George Halas Award (NFL’s Best Head Coach)

Mike McCarthy
(Green Bay Packers)

Roger Staubauch Award (NFL MVP)

Brett Favre
(Green Bay Packers)

GAME BALLS AWARD (NFL Edition)

Tom Brady (WR – New England Patriots)
Randy Moss (WR – New England Patriots)

(Eight Each)

NFL Playoff Predictions

American Football Conference

First Round
(3) San Diego Chargers defeat (6) Tennessee Titans 34-7
(5) Jacksonville Jaguars defeat (4) Pittsburgh Steelers 24-21

Conference Semi-Finals
(1) New England Patriots defeat (5) Jacksonville Jaguars 42-10
(2) Indianapolis Colts defeat (3) San Diego Chargers 27-21

AFC Championship Game
(1) New England Patriots defeat (2) Indianapolis Colts 20-17

National Football Conference

First Round
(6) Washington Redskins defeat (3) Seattle Seahawks 23-20
(4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeat (5) New York Giants 31-14

Conference Semi-Finals
(1) Dallas Cowboys defeat (6) Washington Redskins 28-24
(2) Green Bay Packers defeat (4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24-7

NFC Championship Game
(2) Green Bay Packers defeat (1) Dallas Cowboys 35-31

SUPER BOWL XLII
(1) New England Patriots defeat (2) Green Bay Packers 51-17

Joe Montana Award (NFL’s Best Quarterback)

Tom Brady
(New England Patriots)

Walter Payton Award (NFL’s Best Running back)

Adrian Peterson
(Minnesota Vikings)

Steve Largent Award (NFL’s Best Wide Receiver)

Randy Moss
(New England Patriots)

Anthony Munoz Award (NFL’s Best Offensive Lineman)

Flozell Adams
(Dallas Cowboys)

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 13-15)

Fed Ex Orange Bowl
Kansas vs. Virginia Tech (-3 ½)
Both Quarterbacks are spectacular. Given the aforesaid, the Hokies win with defense.

Richard Dent Award (NFL’s Best Defensive Lineman)

Osi Umenyiora
(New York Giants)

Ray Nitschke Award (NFL’s Best Linebacker)

Mike Vrabel
(New England Patriots)

Michael Haynes Award (NFL’s Best Defensive Back)

Asante Samuel
(New England Patriots)

West Virginia Grasps Stewart

On Thursday, West Virginia hired Interim Coach Bill Stewart. Last night, West Virginia defeated Oklahoma 48-28. “He obtained this position the old fashioned way -- he earned it,” said Athletic Director Ed Pastilong. “Billy led us to our biggest football victory in the school's history against Oklahoma. And he, his coaching staff and his support staff are outstanding Mountaineers, leading us through a tough time. Our future is bright, and we look forward to even more success under Coach Stewart's leadership.”

Stewart is a reactionary choice. The blind, ecstatic, and irrational selected him. Options may have been limited. However, West Virginia rushed. They chose with their hearts. Was a superior alternative available? I do not know. With that sated, Stewart’s selection was stupid.

Morten Anderson Award (NFL’s Best Place Kicker)

Rob Bironas
(Tennessee Titans)

Ray Guy Award (NFL’s Best Punter)

Mat McBriar
(Dallas Cowboys)

Pakistan Punts

On Wednesday, Pakistan postponed their parliamentary elections. Their vote will now occur February 18. Pakistan’s decision is correct. Benazir Bhutto’s murder was traumatic. Pakistan should pause. They should investigate, mourn, and recover. With that stated, President Pervez Musharraf must act appropriately. He must not stifle democracy. He must not restore totalitarianism.

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 13-14)

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
West Virginia vs. Oklahoma (-7 ½)
In the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, Boise State defeated Oklahoma 43-42. On Wednesday, Oklahoma will avenge this embarrassment.

