Joiner Receives Reprieve, Retribution

On Friday, Tony Joiner’s charges were dropped. Despite this, Florida Coach Urban Meyer revoked Joiner’s captaincy. Versus LSU, Joiner will not start. Meyer’s actions are appropriate. However, they are incomplete. Joiner should not play. On Saturday, he should simply watch the contest.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Its not all bad news for the Mets. After they rolled over and played dead, Leona Helmsley left them $12 million dollars.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 4-1 Overall: 13-7)

Oklahoma at Texas (+11 ½)
Versus Mack Brown, Bob Stoops is 5-2. The Longhorns will compete. However, the Sooners will prevail.

Georgia (-1) at Tennessee
Versus Tennessee, the Bulldogs have lost two of three. On Saturday, they will garner revenge.

Cincinnati at Rutgers (-4)
Last season, Cincinnati embarrassed Rutgers. Last week, Maryland embarrassed Rutgers. Rutgers has had enough.

Ohio State (-7) at Purdue
This season, Purdue has defeated Central Michigan, Eastern Illinois, Notre Dame, and Toledo. Favor the Buckeyes.

Florida at LSU (-7 ½)
In 2006, LSU embarrassed themselves. In 2007, the Tigers are different. This contest will be close. However, LSU will excel late.

Survivor: Alliance Axes Leslie

Alliances are critical. They dictate scenarios. Your friend’s friend is revolting. You desire his removal. Unfortunately, your friends enjoy him. You can protest. You can rant. However, he has an alliance. Your opinion may be valid. Yet, your opinion is unsupported.

For immunity, Fei Long and Zhan Hu retrieved and assembled a puzzle. Amidst Courtney’s struggling, Zhan Hu seized the advantage. Fei Long nearly recovered. Unfortunately, their deficit was sizable. Zhan Hu garnered victory.

Equally, Jean-Robert and Leslie were reviled. Leslie advocated Jean-Robert’s removal. Jean-Robert advocated Leslie’s. Jean-Robert had the alliance. Via a 6-2 vote, Leslie was eliminated.

NEW RULE

Hats are obsolete.

Last night, Lebron James attended the American League Division Series. His attire? A New York Yankees hat. Obviously, James was booed. However, his motivation was irrelevant. His fashion was wrong. Lebron, baseball players and rappers wear hats. Icons do not.

Pirates Fire Tracy… So What?

On Friday, the Pittsburgh Pirates fired Manager Jim Tracy. During his tenure, Tracy posted a 135-189 record. Tracy’s firing is inconsequential. His exodus will not initiate improvement. The Pirates are abysmal. Their abyss is self-inflicted. Their management is apathetic and stupid. Consistently, they embarrass their city and franchise. Obviously, the Pirates are small market. However, the Cleveland Indians and Oakland Athletics are small market. Since 1993, they have accrued twelve postseason appearances. The Pirates could improve. Sadly, they do not care.

Worth A Read

Fire Joe Morgan

Where bad sports journalism comes to die. Their name is not hostile. Merely, an overall attitude.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Hillary Clinton has proposed that 5,000 dollars be given to every baby born in America. Five thousand dollars! Here’s a chance for Kevin Federline to make some real money. He could get 30, 40 grand right there.”

The Tonight Show

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be from Cleveland?

According to Michael Vick’s attorneys, they will oppose the Virginia indictment. Their argument? For the same crime, you cannot be convicted twice. O.J.’s question… How was I?

An Illinois school will celebrate Christmas, Halloween, and Ramadan. For Halloween, children receive candy. For Christmas, they receive gifts. Ramadan is one month of prayer and fasting. Children will love that.

Senator Craig Guilty Again, Not Exiting… Yet

On Thursday, Senator Larry Craig was rebuked. His guilty plea was sustained. Subsequently, Craig rescinded his resignation. Instead, he will not seek re-election. Personally, I desire Craig’s immediate disappearance. With that stated, this is acceptable. The court’s decision was correct. I hope this affair is concluded.

