Saturday, July 26, 2008

Yahoo: United States Winning Iraq War

The United States is now winning the war that two years ago seemed lost. Limited, sometimes sharp fighting and periodic terrorist bombings in Iraq are likely to continue, possibly for years. But the Iraqi government and the U.S. now are able to shift focus from mainly combat to mainly building the fragile beginnings of peace — a transition that many found almost unthinkable as recently as one year ago.

Despite the occasional bursts of violence, Iraq has reached the point where the insurgents, who once controlled whole cities, no longer have the clout to threaten the viability of the central government. That does not mean the war has ended or that U.S. troops have no role in Iraq. It means the combat phase finally is ending, years past the time when President Bush optimistically declared it had. The new phase focuses on training the Iraqi army and police, restraining the flow of illicit weaponry from Iran, supporting closer links between Baghdad and local governments, pushing the integration of former insurgents into legitimate government jobs and assisting in rebuilding the economy.

Scattered battles go on, especially against al-Qaida holdouts north of Baghdad. But organized resistance, with the steady drumbeat of bombings, kidnappings, assassinations and ambushes that once rocked the capital daily, has all but ceased. This amounts to more than a lull in the violence. It reflects a fundamental shift in the outlook for the Sunni minority, which held power under Saddam Hussein. They launched the insurgency five years ago. They now are either sidelined or have switched sides to cooperate with the Americans in return for money and political support.

Gen. David Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, told The Associated Press this past week there are early indications that senior leaders of al-Qaida may be considering shifting their main focus from Iraq to the war in Afghanistan. Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, told the AP on Thursday that the insurgency as a whole has withered to the point where it is no longer a threat to Iraq's future. "Very clearly, the insurgency is in no position to overthrow the government or, really, even to challenge it," Crocker said. "It's actually almost in no position to try to confront it. By and large, what's left of the insurgency is just trying to hang on."

Shiite militias, notably the Mahdi Army of radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, have lost their power bases in Baghdad, Basra and other major cities. An important step was the routing of Shiite extremists in the Sadr City slums of eastern Baghdad this spring — now a quiet though not fully secure district. Al-Sadr and top lieutenants are now in Iran. Still talking of a comeback, they are facing major obstacles, including a loss of support among a Shiite population weary of war and no longer as terrified of Sunni extremists as they were two years ago.

Despite the favorable signs, U.S. commanders are leery of proclaiming victory or promising that the calm will last. The premature declaration by the Bush administration of "Mission Accomplished" in May 2003 convinced commanders that the best public relations strategy is to promise little, and couple all good news with the warning that "security is fragile" and that the improvements, while encouraging, are "not irreversible."

Iraq still faces a mountain of problems: sectarian rivalries, power struggles within the Sunni and Shiite communities, Kurdish-Arab tensions, corruption. Any one of those could rekindle widespread fighting. But the underlying dynamics in Iraqi society that blew up the U.S. military's hopes for an early exit, shortly after the fall of Baghdad in April 2003, have changed in important ways in recent months. Systematic sectarian killings have all but ended in the capital, in large part because of tight security and a strategy of walling off neighborhoods purged of minorities in 2006.

That has helped establish a sense of normalcy in the streets of the capital. People are expressing a new confidence in their own security forces, which in turn are exhibiting a newfound assertiveness with the insurgency largely in retreat. Statistics show violence at a four-year low. The monthly American death toll appears to be at its lowest of the war — four killed in action so far this month as of Friday, compared with 66 in July a year ago. From a daily average of 160 insurgent attacks in July 2007, the average has plummeted to about two dozen a day this month. On Wednesday the nationwide total was 13. Beyond that, there is something in the air in Iraq this summer.

In Baghdad, parks are filled every weekend with families playing and picnicking with their children. That was unthinkable only a year ago, when the first, barely visible signs of a turnaround emerged. Now a moment has arrived for the Iraqis to try to take those positive threads and weave them into a lasting stability. The questions facing both Americans and Iraqis are: What kinds of help will the country need from the U.S. military, and for how long? The questions will take on greater importance as the U.S. presidential election nears, with one candidate pledging a troop withdrawal and the other insisting on staying.

Iraqi authorities have grown dependent on the U.S. military after more than five years of war. While they are aiming for full sovereignty with no foreign troops on their soil, they do not want to rush. In a similar sense, the Americans fear that after losing more than 4,100 troops, the sacrifice could be squandered. U.S. commanders say a substantial American military presence will be needed beyond 2009. But judging from the security gains that have been sustained over the first half of this year — as the Pentagon withdrew five Army brigades sent as reinforcements in 2007 — the remaining troops could be used as peacekeepers more than combatants.