Kenya… Start Talking

Since Kenya’s Presidential election, 270 have been murdered. The violence has included machetes, sticks, and tear gas. The opposing candidates will not meet. Concerning President Mwai Kibaki’s legitimacy, I will not comment. I will state the obvious. Dialogue must commence. Otherwise, violence will continue. This is unacceptable.

San Diego Stupidity Continues

On New Year’s Day, the San Diego Chargers retained General Manager A.J. Smith. Smith signed a 5-year, $11 million contract. Smith is an ass. He estranged Marty Schottenheimer. The aforesaid was stupid. Last season, the Chargers went 14-2. This season, they are 11-5. The Chargers worsened. Smith deserves a reward? He warrants a public flogging. Lamentably, the Chargers disagree.

Brian Billick: Greatness Assumed, Firing Necessary

Brian Billick is arrogant. Billick is egotistical. He is opinionated, pompous, and self-important. His decisions are correct. His opinions are exact. Reality aside. Do I hate Billick? Concerning Billick, I am apathetic. I am merely stating the obvious. Billick is a preening schmo. Despite substantial evidence, he has never been wrong.

On New Year’s Eve, the Baltimore Ravens fired Billick. According to Owner Steve Bisciotti, the termination was justified. “I believed that it was time for a change, I believed that we have the nucleus of a team that can get back to the Super Bowl, and we felt that in the next five years we had a better chance with a new coach than leaving Brian in that position," said Bisciotti. “It's a gut feeling. I have one job here, and that's to have a leader that I think gives us the best chance. We have been losing more than winning lately.”

During his career, Billick amassed an 80-64 record. He won Super Bowl XXXV. He accrued two division titles. He secured four playoff appearances. Ultimately, Bisciotti fired him. However, the owner respects Billick. “How much blame you put on different people, and how much you hold yourself responsible is new to me,” he said. “I hope that over time that Baltimore views me as [good] an owner as Brian Billick was a head football coach. I've got some catching up to do to the man that I asked to step down today. The jury's out on me. Brian's already got his Super Bowl.”

Bisciotti’s decision is correct. Since 2004, the Ravens are 33-33. They are disintegrating. They are underachieving. Billick was responsible. He warranted dismissal. Next season, the Ravens may not improve. However, Billick would have prolonged their deterioration.

Len Pasquarelli: Brian Billick… Superficial Genius

After the Baltimore Ravens' lengthy search for a starting quarterback in 1999 concluded with the underwhelming signing of free-agent journeyman Scott Mitchell, then-rookie coach Brian Billick attempted to allay the concerns of unimpressed fans by self-assuredly proclaiming: "Trust me, Baltimore, I know quarterbacks."

Those came to be infamous words in Baltimore, where Billick spent the ensuing nine seasons demonstrating that he knew very little about how to fix the Ravens' chronic shortcomings at the game's most critical position.

As Billick departed on Monday, having delivered a Super Bowl XXXV championship but never having remedied the Ravens' most glaring deficiency, it's worth mentioning that the team's quarterback situation is every bit as unsettled as when he arrived.

Having presided over some of the NFL's best offenses of this era while serving as the Minnesota coordinator under Dennis Green for five seasons, Billick was never able to transfer that same big-play magic to the Ravens during his tenure as head coach. Yeah, the Ravens won a Super Bowl title, but that was more a result of a suffocating defense, and it came in a season when, as usual, Billick was forced to shuffle quarterbacks.

The quarterback who led the Ravens to their Super Bowl win, Trent Dilfer, was gone the following spring. And the litany of names with whom Billick attempted to fill the position -- guys like Tony Banks, Elvis Grbac and Stoney Case -- defined the term suspect.

Ironically, perhaps the most talented quarterback Billick had in Baltimore was the guy he released in 2006, Derek Anderson, who nearly took the resurgent Cleveland Browns to the playoffs this season, and who is a Pro Bowl alternate.

That Anderson succeeded in Cleveland, the city summarily abandoned by former Ravens owner Art Modell when he relocated his team, has to be more than a little galling to Baltimore fans. In Billick's nine seasons in Baltimore, his offense never statistically ranked higher than 14th in the league. In six of those years, it was 20th or lower, including a No. 22 finish in 2007.