Domenici Announces Cancer, Resignation

On Thursday, Senator Pete Domenici (R-NM) retired. Simultaneously, he disclosed his brain cancer. Domenici has served six terms. He has been both a patriot and statesman. The Domenici family has our thoughts and prayers.

The Pride of Cleveland

The Big Five (9/30)

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five (9/30)

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

NEW RULE

Diana investigations are unwarranted.

According to an inquest, Princess Diana’s pregnancy status is indeterminable. Seriously? Princess Diana is dead. Her death was tragic. However, her death is ten years old. Why investigate? Her cause of death was not mysterious. Her cause of death was incompetence… both driver and driving.

During her life, Princess Diana was stalked. Her life was scandalized. Her life was trivialized. Her every second was scrutinized. This continues. Enough! Princess Diana is dead. No investigation will reincarnate her.

Smoke & Democrats

On Wednesday, President Bush vetoed an insurance expansion. President Bush’s action was appropriate. No one opposes insuring children. With that stated, the Democrats were unseemly. A sixty-one cent cigarette tax increase? The aforesaid is regressive.

Everyone adores children. Everyone abhors smoking. However, this debate is not that. This debate is nuanced. Simply stated, Democrats must compromise. Smoking may be abhorrent. However, a tax increase is asinine.

Callous Cardinals Gut Gentleman

On Wednesday, the St. Louis Cardinals dismissed General Manager Walt Jocketty. The Cardinals decision was ridiculous. During his tenure, Jocketty won. He won with miniscule talent. Jocketty was also a gentleman. Major League Baseball will miss him.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be suspended?

A Texas student has been suspended. Why? He wore a John Edwards t-shirt. Naturally, Edwards was shocked. He still has supporters?

In Tennessee, forty men were arrested. They were having sex in public parks. Fortunately, Senator Larry Craig was in Minnesota.

From Talent to Tragedy: Spears Loses Custody

Pacman Jones and Michael Vick flouted authority. Essentially, they flipped off the system. They do not merit compassion. With that stated, certain celebrities are tragic. They are oblivious. Despite their stature, they inexplicably wreck themselves.

On Monday, Britney Spears forfeited child custody. Kevin Federline received Sean Preston (2 years old) and Jaden James (1 year old). This is not permanent. However, this situation is self-inflicted. According to TMZ, Spears has continuously, frequently, and habitually utilized alcohol and controlled substances.

During her career, Spears has sold 76 million albums. Domestically, she has accrued seven number one songs. Internationally, she has amassed twenty-three number one songs. Spears has also owned “Crossroads.” She has endorsed Pepsi. She has licensed four books, four fragrances, seven dvds, a doll, and a video game.

Since 2004, Spears has been a train wreck. Once, she was a national obsession. Today, she is tabloid tart. Truthfully, Spears deserves sympathy. Federline is a loser. Spears is a treasure. Sadly, the toad has diminished the princess.

Kelly Pavlik: America’s Pugilist

Boxing is art. Boxing is science. Boxing is not punching. Boxing is not a slugfest. The aforesaid is fighting. Boxing is strategic. Unfortunately, strategy is not beloved. Silently, fans respect the tacticians. Within their hearts, fans cheer those who stand and throw.

On Saturday, Kelly Pavlik defeated Jermaine Taylor. With his victory, Pavlik won the undisputed middleweight championship. Pavlik advanced to 32-0. Taylor declined to 27-1-1.

Pre-fight, both fighters taunted. According to Pavlik, Taylor lacked heart. According to Taylor, Pavlik was overrated. In the second round, Taylor validated his bluster. His stunning overhand right planted Pavlik. Following a standing eight count, Taylor pursed a knockout. Unfortunately, the round concluded.

After three crisp rounds, Pavlik reestablished himself. In the seventh, he cornered Taylor. He commenced a barrage. His rights and lefts suffocated Taylor. Eventually, Taylor crumpled. Pavlik’s actions were fortunate. On every scorecard, he was trailing.

