Cash Contest

According to their campaigns, Senator John McCain and Senator Barack Obama both raised $22 million. Gentleman, we have an election.

Allen, Garnett, & Pierce: Champions Forever

Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce were excellent professionals. They were exemplary individuals. They were not winners. Combined, their regular season record was 1,139-1,389. Their postseason record was 52-68. They accrued only four division championships.

On Tuesday, the Boston Celtics garnered the NBA Championship. During their six contest conquest, Pierce averaged 21.8 points, 6.3 assists, and 4.5 rebounds per contest. Allen averaged 20.3 points and 5.0 rebounds per contest. Garnett averaged 18.2 points and 13.0 rebounds per contest. In their essential performance, each sparkled.

Unbelievably, Allen, Garnett, and Pierce have options. They can attempt recurrence. They can retire. Their decision is irrelevant. Henceforth, Allen, Garnett, and Pierce are champions. A reputation which is irrevocable.

A Generational Champion

Scott Kalitta
(1962-2008)

Blue Jays Answer? Cito’s Second Act

Certain eras and individuals define franchises. From 1949-1958, the New York Yankees embodied empire. From 1980-1988, the Los Angeles Lakers epitomized supremacy. Bobby Cox personified the Atlanta Braves. Michael Jordan symbolized the Chicago Bulls.

On Friday, the Toronto Blue Jays fired Manager John Gibbons. Former Toronto Manager Cito Gaston supplanted him. “From our standpoint we've underachieved,” said General Manager J.P. Ricciardi said. “We know we have a better team than this. Right now we want to see if we can spark this team and we think Cito is the guy to do it.”

During his tenure, Gibbons amassed a 305-305 record. In 2004, he was 20-30. In 2005, he was 80-82. In 2006, he was 87-75. In 2007, he was 83-79. Upon his firing, the Blue Jays stood 35-39. “The team just wasn't doing what was expected of it, and maybe changes were needed,” said Gibbons. “There was a lot expected this year, we came in riding high and speaking high. And that's not the results we're getting now.”

In his initial incarnation, Gaston logged a 683-636 ledger. He accrued two World Series championships, two American League championships, and four division championships. Unfortunately, Gaston concluded with four consecutive losing campaigns.

As previously stated, comebacks are unwise. They never rival the initial incarnation. Gaston typified Toronto. He may succeed. Unfortunately, history screams otherwise.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Barack Obama announced this week he'll visit Iraq and Afghanistan before the election in November. He said he wants to see an area that's been overrun by violent extremists. So, sounds like he already misses his old church.”

The Tonight Show

Bear Strength

On Friday, the Chicago Bears retained defensive tackle Tommie Harris. Harris signed a 4-year, $40 million contract. “We didn't try to go out there and talk about one another or dispute different things, and I feel like we did it all in-house,” Harris said. “I would never go out and talk about the Bears in front of the media or disrespect my team.”

Since January 30, 2007, Tank Johnson has received fourteen mentions. Conversely, Harris has tallied 114 tackles and 19.5 sacks. Harris is not flashy. He is not quotable. He is simply brilliant. His payday is deserved.

Death & All New York

Firings are imperfect. The majority are acrimonious and insensitive. The minority are compassionate and empathetic. With that stated, firings have protocol. They are private. They are prompt. They occur sans spectacle.

On Tuesday morning, the New York Mets fired Manager Willie Randolph. Bench Coach Jerry Manuel supplanted him. According to General Manager Omar Minaya, alteration was necessary. “Is it Willie only? No, it's us,” Minaya said. “I can't replace 25 players. And the players care. The players give 100 percent. It just wasn't working. I think the players were pressing.”

Billy Wagner was both shocked and unsurprised. “After winning yesterday's ballgame, that's [the firing] the last thing you have in mind,” he said. “You say, `Well, we're rolling. We might get back on track and we're going to start playing better It is a distraction every day. You try to keep away from the papers, but they're always in the clubhouse and you read and they're always talking about firing Willie, firing Willie.”

