers, most runs batted in -- in 1942. He saw no combat. But the reserves called him to active duty in 1952 and he flew nearly 40 combat missions in Korea, not pleased to have his career interrupted again, but resigned to his duty.

In many missions, he was wingman for John Glenn, who would become the first American to orbit Earth and then a Democratic senator from Ohio.

''John Glenn said he was the best natural pilot he ever flew with,'' McCain recalled. One day, McCain said, ''Ted Williams was flying a combat mission, his plane gets shot up.

His plane is on fire ... and incredibly he lands wheels up at an air base, one of the most incredible feats of aviation skill.

''I said, 'Why didn't you eject?'''

Williams risked his life for his limbs. He told McCain about a metal bow stretched across the canopy, a barrier he figured his long frame would never clear. ''He said, 'And I looked at my knees and I knew that I was going to break both my knees if I ejected and never play baseball again,''' McCain recounted.

Surely few could appreciate that comment more than McCain.

In October 1967, McCain broke his arms and a knee when he ejected from his stricken Navy jet on his 23rd bombing mission in Vietnam, parachuting unconscious into a Hanoi lake. Barely surviving that ordeal, he then endured torture during five years as a POW.

In February 1953, Glenn was in the air when he saw Williams bring his burning F-9F Panther down. It skidded along the runway on its belly and stopped. ''I looked over my shoulder and saw this big, tall figure scrambling out of that cockpit,'' he wrote. ''I never saw a guy move that fast in all my life.''

Sportswriter Michael Barber witnessed the 1997 meeting in Williams' home and recalled the old man being wheeled into the room, roaring, ''Where is the next president of the United States?'' At the time, McCain's first presidential run was more than a gleam in his eye but decidedly formative.

The two swapped war stories, letting their lunch go cold, Barber wrote in the Bradenton (Fla.) Herald on the occasion of Williams' death five years later.

''McCain was just another awestruck American, marveling in the presence of a man whose splendid ability to excel at some of life's most challenging pursuits amazed us all,'' Barber wrote.

McCain had watched Williams at Griffith Park, home of the old Washington Senators, in his youth, and wanted to talk baseball as well as aviation. But the old man wanted to know about McCain's time in Vietnam. He autographed a baseball, describing the senator as a hero in the inscription. They became friends after that.

Yet when McCain ran for the GOP presidential nomination in 2000, Williams endorsed George W. Bush.

That seems not to have made McCain's baseball any less special. ''I will never forget that story that he told me,'' McCain told the AP. ''Yeah, so, baseball signed by Ted Williams, I think, is probably one of my most treasured possessions.''

NEW RULE

“The Good Life” deserves airplay.

Kanye West is an incredible artist. Unfortunately, radio will not play “The Good Life.” Why? I have no clue. Currently, the song is twentieth. Entourage featured the song. Yet, “Stronger” is constant. This is ridiculous. Seriously, which lyric is superior? “You can be my black Kate Moss tonight” or “Let's go on a living spree.”

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be the Democratic frontrunner?

According to her agent, Jessica Alba is pregnant. Those loud screams? They were Cash Warren’s libido.

Today’s top five or George Mitchell’s favorites (1) Barry Bonds, (2) Barry Bonds, (3) Barry Bonds, (4) Barry Bonds, (5) Barry Bonds.

Desperate Occasions Induce Diatribes & Back Peddling

Clinton Advisor Bill Shaheen: “It'll be, 'When was the last time? Did you [Barack Obama] ever give drugs to anyone? Did you sell them to anyone? There are so many openings for Republican dirty tricks. It's hard to overcome.”

Clinton Spokeswoman Kathleen Strand: “Senator Clinton is out every day talking about the issues that matter to the American people. These comments were not authorized or condoned by the campaign in any way.”

Clinton Advisor Bill Shaheen: “I deeply regret the comments I made today and they were not authorized by the campaign in any way.”