Excellence molds champions. However, stories mold legends. Pavlik is a champion. He is violent. With that stated, he is relatable. He hails from an abyss. He is self-made. Pavlik’s grittiness does not equal celebrity. His grittiness translates. Pavlik is every man. Pavlik is who fans cheer.

Premiere Week’s Best

Best Premiere: CSI

Worst Premiere: Boston Legal

Best New Show: Dirty Sexy Money

Worst New Show: Journeyman

Best Existing Character: Greg House (House)

Worst Existing Character: Jerry Espensen (Boston Legal)

Best New Character: Alex Vega (Cane)

Worst New Character: Duncan Collinsworth (Big Shots)

Best Existing Writing: Grey’s Anatomy

Worst Existing Writing: Boston Legal

Best New Writing: Gossip Girl

Worst New Writing: Private Practice

Las Vegas & Los Angeles: Relationships Explode

Relationships are Rorschach tests. They are intricate and interpretable. They are challenging and complex. Relationships are individually beautiful. They are mutually combustible. Relationships are nothing, except for those within them.

On Monday, Audrina, Justin, Lauren, and Lo attended Brody’s birthday…Brody’s Las Vegas birthday. Ignorantly, Justin ignored Lauren and Lo. This upset Audrina and induced friction. Ultimately, Audrina snapped. Meanwhile, Brody and Lauren canoodled. They shared a birthday kiss. They considered a relationship.

Concerning Audrina and Justin, they are ridiculous. Lo did not betray someone. She told a joke. Justin should mature and advance. Audrina should relax. Concerning Brody and Lauren, they should not date. Brody is obnoxious. He is Kristin’s sloppy seconds. Lauren deserves better.

Heidi’s anniversary and occupation conflicted. As a solution, she sought Elodie. Elodie promised assistance. However, she had already quit. Amidst Heidi and Spencer’s dinner, Bolthouse Productions phoned. They summoned Heidi. Realizing betrayal, Heidi acquiesced. Unfortunately, Spencer rebuked her apology.

Spencer is an ass. Work trumps relationships. Spencer should have understood. He should have reacted appropriately. Instead, he acted as himself. Concerning Elodie, her swerve was gorgeous. She merits praise. As previously stated, Heidi’s promotion was deserved. Her actions were ruthless. However, she should have expected repercussions.

Game Balls (NFL Edition)

Joseph Addai (RB – Colts): 19 carries, 136 yards, 1 td
(Win: 38-20 vs. Broncos)

Dwayne Bowe (WR – Chiefs): 8 receptions, 164 yards, 1 td
(Win: 30-16 at Chargers)

Deion Branch (WR – Seahawks): 7 receptions, 130 yards
(Win: 23-3 at 49ers)

Patrick Crayton (WR – Cowboys): 7 receptions, 184 yards, 2 td
(Win: 35-7 vs. Rams)

Justin Fargas (RB – Raiders): 22 carries, 179 yards
(Win: 35-17 at Dolphins)

Brett Favre (QB – Packers): 32/45, 344 yards, 2 td
(Win: 23-16 at Vikings)

Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Cardinals): 11 receptions, 123 yards
(Win: 21-14 vs. Steelers)

Ike Hilliard (WR – Buccaneers): 7 receptions, 114 yards
(Win: 20-7 at Panthers)

Sammy Morris (RB – Patriots): 21 carries, 117 yards, 1 td
(Win: 34-13 at Bengals)

Tony Romo (QB – Cowboys): 21/33, 339 yards, 3 td; 3 carries, 24 yards, 1 td
(Win: 35-7 vs. Rams)

Game Balls (College Football Edition)

Thomas Brown (RB – Georgia): 16 carries, 180 yards, 3 td
(Win: 45-17 vs. Mississippi)

Hugh Charles (RB – Colorado): 24 carries, 124 yards, 1 td
(Win: 27-24 vs. Oklahoma)

Tashard Choice (RB – Georgia Tech): 32 carries, 145 yards, 1 td
(Win: 13-3 vs. Clemson)

