Health Hiatus

Big Five & Hot Five

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 4-1 Season: 18-12)

Vikings (+6) at Steelers
This season, the Steelers are 4-2. Their previous opponents were 11-23. The Vikings will win this contest.

Bears at Bengals (Even)
Last week, the Houston Texans defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 28-17. The Bengals must reestablish themselves.

Saints (-6) at Dolphins
Versus the Miami Dolphins, Drew Brees is 0-3. On Sunday, Brees tosses three touchdowns. He scores an initial victory.

Falcons (+4) at Cowboys
Versus NFC East, North, and South opponents, Matt Ryan is 7-2. Favor the Falcons.

Cardinals (+7) at Giants
Versus the New York Giants, Kurt Warner has lost four consecutive contests. Warner will accrue three touchdowns. He will not toss an interception. However, the Giants will win.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 4-1 Season: 20-15)

South Florida (+6 ½) at Pittsburgh
Last season, Pittsburgh defeated South Florida 26-21. On Saturday, the Bulls will exact their revenge.

Penn State (-4 ½) at Michigan
This season, Michigan has defeated Delaware State, Eastern Michigan, Indiana, Notre Dame, and Western Michigan. Iowa and Michigan State have defeated the Wolverines. Favor the Nittany Lions.

Auburn (+7 ½) at LSU
Since 2004, LSU has won three contests. Auburn has won two contests. LSU has outscored Auburn 88-79. LSU will win. However, Auburn will compete.

TCU at BYU (+2 ½)
In four contests, BYU has recorded two victories. TCU has recorded two victories. BYU has outscored TCU 122-115. In the fourth quarter, the Cougars win this contest.

Oregon State (+21) at USC
In nine seasons, Pete Carroll has accrued eleven conference losses. He has never lost consecutive conference contests versus one opponent.

Harmonized Medicine

Jim Zorn Fired? Redskins Faux Protest

Washington Redskins President Vinny Cerrato: “Jim Zorn is the head coach of the Washington Redskins and will be for the rest of this season, and hopefully into the future. The frustration is very high, everywhere around here. But the relationships internally within this organization, quite frankly, remain the same. Hopefully we can just concentrate and focus on winning football games.”

FBI Reignites Drug War

On Wednesday and Thursday, the FBI arrested 300. As previously stated, drugs are omnipresent. They infect our children and communities. They may not merit headlines. They warrant reaction.

Expanding “Hate”

On Thursday, the Senate passed the Matthew Shepard Act (68-29). The hate crimes measure includes ethnicity, race, religion, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders. As previously stated, Democrats are ridiculous. Bisexual and Transgender “lifestyles” are repugnant. Mainstream America abhors them.

Mississippi Fans Embrace Stupidity, Bigotry

Despite "From Dixie with Love" alterations, Mississippi fans still chant “the south will rise again.” When will assholes realize the obvious? Southern states possess exemplary art, athletics, entertainment, and music. Confederate expressionism desecrates these.

A Simplistic Artiste

Soupy Sales
(1926-2009)

Yahoo: Companies Showcase Recession Resistance

Behold the damage the recession has wrought on the consumer economy: Retailers and automakers have gone bankrupt, restaurants have closed, and malls have become ghost towns. Most businesses dependent on consumer spending, from clothing to computers to appliances, have felt the pinch.

But some consumer-product companies have benefited from the recession, usually because they sell the kind of stuff that helps people save money. Other companies have capitalized on timely technology or latched on to powerful trends that defy the recession. To identify some of these recession winners, I analyzed data provided by financial research firm Capital IQ, a unit of Standard & Poor's, to see which consumer-products firms have gained revenue and market share since the recession began near the end of 2007. Then I researched earnings reports and other sources to see which products have fueled each company's growth.

For many of these companies, any increase in revenue over the past two years is a nifty accomplishment, since overall sales of household goods have fallen by more than 30 percent, according to Capital IQ. And sales of supposedly recessionproof "staple" items like food, beverages, and personal products have barely risen. So firms that have significantly outpaced the rest of their industry deserve special attention.