Interesting is that not once in the Billick Era did the Ravens' offense finish with a higher league ranking than their defense. In fact, only once did the defense rank out of the top 10 in Billick's nine seasons. Still, in the end, it wasn't that Billick had lost his touch as an offensive expert which cost him his position on Monday morning, less than a year after owner Steve Bisciotti signed the coach to a contract extension through 2010.

More than the continuing offensive woes, and far more than the nine-game losing streak this season, or the dismal 5-11 record that followed a surprising 13-3 mark and divisional championship in 2006, it was Billick's loss of support among his players that forced Bisciotti and general manager Ozzie Newsome into making a change.

Only a few weeks ago, Billick -- whose contract is believed to be worth $5 million-$5.8 million per year -- unilaterally proclaimed himself safe for 2008. The silence from Bisciotti, who traditionally does not grant interviews during the season, was not surprising. The lack of acknowledgement for Billick's assessment of his job status from anyone else within the Baltimore organization, however, was deafening.

Baltimore management surveyed players and support people for signs that the Billick message was going unheeded in the locker room. And, as the events of Monday reinforced, they certainly must have discovered that was the case. Possessed of an extraordinary vocabulary, and often seemingly impressed by his own knowledge of the language and delighting in verbal badinage with the media, Billick apparently ran out of the right words to inspire his charges.

It's long been thought that, when his coaching days ended, Billick would be a terrific candidate for the broadcast booth and, if that is indeed his next move, it might be an appropriate one. Because if the past nine seasons proved nothing else, it's that Billick might be significantly better at talking about quarterbacks than developing them.

UCLA Hires Former Star

Impact hires capture attention. Impact hires create buzz. Impact hires echo, resound, and reverberate. They recapture alumni and recruit superstars. Impact hires cannot guarantee success. They can guarantee justifiable attention.

On Saturday, UCLA hired Coach Rick Neuheisel. Neuheisel’s career has included obvious success and acknowledged mistakes. “I was a young coach when I got the [Colorado] job at age 33, and maybe in an effort to prove that I belonged to the older peer group, I did some things that probably weren't necessary in an effort to try to compete and show everybody I was going to outhustle them,” he said. “I can't change the past, but I can learn from the past.”

In 1983, Neuheisel was UCLA’s Quarterback. He logged a 6-1 ledger. He won the Rose Bowl Most Valuable Player. Ironically, Neuheisel supplants Karl Dorrell. In the Rose Bowl, Neuheisel to Dorrell recorded two touchdowns. “He's a great man and a great leader and he'll always be a Bruin, and as long as I'm in charge of this program, we're going to speak of Karl Dorrell in reverent tones,” Neuheisel said.

On the sidelines, Neuheisel has racked a 66-30 record. In Colorado, he tallied a 33-14 mark. In Washington, he chalked a 33-16 record. Despite his success, Neuheisel is divisive. His Colorado tenure included infractions and probation. His Washington tenure included gambling, his dismissal, and a wrongful termination lawsuit.

Neuheisel is the human Rorschach test. Supporters view assertiveness, confidence, and success. Critics view arrogance, conceit, and misconduct. The relevant question… the NCAA’s opinion. Is Neuheisel simply misunderstood? Is he Jerry Tarkanian?