As a measure of the transitioning U.S. role, Maj. Gen. Jeffery Hammond says that when he took command of American forces in the Baghdad area about seven months ago he was spending 80 percent of his time working on combat-related matters and about 20 percent on what the military calls "nonkinetic" issues, such as supporting the development of Iraqi government institutions and humanitarian aid. Now Hammond estimates those percentage have been almost reversed. For several hours one recent day, for example, Hammond consulted on water projects with a Sunni sheik in the Radwaniyah area of southwest Baghdad, then spent time with an Iraqi physician/entrepreneur in the Dora district of southern Baghdad — an area, now calm, that in early 2007 was one of the capital's most violent zones.

"We're getting close to something that looks like an end to mass violence in Iraq," says Stephen Biddle, an analyst at the Council of Foreign Relations who has advised Petraeus on war strategy. Biddle is not ready to say it's over, but he sees the U.S. mission shifting from fighting the insurgents to keeping the peace.

Although Sunni and Shiite extremists are still around, they have surrendered the initiative and have lost the support of many ordinary Iraqis. That can be traced to an altered U.S. approach to countering the insurgency — a Petraeus-driven move to take more U.S. troops off their big bases and put them in Baghdad neighborhoods where they mixed with ordinary Iraqis and built a new level of trust.

Army Col. Tom James, a brigade commander who is on his third combat tour in Iraq, explains the new calm this way: "We've put out the forest fire. Now we're dealing with pop-up fires."

It's not the end of fighting. It looks like the beginning of a perilous peace. Maj. Gen. Ali Hadi Hussein al-Yaseri, the chief of patrol police in the capital, sees the changes. "Even eight months ago, Baghdad was not today's Baghdad," he says.

Obama Cancels Over Publicity, Republicans Publicize

Green Bay Chooses… Twelve Over Four

On Saturday, the Green Bay Packers chose a quarterback. Aaron Rodgers is their starter. Green Bay’s decision is correct. Brett Favre retired. He was not coerced. He was not shoved. He vacated. His arrogance, conceit, and narcissism are ridiculous. Favre’s act is exhausted. Green Bay has ignored him. The NFL should ignore him.

Senatorial Saviors

On Saturday, the Senate passed foreclosure legislation. I applaud them. As previously stated, President Bush, Congress, and the federal government must act. Otherwise, the mortgage crisis will eviscerate the economy.

Cleveland Collapse Continues

On Saturday, the Cleveland Indians traded third baseman Casey Blake to the Los Angeles Dodgers. As reciprocation, the Indians received minor league catcher Carlos Santana and minor league pitcher Jon Meloan. Last season, the Indians achieved the American League Championship Series. This season, they are 45-56. Their reversal is both inept and stunning.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“To give you an idea how bad things are for John McCain right now, the only way he could get less coverage is if he got a primetime show on NBC.”

The Tonight Show

Friday, July 25, 2008

Worthless Weasels Embarrass Obama

On Tuesday, Senator Barack Obama visited Israel’s Western Wall. On Friday, Maariv published his private prayer. This newspaper’s actions are callous, heartless, and reprehensible. The author is cruel. The editor is inhuman.

Obama’s prayer was private. His sentiment was silent. Despite his candidacy, Obama merits personal moments. He is human. Smear merchants publish private prayers. Newspapers must never.

Satellite One

On Friday, the Federal Communications Commission approved a Sirius-XM merger. As previously stated, Sirius subscribers may not switch. However, one choice is one choice. How is that competition?

New Yorker, Take Notes

Senator John McCain: “We rejected the audacity of hopelessness, and we were right. Above all, America would have been humiliated and weakened. Terrorists would have seen our defeat as evidence America lacked the resolve to defeat them. As Iraq descended into chaos, other countries in the Middle East would have come to the aid of their favored factions, and the entire region might have erupted in war.”

Hate Kills

On Friday, seventeen-year-old Colin Walsh and sixteen-year-old Brandon Piekarsky were charged with murder and ethnic intimidation. Allegedly, Walsh and Piekarsky accosted Luis Ramirez. They assaulted and slurred him. Walsh and Piekarsky epitomize xenophobia. They are cruel. They are sadistic. They warrant figurative castration.