Nick Graziano (QB – Nevada): 20/38, 330 yards, 3 td
(Win: 27-20 vs. UNLV)

Nicholas Grigsby (RB – Arizona): 30 carries, 186 yards
(Win: 48-20 vs. Washington)

P.J. Hill (RB – Wisconsin): 34 carries, 155 yards, 2 td
(Win: 37-34 vs. Michigan State)

DeSean Jackson (WR – California): 11 receptions, 161 yards, 2 td
(Win: 31-24 at Oregon)

Keon Lattimore (RB – Maryland): 34 carries, 124 yards, 1 td
(Win: 34-24 at Rutgers)

Kellen Lewis (QB – Indiana): 19/26, 322 yards, 3 td
(Win: 38-20 at Indiana)

Jordy Nelson (WR – Kansas State): 12 receptions, 116 yards, 1 td
(Win: 41-21 at Texas)

Kevin Smith (RB – Central Florida): 33 carries, 223 yards, 3 td
(Win: 37-19 vs. Louisiana-Lafayette)

Marcus Thomas (RB – UTEP): 35 carries, 207 yards, 3 td
(Win: 48-45 at SMU)

NEW RULE

Conservatives must learn math.

This weekend, the Council for National Policy met. The Council’s principal members? Conservative anarchists James Dobson (Focus on the Family), Tony Perkins (Family Research Council), and Richard Viguerie. If Mayor Rudi Giuliani is nominated, conservatives may bolt. They may form a third party. Evidently, Giuliani insults Republican ideals.

Dobson, Perkins, and Viguerie are an insult. They are also stupid. The Presidency requires 270 electoral votes. Alabama, Mississippi, Montana, South Carolina, Utah, and Wyoming do not have this. Arizona, Florida, Iowa, Minnesota, New Mexico, and Ohio are the prize. Unfortunately, they possess common sense. They are not mindless druids.

Conservatives can mock the middle. They can abhor bipartisanship and compromise. However, the middle is coveted. The middle is valued. The middle wins elections.

Worth A Read

Grassroots Conservative Majority

A conservative political blog. Their focus? 255 congressional districts and 31 states.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“O.J. was ordered to surrender his watch… You can tell its O.J.’s watch. Its wound tight and the hands are bloody.”

Late Show with David Letterman

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be a Florida Gator?

According to CNN, women are having elective mastectomies. Voluntarily, they are removing a breast. Masochists has new meaning.

According to a judge, Ron Goldman should receive O.J.’s assets. O.J.’s lone question? Does this include the gun?

Florida Distraction Disaster

On Tuesday, Florida Safety Tony Joiner was charged with felony burglary. Illegally, Joiner entered an impound lot. He retrieved his girlfriend’s car. He attempted an exit. Unfortunately, he was apprehended. Coaches abhor distractions. Joiner’s actions were not a diversion. Joiner’s actions required special stupidity.

Destination Victory

According to her campaign, Senator Hillary Clinton raised $22 million. According to his campaign, Senator Barack Obama accrued $19 million. The aforesaid is unsurprising. Despite initial momentum, Obama has not ascended. He has not narrowed Clinton’s edge. This migration is pragmatic.

MLB Playoff Predictions

League Division Series

American League

Boston Red Sox defeat Anaheim Angels 3-0
New York Yankees defeat Cleveland Indians 3-1

National League

Chicago Cubs defeat Arizona Diamondbacks 3-2
Philadelphia Phillies defeat Colorado Rockies 3-2

League Championship Series

American League

New York Yankees defeat Boston Red Sox 4-3

National League

Philadelphia Phillies defeat Chicago Cubs 4-3

World Series

New York Yankees defeat Philadelphia Phillies 4-3

GLBT: A Legislative Calamity

On Tuesday, anti-discrimination legislation failed. Why? Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals are included. Transgenders are not. As previously stated, Democrats are ridiculous. Bisexual and Transgender “lifestyles” are repugnant. Mainstream America abhors them. Democrats wonder why they lose?