During his tenure, Randolph amassed a 302-253 record. He won one division championship. “I thought he [Minaya] was talking about whacking a couple of my coaches,” said Randolph. “That’s why I was stunned. I didn’t think it was going to happen. At the time, I felt the way he was talking to me, that I was pretty secure for the time being. Not the way I would have handled it.”

With the Chicago White Sox, Manuel logged a 500-471 ledger. He also won only one division championship. “Being a coach, the relationship is a lot different,” Manuel said. “But I think at the same time they have to respect that. And now that you’ve moved into the office of manager, you haven’t changed, but there’s a definite line in the sand that has to be drawn as to how they can approach you and how you can approach them.”

Last season, New York’s collapse was both epic and self-inflicted. The Mets did not hit. Their pitching imploded. They allowed nine seven-plus run contests. For this implosion, Randolph was sacrificed. Now, the New York masses wait… Their craving? Minaya’s head on a silver plate.

Seal of Ambition

NEW RULE

Imaginary paranoia is infuriating.

On Thursday, Senator Barack Obama rejected public financing. His rationale? Republican 527’s will smear him. Therefore, $300 million is necessary.

Intriguingly, 527’s have not assisted Senator John McCain. AFSCME and Moveon.org have assisted Obama. They have smeared McCain. Personally, I ignore public financing. President George Bush and Senator John Kerry both could have rejected public financing. Senator Obama’s indignation is apocryphal.

Worth A Read

The Apple Blog

Featuring the I-Mac, the I-Phone, and the I-Pod.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Pacman Jones?

According to Fox News, Americans respect both John McCain and Barack Obama. President Bush and Vice President Cheney? Only Fox News respects them.

Today’s top five or NBC’s finest (1) Brian Williams, (2) Chuck Todd, (3) Joe Scarborough,(4) Andrea Mitchell, (5) Chris Jansing

Seek the Press? New York Post, Keith Olbermann Spar

Tim Russert's body wasn't even cold in the ground before MSNBC anchors Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann started jockeying for his job, sources claim.

Matthews was heard loudly discussing what seemed to be his strategy for landing Russert's "Meet the Press" show at Wednesday's memorial reception for the NBC Washington bureau chief at the Kennedy Center in DC. After Brian Williams, Carl Bernstein, David Gergen, Barbara Walters and NBC brass eulogized their friend, Matthews huddled with an unidentified "agent type" and seemed to be plotting.

According to our spy, "Chris, with his loud voice, was going over a pitch for Tim's job. He was saying, 'You know, Tim's thing was this, and my thing is that.' It was unbelievably tacky."

But Matthews told Page Six that the man he was with was real-estate developer Bob Monahan and that they were talking about a speech Matthews will give soon to a group of mayors in Gettysburg, Pa. "We started fighting about it. He wanted me to talk about block grants. I want to give my general political speech," Matthews said. "I swear to God that's what happened."

Matthews denies he wants to host "Meet the Press": "I love what I do. My Sunday show is a perfect fit for me. I hope they find a perfect fit for 'Meet the Press.' "

Meanwhile, Matthews' MSNBC cable cohort Olbermann, who was also at the memorial, is "threatening to quit if he isn't installed as Russert's replacement," another insider said. "I know, it sounds ludicrous, but, then, Keith Olbermann is ludicrous."

A rep for MSNBC said, "All of this is utterly untrue."

Russert himself wanted Chuck Todd, the NBC News political director he hired, to succeed him, said one source, who added that MSNBC hosts don't stand a chance of landing "Meet the Press." The insider said, "They're cable. They're far too partisan. They have no gravitas. If gravitas is eight letters, they're about seven letters short."

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Hillary Clinton is taking a month off from her job as senator to rest up from her campaign. How does that work? You’ve been neglecting your job trying to get a better job. You don’t get that job, so you to take a month off from the job you were trying to get out of and go on vacation. Imagine if you tried that with your boss. “Hey boss, listen — I’ve been looking for another job, and I’m exhausted. I want to take a month off. Here’s where you can send my checks.”