Yahoo: Struggling Collegians Embrace Food Bank

Just blocks from the University of Washington, a line of people shuffle toward a food pantry, awaiting handouts such as milk and bread. For years, the small University District pantry has offered help to the working poor and single parents in this neighborhood of campus rentals. Now rising food prices are bringing another group: Struggling college students. "Right now, with things the way they are, a lot of students just can't afford to eat," said Terry Capleton, who started a Facebook group called "I Ain't Afraid to be on Food Stamps" when he was a student at Benedict College in South Carolina.

Some of the students are working their way through college with grants, loans and part-time jobs. Others are just reluctant to ask parents for more money. "More and more, it's just the typical traditional student, about 18 to 22, that's feeling this crunch," said Larry Brickner-Wood, director of the Cornucopia Food Pantry at the University of New Hampshire. "There's definitely been an increase in usage and demand. We're seeing more and more students that have never used the pantry before."

In the past year, the price of groceries has jumped nearly 5 percent, the highest increase in nearly two decades. The cost of some staples has shot up by more than 30 percent. At the University District pantry in Seattle, demand has risen roughly 25 percent this year. About 150 students visit each week during the school year. Membership in Capleton's Facebook group has steadily climbed, too, and sparked other online groups with names such as "I'm in College and I got on Food Stamps."

"A lot of students can't call their mom every day to ask for that extra fifty dollars," said Capleton, 24. "They're on their own."

Qualifying for aid at community food banks is usually easy. Most of the charities just require users to show identification proving they live in the area. The Community College of Denver runs its own food-assistance program, which has seen demand double in the past year. "It's the highest I've ever seen," said Jerry Mason, the school's director of student life. "Our assumption is it's because of the high price of food."

In response to demand, the school doubled the pantry's $3,000 annual budget. Food stamps are distributed through a Department of Agriculture program administered by the states. But the agency does not track whether applicants are enrolled in college, so the number of students is unknown. Students generally are eligible for food stamps if they qualify for a state or federally funded work-study program; work at least 20 hours per week; have a child under the age of 12; or are taking employer-sponsored job training classes.

Deirdre Wilson, a junior at Francis Marion University in Florence, S.C., applied for food stamps in November because her paycheck from a work-study job didn't stretch far enough to cover her expanding grocery bill. "Before, when I lived in the dorms, I was on the meal plan," the 20-year-old said. "Now that I'm in the apartment, I have to pay for food, and I have to pay my cell phone bill. I don't make enough to pay for both."

John Camp, lead analyst for Washington state's food stamp program, said the requirements for assistance disqualify many students and dissuade others from applying. People ages 18 to 25 make up roughly 8 percent of the state's food stamp users. In New Hampshire, some students are reluctant to apply for government aid. "There is a stereotype that well, if they're in college, they can afford to eat," said Brickner-Wood, the food pantry director. "But there are some students who have hardly any disposable income, and because of that, the food budget suffers. They either eat really badly, or they just don't eat enough."

Standing outside a campus market, University of Washington junior Doug McManaway wonders how he will afford to pay for groceries through the summer term. "I'm already really poor and on a really tight budget," he said. "I have to pay rent, and after that there isn't much left over."

With just $100 left to last him through the end of the month, the 20-year-old said a food bank might be his best option. "It kind of grosses me out," McManaway said. "But if my parents say, 'No, we're not going to give you any more money,' it may be a last resort."

Glenn Scores Sabbatical

On Friday, the Dallas Cowboys released Terry Glenn. Despite injuries, Glenn’s talent remains evident. In my opinion, Glenn’s career is not concluded.

Dara Torres Coach Suffering

On Friday, United States Olympic Swim Coach Michael Lohberg was diagnosed with aplastic anemia. The Lohberg family has our thoughts and prayers.

HBO Highlights Trotters, Tumblers

On Tuesday, HBO’s Real Sports discussed equestrian and gymnastics. Both are glamorous. Both are also perilous. The United States Olympic Committee must alter them. They must restrain them. Equestrians and gymnasts are suffering. They merit attention.

Office Depot Declines Victory, Vacates Carl Edwards

Next season, Office Depot and Old Spice will sponsor Tony Stewart. Additionally, Stewart will drive number fourteen. As previously stated, Stewart may succeed. He may score another championship. In my opinion, Stewart has won his final race.

Snickers: I Approve Your Message

NEW RULE

Thought proceeds action.