Obama Campaign Manager David Plouffe: “Hillary Clinton said attacking other Democrats is the fun part of this campaign, and now she's moved from Barack Obama's kindergarten years to his teenage years in an increasingly desperate effort to slow her slide in the polls. Senator Clinton's campaign is recycling old news that Barack Obama has been candid about in a book he wrote years ago, and he's talked about the lessons he's learned from these mistakes with young people all across the country. He plans on winning this campaign by focusing on the issues that actually matter to the American people.”

President Strikes

On Wednesday, President Bush vetoed an insurance expansion. Essentially, he rejected October’s bill. Democrats are ridiculous. Instead of compromising, they champion rerun legislation. Pathetic!

T.O. Scorches Keyshawn

Terrell Owens: “I challenge him to come down here and take my job. ESPN producers, let him go. I'm probably the reason he's in the booth now. He's going to be a hater and throw me under the bus because he has to defend Bill. He won a Super Bowl and all, but you'd have to check the roster to know he was even on the team. We came out in the same year. He was a first-rounder and I was a third. Go compare our stats. He couldn't come down here now and be a third or fourth receiver on this team. Just compare our stats.”

A King of Rhythm

Ike Turner
(1931-2007)

Jake & His Payday

On Wednesday, the San Diego Padres retained Jake Peavy. Peavy signed a 3-year, $52 million contract. This season, Peavy amassed a 19-6 record. He also registered a 2.54 earned run average. His extension was completely deserved.

Zen Masquerade

On Wednesday, the Los Angeles Lakers retained Coach Phil Jackson. Jackson signed a two-year contract. Since 2005, Jackson has logged a 99-85 ledger. He has won only five playoff contests. Obviously, he has nine rings. However, Jackson is not a genius. He won with talent. Not with managerial brilliance.

Deservedly, Falcons Ascend Thomas

On Wednesday, the Atlanta Falcons promoted Defensive Backs Coach Emmitt Thomas. I applaud the Falcons. Thomas deserved this opportunity. However, he is a temporary substitute. Atlanta’s next replacement must succeed.

Officially: Jones Disgraced

On Wednesday, Marion Jones’ medals were revoked. Additionally, she cannot even attend the 2008 Olympics. As previously stated, Jones actions were repugnant. She warranted condemnation. However, the International Olympic Committee was punitive.

NEW RULE

Rename the award.

On Tuesday, Tiger Woods garnered PGA Player of the Year. The triumph was his third consecutive and ninth overall. Woods owns the PGA. He has won thirteen major championships, sixty-one tournaments, and the lone Fed Ex Cup. The PGA should acknowledge the obvious. How? Simple. The Tiger Woods Award. Only he is eligible. Only he ever wins.

Worth A Read

Falcons Gab

Blogging the Atlanta Falcons. Excellent excoriation feature.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Atlanta Falcons Coach?

In England, McDonald’s customers have forty-five minutes. Slow eaters punishment? A $225 ticket. Have you had your break interrupted today?

According to a study, red meat causes lung cancer. Those loud screams? They were every American man.

Petrino: Atlanta to Arkansas Nonstop

On Monday, Atlanta Falcons Owner Arthur Blank praised Coach Bobby Petrino. “I feel real fortunate we have a terrific guy leading our team, our CEO, in Bobby Petrino,” Blank said. “I think he's proven to me he's a better head coach than we thought he was going to be, dealing with a set of cards we didn't see unfold this year, which probably never in the history of the NFL has anything like this happened. Bobby has done a wonderful job dealing with all of these issues. He's kept the players focused.”

On Tuesday afternoon, Petrino abruptly resigned. Six hours subsequent, Arkansas hired him. “Today was a day of decisions," Petrino said. “It was very difficult on one side and very easy on the other. ... The timing of it was what made it most difficult. It was easy to come to the University of Arkansas and become the head coach. I'm very excited to come back to the SEC conference which I consider the best football conference in the United States.”

Petrino’s tenure was tumultuous. On January 7, the Falcons hired him. On July 17, Michael Vick was indicted. On August 24, Vick was suspended indefinitely. On Monday evening, the New Orleans Saints defeated the Falcons 34-14. Upon Petrino’s resignation, Atlanta stood 3-10.