The Tonight Show

Tiger Terminates 2008

Just days after winning the 2008 U.S. Open in a dramatic sudden-death playoff, Tiger Woods announced that he will be forced to undergo reconstructive Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) surgery on his left knee and will miss the remainder of the PGA TOUR season.

In addition to the knee surgery, Woods will require the time off to rehabilitate a double stress fracture of his left tibia that was discovered last month just prior to the Memorial Tournament. The stress fractures were attributed to Woods' intense rehabilitation and preparations for the U.S. Open. Doctors have assured Woods that the stress fractures will heal with time.

"I know much was made of my knee throughout the last week, and it was important to me that I disclose my condition publicly at an appropriate time. I wanted to be very respectful of the USGA and their incredibly hard work, and make sure the focus was on the U.S. Open," said Woods. "Now, it is clear that the right thing to do is to listen to my doctors, follow through with this surgery, and focus my attention on rehabilitating my knee."

A date for the knee surgery, as well as the necessary rehabilitation schedule, has not yet been determined. "While I am obviously disappointed to have to miss the remainder of the season, I have to do the right thing for my long-term health and look forward to returning to competitive golf when my doctors agree that my knee is sufficiently healthy," said Woods. "My doctors assure me with the proper rehabilitation and training, the knee will be strong and there will be no long-term effects."

Woods originally ruptured the ACL in 2007 following The Open Championship when he was running at his home in Orlando. At that point, he elected to not have surgery, and instead attempted to play through the pain. Following the injury, Woods went on to win five of the next six events he entered, including the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational, the PGA Championship, the BMW Championship, the TOUR Championship and the Target World Challenge, while also finishing second at the Deutsche Bank Championship. He carried that streak over into 2008, winning his first four events of the year, the Buick Invitational, the Dubai Desert Classic, WGC-Accenture Match Play and the Arnold Palmer Invitational.

In the fall of 2007, Woods decided to forego a number of playing opportunities to allow the knee time to heal in preparation for the 2008 season. He still experienced pain early in 2008, however, and in an effort to allow him to play through the remainder of the season, elected to have arthroscopic surgery immediately following the Masters to clean out cartilage damage. The cartilage damage in fact developed as a result of the ACL injury, and Woods' hope was that the arthroscopic surgery would get him through the remainder of the season and allow him to delay the ACL surgery until after the season.

"My rehabilitation schedule after the arthroscopic surgery was designed with the goal of returning to play at the Memorial, but the stress fractures that were discovered just prior to the tournament unfortunately prevented me from participating and had a huge impact on the timing for my return," said Woods. "I was determined though, to do everything and anything in my power to play in the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, which is a course that is close to where I grew up and holds many special memories for me. Although I will miss the rest of the 2008 season, I'm thrilled with the fact that last week was such a special tournament."

Tiger Woods, ranked number one in the world on the Official World Golf Ranking and leading the 2008 PGA Tour Money Leaders list, has 65 PGA TOUR victories to his credit, including 14 major championships, ranking him third all-time in wins, just eight behind Jack Nicklaus and 17 behind the all-time leader Sam Snead. This past week, Woods also celebrated his 500th week as the number one ranked player in the world, a position he first attained eleven years ago on June 15, 1997. "I would like to thank my fans and partners for their continual support and can assure everyone that I will be as dedicated to rehabilitating my knee as I am in all other aspects of my career," said Woods

Tiger Staggers, Struggles, Succeeds

Superstars perform. Despite expectations or situations, they glimmer, sparkle, and thrive. On Sunday and Monday, Tiger Woods confronted playoff forcing putts. No one thought he would miss.

On Monday, Woods survived the United States Open. Despite visible pain, Woods defeated Rocco Mediate in a nineteen hole, aggregate score playoff. Lee Westwood (Even) finished third. Robert Karlsson and D.J. Trahan (+2) knotted for fourth.