This weekend, New York City Police traversed Harlem. Upon their antenna, an African-American doll’s head. Seriously? Henceforth, everyone must think. They must can their humor. They must consider others. America needs compassion, empathy, and tolerance. Unfortunately, hatred is simpler.

Worth A Read

Bad Left Hook

Covering the sweet science.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Iraq’s Olympians?

According to a former astronaut, aliens exist. NASA is aware. When did Paris Hilton retire?

Today’s top five or this weekend’s attractions (1) Cotto vs. Margarito, (2) All State 400 at the Brickyard, (3) Meet the Press, (4) Generation Kill, (5) Arena Bowl

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Barack Obama Transcends Candidacy

Ich Bin Ein President

Eyeing 200,000, Senator Barack Obama addressed international collaboration. His rhetoric was inspirational and stirring. His visual was impressive and majestic. Officially, Obama remains a candidate. Unofficially, President Obama is assumed. Berlin did not alter this.

John McCain: We Are Candidates

Senator John McCain: “Well, I'd love to give a speech in Germany ... a political speech or a speech that maybe the German people would be interested in. But I would much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for the office of the presidency.”

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“LA has made the list of America’s most walkable cities. Everybody walks here… O.J. Simpson walked. Robert Blake walked.”

The Tonight Show

Realty Challenge

On Thursday, the housing inventory level reached 11.1. Translation? Selling every house would require eleven months. One must wonder… is economic recovery possible?

Joe Pa Eternal?

Joe Paterno: “Obviously, you get tired of answering the same question: 'When are you going to retire?' You can only answer so many ways. I'd like to retire when I feel that I can't make a contribution to Penn State. I feel very obligated to Penn State. I want to get out of it when I feel it's appropriate. … I don't want to be so stupid that you go so far that I can't leave it the way I want to leave it. I'm having fun, and I'm enjoying it. We could lose 10 games by 15 points, and I could say, 'Hey, we're close. We're one play away.' I'll know. If I don't feel I'm doing a good job, I'll know.”

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“It’s true. Alex Rodriguez and Madonna in a sex tape. I’ve see it… In super slow motion instant replay, it is clear, he did not touch the bag.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Devin Hester: Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

Devin Hester: “I'm not coming. I have to make a statement. I showed by going to [organized team activities] that I was a team player. But then, I just felt they weren't taking it seriously that I wanted to get a new deal. I can't go out and play this year making $445,000. Come on, man. You should pay me like I'm one of a kind, It's like dating a girl. When you find somebody who is real special, you're going to do whatever it takes to keep her. You might cut back on what you're giving your mom to give to her. And that's how I feel they should treat me.”

NEW RULE

Athletic excellence should supersede.

Caleb Campbell: “When I got drafted, I told people that I was going to have the best of both worlds. I was going to be in the United States Army and I was going to have a chance to play professional football. Now, I have the best of one world and I'm very positive about that. It's all going to work out. I'm in great shape and I'm going to stay in great shape. I'm going to fulfill my duty to the United States Army and do what I've got to do. One day, hopefully I'll get another opportunity to play in the NFL.”

Obviously, Campbell chose the military. He has a commitment. The Army’s decision is correct. With that stated, Campbell is rare. He is an athletic cadet. He possesses immense talent. The Detroit Lions chose him. Campbell deserves a professional career.

Imagine the positive publicity. Campbell would prove invaluable. He would epitomize patriotism. He would inspire thousands. He is not merely a recruit. He is an icon. Ne season, Detroit should host him. Iraq should not.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Josh Childress?

On Wednesday, Robert Novak was fined $50. His car struck a pedestrian. Obviously, Joe Wilson should have moved.

Today’s top five or WNBA’s finest franchises (1) Detroit Shock, (2) Connecticut Sun, (3) Phoenix Mercury, (4) Sacramento Monarchs, (5) Los Angeles Sparks

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Childress Swaggers, Scores Nothing

On Tuesday, Atlanta Hawks forward Josh Childress renounced his NBA employment. Instead, he chose European professional basketball. His decision left Al Horford stating the obvious. “Obviously I'm not happy with it because I wanted him on my team,” said Horford. “I wish things would have turned out different, but it's his decision at the end of the day. I'm disappointed about it because he's one of the guys that I really liked to play with…”

During his career, Childress averaged 11.1 points and 5.6 rebounds per contest. In 2007-2008, Childress averaged 11.8 points and 4.9 rebounds per contest. “I've talked to a few guys, and it could become a trend,” he said “I'm not so sure it won't. It's different. We thought out of the box a little on this one.”