Marvin Lewis Explodes

Marvin Lewis: “I'm tired of fighting it. You don't call the offense, you don't call the defense, you just play. All week long people tell you how good you are. We ain't (nothing). We won't play together. We need to figure it out. Nowhere in the National Football League do guys act like this. If you don't want to be on this team, please don't show up.”

Matt Leinart: Terrible Teammate

Matt Leinart: “I just want them to ride or die with me. If I'm the franchise quarterback, play me and let me stumble, because I'll fight through it, and that will help me and our team in the long run. I know coaches want to win now, and I guess they have their reasons. But I don't understand it, and this switching back and forth is almost worse than getting benched.”

LSU Ascends, Saturday Repercussions Evident

1. LSU (2)
2. USC (1)
3. California (6)
4. Ohio State (8)
5. Wisconsin (9)
6. South Florida (18)
7. Boston College (12)
8. Kentucky (14)
9. Florida (4)
10. Oklahoma (3)
11. South Carolina (16)
12. Georgia (15)
13. West Virginia (5)
14. Oregon (11)
15. Virginia Tech (17)
16. Hawaii (19)
17. Missouri (20)
18. Arizona State (23)
19. Texas (7)
20. Cincinnati (24)
21. Rutgers (10)
22. Clemson (13)
23. Purdue (NR)
24. Kansas State (NR)
25. Nebraska (25)

Slit Your Throat Saturday

Colorado 27 (3) Oklahoma 24
Consistently, Bob Stoops wins critical contests. He was won a national championship. He has garnered three conference championships. Versus Texas, he is 5-2. Bob Stoops wins important contests. He loses the unimportant. In 2001 and 2002, trivial challengers cost him. Colorado was this season’s Oklahoma State.

Auburn 20 (4) Florida 17
On Saturday, Florida will oppose LSU. This showdown was set. Both were undefeated. Both were top five. Auburn was twice defeated. Florida should have mulled them. Instead, the Gators were dominated.

(18) South Florida 21 (5) West Virginia 13
Last season, South Florida embarrassed West Virginia 24-19. Revenge was obvious. Unfortunately, West Virginia amassed six turnovers. Once again, Rich Rodriguez’s non-passing offense was mangled.

Kansas State 41 (7) Texas 21
The Red River shootout is monumental. Annually, championship implications are present. Unfortunately, the mediocre cannot contend. Following Oklahoma’s meltdown, Texas incinerated the clash.

Maryland 34 (10) Rutgers 24
In 2006, Cincinnati ruined Rutgers. Following Louisville and West Virginia’s collapse, the Scarlet Knights were presumed conference champions. Pathetically, Maryland dominated them.

NEW RULE

Schadenfreude is distasteful.

On Monday, Britney Spears forfeited child custody. Subsequently, CNN chastised her. They excoriated her appearance, lifestyle, and talent. Obviously, Spears’ setback is self-inflicted. However, Spears lost her children. No one should enjoy that. Spears is not evil. She is not O.J. Simpson or Michael Vick. She is merely oblivious. CNN’s reaction was reprehensible. Mocking stupidity is acceptable. Mocking tragedy is asinine.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“The Yankees are in the playoffs. The Yankees got into the playoffs via the wild card… which is how we got President Bush.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Jones Jilted

The Atlanta Braves will not retain Andruw Jones. During his career, Jones has amassed 368 home runs and 1,117 runs batted in. He has been an institution. Thus, the Braves decision is unfortunate. Once, they valued their cornerstones.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Trevor Hoffman?

Today’s top five or irrational Democratic obsessions (1) Rush Limbaugh, (2) Bill O’Reilly, (3) Sean Hannity, (4) Dana Perino, (5) Fox News

Finally, I tip the ol’ ball cap (college edition) to Taylor Bradford and Rodney Lyle Lockhart. They were to young.