After opening with consecutive pars, Woods bogeyed hole three. He chalked consecutive pars. He then carded a pair of birdies. Following a bogey, Woods tallied two pars. He bogeyed eleven and twelve. He then birdied thirteen. Facing the abyss, Woods racked four pars. He birdied eighteen. He then won via par.

After opening with a bogey-par combination, Mediate birdied hole three. He carded another par-bogey. He then tallied four pars. Mediate bogeyed nine and ten. He then chalked consecutive pars. Eyeing elimination, Mediate responded. He birdied thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen. He then closed with three pars. Unfortunately, he lost via bogey.

Obviously, Wills Reed is the comparison. On May 8, 1970, Reed ignored injuries. He limped onto the court. He facilitated the NBA Championship. Sadly, Reid’s miracle is myth. He attempted only five shots. He scored only four points. Woods walked 21.7 miles. Woods’ triumph is incomparable.

Operation Malicious Mortgage

Since March 1, the FBI has arrested 406. The apprehended were mortgage miscreants. Simply stated, the sub-prime crisis has ravaged America. Retribution is overdue.

Mariners Mothball McLaren

On Thursday, the Seattle Mariners fired Manager John McLaren. During his tenure, McLaren logged a 68-88 ledger. Upon his firing, the Mariners stood 25-47. “We hadn't shown any improvement for the last couple of months. In fact, we were probably regressing,” said Interim General Manager Lee Pelekoudas. “To give the players a chance to improve ... we thought a different voice was needed.”

Since Lou Pinella’s exodus, the Mariners have collapsed. They have accrued a 415-464 record. Interim Manager Jim Riggleman and Pelekoudas must resurrect them. Otherwise, Seattle will reacquire irrelevance.

NEW RULE

Racism is repugnant.

David and Elizabeth Lawson have created the Sock Obama doll. You read correctly. A stylish, plush simian politician. David and Elizabeth Lawson’s racism is unoriginal. For decades, African-Americans have been labeled monkeys. This slur and the n-word are interchangeable.

Unfortunately, ignorance and prejudice are universal. Income and intelligence are irrelevant. The Sock Obama is not amusing, entertaining, or interesting. Yet, college graduates and rural voters have laughed. David and Elizabeth Lawson sought the lowest common denominator. They succeeded. Their childish and opportunistic racism offends America.

Fox News: Finding Weapons, Facing Reality

Weapons caches are turning up with increasing frequency in public places in Iraq — from a bakery to a fish farm — as recent security gains embolden more civilians to come forward with tips, U.S. and Iraqi military officials say. The odd locations of many of the discoveries reflect the fine line separating civilians from the Shiite and Sunni extremists who don't wear uniforms and often live among them. Many would-be tipsters had previously looked the other way because of intimidation or because they sought protection from local militias.

"These are people who in the past weren't willing to come forth because of the threats from militias," said Maj. Gen. Jeff Hammond, the top commander of U.S. forces in Baghdad. "Now they're telling the Iraqi army they've had it with the militia. 'Don't leave. We want you to stay here.'"

The chief Iraqi military commander in Baghdad, Gen. Abboud Qanbar, said the quality of the tips also has improved. "Now we are given accurate information and this has enabled us to discover large caches," he told reporters Wednesday. "Now the citizens are cooperating with us. Thus our work is getting better."

Cash rewards are another motivation for tipsters. For the military, it's money well spent: So far this year, U.S. and Iraqi forces have cleared and found 4,950 caches, compared with 6,963 in all of 2007, according to U.S. military figures. Skeptics, however, warn the weapons found to date are likely a small portion of the overall arsenal. They point out that insurgents on both sides of the sectarian divide have proven adept at getting new arms.

"It seems to me that the amount that has been confiscated is small relative to the amount that might be out there," says John Pike, a military and security analyst who runs the respected Web site GlobalSecurity.org. "It is an essential part of a counterinsurgency strategy. But I just don't see that it has the potential to materially contribute to victory ... because it's just so easy to resupply."