According to Cornerback DeAngelo Hall, Petrino hurt the Falcons. “He had ulterior motives,” Hall said. “He came to this great franchise for a stepping stool to where he wanted to be and that's a better college job. He came here, lied to a great man in Arthur Blank. He lied to Rich McKay .... it's Coach Petrino's loss.”

During his career, Petrino has amassed a 44-19 record. In Louisville, he racked a 41-9 resume. Conversely, Former Arkansas Coach Houston Nutt logged a 75-48 ledger. He garnered two SEC Western Division championships (0-2). He secured eight bowl appearances (2-5). Within the Southeastern Conference, Nutt amassed a 45-38 record.

Nutt and Petrino are similar. Both resigned. Within hours, both assumed new roles. The difference? Nutt was successful. Thus, future success is assumed. In Atlanta, Petrino was a disaster. He was overmatched. Ultimately, he may succeed. However, nothing is implicit.

Ben Speaks… Dow Crippled

On Tuesday, the Federal Reserve sliced the benchmark interest rate. However, they cut only a quarter point. The Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 294 points. Previously, they had risen 640 points. Chairman Ben Bernanke is unbelievable. Obviously, he favors a lackluster economy.

Contract Signed… Yet, He Protests

Les Miles: “I had a conversation with Michigan last week that covered a wide range of topics. I was doing nothing more than helping them with their search for a football coach, just as any loyal alumnus might do. It was nothing more than that. I'm not a candidate for that job and I will not be a candidate for the job. I was only assisting them in their search for a coach. I have a great job at a wonderful place, a place that my family calls home. It's time that Michigan goes on with their search for a football coach. I'll say it again, I'm going to be the coach at LSU next season.”

NEW RULE

Lauren Conrad is not perfect.

On Sunday, “The Hills: Lauren Looks Back” premiered. Allegedly, the production was a two-hour movie. Nope. The endeavor was clips and voiceover. No one scream documentary. Documentaries induce thought. Documentaries include analysis and insight. This featured one sentence per twenty minutes. Lauren Conrad should disown this film. If she desired a movie, MTV should have produced one.

Ryan White’s Mother Hammers Huckabee

Jeanne White-Ginder: “It's very important to me that we don't live in the darkness. We have to treat this disease like a disease, and like Ryan always said, not like a dirty word.”

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you fruit flies used to be gay, straight, gay, straight?

In England, Andrew Ogden played chicken. His opponent? A speeding train. Fox’s reality television. Unbelievable!

Today’s top five or best bowls (1) All State BCS National Championship, (2) Capitol One Bowl, (3) Cotton Bowl, (4) Holiday Bowl, (5) Music City Bowl

Vick’s Sentence: 23 Months

According to United States statistics, one per one-hundred thirty-six residents is incarcerated. 10.4% of African-Americans are imprisoned. Conversely, the NFL has thirty-two quarterbacks. Ten were first round selections. Only three were chosen number one.

On Monday, Michael Vick received twenty-three months incarceration. “This is a tragedy in the life of this young man,” said Vick’s Attorney Billy Martin. “Michael has fallen so hard, so far, so fast. He has been punished for his mistake. I am willing to say when Michael gets a second chance either in society or in the NFL he will take advantage of it. Now, let's close this chapter of his life and . . . prepare to start another one.”

Despite Vick’s numerous apologies, Judge Henry Hudson was unconvinced. “I'm not convinced you've fully accepted responsibility. You were instrumental in promoting, funding and facilitating this cruel and inhumane sporting activity. You need to apologize to the millions of young people who looked up to you.”

Surprisingly, Owner Arthur Blank’s reaction was merciful. “This is a difficult day for Michael's family and for a lot of us, including many of our players and fans who have been emotionally invested in Michael over the years. We sincerely hope that Michael will use this time to continue to focus his efforts on making positive changes in his life, and we wish him well in that regard. If the question is whether can I see a set of circumstances in which Michael [comes back to the team], the answer is yes. That being the case, we're moving forward as if he will not be back. I have learned you never say never but we're planning as if he will not be here. We are resolved to get this franchise on the rebound and become one of the most successful in the NFL.”