Childress’ assertion is incorrect. NBA abandonment will not increase. The NBA is glitzy and worldwide. Europe is isolated and obscure. Unfortunately, Childress is arrogant, greedy, and narcissistic. His choice simply secured irrelevance.

Housing Hallelujah

On Wednesday, Congress passed foreclosure legislation. I applaud them. As previously stated, President Bush, Congress, and the federal government must act. Otherwise, the mortgage crisis will eviscerate the economy.

NEW RULE

Accept the surge‘s success.

On Tuesday, Senator John McCain misspoke. According to him, the surge enabled Anbar’s improvement. Unfortunately, Anbar’s improvement occurred prior. McCain’s mistake is irrelevant. Sans the surge, Anbar’s improvement is impossible. Anyone who disagrees is senile.

Worth A Read

Virginia’s most influential read.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Calzaghe vs. Jones?

According to Indianapolis Colts Coach Tony Dungy, Peyton Manning is recovering. This preseason, he may play. Those loud screams? They were Peyton Manning.

Today’s top five or finest cheeses (1) American, (2) Cheddar, (3) Pepper Jack, (4) Swiss, (5) Limburger

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Shark Failure, Harrington Triumph

For four days, Royal Birkdale growled, hissed, snapped, and snarled. Rain incited chaos. Wind instigated mayhem. Combatants were embarrassed, mocked, and ridiculed. Their anguish was obvious.

On Sunday, Padraig Harrington survived the British Open. He scored his second consecutive title. Harrington’s total three over par bested Ian Poulter (+7). Greg Norman and Henrik Stenson (+9) knotted for third. Jim Furyk and Chris Wood (+10) split fifth.

Despite opening Sunday with six pars, Harrington garnered the advantage. His response? Three consecutive bogeys. Fortunately, Harrington steadied with three pars. He then split two birdies and two pars. Eyeing a two stroke advantage, Harrington eagled hole seventeen. He then closed with par.

After logging a bogey-par combination, Poulter bogeyed hole three. He scratched five pars. He then birded hole nine. Following another par-birdie split, Poulter racked five pars. He birdied hole sixteen. He then exited with two pars.

Norman’s collapse was immense. Following three consecutive bogeys, Norman carded two pars. He logged another bogey. He then chalked three pars. Ascending the second nine, Norman was hopeful. Unfortunately, he bogeyed hole ten. He pared hole eleven. He bogeyed holes twelve and thirteen. He then closed with a birdie, three pars, and a final bogey.

In the 1996 Masters, Norman forfeited a six stroke advantage. On Sunday, he surrendered only two strokes. These defeats were dissimilar. However, both epitomized Norman’s legacy. He stared into the abyss and saw nothing. He found his character. He avoided annihilation.

Gene Wojciechowski: Do Not Pity Norman

Greg Norman poked a key into locker No. 103, swung open the wooden door and began clearing out his belongings. Golf shoes. Golf balls. Golf gloves. Norman stuffed them into a half-dozen different zippered carry bags. Just then a friend stopped by the Royal Birkdale locker room to say hello.

"Hey, buddy, how are you?" the friend said.

"Um, I'm like a whipped dog, man," Norman said.

He said it with a smile, but he's right -- there was a hint of exhaustion in Norman's voice. You'd be tired, too, if you'd arm-wrestled golf history for four long days. Norman had come to Birkdale and the 137th British Open as an afterthought, a 53-year-old museum piece. He was supposed to stay long enough to shoot a couple of 80-somethings, miss the cut and turn in his courtesy Lexus by Saturday. Then it would be on to Scotland and next week's Senior British Open with the rest of the golf fogies.

Except that Norman shot an even-par 70 on Thursday, a 70 on Friday, and a 72 in Southport's wind machine to -- pause for gasps -- lead the real British Open after 54 holes. First, Tiger Woods wins last month's U.S. Open on one leg, then Norman injects some Botox into his golf game. But leading a major after three rounds is like hitting five of the first six lotto numbers. You still need one more. Norman tried, he really did, but he couldn't overcome too many drives that dive-bombed into the ponytail-thick heather, or the four missed putts that came this close to dropping in, or most of all, Padraig Harrington and his final round of 69.

Harrington now has the Claret Jug two-peat, which matches the same number of Open championships Norman owns. As Norman cleaned out his locker, a BBC broadcast of the trophy presentation blared on a nearby television set. "I'm not as disappointed as I was in the '80s and the '90s, that's for sure," said Norman, once the dominant player in the game. "It's a different disappointment. Of course, when you put yourself in a position, you've got the lead, of course you want to close the deal -- there's no question about it. But at the same time you got to take a little stock in the situation, and again reality."