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition) (Bowls – Tier Three)

Erik Ainge (QB – Tennessee): 25/43, 365 yards, 2 td
(Win: 21-17 vs. Wisconsin)

Adrian Arrington (WR – Michigan): 9 receptions, 153 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-35 vs. Florida)

Mike Hart (RB – Michigan): 32 carries, 129 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-35 vs. Florida)

Chad Henne (QB – Michigan): 25/39, 373 yards, 3 td
(Win: 41-35 vs. Florida)

Steve Johnson (WR – Kentucky): 7 receptions, 124 yards, 2 td
(Win: 35-28 vs. Florida State)

Zac Robinson (QB – Oklahoma State): 24/34, 302 yards, 3 td
(Win: 49-33 vs. Indiana)

Clifton Smith (RB – Fresno State): 18 carries, 152 yards, 2 td
(Win: 40-28 vs. Georgia Tech)

Jonathan Stewart (RB – Oregon): 23 carries, 253 yards, 1 td
(Win: 56-21 vs. South Florida)

Tony Temple (RB – Missouri): 24 carries, 281 yards, 4 td
(Win: 38-7 vs. Arkansas)

Andre Woodson (QB – Kentucky): 32/50, 358 yards, 4 td
(Win: 35-28 vs. Florida State)

A Great Day For Hockey

Tuna Sacrifice

On New Year’s Eve, the Miami Dolphins fired General Manager Randy Mueller. According to Jason Taylor, the alteration was necessary. “Are there certain things you would like to see changed? Absolutely,” said the defensive end. “I think any player in that locker room would say the same thing. There are certain things that do need to change that aren't set up for us to succeed. It's not an indictment or a knock against anybody, but it is what it is.”

Mueller’s firing was predictable. Coach Cam Cameron’s firing is expected. This season, the Dolphins went 1-15. Bill Parcells has one mandate. Restore the franchise. You cannot improve with defective elements.

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 8-13)

Outback Bowl
Wisconsin vs. Tennessee (-1)
This season, both were inconsistent. However, Tennessee is slightly superior.

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Missouri (-3) vs. Arkansas
Houston Nutt’s resignation. Darren McFadden’s allegations. Arkansas cannot focus.

Capital One Bowl
Michigan (+10 ½) vs. Florida
Lloyd Carr, Mike Hart, and Chan Henne’s farewell. Michigan will perform.

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl
Texas Tech (-5 ½) vs. Virginia
Virginia possesses a stellar defense. With that stated, points trump tackles.

Rose Bowl
Illinois vs. USC (-14)
On November 10, Illinois defeated Ohio State 28-21. John David Booty is not Todd Boeckman.

All State Sugar Bowl
Hawaii vs. Georgia (-7)
Simply stated, Hawaii is a lightweight. They cannot win.

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Tom Brady (QB – Patriots): 32/42, 356 yards, 2 d
(Win: 38-35 at Giants)

Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Cardinals): 11 receptions, 171 yards, 2 td
(Win: 48-19 vs. Rams)

Justin Gage (WR – Titans): 7 receptions, 104 yards
(Win: 16-10 at Colts)

Brandon Jackson (RB – Packers): 20 carries, 113 yards
(Win: 34-13 vs. Lions)

Jamal Lewis (RB – Browns): 26 carries, 128 yards
(Win: 20-7 vs. 49ers)

Randy Moss (WR – Patriots): 6 receptions, 100 yards, 2 td
(Win: 38-35 at Giants)

Santana Moss (WR – Redskins): 8 receptions, 115 yards, 1 td
(Win: 27-6 vs. Cowboys)

Carson Palmer (QB – Bengals): 23/32, 316 yards, 3 td
(Win: 38-25 at Dolphins)

Happy New Year

2007’s Biggest Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

2007's Hottest Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition) (Bowls – Tier Two)

Yvenson Bernard (RB – Oregon State): 38 carries, 177 yards, 1 td
(Win: 21-14 vs. Maryland)

Justin Forsett (RB – California): 23 carries, 140 yards, 2 td
(Win: 42-36 vs. Air Force)

Rich Gunnell (WR – Boston College): 6 receptions, 138 yards, 2 td
(Win: 24-21 vs. Michigan State)

Robert Jordan (WR – California): 6 receptions, 148 yards, 1 td
(Win: 42-36 vs. Air Force)

Rodney Kinlaw (RB – Penn State): 21 carries, 143 yards
(Win: 24-17 vs. Texas A&M)

Kenneth Moore (WR – Wake Forest): 11 receptions, 112 yards
(Win: 24-10 vs. Connecticut)

Husband, Son Assume Bhutto’s Legacy

Officially, Asif Ali Zardari and Bilawal Zardari will lead Benazir Bhutto’s party. In America, fathers and sons enjoy vacations. They play catch. They watch football. Asif and Bilawal must bear history. I wish them success.