On July 17, Vick, as well as associates Purnell Peace, Quanis Phillips, and Tony Taylor were charged with competitive dog fighting. On July 26, Vick plead not guilty. On July 27, Taylor plead guilty. On August 17, Peace and Phillips plead guilty. On August 24, Vick acquiesced. He negotiated his guilt. He was suspended indefinitely.

According to United States Humane Society President Wayne Pacelle, Vick’s punishment was appropriate. “Michael Vick committed a reckless and unconscionable crime, and the sentence meted out today is fitting and appropriate,” Wayne Pacelle said. “We hope that anyone participating in the sordid activity realizes that dogfighting is a dead end and no good can come from it.”

Sadly, Vick remains oblivious. Martin’s statements included “mistake,” “bad judgment,” and “learning experience.” Vick committed a crime. He did not commit a mistake. He did not exercise bad judgment. Incarceration is not a learning experience. Vick was special. He was exceptional. However, he is now common. He is a simple prisoner… oblivious and ordinary.

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Plaxico Burress (WR – Giants): 7 receptions, 136 yards, 1 td
(Win: 16-13 at Eagles)

Tom Brady (QB – Patriots): 32/46, 399 yards, 4 td
(Win: 34-13 vs. Steelers)

Jabar Gaffney (WR – Patriots): 7 receptions, 122 yards, 1 td
(Win: 34-13 vs. Steelers)

Anthony Gonzalez (WR – Colts): 6 receptions, 134 yards, 2 td
(Win: 44-20 at Ravens)

Ryan Grant (RB – Packers): 29 carries, 156 yards, 1 td
(Win: 38-7 vs. Raiders)

David Patten (WR – Saints): 9 receptions, 122 yards, 1 td
(Win: 34-14 at Falcons)

Randy Moss (WR – Patriots): 7 receptions, 135 yards, 2 td
(Win: 34-13 vs. Steelers)

Fred Taylor (RB – Jaguars): 18 carries, 132 yards, 1 td
(Win: 37-6 vs. Panthers)

LaDainian Tomlinson (RB – Chargers): 26 carries, 146 yards, 1 td
(Win: 23-17 at Titans)

Jason Witten (TE – Cowboys): 15 receptions, 138 yards, 1 td
(Win: 28-27 at Lions)

Seminole What?

On Monday, Florida State retained Coach Bobby Bowden. Simultaneously, Offensive Coordinator Jimbo Fisher was named “head coach in waiting.” Florida State’s decision is bizarre. Credibility is critical. However, hastiness was unnecessary. Florida State could have waited. Eventually, Fisher could have been promoted. Instead, he has been neutered.

As Hills Concludes, Clashes Escalate

Confrontation is unwelcome. Confrontation is disruptive, divisive, and repugnant. Unfortunately, confrontation is constant. Confrontation occurs daily. Amidst every venue, every conversation and situation is a potential confrontation.

On November 26, Brody, Lauren, Justin, Audrina, and Frankie enjoyed drinks. Justin kissed another woman. Audrina witnessed the cheating. They argued. He begged. She cried. She concluded their relationship. I applaud Audrina. Justin is a letch. He is vile. Audrina is gorgeous. She never should have dated him.

Prior to the kiss, Stephanie Pratt (Spencer’s sister) confronted Lauren. Stephanie condemned Lauren’s attitude. Brody excoriated Stephanie. Simply stated, Spencer’s sister is nauseating. She is pathetic. Her outrage was unnecessary.

On December 3, Heidi and Stephanie discussed wedding postponement. Naturally, Stephanie told Spencer. Spencer confronted Heidi. They clashed. Heidi criticized Spencer. He stormed away. This was predictable. As previously stated, Heidi and Spencer are a dysfunctional couple. They would be a dysfunctional couple.

Brody and Lauren enjoyed dinner. They considered a relationship. Sadly, Lauren requested Brody’s phone. A phone which included Alex, Aubrey, and Britney Canada whore. Once again, Brody and Lauren are great friends. However, they should not date.