The reality is that Norman shot 77 when it counted most. And Harrington didn't. ABC analysts Paul Azinger and five-time British Open champion Tom Watson took turns criticizing Norman's use of the driver on too many holes, but it's not like it was a radical strategy for him. Norman had been taking the big dog for a walk all week long. Why would he quit hitting it on perhaps one of the kindest weather days, relatively speaking, of the tournament? Norman finished tied for third, which is about 1,000 places higher than anybody -- including Watson, Azinger and anyone else -- thought he'd finish. And Watson had been very complimentary of Norman's performance earlier in the tournament.

He had a two-stroke lead at Sunday's start, was tied with Harrington with seven holes remaining and ended up six strokes behind the Irishman. If people think that's a choke, they weren't paying attention to Norman's long-shot status or to how well Harrington played (32 on the back-nine gust bowl). Yes, this now makes nine near-misses in majors for Norman. But this one didn't seem to have the same open-wound quality as some of the other disappointments. There was no Larry Mize standing nearby with a shaker's worth of Morton's. In short, Harrington won more than Norman lost. "Hell, this was great," Norman said as he stood, as it turned out, in front of a black-and-white photograph of Watson. "I enjoyed it, no question about it. I enjoyed it as much or more as I've done in the past."

There would be no bouts of depression, no second-guessing. OK, if he had one shot back, he'd like another crack at the 3-iron he hit into a greenside bunker on the first hole. It resulted in the first of three consecutive bogeys. But Norman wasn't going to beat himself up over this one. "No, no way," he said. "Nope."

Norman's career always has been as transparent as plate glass. His successes, and especially his failures, were available in agonizing detail. But this week, and this latest blown lead, wasn't one of those failures. It wasn't the same because Norman isn't the same. His new wife, Chris Evert, followed him for the entire 18 holes. You could see her in the crowds -- wearing a black leather jacket and light blue pants. She held one of those goofy-looking periscope boxes to see over the crowds. To finish third (along with a $500,000-plus paycheck) was like a bonus piece of wedding cake.

When he was done with the round, Norman warmly congratulated Harrington, stopped to kiss Harrington's wife on the cheek, then strode up the hill toward the clubhouse. Waiting there was Evert. They kissed, exchanged a few words, then walked arm in arm to the scorer's trailer. I asked Evert what she told Norman. "I told him he's a champion," she said.

Sounds about right. Claret Jug, or no Claret Jug.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“He was a dedicated employee, Osama Bin Laden’s driver. I saw him. He’d be at the airport holding the sign that said “Deranged Lunatic.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Do Not Touch My Gun

Obama Discusses Terrorism, Dismisses Petraeus

Senator Barack Obama: “The situation in Afghanistan is perilous and urgent. We must act now to reverse a deteriorating situation. I welcome the growing consensus in the United States and Iraq for a timeline. If we responsibly end the war in Iraq, we can strengthen our military, step up our efforts to finish the fight against Al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan, and succeed in leaving Iraq to a sovereign government that can take responsibility for its own future.”

“If I were in his shoes, I’d probably feel the same way. But my job as a candidate for president and a potential commander in chief extends beyond Iraq. I have to factor in the perceptions of the Iraqi people and the statements by Prime Minister Maliki and his spokespeople in public, that they are ready to see the Iraqi government take on more responsibility for security. So there are a range of factors that I have to take into account as a commander in chief or a potential commander in chief that I wouldn’t expect General Petraeus or anybody who’s just on the ground to have to take into account.”

Scorn & Fury

T. Boone Pickens: “I said, 'I'm for everything that's American.' ... I only have one enemy, and that's foreign oil. That's what I want to get rid of. I am convinced we are paying for both sides of the Iraqi war. This is more than a disturbing trend line. It is a recipe for national disaster. ... This is a crisis that cannot be left to the next generation to solve.”

Thank You For Being A Friend

Estelle Getty
(1923-2008)

Volatile, Voluble Shockey Swapped

Jeremy Shockey is flamboyant. He is bombastic, garish, pompous, truculent, and vain. With that stated, Shockey is a glitzy enigma. He is a superstar. Yet, his statistics have diminished. He is significant. Yet, the New York Giants won without him.

