Director, Producer, Actor, Icon

Sydney Pollack
(1934-2008)

Ted Kennedy Suffers Tumor

On Tuesday, Senator Ted Kennedy was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. The Kennedy family has our thoughts and prayers.

Cook Cheats America, Idol

David Cook is America’s seventh Idol. This result was asinine, laughable, offensive, ridiculous, and stupid. David Archuleta owned the final. He was exemplary, passionate, and sincere. Cook was three separate personalities. He was excellent, slimy, and wretched.

Obviously, America ignored their performances. The aforesaid is frustrating. Archuleta is adorable. He is charming. He has a marketable teenage niche. Cook is a greasy project. He is an alternative and hair band relic. His appearance crosses Barry Watson and porn.

American Idol screams they are a singing competition. On Tuesday, their mantra was mythical. Archuleta was spectacular. Cook’s margin was twelve million votes. FOX should feel ashamed, embarrassed, and remorseful. Essentially, they televised a popularity contest.

Barack… Take A Bow

On May 13, Senator Hillary Clinton won Indiana. Senator Barack Obama won North Carolina. On May 20, Clinton won Kentucky. Obama won Oregon. I covet a brokered convention. Unfortunately, the Democratic contest is concluded. Obama is the nominee.

Fossella Finished

On Tuesday, Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY) retired. Fossella’s decision was appropriate. His actions were selfish and senseless. They tarnished Republicans.

Cherry’s Bomb

Desperate Housewives conclusion was horrendous. Via an asinine ending, Mark Cherry ruined an excellent finale. He also annihilated the program’s future. Officially, David Chase is exonerated. Cherry is worse.

Line of the Morning

Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC)

“Senator Obama keeps talking about an immediate withdrawal as soon as he gets to be president. The last time I understand he was in Iraq was in 2006. I would recommend that he go back. So much has happened since 2006 on the ground. It’s been extraordinary.”

The Hills (During Hospitalization)

As previously stated, MTV has enjoyed success with reality television. They have created scintillating backgrounds and compelling characters. Unfortunately, triumph is transitory. MTV’s pulse is bradycardic.

Prior to the season finale, Heidi escaped Los Angeles. Lauren estranged Audrina. Stephanie evicted Spencer. Audrina is ridiculous. Lauren and Lo attended high school. They have history. However, neither have alienated, ignored, or snubbed. They have acted friendly. Audrina has isolated herself.

In the season finale, Heidi, Brent Bolthouse, and Sam Nazarian visited Las Vegas. They assessed SBE properties. They discussed renovations. They enjoyed drinks. Unfortunately, Spencer interrupted them. He and Heidi argued. The next morning, Heidi exchanged opportunity for relationship. Bolthouse and Nazarian should fire her. Relationships cannot trump employment.

Overall, this season was stale. The drama was absent. The personalities were vacant. The results were predictable. Immediately, alterations must occur. Otherwise, the Hills will vanish. They will mirror Beverly Hills 90210.

Big Five & Hot Five (During Hospitalization)

Big Five (Alphabetical)

American Idol

Arlen Spector

Ashley Force

Barack Obama

Big Brown

Economy

Hillary Clinton

Larry Brown

Mike D’Antoni

Pat Riley

Revered Jeremiah Wright

Ted Kennedy

Vito Fossella

Hot Five (Alphabetical)

American Idol

Barack Obama

Desperate Housewives

Economy

Hillary Clinton

Revered Jeremiah Wright

Survivor

Ted Kennedy

The Hills

Thoroughbred Racing

Grading the Draft (Hospitalized Version)

Arizona Cardinals (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Early Doucet (WR - LSU)

Greatest Potential Bust: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (CB – Tennessee State)

Atlanta Falcons (A)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Sam Baker (OT – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Matt Ryan (QB – Boston College)

Baltimore Ravens (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Tom Zbikowski (DB – Notre Dame)

Greatest Potential Bust: Joe Flacco (QB – Delaware)