The products and companies that made our list provide an interesting glimpse into how Americans have adjusted their spending and lifestyle habits in the midst of recession. We're finding plenty of ways to cut corners but still enjoy familiar pastimes and small treats. Here are some of the things we've spent more on during lean times:

Arm & Hammer laundry detergent. When money's scarce, who wants to splurge on household cleaners? Hardly anybody, it appears, which is why Church & Dwight's "power brands," known for value and dependability, have been thriving. Four years ago, when the economy was booming, the company's Arm & Hammer brands, including laundry detergent, toothpaste, and kitty litter, were growing at a sleepy 1 percent per year. In the midst of the recession, the company ramped up advertising for Arm & Hammer products, which has helped deliver double-digit sales gains for the past 12 months. Overall, Church & Dwight's revenue is up 12 percent over the past two years.

Coleman camping gear. Lavish vacations are back on the wish list, with more people staying close to home. That's good news for the Jarden Corp., which owns Coleman and more than 40 other everyday brands. Applications for fishing and camping permits are up about 10 percent over the past year, with some people even fishing more to help lower their grocery bills. That's helped boost sales of Coleman tents, coolers, stoves, and sleeping bags, along with fishing gear made by Stren and Trilene, two other Jarden brands. Other growing business lines, such as Ball canning jars and Rawlings sporting goods, have helped push company revenue up 12 percent since 2007.

Hyundai automobiles. There's a depression in the auto industry, with automakers going bankrupt, dealers shutting their doors, and sales down 27 percent from last year, according to J. D. Power & Associates. But Hyundai has the right cars for lean times, and sales are up nearly 3 percent, thanks to an affordable lineup of feature-packed vehicles and spiffy new models like the Genesis sedan and coupe. Hyundai and its sister company Kia were once lampooned as discount bottom-dwellers with offerings scarcely better than used cars. But a concentrated effort to improve quality has paid off, along with a strategy of offering more features for less than competitors like Toyota, Honda, and General Motors.

Keurig single-cup coffee. Java giant Starbucks has been struggling, but that doesn't mean coffee has fallen out of favor. Vermont-based Green Mountain Coffee Roasters has been boiling hot thanks to its Keurig single-cup brewing systems, popular in many offices and increasingly in private homes. Sales from the Keurig division have nearly doubled since last year, and Green Mountain's overall revenue has increased 86 percent during the recession, according to Capital IQ. Green Mountain's stock has been wired, too, rising nearly 190 percent since the start of 2008.

Monster Energy drinks. America must need a boost. The market for traditional sodas and juices is flat, but California-based Hansen Natural Corp. has been logging record sales and earnings this year thanks largely to its lineup of Monster Energy drinks. Starbucks has gotten into this trendy business, which has slightly cut into Hansen's sales. But Hansen has kept the Monster brand fresh with innovations like resealable cans and clever spinoffs like its Anti-Gravity and Killer-B varieties. Overall company revenue is up nearly 20 percent since 2007.

Presto cookers. It slices, dices, and makes money during a recession! The company that invented the Salad Shooter in 1988 is still turning out kitchen gizmos that appeal to nesting consumers doing more of their own cooking. National Presto Industries won't say which of its products are the biggest hits, lest the competition catch on, but Capital IQ's numbers show the company's revenue up nearly 12 percent since the recession began. Online bestsellers include a pizza oven, hot-air popcorn popper, and several types of pressure cookers.

Private-label salad dressing. The jar might say Kroger, Safeway, Wal-Mart, or Trader Joe's, but it's probably made by a private-label food company like Illinois-based TreeHouse Foods. Sales of cheaper store brands have surged during the recession, but consumers have also gotten used to higher quality. TreeHouse has capitalized on that trend, since it specializes in upscale dressings, sauces, soup, salsa, pickles, and organic products that top retailers can sell as their own. But you'll never know you're eating a TreeHouse product: The company won't say which foods it supplies to which stores. The secrecy seems to be good for business. Revenue is up 30 percent since the recession began, and the stock has soared 68 percent.

Transformers. Good and evil are still doing battle, which makes toy maker Hasbro a winner. The company's Transformers action figures have morphed into a franchise that includes two movies, a TV series, video games, comic books, and a wide range of spinoff toys that seem to be recessionproof. A sharp boost in entertainment licensing revenue from Transformers and a related stalwart, G.I. Joe, have helped offset reductions in other parts of Hasbro's earnings statement. Expect the bots to keep battling.