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 5-10)

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
California (-5) vs. Air Force
Versus Tennessee, California commenced spectacularly. Versus Air Force, they will conclude similarly.

Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl
Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State (+6 ½)
Chan Gailey’s firing was a mistake. Fresno State will underscore this.

Brut Sun Bowl
South Florida (-5 ½) vs. Oregon
Sans Dennis Dixon, Oregon is terrible.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Kentucky vs. Florida State (+9)
Despite thirty-six suspensions, Florida State will compete.

Insight Bowl
Indiana (+5 ½) vs. Oklahoma State
The Hoosier’s thirteenth contest. For Coach Hoeppner, Indiana will win.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl
Clemson (-2) vs. Auburn
Both squads are excellent. Given James Davis and C.J. Spiller, Clemson has the edge.

Yahoo: 2008’s Most Anticipated Movies (Release Date)

Cloverfield (January 18)

Rambo (January 25)

Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who (March 14)

Iron Man (May 2)

Speed Racer (May 9)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (May 16)

Sex and the City (May 30)

WALL-E (June 27)

Wanted (June 27)

Dark Knight (July 10)

Bowden States the Obvious

Bobby Bowden: “I don't think you can ruin my legacy. How can you ruin it? What I've done, I've done. You can't take it away, can you?”

Line of the Year (2007)

Senator Barack Obama (D-IL)

“In 2003, Bush’s poll numbers were sky high. It was political suicide to oppose this war. I did. And it has nothing to do with talking tough. No one has talked tough to George Bush in four years.”

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 5-9)

Petro Sun Independence Bowl
Alabama vs. Colorado (+4)
Bowl season’s worst pairing. Favor the Buffaloes.

NEW RULE (Best of 2007 - #1)

Stop fucking the party.

Three vetoes. President Bush has never vetoed a spending appropriation. He has vetoed stem cell research… twice. Upon his reelection, social security, tax, and tort reform were promised. Instead, gay marriage was debated. Why?

Conservatives’ value is minute. Unfortunately, President Bush cherishes them. They screamed pardon Scooter Libby. President Bush acquiesced. Essentially, he prostituted himself. He did not court the twenty-four carat female. President Bush cuddled the town tramp.

Once, Karl Rove championed a permanent Republican majority. He has failed. Majority occurs only via expansion. Rove has contracted Republicans. He has alienated and ostracized potential converts. Simply stated, he has castrated his party.

I admired President Bush. I aided his reelection. I am angry with him. Why? He has stained Republicans. He has crippled 2008. Undecided voters recognize cronyism. They recognize patronage. This pardon cost us votes.

Mr. President, your action was disastrous. Your second term has been infuriating. On Republican’s behalf, I implore you… stop!

The Daily Smak (Best of 2007)

According to Terry Bowden, West Virginia Coach is his “dream job.” Unbelievable! Morgantown is “the happiest place on earth?”

In New York, police were off duty. They were partying at Hooters. You thought they were rubbing out crime.

According to Hillary Clinton, dental surgery is romantic. Yesterday, I underwent route canal surgery as foreplay. Greatest sex of my life.

Democrats Jeopardize Military Funding

On Thursday, Congress passed defense funding legislation. Unfortunately, an Iraqi lawsuit provision is included. On Friday, President Bush promised a veto. Democrats are ridiculous. Defense appropriations are critical. They are required. Why must Democrats act cute?

Letterman Respects Writers, Reaches Accord

On Friday, David Letterman and the Writers Guild of America compromised. On January 2, “The Late Show” will return. I applaud Letterman. Unlike Stephen Colbert, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, and Jon Stewart, Letterman’s actions were respectable.