Farewell with Honesty

General Peter Pace: “Our democracy is strengthened by divergent views and dialogue about those views when that dialogue is conducted in a civil manner, in a gentlemanly way, in a way that allows people to argue on the merits of what they believe and to understand that what they believe is part of the answer and if they have the willingness to cooperate to find the right answer for our country. And what worries me is that in some instances right now we have individuals who are more interested in making somebody else look bad than they are in finding the right solution. They are more interested in letting their personal venom come forward instead of talking about how do we get from where we are to where we need to be. So the dialogue is not about 'Are we in a war' but how and where and when to best fight that war to preserve our freedom and to preserve our way of life and to do so with the least damage to our own society and the least damage to those who we're fighting against so we can put the pieces back together on the end of this. We will prevail. There's no doubt about that.”

Disaster Reprieve

With seventeen skirmishes remaining, the New York Mets’ edge was seven. The Philadelphia Phillies swept them. The Mets won four of seven. The Washington Nationals swept them. The St. Louis Cardinals defeated them. Ultimately, the Florida Marlins suffocated them. On Sunday, the Marlins defeated the Mets 8-1, extinguishing their playoff contention.

New York’s collapse was both epic and self-inflicted. The Mets did not hit. Their pitching imploded. They allowed nine seven-plus run contests. With that stated, the Mets should relax. Manager Willie Randolph should be retained. Alterations should be minimal. Obviously, the Mets’ fold was calamitous. However, calamity should not rule.

Solo Truth

On Sunday, the USA defeated Norway 4-1. Hope Solo did not attend. The aforesaid is ridiculous. Solo does not merit eviction. She does not warrant expulsion. Solo spoke truth. She did not violate ethics. Coach Greg Ryan’s decision was absurd. Solo is America’s future. Her reaction was justified.

National Hockey League Predictions

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division
1. New York Rangers (56-17-9, 121 points)
2. New Jersey Devils (48-24-10, 106 points)
3. Pittsburgh Penguins (47-23-12, 106 points)
4. New York Islanders (44-30-8, 96 points)
5. Philadelphia Flyers (41-35-6, 88 points)

Northeast Division
1. Ottawa Senators (53-18-11, 117 points)
2. Toronto Maple Leafs (51-23-6, 108 points)
3. Buffalo Sabres (44-29-9, 97 points)
4. Boston Bruins (42-33-7, 91 points)
5. Montreal Canadians (38-34-10, 86 points)

Southeast Division
1. Carolina Hurricanes (54-20-8, 116 points)
2. Tampa Bay Lightning (50-26-6, 106 points)
3. Atlanta Thrashers (46-28-8, 100 points)
4. Washington Capitals (36-40-6, 78 points)
5. Florida Panthers (30-40-12, 72 points)

Western Conference

Central Division
1. Detroit Red Wings (55-18-9, 119 points)
2. St. Louis Blues (52-23-7, 111 points)
3. Nashville Predators (48-28-6, 102 points)
4. Chicago Blackhawks (37-30-15, 89 points)
5. Columbus Blue Jackets (30-43-9, 69 points)

Northwest Division
1. Calgary Flames (51-23-8, 110 points)
2. Vancouver Canucks (50-26-6, 106 points)
3. Colorado Avalanche (46-26-12, 106 points)
4. Minnesota Wild (40-32-10, 90 points)
5. Edmonton Oilers (39-33-10, 88 points)

Pacific Division
1. Anaheim Ducks (54-21-7, 115 points)
2. San Jose Sharks (52-25-5, 109 points)
3. Dallas Stars (51-25-6, 108 points)
4. Los Angeles Kings (36-36-10, 82 points)
5. Phoenix Coyotes (32-41-9, 73 points)

Eastern Conference

First Round
(1) New York Rangers defeat (8) Atlanta Thrashers 4-2
(2) Ottawa Senators defeat (7) Pittsburgh Penguins 4-0
(3) Carolina Hurricanes defeat (6) New Jersey Devils 4-3
(5) Tampa Bay Lightning defeat (4) Toronto Maple Leafs 4-3

Conference Semi-Final
(1) New York Rangers defeat (5) Tampa Bay Lightning 4-0
(3) Carolina Hurricanes defeat (2) Ottawa Senators 4-3