On Monday, the Giants traded Shockey to the New Orleans Saints. As reciprocation, the Giants received second and fifth round selections. “Jeremy brought great energy to the game every time he stepped on the field,” said Giants President John Mara. “He had a close relationship with my father from the time we drafted him, and I had a couple of long conversations with Jeremy this spring and summer. From those conversations, it was apparent to me that a fresh start was the best thing for us and for Jeremy.”

The exchange left Plaxico Burress stating the obvious. “People talk about how we're a better team without him, but those are the people that don't know football,” he said. “I hear that and it's like, 'You people are crazy. You've never played a down of football in your life, so what would you even know?' The guy walks on the field and he demands a double-team. Before he even straps it up and goes out to play, he's already made the team better. Him going to New Orleans, he makes them one of the best offenses in the league.”

During his career, Shockey has amassed 371 receptions, 4,228 yards, and 27 touchdowns. In 2006, he tallied 66 receptions, 623 yards, and 7 touchdowns. In 2007, Shockey totaled 57 receptions, 619 yards, and 3 touchdowns. “Jeremy is a player that we are excited to have on our roster. He is someone I am familiar with as a player,” said Saints Coach Sean Payton. “He brings a skill set to the position that I feel will be a tremendous benefit to our offense.”

“He's been one of the most successful tight ends in NFL history, but now I think he's going to be more prolific in the Saints' offense,” said Agent Drew Rosenhaus. “I don't think Jeremy could ask for a better situation.”

Concerning the Giants, they stunned the New England Patriots. They won Super Bowl XLII. I will not judge them. Concerning the Saints, their offense includes Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Deuce McAllister, and Shockey. Assuming defense and health, they are NFC favorites.

Larry Craig: Never Use Jerk

NEW RULE

Equality is non-negotiable.

Last week, the New York Times published Senator Barack Obama. This weekend, they rejected Senator John McCain. The New York Times’ rationale is irrelevant. The circumstances and hypocrisy are obvious. Americans have a choice. This choice requires two arguments. Abridging either is election fraud.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Carson Palmer?

Following her disqualification, Michelle Wie has reappeared. Next week, she will attempt the PGA. Exchanging humiliation for men… Helped Britney Spears recover…

Today’s top five or Super Bowl XXXVIII memories (1) Fourth quarter, (2) Jake Delhomme, (3) Tom Brady, (4) Mike Vrabel, (5) Streaker tackle

Monday, July 21, 2008

Doofus Dolphins Trade Taylor

The NFL has transformed. Once, players were gristly, rigid, and taciturn. Their obsession was football. Today, players are personalities. They are individual and unique. They are commodities, sound bites, and video gamers. If they act appropriate, they merit freedom.

On Sunday, the Miami Dolphins traded Jason Taylor to the Washington Redskins. As reciprocation, the Dolphins received two draft selections. “I love Miami [and] will always cherish my 11 years with the Dolphins,” said Taylor. “Having said that, I'm looking forward to meeting with Mr. Snyder and getting to know my new coaches and teammates. I'm just proud to be representing our nation's capital as a Redskin.”

This offseason, Taylor exchanged workouts for Dancing with the Stars.” Allegedly, Dolphins Vice President Bill Parcells abhorred this. Evidently, Owner Wayne Huizenga was apathetic. “Ever since he [Jason] joined the team as a rookie, he has been outstanding on the field and a leader in our community,” said Huizenga. “Whether it was his intensity between the lines or his commitment to his charitable works, he made a lasting impact here.”

During his career, Taylor has recorded 662 tackles and 117 sacks. He has registered six eleven-plus sack seasons. He won the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year Award. “His play speaks for itself,” said Redskins Vice President Vinny Cerrato. “I think it's easy to talk about Jason Taylor. He's got statistics and everything else to back up everything that he's done.”

Parcells is an icon. He is a champion. He is a winner. I respect him. With that stated, Taylor was not Keyshawn Johnson. He was not Terrell Owens. He was an exemplary individual. Parcells’ action was reprehensible. His indignation was ridiculous.

Wardrobe Munificence

On Monday, the United States 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals rebuked the Federal Communications Commission. On September 22, 2004, CBS was fined $550,000. Judges Anthony Scirica, Julio Fuentes, and Marjorie Rendell rescinded this punishment. Their decision was incorrect.

Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake spoiled Super Bowl XXXVIII. Their obscenity was not their actions. Their obscenity was that they acted. The Court of Appeals ignored the aforesaid. This is wrong.