The Second Thousand

During our second thousand, Republican and Democratic Presidential Candidates campaigned. States swapped primaries. Myanmar strangled Democracy. Pakistan declared Emergency Rule. Barry Bonds, Norman Hsu, Marion Jones, Pacman Jones, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Michael Vick owned the headlines.

Al Gore garnered the Nobel Prize. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visited New York. Gernarlow Wilson was freed. The Writers Guild of America struck. The Dow exceeded 14,000. Norman Hsu was arrested. Owen Wilson attempted suicide. Dog the Bounty Hunter slurred African-Americans. Benazir Bhutto, Don Imus, Tank Johnson, and Tom Osborne returned. Larry Craig, Dennis Franchione, Alberto Gonzalez, Karl Rove, and John Schuerholz resigned. Lloyd Carr, Martina Hingis, Eric Lindros, Curtis Martin, the Orange Bowl, and the Republican Party retired.

California burned. Bernard Kerik was indicted. Tim Donaghy and O.J. Simpson plead guilty. Garrett and Britt Reid, Nicole Ritchie, Warren Jeffs received incarceration. The New England Patriots cheated. Rodney Harrison was suspended. The Boston Celtics acquired Kevin Garnett. Drew Carey supplanted Bob Barker.

Appalachian State defeated Michigan. College Football exploded. Padraig Harrington and Tiger Woods garnered major championships. The Boston Red Sox, Jimmie Johnson, and Kelly Pavlik scored titles. Kyle Busch, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Sam Hornish exchanged owners. Martin Brodeur and Alex Rodriguez registered 500. Tom Glavine amassed 300. Joe Torre rejected the New York Yankees. He embraced the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Joey Bishop, Michael Deaver, Merv Griffin, Leona Helmsley, Deborah Kerr, Evil Knievel, Norman Mailer, Max McGee, Tammy Faye Messner, Luciano Pavarotti, Skip Prosser, Phil Rizzuto, Tom Snyder, Sean Taylor, Paul Tibbets, Porter Wagoner, Bill Walsh, and Jane Wyman died.

During our next thousand…

Seeing the White: Supreme Court Respects Thought

On Monday, the United States Supreme Court embraced judicial discretion. According to the 7-2 majority, judges may reject cocaine sentencing guidelines. Traditionally, crack cocaine sentences have dwarfed powder cocaine sentences.

The Supreme Court’s decision is correct. Cocaine users are white (70%). Crack users are black (85%). Simply stated, sentencing guidelines are racist. They do not eliminate crime. They merely patronize the problem.

NEW RULE

Attending college requires a brain.

On Halloween, two Penn State students attended a party. Their costumes? Virginia Tech shirts with bloodstains and bullet holes. These students warrant expulsion. A massacre is not humorous. Twenty-eight victims are not comical. Virginia Tech was a tragedy. Assuming one has a cortex, this is obvious.

Yahoo Evaluates Winter Meetings

Winners

Detroit Tigers: Even with the Red Sox returning everyone from their dominant championship team and the Yankees determined to spend the GDP of Qatar and the Los Angeles Angels even better than last year and the Cleveland Indians a brutal challenger in their own division – which is to say, against all good judgment – the Tigers are going for it now after mortgaging their farm system for the implacable Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. Give general manager Dave Dombrowski credit: He wants to win and wants to win now, and he might maneuver better than anyone in the game to make that happen.

Jose Guillen: OK, kids, here's your lesson for the day. Brood and be moody, blow up at your former manager, snitch on your ex-teammate for using an illegal substance in his glove while you're allegedly pumping your body full of human growth hormone and emerge from that Gomorrah with a three-year, $36 million contract from the Kansas City Royals. Ah, right-handed power. The next-best thing to throwing left-handed. So he's been hit with a 15-day suspension by MLB to begin next season. There will still be at least 147 games to play, and doesn't every employee need two weeks off once in a while?