Tupperware. Pinched consumers are saving more of everything, including leftovers, which means these are boom times for food-storage products like Tupperware. The company has fancy new products tailored to the oxygen levels required by various fruits and vegetables you want to preserve in the fridge, along with old standbys for storing soup or bringing your lunch to work. With strong future prospects, the stock has been trading near 12-year highs.

Universal remotes. One thing we're not skimping on is TV time, and California-based Universal Electronics has benefited from several trends: the proliferation of TVs and video recorders, the growth of high-definition TV, and the transition from analog to digital signals. Universal makes remote control devices for big cable companies like Comcast, Time Warner, and Direct TV, specializing in the technology that allows one gizmo to communicate with multiple types of electronics. When cable subscribers upgrade their service, there's a good chance they get a new remote furnished by Universal. The company also sells its technology in retail stores under the Audiovox name. Revenue is up 12 percent since 2007, according to Capital IQ, and with HD penetration in homes still relatively low, Universal is one company whose future looks vibrant.

Yahoo: The Second Impression Aspects

1. The Aroma
Pheromones, nature's sniffable love potion #9, provide us with important information about compatibility. Though aftershave or cologne can mask a man's pheromones, a recent study showed that people tend to pick perfumes similar to their body's natural odor. "Perfumes enhance one's own scent and, thus, entice members of the opposite sex," says biological psychologist Dr. Nick Neave of England's Northumbria University. So if you like a man's cologne, it could be a sign that you're compatible -- at least biologically.

2. The Fashion
According to Michael Marinoff, a bartender at New York's Maritime Hotel, the modern Casanova wears many disguises. "Players have become much more subtle," he says. "It's all about fusion." If a guy looks like he's trying to merge many styles (e.g. a Brooks Brothers shirt with the sleeves ripped off), he could be attempting to multiply his options.

3. The Body Language
We can absorb as many as 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute, says body language expert Patti Wood, and can form impressions in as little as one-fortieth of a second with an accuracy rate of up to 80 percent. So, check him out. An overly broad stance could mean he's domineering. Are his feet pointing toward you? As Wood says, "Where the feet go, the heart follows." The timing of a smile is revealing, too. If he smiles before he speaks, he feels good about you; if his grin follows his speech, he could be faking it.

4. The Signals
For the women of the 78th Police Precinct of New York City, spotting a shady character comes down to "Gut feeling, with both men and perps." Signals of sketchiness include lack of eye contact and fidgeting. If his eyes roam over your body instead of resting on your face, you can probably guess his motives. And if he changes his gait or begins to perspire profusely upon spotting a cop, watch out -- "Oh, do they sweat."

5. The Face
Deborah Gunther, who practices the ancient Chinese art of facial reading, says there are countless ways to gauge a person's character through his face. A mouth full of curves is a sign of a sense of humor. Watch out for large, round nostrils, which could mean he can't hold onto money, or a jaw that is wider than his forehead, which signals a dictatorial personality. Thin lips can point to emotional repression, while fuller lips signal sensuality; and if you can see the inside of his lip when his mouth is closed, he may be promiscuous.

6. The Voice
Our reaction to a man's voice is often instinctive and immediate. According to Sam Chwat, director of New York Speech Improvement Services, the response is primal: "Humans react differently to an animal that whimpers than to an animal that roars." Nevertheless, Chwat notes, though one might interpret a soft voice as a sign of timidity, it could signal a willingness to listen. Similarly, an overly strident, forceful delivery might be his way of compensating for insecurity -- there could be a tiny mouse hidden inside that great big lion!

7. The Bling
The doorman at New York's Four Seasons Hotel is a longtime observer of the wealthy -- and those who wish they were. His wisdom: "If a man is too interested in flash, his money is probably poorly managed." According to his colleague up the street, at the Pierre, "The watch tells you everything." Don't forget to check out his feet: The doormen concur that brown shoes paired with a blue suit equal a bad tip.