But U.S. military officials point to growing public confidence in recent military successes in Shiite militia strongholds. A U.S.-funded Sunni revolt against al-Qaida in Iraq, in which former fighters joined forces with the Americans, also has provided troops with more information about hiding places. The trend is particularly evident in Sadr City, a sprawling district in northeastern Baghdad that houses 2.5 million people and has long been dominated by the Mahdi Army militia of anti-U.S. cleric Muqtada al-Sadr.

Fierce fighting broke out in the area after the U.S.-backed government launched a crackdown in late March, but the clashes ebbed after al-Sadr called for a cease-fire. Usually acting on tips, Iraqi soldiers have rounded up rockets, grenades and other explosive devices from mosques, hospitals and schoolhouses in the aftermath. Many of those weapons were laid out for reporters at the former Iraqi air base in southeastern Baghdad on Wednesday as the U.S. and Iraqi military showed off their recent gains but warned there was more work to be done.

Iraqi soldiers, with U.S. troops staying on the outskirts of the district, have discovered 51 caches containing 7,820 weapons and other munitions in Sadr City between the start of the operation and June 16, according to figures provided by the U.S. military. "I don't think it's the bulk of it, but I think it put a big dent in their destructive power," U.S. Maj. Mark Cheadle said, gesturing to the rows of rusty grenade launchers and shiny copper plates used to make powerful roadside bombs known as explosively formed penetrators, or EFPs, which allegedly come from Iran.

Also lined up were an ambulance, buses and several other vehicles that the Iraqi military said had been used to transport weapons and stage kidnappings and other violence before they were confiscated. But it is the bizarre locations of some of the discoveries that are attracting the most attention. One recent tip led U.S. soldiers to a bakery in a Shiite militia stronghold in eastern Baghdad. The troops had to fight their way into the storefront, where they found what the military called an "EFP-making factory."

In a feed warehouse in another Shiite area of Baghdad, Iraqi soldiers found 90 122 mm rockets, EFP components, mortar shells and an American unmanned drone that apparently had been downed by mechanical failure. And in a mainly Sunni area about 20 miles southwest of the capital, U.S. and Iraqi soldiers pulled six 120 mm mortar rounds from the murky waters of a fish farm.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Tiger Woods?

According to a study, gay genes increase fertility. How is Ryan Seacrest not pregnant?

Today’s top five or NHL’s finest franchises (1) Red Wings, (2) Penguins, (3) Rangers, (4) Sharks, (5) Senators

Fox News: Fashionably Pregnant?

With films such as "Juno" scoring well among critics and moviegoers last year and the media's great attention to the birth Thursday of 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears' daughter, many say teen pregnancy is being glamorized in the media. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and FOX News contributor, said factors such as these may have played into a reported pregnancy pact made by girls at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass., where the pregnancy rate has quadrupled in the past year.

School officials were baffled at first, but they soon discovered nearly half of the 17 expectant moms had made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies, school principal Joseph Sullivan told Time.com. "It's shocking," Ablow said. "But the other thing we should realize is that we are hot on the heels of Jamie Lynn Spears deciding to start a family and of mass media embracing the notion and waiting with bated breath for her baby."

Ablow talked to FOXNews.com just hours before it was announced that Jamie Lynn had given birth in Mississippi. The father is Casey Aldridge, a 19-year-old from Liberty, Miss. He and Jamie Lynn announced their engagement several months ago. Because teens increasingly have more friends on MySpace than they do in real life, it’s no wonder they are searching for something more meaningful, Ablow said.

"In a world that is so technologically based, there will be predictable push-back from young people," Ablow said. "They want to remind themselves that they are alive and human. One of the ways people do this is that they reproduce."

The pregnancy boom in Gloucester High is an extreme example of what’s happening across the country. According to the latest numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the nation’s teen birth rate increased in 2006 for the first time in 14 years. "People are increasingly going to stumble around to reconnect with something that is genuine and real," Ablow said. "The obvious things people stumble around are sex, a desperate search for love and things like piercing and tattooing, which is an epidemic among young people."