Flirtation and indecision: So, like, did you see Bill Smith down the hallway? Oh, I know, he's Minnesota's new GM, and he's got the hottest guy! Isn't Johan Santana the best? I totally want to ask Bill if I can get him. And I have plenty to offer … but I don't want to give away too much. No, I'm a little cautious. But, well, Johan is just so good, and … oh, Bill wants everything, huh? Listen here. I'm not that kind of trade partner. Except this is Johan, and …

Boston Red Sox: For constructing an ideal situation more than anything they did this week. Unlike the other teams involved with the Santana talks, the Red Sox can consummate the deal without drastically altering the look of their team. Santana replaces Jon Lester in the rotation. Coco Crisp is a backup, and Justin Masterson and Jed Lowrie, solid prospects, probably would have started the season at Triple-A. If the Yankees made the deal, they would need to put the increasingly immobile Johnny Damon in center. With Seattle, Adam Jones' outfield position would sit empty.

Japanese free agents: As the rest of the market stagnated, the price on right-hander Hiroki Kuroda and outfielder Kosuke Fukudome rose. Kuroda, who turns 33 before opening day, will fetch at least $44 million – he'll get that over four years from the Seattle Mariners if they miss out on Santana – and after he completes a tour of Seattle, Los Angeles and Phoenix next week, it could jump to $50 million. The deep-pocketed Chicago Cubs covet Fukudome, though they've got plenty of competition from the San Diego Padres, among others, so $12 million a year isn't too far-fetched.

Tampa Bay Rays: The Elijah Dukes Experiment, which went about as well as metal in a microwave, is finally over, and GM Andrew Friedman even managed to procure a decent prospect from Washington in the trade. For too long, the Rays tolerated Dukes' sociopathic behavior because his talent. His Crazy Factor – the formula for which is DTTW+JPD/BA (death threats toward wife plus joints per day divided by batting average) – finally spiked too high even for their liking, though, and somehow they found a willing buyer in the Nationals. This is six months late, yes, but better than never.

Baltimore Orioles: With a big caveat – so long as someone can take owner Peter Angelos somewhere to hibernate for the month. New GM Andy MacPhail needs room to maneuver, and he laid the groundwork this week with intense talks centering around star left-hander Erik Bedard, plus peripheral talks about infielders Miguel Tejada and Brian Roberts. The Orioles are moribund, likely the AL's worst team, and MacPhail must start rebuilding now

Los Angeles Dodgers: Bravo, Ned Colletti, for the Andruw Jones signing. It solidifies the Dodgers in center field, puts a big bat into their lineup and does so with committing only two years (albeit averaging $18.1 million apiece). More important, it clears impediments if they do decide to package prospects for the starting pitcher they so desperately need. Perhaps this was the move to get the trade and free-agent markets rolling.

Losers

Florida Marlins: Not from a baseball-operations perspective. Landing a pair of prospects the caliber of Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller is a coup no matter who you surrender, and the Marlins' evaluation skills lead you to believe at least one of the other four players in the Cabrera-Willis trade will pan out. On the other hand, the way Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has stripped down the team like a crooked chop-shop operator is embarrassing – for baseball, which allows it, more than for Loria, that farce, who lost his shame long ago.

Minnesota Twins: This could change, if Smith's posturing yields an increased offer from the Red Sox or a reemergence from the Yankees. Otherwise, every day the Twins' new GM holds out marks another day for his potential partners to reconsider their offers. Already the suitor with the best available individual – the Yankees and Phil Hughes – dropped out of the bidding. Though the permanence of that decision is dubious, the question remains: How much longer can the Twins wait until Santana's value drops?

Jim Bowden: The most dangerous qualities a baseball player can exhibit simultaneously are ability and disappointment. Because more than anything, people around baseball love to fix things. They love to believe they can fix that flat curveball, and that they can find the hitch in that long swing, and, in Bowden's case, that they can turn a monster into a mite. Elijah Dukes needs a coterie of good doctors, not the Washington Nationals' GM trying to rescue him. If there's an upside, it's that Lastings Milledge will look like a choir boy in comparison.