Buffalo Bills (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: James Hardy (WR – Indiana)

Greatest Potential Bust: Leodis McKelvin (CB – Troy)

Carolina Panthers (D)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Dan Connor (LB – Penn State)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jeff Otah (OT – Pittsburgh)

Chicago Bears (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Matt Forte (RB – Tulane)

Greatest Potential Bust: Earl Bennett (WR – Vanderbilt)

Cincinnati Bengals (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Keith Rivers (LB – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jerome Simpson (WR – Costal Carolina)

Cleveland Browns (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Beau Bell (LB – UNLV)

Greatest Potential Bust: Martin Rucker (TE – Missouri)

Dallas Cowboys (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Tashard Choice (RB – Georgia Tech)

Greatest Potential Bust: Martellus Bennett (TE – Texas A&M)

Denver Broncos (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Ryan Clady (OT – Boise State)

Greatest Potential Bust: Eddie Royal (WR – Virginia Tech)

Detroit Lions (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Kevin Smith (RB – Central Florida)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jordon Dizon (LB – Colorado)

Green Bay Packers (D)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Jordy Nelson (WR – Kansas State)

Greatest Potential Bust: Brian Brohm (QB – Louisville)

Houston Texans (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Xavier Adibi (LB – Virginia Tech)

Greatest Potential Bust: Duane Brown (OT – Virginia Tech)

Indianapolis Colts (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Mike Hart (RB – Michigan)

Greatest Potential Bust: Philip Wheeler (LB – Georgia Tech)

Jacksonville Jaguars (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Quentin Groves (DE – Auburn)

Greatest Potential Bust: Derrick Harvey (DE – Florida)

Kansas City Chiefs (D)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Glenn Dorsey (DT – LSU)

Greatest Potential Bust: Branden Albert (OL – Virginia)

Miami Dolphins (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Chad Henne (QB – Michigan)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jake Long (OT – Michigan)

Minnesota Vikings (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: John David Booty (QB – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Tyrell Johnson (DB – Arkansas State)

New England Patriots (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Shawn Crable (LB – Michigan)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jerod Mayo (LB – Tennessee)

New Orleans Saints (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Sedrick Ellis (DT – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Tracy Porter (CB – Indiana)

New York Giants (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Terrell Thomas (CB – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Mario Manningham (WR – Michigan)

New York Jets (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Vernon Gholston (DE – Ohio State)

Greatest Potential Bust: Dwight Lowery (CB – San Jose State)

Oakland Raiders (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Darren McFadden (RB – Arkansas)

Greatest Potential Bust: Arman Shields (WR – Richmond)

Philadelphia Eagles (D)

Greatest Potential Superstar: DeSean Jackson (WR – Penn California)

Greatest Potential Bust: Trevor Laws (DT – Notre Dame)

Pittsburgh Steelers (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Limas Sweed (WR – Texas)

Greatest Potential Bust: Dennis Dixon (QB – Oregon)

San Diego Chargers (B)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Antoine Cason (CB – Arizona)

Greatest Potential Bust: Marcus Thomas (RB – UTEP)

San Francisco 49ers (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Chilo Rachal (OL – USC)

Greatest Potential Bust: Kentwan Balmer (DE – North Carolina)

Seattle Seahawks (A)

Greatest Potential Superstar: John Carlson (TE – Notre Dame)

Greatest Potential Bust: Owen Schmitt (FB – West Virginia)

St. Louis Rams (D)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Chris Long (DE – Virginia)

Greatest Potential Bust: Justin King (CB – Penn State)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Aqib Talib (CB – Kansas)

Greatest Potential Bust: Dexter Jackson (WR – Appalachian State)

Tennessee Titans (F)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Chris Johnson (RB – East Carolina)

Greatest Potential Bust: Jason Jones (DE – Eastern Michigan)

Washington Redskins (C)

Greatest Potential Superstar: Malcolm Kelly (WR – Oklahoma)

Greatest Potential Bust: Colt Brennan (QB – Hawaii)