Unfortunately, the realization that caring for a fussy baby is not what the teens really want or need often comes too late, Ablow said. Because of this, he said, parents need to give their kids more opportunities to genuinely express themselves. "Otherwise, teenagers will find another way to express themselves that will ultimately disappoint their parents and cause them pain."

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“A new poll shows less than 1 out of 4 Americans now thinks President Bush is doing a good job. That means when President Bush is having dinner with his wife and two daughters, he’s the only one at the table who thinks he’s doing a good job.”

The Tonight Show

President Discusses Energy Exploration

President Bush Complete Text

Obama Targets Osama, Torches McCain

Barack Obama: “First of all, I think there is an executive order out on Osama bin Laden’s head. And if I’m president, and we have the opportunity to capture him, we may not be able to capture him alive.”

“What would be important would be for us to do it in a way that allows the entire world to understand the murderous acts that he’s engaged in and not to make him into a martyr, and to assure that the United States government is abiding by basic conventions that would strengthen our hand in the broader battle against terrorism.”

“I refuse to be lectured on national security by people who are responsible for the most disastrous set of foreign policy decisions in the recent history of the United States. Osama bin Laden and his top leadership — the people who murdered 3,000 Americans — have a safe-haven in northwest Pakistan, where they operate with such freedom of action that they can still put out hate-filled audiotapes to the outside world. That’s the result of the Bush-McCain approach to the war on terrorism.”

Saudi Hallelujah

In July, Saudi Arabia will increase production. Their objective? 200,000 barrels per day. Amidst an international crisis, Saudi Arabia has showcased leadership. I applaud them.

Junior Scores

On Sunday, Dale Earnhardt Jr. garnered the Life Lock 400. For Hendrick Motorsports, Earnhardt’s intial victory. Congratulations Dale.

NEW RULE

Stupidity reigns.

Last week, Barack Obama unveiled fight the smear.com. The website’s objective? Dispel falsehoods, lies, and rumors. This is pathetic. Obama is patriotic. He is not muslim. Unfortunately, idiots spread these rumors. Idiots can vote.

Worth A Read

Gossip on Sports

Covering the antics, rumors, and scandals.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be New York Mets Manager?

Last week, Macrida Patterson filed a lawsuit. Allegedly, Victoria’s Secret’s “low rise v-string” injured her. Obviously, lawsuit reform is unnecessary.

Today’s top five or finest wireless carriers (1) Verizon, (2) AT&T, (3) Nokia, (4) Sprint, (5) Revol

Yahoo: Healthcare Haven

Worried about the effect of the recession on your career prospects? Don't be. Even in an economic downturn, one sector is staying strong -- health care.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' (BLS) Current Employment Statistics, health care employment continued to grow in the first few months of 2008. During the past 12 months, the health care sector overall has grown by 363,000 jobs, making it the largest industry in the United States, accounting for 13.5 million jobs.

Better yet, the health care sector will generate 3 million new jobs by 2016, more than any other industry -- thanks, in part, to aging baby boomers and increased numbers of retirees. Plus, most positions will require less than four years of college education. Here's a look at the four accessible health care jobs -- and the education or training necessary to break into this growing field.

Registered Nurse
Registered nurses are in high demand. If you're nurturing, detail oriented, and capable of staying calm in stressful situations, a career in nursing may prove a good fit. By 2010, 1.7 million nurses will be needed, but only 635,000 will be available. Demand is highest for nurses in emergency room, operating room, intensive care, pediatrics and labor and delivery room. Median salary in 2006 was $57,280. To become a nurse, enroll in a nursing program, which range from bachelor's, associate degrees, and diplomas.