8. The Aura
"Everyone is born psychic," says Tina Vlado at The Village Psychic in New York. "Some just more than others." Those of us less preternaturally inclined simply have to focus. "When you first meet someone," Vlado suggests, "stop for a second, breathe, and get a sense of the energy." Strong, silent types are usually easier to read. "When they're talking too much, it's almost like they're hiding something," she says.

9. The Topics
Adele Testani, the cofounder of HurryDate, is candid about first impressions. "You're not going to be able to tell if you want to marry him," she says. "But you can tell a lot about humor, attraction, and chemistry." In a speed-dating scenario, nerves run high. So pay less attention to what he's saying -- "My name is Harry, I enjoy sushi and Trivial Pursuit" -- than to which topics end up dominating his time. You'll learn more about his values while taking into account the limits of the situation.

Yahoo: Cracking the Bat Economy

Mark Teixeira took a healthy swing and … crack! A screaming line drive that cleared the left-field fence at Yankee Stadium for a game-winning home run in the playoffs against Minnesota. Somewhere down in the bayou, Jack Marucci smiled.

Of course, when all this started, Marucci wasn't looking to become bat maker to the stars. He simply wanted to carve a comfortable piece of lumber that his boy could use in T-ball. But it didn't take long for Marucci, the head trainer at LSU, to go from middle-aged dad to major league merchant. Now, he makes hand-crafted bats for about 60 players, including some of baseball's biggest sluggers: Teixeira, Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley, just to name a few.

"It's the hardest bat in the business," said Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Raul Ibanez, who hit 34 home runs this season. "A lot of guys use them. They've gone from not being a name bat to being the name. … Jack does a great job."

Marucci bats, recognizable by the right-leaning cursive 'M' on the barrel, still aren't very well known by the public because the man who founded the company doesn't even consider bat making his real job. He said he hasn't spent a dollar on marketing since former Cincinnati Reds shortstop Barry Larkin got the first major league hit with one of his bats in 2003. "Our marketing has been players," Marucci said. "My salesmen are Albert Pujols, Chase Utley - that's who sells the bats for us. We don't go and solicit."

The Phillies are serving as good advertisers during these playoffs - more than half of their starting lineup uses his bats. Robinson Cano, Melky Cabrera and Jerry Hairston Jr. of the Yankees and Casey Blake of the Dodgers are regular customers, too. Bats cost about $75 to $100 each - with the team picking up the tab - and the price is the same whether it's for a star or scrub.

Marucci recalled being good at using a lathe to make lamps in a ninth-grade wood shop class, but he never set out to become a bat maker. The Pittsburgh-area native has made his living in sports medicine, working with major college programs such as Florida State and now LSU.

His office is in LSU's football operations building, though it's starting to look a little like a baseball equipment manager's workspace. Wooden bats, many used by major leaguers and eventually sent back to Marucci as souvenirs, lean barrel head-down against the wall. One of them was used by shortstop Orlando Cabrera during the Boston Red Sox 2004 World Series run. The letters "CB" are inscribed on it, which Marucci said stands for "Curse Buster," a reference to the since-broken "Curse of the Bambino."

Marucci's experiment with bat making began early this decade, when he would spend summer evenings watching baseball with his son, Gino, then about seven years old. When Gino began playing T-ball, he wanted a wooden bat like the pros use rather than the metal ones wielded by other kids. Marucci quickly learned that finding a wooden bat appropriate for a Little Leaguer - one about 27 inches long - was virtually impossible. The bat companies he called said such a bat would have to be specially made.

At that point, Marucci figured he might be able to do it himself. He consulted then-LSU quarterback Matt Mauck, who played a few years of pro baseball before enrolling in school. Mauck had toured bat plants and vaguely remembered how they were made. Marucci said he found someone in Pennsylvania to supply cuts of ash and he hung an adult-size wooden bat in his shed to use as a model. "I finally got the geometry down," Marucci said. "That was the hardest thing when you're cutting bats by hand."

Marucci found the work therapeutic, a "nice outlet" from the stress of answering to big-time college football coaches who want to know when their hobbled stars will be ready to return to the gridiron. Bat making remained merely a hobby until Marucci scheduled a trip to St. Louis for a trainers' conference in 2003. Eduardo Perez, who played at Florida State when Marucci was there, was with the Cardinals then. Marucci called him seeking tickets and mentioned the bats he'd started making for his son.