I am not a moralist. I am not a prude. I simply respect occasions. Jackson and Timberlake did not. They flipped off the NFL. Forgiving them is unconscionable.

Speaking Chad

Chad Johnson: “People take it in a different context when I say I want out and I'm not happy. They think, 'He doesn't want to be in Cincinnati anymore, he's dissing us as fans.' It's not like that. I love my fans. I wasn't able to get that point across. They've supported me. They've been good to me, and I've been good to them. I was going through a situation where I felt a change was needed. It didn't work out. Hey, I'm back. Get ready for the show.”

“I talk to Carson all the time. I don't have a choice. He's my quarterback. I'm still in Cincinnati. This is one of those crazy things. I love Cincinnati. I love my fans. I love everything about it. I wasn't happy about certain things -- the business side of it -- and I spoke my mind and that was it. A true fan of mine knows what they've got. A true fan of mine sticks with me through thick and thin when things aren't going right. That's what a true fan does. Those that are upset because I spoke my mind? There's not much I can do but apologize.”

“They've always been flamboyant. They've always been flashy. It's just something you have to have. When you're playing receiver, you have to have a certain stigma about you. All of us all have different characteristics and personalities, but we're all rock stars.”

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Batman made a $155 million. The only place with longer lines this weekend? IndyMac bank.”

The Tonight Show

Garage Fight?

Brewers Bag Durham

On Sunday, the San Francisco Giants traded second baseman Ray Durham to the Milwaukee Brewers. As reciprocation, the Giants received minor league outfielder Darren Ford and minor league pitcher Steve Hammond. This season, Milwaukee must win. They have mortgaged their future.

Bengals Cornerstone Crushes Buckeyes

Carson Palmer: “I don't watch what I say. I cannot stand the Buckeyes, and having to live in Ohio and hear those people talk about their team, it drives me absolutely nuts . . . It's amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and (Ohio State coach Jim) Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there. I just can't wait for two years from now when SC comes to the 'Shoe and I get to hopefully, hopefully we'll have a home game that weekend and I can go up there and watch us pound on them in their own turf and kind of put all the talk to rest. Because I'm really getting sick of it and I just can't wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience LA and get an old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whoopin' and go back to the Big Ten . . . I can't wait.”

NEW RULE

Your intention is irrelevant.

On Friday, PETA renewed this ad. As previously stated, I abhor PETA. This is why. This video lacks substance. This video merely incites and provokes. PETA should renounce this. Unfortunately, PETA is insipid, juvenile, and obnoxious. Their objective are excrement. Their rationale is repugnant.

Worth A Read

Featuring casting, clips, and rumors.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Spider-Man 3?

This weekend, “The Dark Knight” amassed $158.4 million. Their corporate sponsors only scored $60 million.

On Saturday, Michelle Wie was disqualified. She did not sign her scorecard. She attends Stanford?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Paulson Espouses Optimism, Reality

Secretary of Treasury Henry Paulson: “I think it's going to be months that we're working our way through this period — clearly months. Of course the list is going to grow longer given the stresses we have in the marketplace, given the housing correction. But again, it's a safe banking system, a sound banking system. Our regulators are on top of it. This is a very manageable situation.”

“We're going through a challenging time with our economy. This is a tough time. The three big issues we're facing right now are, first, the housing correction which is at the heart of the slowdown; secondly, turmoil of the capital markets; and thirdly, the high oil prices, which are going to prolong the slowdown.”

“But remember, our economy has got very strong long-term fundamentals, solid fundamentals. And you know, your policy-makers here, regulators, we're being very vigilant. I'm very optimistic that we're going to get what we need from Congress here, because Congress understands how important these institutions are.”

“Our first priority today is the stability of the capital markets, the stability of the system. And these institutions have investors all around the world ... and those investors need to know that we in the United States of America understand the importance of these institutions to our capital markets and to our economy and to our housing market.”

“I'm focused on this stimulus package. It's made a difference in the second quarter. It's going to make a difference in the third quarter. We need to watch this very carefully. Right now we're going through a tough period. There is no doubt about it. But the stimulus plan is making a difference.”

Line of the Morning


“The greatest generation, and, at the beginning of that period when they rose to that challenge, there were a lot of people who said that couldn't be done. We couldn't make these hundreds of thousands of airplanes, we couldn't mobilize to win that struggle. And yet we did. The only limiting factor here is political will. This climate crisis is threatening our country, threatening all of human civilization... I know people don't like to, to hear phrases like that, but it is the reality.”