Health Information Technicians
Were you the designated "note taker" in class? If you're super organized and meticulous to boot, a career in health information technology may suit you. Health information technologists maintain the medical records for patients -- including observations of their general health, medical history and symptoms, X-rays, diagnoses, surgery and treatments. Don't especially like working with people? This is one of the few careers in the health field where you can hunker down in your office, during day, evening, or night shifts. Computer skills are essential in analyzing data. Health information technicians typically earn around $29,290, according to latest BLS figures, and have an associate degree from a community or junior college. Many employers prefer to hire technicians who have become Registered Health Information Technicians (RHIT).

Dental Hygienists
Dental hygienists earn an average of $64,740 and enjoy a relatively "clean" job fostering good oral hygiene by scraping teeth, applying fluoride or sealants, and sometime taking and developing X-rays. Perks often include flexible hours; more than half of all dental hygienists work part time. Many dental hygienists arrange their schedule so they only work two to three days a week. As for educational requirements, you'll need an associate degree or certificate from an accredited dental hygiene school and a state license.

Health Service Managers
Health service managers, also known as health care administrators, manage the business end of specific clinical departments or entire health care facilities. They can be in charge of millions of dollars worth of equipment and hundreds of employees. They must be good managers with an understanding of finance and accounting. The job generally requires some travel and overtime, and pays a median salary of $73,340, according to the BLS. While a master's degree in health services administration, public health, or business administration is standard, a bachelor's degree can land you an entry-level job at smaller facilities.

Michelle Obama Guest Hosts “The View”

Democrats… Disgust & Distort

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Al Gore has now endorsed Barack Obama. This is great — it gives the Obama campaign a much-needed shot of boredom.”

Late Show with David Letterman

North Carolina: Presumptive Champions

On Monday, Wayne Ellington, Danny Green, and Ty Lawson renounced their NBA eligibility. Their decision was correct. Ellington, Green, and Lawson were not prepared. Give their presence, North Carolina is the national championship favorite.

Mariners Bounce Bavasi

On Monday, the Seattle Mariners fired General Manager Bill Bavasi. Concerning his rationale, CEO Howard Lincoln was blunt. “Clearly the high expectations we had for the team going into the season have fallen by the wayside,” Lincoln said. “It's clear that we need a new leadership, a new direction, a fresh approach. We're going to make whatever changes necessary to get this thing turned around as quick as possible and nothing is off the table.”

Since Lou Pinella’s exodus, the Mariners have collapsed. They have accrued a 415-464 record. Hopefully, Lee Pelekoudas can resurrect them.

New England Renovation

On Monday, the Houston Texans signed Roosevelt Colvin. Since February, the New England Patriots have discarded Troy Brown, Colvin, Randall Gay, Asante Samuel, Junior Seau, and Donte Stallworth. Clearly, they are reinventing themselves.

NEW RULE

Parenting is not abuse.

On Monday, Brice and Sandra McMillan were charged with murder and child abuse. As discipline, they tied their son to a tree. I could eviscerate procreation. Instead, I will state the obvious… Guidance and interaction is parenting. Grounding and timeouts are punishment. Abuse is criminal.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be my prediction?

According to historians, John McCain cannot win. Barack Obama employs historians?

Today’s top five or still winless (1) Tony Stewart, (2) Jeff Gordon, (3) Kevin Harvick, (4) Kurt Busch, (5) Greg Biffle

Pentagon’s Tactics Were Tasteless

Senator Lindsey Graham: “The guidance (administration lawyers) provided will go down in history as some of the most irresponsible and shortsighted legal analysis ever provided to our nation's military and intelligence communities.”

Barack Obama’s Convenient Score

Al Gore Endorsement Complete Text

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Gay marriage became legal today here in California. For the first time ever, both of the people getting married will actually be excited about the wedding.”

The Tonight Show

Tiger Woods Forces Playoff… Anyone Not Expect This?

Seattle Truth

Attorney Paul Lawrence: “These are all sophisticated businessmen who know what it means to sign and assume a contract. They can afford the losses they knew were coming. Very clearly he [Clay Bennett] understood seven ways from Sunday the very issues he is now trying to use to get him out of his lease.”

“Daisy Ad” Creator

Tony Schwartz
(1923-2008)

NEW RULE

Catastrophe is possible.