Intrigued, Perez asked for one. So Marucci asked what model Perez used, then made a few to those specifications, brought them on the trip and met him outside the lobby of a St. Louis hotel.
Perez gripped one, saying, "You know what? This thing feels so good. I'm going to use it," Marucci recalled. "And I said, 'Now, I've seen seven-and eight-year-olds use it. This thing's going to blow up,"' Marucci said. "I don't know how this thing's going to hold up for a major league baseball player."

The Reds were in town to play the Cardinals. Perez used it in batting practice, then let Larkin try it. Perez was first to use it in a game and grounded out, but Larkin tried it in another game and singled. Before long, Pujols was using one, and word got around big league clubhouses quickly enough that when LSU's 2004 football season rolled around, Marucci was in his shed after hours - all night sometimes - making bats for Manny Ramirez, Cabrera and other major leaguers who wanted them for the playoffs.

Marucci hadn't even been licensed by Major League Baseball yet. That happened in 2005, and Marucci smirks while recalling the day an MLB representative informed him by phone that he'd been approved, and the confusion that followed when Marucci gave the same address for his home and his bat plant. "I told him, 'It's a six-by-nine shed where I make these bats,' and you could hear a silence over the phone," Marucci said.

Soon after, the operation expanded into a larger shed in the backyard of a new business partner, former LSU player and major leaguer Kurt Ainsworth. They then leased part of a shutter factory, then moved to an industrial site shared by a railroad tanker car shop, then eventually took over that entire space in 2007. Another former LSU player, Brett Laxton, makes bats for him full time.

Though the workspace is bigger, Marucci says the bats are still made in an "old-school" way. The maple and ash are supplied by Amish wood cutters in Pennsylvania who, according to Marucci, know nothing about baseball. "They know how to cut wood," Marucci said. "All (the supplier) cares about is keeping the grain straight."

The bats are not dipped, but stained by hand as well. Marucci has enough of a customer base now that he could focus on making bats full time and leave LSU, but he didn't get into the bat business to make a living. "I always believed, if somebody has a job, they should always have another interest because it keeps you more creative in your job, it keeps you healthier in your job, so you're not just focused on one thing," Marucci said. "I tell football coaches this all the time. So this isn't a secret. I think it just makes you better in what you do."

Marucci said the single-minded process of sculpting lumber, sanding it to perfection and handing it off to the best hitters in the world is where the real reward of bat making comes for him. "The best feeling is after you make it, you take it to a player and watch batting practice," Marucci said. "You hear that sound coming off … a loud, sharp, explosive noise."

It's the sound of a lined shot just inside the left-field foul pole, the sound that stirs a Yankee Stadium crowd into a frenzy on an October evening.

Coaches, Targets Debate Terrelle Pryor

Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel: “From the film grade standpoint, he probably had less minus plays than he did in the past couple weeks. Now, that's the good news. Here's the bad news: The minuses that we had were those triple minuses. No one has a disdain for turnovers any more than Terrelle. He hasn't been perfect in practice, but he's come along in practice. He hasn't been perfect in games, but he's come along in games. Now, did we have three or four moments that were impactful? There's no question about it.”

Jeannette High School Coach Ray Reitz: “They need Terrelle to run more. They've put the reins on him and they need to let him go free. When I watch Terrelle play right now, I see a robot. All I know is they promised him that they would teach him a pro-style system with both a shotgun and under center. Jim Tressel is a great coach and he's been running his offense successfully for 30 years. But I'd like to see some zone-read plays where with one mistake [by the defense], he can be gone. With some zone-read plays, they wouldn't be able to take away all the outside runs because he'd be a threat to go between the tackles. He would be a great wide receiver or even a great linebacker. But that doesn't mean you should move him from quarterback. In fact, I don't think he'd agree to a move to wide receiver. Give him time to grow. Put the ball in his hands and if there is a breakdown let him run. It doesn't look to me like he's relaxed. It doesn't look like he has rhythm. It doesn't look like he's comfortable. There is no question that Rich Rodriguez's offense, for example, would be more apt to suit Terrelle's skills. But Ohio State sold him on the idea that they would prepare him for the NFL and that they don't run 'zone-read' in the NFL. Jim Tressel is a great coach. But I can tell you there is more to Terrelle Pryor than what we've been seeing.”