Conference Finals
(1) New York Rangers defeat (3) Carolina Hurricanes 4-2

Western Conference

First Round
(1) Detroit Red Wings defeat (8) Colorado Avalanche 4-1
(2) Anaheim Ducks defeat (7) Vancouver Canucks 4-1
(3) Calgary Flames defeat (6) Dallas Stars 4-3
(5) San Jose Sharks defeat (4) St. Louis Blues 4-2

Conference Semi-Final
(1) Detroit Red Wings defeat (5) San Jose Sharks 4-3
(2) Anaheim Ducks defeat (3) Calgary Flames 4-3

Conference Finals
(1) Detroit Red Wings defeat (2) Anaheim Ducks 4-3

Stanley Cup Finals
(1) New York Rangers defeat (1) Detroit Red Wings 4-1

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“The hookers in Times Square have a new Mets special. For an extra fifty bucks, they’ll blow it.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Worth A Read

Allie is Wired

An entertainment blog. Featuring facts, speculations, and occasional downright lies.

Memphis Lineman, Mississippi Sprinter Shot

Taylor Bradford
(21 years old)

Rodney Lydale Lockhart
(20 years old)

NEW RULE

Do not seek trouble.

In Louisiana and New York, nooses have appeared. Seriously? Following Columbine, threats increased. Following Janet Jackson, the envelope was exacerbated. Why? People should avoid combustion. Yet, they do not. Why court controversy? Incinerating yourself is convenient. Improving yourself… this requires intelligence.

An Olympic Champion

Al Oerter
(1936-2007)

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be National League East Champions?

This weekend, Newt Gingrich announced he will not run. Evidently, Gingrich loves his foundation. Translation… he cannot win.

Today’s top five or largest NFL disasters (1) San Diego Chargers, (2) St. Louis Rams, (3) Brian Griese, (4) Miami Dolphins, (5) Chad Pennington

Line of the Morning

New Gingrich (R-GA)

“Republicans have got to get out from under Washington. And if we nominate somebody who is a continuation of where we are right now, we're going to lose.”

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 3-2 Season: 4-6)

Packers (-2) at Vikings
Within the Metrodome, everyone expects Brett Favre acrimony. Anyone expect the 4-0 Packers?

Ravens at Browns (+4 ½)
The Browns offense is improving. The Ravens offense is anemic. Favor Derek Anderson.

Texans at Falcons (+3)
This offseason, the Falcons traded Matt Schaub to the Texans. As reciprocation, Michael Vick was indicted. Today, Joey Harrington reverses karma.

Steelers (-6) at Cardinals
The Steelers versus Ken Whisenhunt. Actually, Ben Roethlisberger versus Matt Leinart. Anyone regret their exodus?

Eagles (-3) at Giants
Versus Washington, Eli Manning was fortunate. Donovan McNabb is not as charitable.

Iran’s Intentions? Unalterable

On Friday, Iran scored a reprieve. In lieu of additional sanctions, they received a two-month extension. As previously stated, Iran is disingenuous. They could cease enrichment. They could allow inspectors. Unfortunately, Iran will never relent. They cannot be trusted. Last week, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad “closed” the nuclear issue. Will two months alter this?

Franchione’s Funding Slip

Since 2005, Texas A&M Coach Dennis Franchione sold boosters injury information and player assessments. Franchione earned $1,200. The revenue financed his web site. Franchione’s actions were reprehensible. They were slimy. They should be violations. Unfortunately, they are arrogantly typical. During Franchione’s tenure, Texas A&M is only 25-23. Within the Big Twelve, they are 15-17. Clearly, Franchione is a myth and a marketer. He is not a mastermind.

Cooper is Incorrect Choice

On Friday, the Houston Astros retained Cecil Cooper. Since Phil Garner’s firing, the Astros have amassed a 13-15 record. Cooper deserves a managerial opportunity. Unfortunately, the Astros are a vanishing franchise. Cooper is not the solution.

The Big Five (9/23)

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five (9/23)

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.