This week, the Chicago Bulls will audition Michael Beasley and Derrick Rose. Obviously, both possess immense talent. However, one is wrong. The Portland Trailblazers selected Sam Bowie. The San Diego Chargers selected Ryan Leaf. They were not only incorrect… They imperiled their franchises.

Worth A Read

Race 4 2008

Blogging the most exciting race of a generation.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Chris Henry?

On June 6, a sixteen-year-old survived a lightning strike. On June 7, she won the lottery. Miley Cyrus is lucky.

Today’s top five or unknown NHL Coaches (1) Peter DeBoer, (2) John Stevens, (3) Craig Hartsburg, (4) Don Waddell, (5) Alain Vigneault

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Yahoo: Renters Confront Credit Crisis

The day before her husband was deployed to the Middle East by the U.S. Air Force, Marketa Johnson got word that her family would be evicted from their rented home. It did not matter that the Johnsons had never missed a rent payment and had signed a two-year lease. The property owner was facing foreclosure and so Johnson simply packed her bags.

But last month, when she got another eviction notice and was ordered to leave her new home, she decided to fight. "We military are good tenants," said Johnson whose husband, Derrick, is an Air Force pilot. "We always take care of the property. We were never late, never. I don't see a reason that we should not stay there."

The U.S. housing crisis that has caused a spike in foreclosures has meant not only anguish for delinquent mortgage borrowers but heartache for renters in good standing. Almost one in five recent foreclosures have been against mortgage borrowers who did not live in the home, according to a snapshot from the Mortgage Bankers Association.

The true rate is probably even higher, the trade group says, in part because many investors who bought homes during the recent boom wanted the funding advantages of being classed as owner-occupied. Depending on the state and how soon the tenant is notified of foreclosure proceedings, renters may have anywhere from a couple of months to less than a week to leave a home.

"If the tenant first learns about foreclosure when the sheriff places the writ of possession on the door, they might only have a few days," said Jeffrey Hearne, an attorney with Legal Services of Greater Miami.

While the types of cases vary, lawyers who help troubled renters say there is no doubt that the problem is worsening. One in four housing-related calls to Legal Services of Greater Miami's renter advocacy line have been from distressed renters in recent weeks, while the group rarely heard such complaints last year, Hearne said.

Nevada Legal Services, which is giving Johnson legal advice, has also seen a rise in calls and estimates that 5,000 renting families have been displaced in the past 18 months. In the Las Vegas area, many of those families have military ties and are already facing many other challenges. "I know that this has been an issue for command because it is so disruptive to our mission," said Michael Estrada, a civilian spokesman for Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada, where more than three-quarters of the 8,000 airmen live off-base.

It is not uncommon for military families to deal with an eviction while a soldier is on deployment, Estrada said. "This is often a stress for the caregiver in a family," he said.

Tenants rights groups say they are frustrated that mortgage servicers seem so eager to put out paying tenants once the property falls into their hands. "Lenders are just hard-wired not to deal with a tenant," said Anna Marie Johnson, the director of Nevada Legal Services. "We did speak with one bank lawyer who said the liability is so extreme that it's worth it to just let the house stay empty."

In a now-common offer dubbed "cash for keys," many mortgage servicers will pay tenants to abandon properties in an orderly way. Johnson has not received such an offer and does not know where her fight will end but she hopes to remain in the house until the current lease ends in 12 months. "People have asked 'What do you want?"' she said, sitting with a notebook bulging with documents she has collected to support her case. "We want to be able to stay."

Television Remembers Tim Russert

Since Tim Russert’s death, the tributes and tributaries have echoed. Wolf Blitzer, Tom Brokaw, Sean Hannity, Andrea Mitchell, Keith Olbermann, Charlie Rose, Bob Schieffer, George Stephanopoulos, and Chris Wallace… Your words were exemplary.

Line of the Morning

Tim Russert

“If it’s Sunday, it’s Meet the Press.”