Hank Steinbrenner: Well, he's a Steinbrenner. There's no question about that. In his first two months as the public face of the Yankees, he stared down Scott Boras and won, essentially canned Joe Torre and endeared himself to 12-year-old boys everywhere by declaring his favorite actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. This week, though, Steinbrenner's deadline on the Santana deal took the Yankees out of the bidding. Perhaps, in the long run, it's what's best for the franchise, and if so, he has done his job as owner. And yet there's a lingering feeling that Steinbrenner's tactics, brusque as they are, will begin to define him the same way they did his father, and that's not always a good thing.

Scott Boras: Ubiquity is Boras' forte, so to troll the Opryland lobby for three days without a showing of the emperor shocked and awed. Apparently, he did take a quick poke around on the third day, perhaps just to show he was still around, and struck an early-morning deal Thursday for Andruw Jones. Of course, Boras intimated that Jones should get $100 million, and he ended up settling for $36.2 million over two years, which marks three consecutive disappointments after the Alex Rodriguez debacle and Kenny Rogers firing. Hey, he's still got Kyle Lohse!

National Baseball Hall of Fame: The museum, a must-see for anyone who loves the game, usually gets it right. The continuous overhaul of the Veterans Committee, however, left the Hall open to a pair of abysmal decisions this week: the inclusion of former commissioner Bowie Kuhn and exclusion of Marvin Miller, perhaps the game's most influential person in the last 35 years. That Miller didn't get in was no surprise; the selection committee, comprised mostly of management, saw Miller as an adversary, and some even an enemy. But for him to have received only three of 12 votes is shameful and an indication that the voting process needs at least one more overhaul so it can right the wrong that was done Monday.

Worth A Read

State of Ohio Blogger Alliance

Ohio’s conservative gateway. Featuring fifty-seven participants.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Ricky Hatton?

This Weekend, Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey campaigned. He discussed politics. She recommended his book.

Today’s top five or important New Year’s events (1) All State BCS National Championship, (2) Fiesta Bowl, (3) Orange Bowl, (4) Rose Bowl, (5) Iowa Caucuses

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Huckabee’s Choice: Investigate or Isolate AIDS

Mike Huckabee 1992: “If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague. It is difficult to understand the public policy towards AIDS. It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population, and in which this deadly disease for which there is no cure is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents. I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.”

Mike Huckabee 2007: “My administration will be the first to have an overarching strategy for dealing with HIV and AIDS here in the United States, with a partnership between the public and private sectors that will provide necessary financing and a realistic path toward our goals.”

The Best Amidst Brightness

On Saturday, Tim Tebow garnered the Heisman Trophy. Tebow, the accolade’s lone sophomore recipient, registered 1,957 points (462 first place votes). Darren McFadden recorded 1,703 points (291 first place votes). Colt Brennan racked 632 points (54 first place votes). Chase Daniel received 425 points (25 first place votes).

In 2007, Tebow completed 217 of 317 passes for 3,132 yards and 29 touchdowns. He also amassed 194 carries for 838 yards and 22 touchdowns. Upon receiving his reward, Tebow was humble. “I am fortunate, fortunate for a lot of things,” Tebow said. “God truly blessed me and this just adds on. It's an honor.”

This season, dominance was absent. Yet, greatness was recognizable. Auburn, LSU, and Georgia defeated Florida. However, Tebow was not responsible. This is his legacy. He is not a defining force. He was simply the greatest individual talent.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 32-28)

Giants at Eagles (-3)
In week four, the Giants dominated the Eagles 16-3. On Sunday, the Eagles will score revenge.

Buccaneers (-2 ½) at Texans
Since November 4, the Buccaneers are 4-0. Officially, I respect them.

Cowboys (-10) at Lions
Last season, Jon Kitna berated the Cowboys. Preseason, he overrated the Lions. On Sunday, both assessments will haunt him.

Steelers at Patriots (-10 ½)
This season, the Patriots have defeated the Chargers, Cowboys, Browns, Colts, and Redskins. Simply stated, they own the prime contests.

Saints (-4) at Falcons
Falcons Quarterback Chris Redman? Seriously? Favor the Saints.

Line of the Morning

Senator Joe Biden (D-DE)

“There is no such thing as a surgical strike against Iran’s nuclear ambitions if they continue.”

The Big Five (12/2)

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five (12/2)

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.