Ohio State wide receiver DeVier Posey: “From his first pass, [people said] he's really not that good. But I really feel that's kind of hard for a guy like that, you know what I mean? There's only one Tim Tebow in this world and I don't really know what people want from [Pryor]. He's going to get better. He really can't do much worse. I feel like he's going to get better, he's going to be a great player. It's going to happen in time. And I just feel like if people are patient, and he's patient [he'll be great]. ... He's not going to be great tomorrow. But if he works on it, eventually in a year or two, or even maybe by the end of this year, he'll be a great player.”

Ohio State wide receiver Dane Sanzenbacher: “I don't think there was ever really a point in the game where anybody on the offense was thinking we needed a change.”

Jim Zorn: Hear The Rumors, Hold My Ego

Jim Zorn: “I need to have composure. I need to understand what the reality of the situation is, and I think our players expect me to rise up. We expect them to play under adverse conditions. We expect them to risk it all. ... I'm conscious of what's going on. I'm not naive about what's going on, and yet I have to just hold back on any feelings and make the decisions.”

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Dwayne Bowe (WR – Chiefs): 6 receptions, 109 yards
(Win: 14-6 at Redskins)

Tom Brady (QB – Patriots): 29/34, 380 yards, 6 td
(Win: 59-0 vs. Titans)

Drew Brees (QB – Saints): 23/30, 369 yards, 4 td
(Win: 48-27 vs. Giants)

Zach Miller (TE – Raiders): 6 receptions, 139 yards, 1 td
(Win: 13-9 vs. Eagles)

Sidney Rice (WR – Vikings): 6 receptions, 176 yards
(Win: 33-31 vs. Ravens)

Matt Schaub (QB – Texans): 28/40, 392 yards, 4 td
(Win: 28-17 at Bengals)

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition)

Matt Barkley (QB – USC): 19/29, 380 yards, 2 td
(Win: 34-27 at Notre Dame)

Zach Collaros (RB – Cincinnati): 10 carries, 132 yards, 2 td
(Win: 34-17 at South Florida)

Nick Foles (QB – Arizona): 40/51, 415 yards, 3 td
(Win: 43-38 vs. Stanford)

Montel Harris (RB – Boston College): 27 carries, 264 yards, 5 td
(Win: 52-20 vs. North Carolina State)

Mark Ingram (RB – Alabama): 24 carries, 246 yards, 1 td
(Win: 20-6 vs. South Carolina)

Detron Lewis (WR – Texas Tech): 5 receptions, 100 yards
(Win: 31-10 at Nebraska)

Dion Lewis (RB – Pittsburgh): 31 carries, 180 yards, 2 td
(Win: 24-17 at Rutgers)

Ryan Matthews (RB – Fresno State): 20 carries, 233 yards, 1 td
(Win: 41-21 vs. San Jose State)

Josh Nesbitt (RB – Georgia Tech): 23 carries, 122 yards, 3 td
(Win: 28-23 vs. Virginia Tech)

Keith Smith (WR – Purdue): 12 receptions, 125 yards
(Win: 26-18 vs. Ohio State)

Rodney Stewart (RB – Colorado): 24 carries, 108 yards, 2 td
(Win: 34-30 vs. Kansas)

Blair White (WR – Michigan State): 12 receptions, 186 yards, 2 td
(Win: 24-14 vs. Northwestern)

BCS: Florida, Alabama, Texas Supersede Spoilers

1. Florida (6-0)
2. Alabama (7-0)
3. Texas (6-0)
4. Boise State (6-0)
5. Cincinnati (6-0)
6. Iowa (7-0)
7. USC (5-1)
8. TCU (6-0)
9. LSU (5-1)
10. Miami-Florida (5-1)

“He Loved U’Conn”

Jasper Howard
(1989-2009)

Yahoo: Top Ten Interview Suggestions

In the book "You Are the Message," media executive Roger Ailes wrote that it takes only seven seconds to make a first impression. With a job on the line, the pressure to immediately impress is even more intense. No wonder we get flustered.

The good news is that no matter what goes wrong -- your fly is down, you spill your water, you mispronounce the company name -- it's all about how well you recover. "I had one candidate who sat on a chair, it flipped out from under her, and she landed on her back," says Ellen Reeves, author of "Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview?" "But, she picked herself up, picked up the chair, and made a joke. She knew how to recover -- and she got the job."

Below are 10 ways to potentially botch your interview, and the steps to take to right your sinking ship.

1. You're Sick the Day of the Interview
Don't try to be a martyr. Even if you just have a cold, you should call and reschedule. "I once interviewed someone who told me she threw up on her way over," says Reeves. "I was just thinking, 'Why didn't you cancel?'" You may be trying to prove your dedication, but employers would rather interview you when there isn't a risk you'll give them the flu.

2. You Have a Black Eye
If you're hurt in some way -- whether you have a black eye, broken leg, or visible stitches -- first assess whether you can give the interview the same effort as if you were well. You may want to call and explain your condition, especially if it's severe or requires handicap access. If you decide not to call, be prepared with an explanation. A general rule of thumb: sporting accidents are more acceptable than bar fights.

3. You Have a Nose Ring
Facial piercings and visible tattoos are tricky. The best bet is to cover them until you feel out the culture. If you're concerned your personal decor won't be tolerated, make an anonymous call and ask the receptionist if it's the correct environment for your nose ring. If the answer is no, remove/hide your piercing/tattoo. If you're unwilling, be prepared to get rejected for not fitting into the company culture.

4. You're Sweating
You're human. You perspire. But don't let interviewers see it. If you arrive at an interview spouting like a sprinkler, excuse yourself to the restroom to compose yourself -- and towel down. Sweaty palms don't make for a pleasant handshake. Run your hands under cold water to cool them off, then dry thoroughly.

5. You're Underdressed
Dressing to impress should be a no-brainer, but many people still struggle with what to wear. "Do your homework," says image consultant Lauren Solomon. "Be able to walk in and look like part of the team -- but one step above." Solomon suggests looking at peoples' clothes on the company website, asking the secretary, or posing the question on Twitter. If all those fail, wearing a suit is always a safe bet.

6. You're Late
There really is no excuse for being late to an interview. Scope out the route beforehand, and give yourself plenty of transit time. If you have to be late -- your car stalled, your train is running late, or there was a UFO landing outside the office -- call the interviewer, explain the situation, and ask if he still has time for you or would like to reschedule. Be respectful of recruiters' time and they'll remember it.

7. You're Early
While you should give yourself plenty of time to get to the interview, hanging out in the lobby for 30 minutes before the interview makes you look desperate. If you arrive early, sit and wait in a coffee shop, or just sit in your car. Don't go into the office until 10 minutes before the scheduled time.

8. You Misuse Your Lobby Time
Count your 10 minutes in the lobby as part of the interview. "The security guard, doorman, and receptionist will all be judging you," says Reeves. "If you're rude or dismissive, they will tattle, and there's a good chance you won't get the job." Talking on your cell about last night's exploits or reading a book are also bad ideas. Spend your time gathering information -- read available literature or look at company bulletin boards.

9. Your Handshake Is Lacking
A University of Iowa study found a solid handshake is more important than physical appearance when establishing an impression in an interview. Your grip should fall between the dead fish and the bone-crunching clasp. It sounds silly, but practicing with a friend is the best way to perfect your handshake. Also make sure to look your interviewer in the eye and say his name.

10. You're Bad at Small Talk
Think of some questions to ask your interviewer as you walk through the hall. If you notice something like a company picnic flyer, inquiring about that can be a great way to learn about company culture. Another safe topic is how the interviewer learned about the company. By showing interest in your interviewer's background, you'll put her at ease and establish a connection.

Big Five & Hot Five

Line OF The Morning

Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel

“One of the most effective ways of putting downward pressure on health care premium increases is a disincentive to ever-expansive and expensive plans. I find it ironic because some of the critics on the right were the people that called for, in fact, eliminating the tax exclusion. Now they've become the biggest defenders.”