Thursday, September 03, 2009

Betting the Pass Line (Last Season: 59-49 Overall: 111-94)

Navy (+22) at Ohio State
Ohio State never opposes option opponents. Navy will compete.

Western Michigan (+13) at Michigan
From 1987-1989, Michigan lost consecutive commencement contests. On Saturday, history reoccurs.

Georgia at Oklahoma State (-5 ½)
Knowshon Moreno and Matthew Stafford are professionals. Georgia’s expectations should be nonexistent.

BYU (+22 ½) at Oklahoma
For three quarters, they will swap scores. In the fourth quarter, the Sooners will score victory.

Alabama at Virginia Tech (+6 ½)
In the SEC Championship Contest and Sugar Bar, Florida and Utah defeated Alabama. Tonight, the Crimson Tide will win. However, their margin will be minimal.

Perennial Substitute Renounces Spotlight

On Wednesday, ABC World News Anchor Charles Gibson announced his resignation. Officially, he will depart December 21. “The program is now operating at a very accelerated, but steady, cruising speed and I think it is an opportune time for a transition — both for the broadcast and for me,” he said. “Life is dynamic; it is not static.”

Good Morning America Anchor Diane Sawyer will supplant him. “Diane is one of the hardest-working people I know and this new assignment is the latest achievement in an already accomplished and illustrious career,” said CBS Evening News Anchor Katie Couric. “And as I did, I'm sure that she'll quickly find that she doesn't miss that early morning alarm clock.”

Gibson’s legacy is conflicted. In 2005, he should have succeeded Peter Jennings. Instead, Elizabeth Vargas and Bob Woodruff were selected. Gibson exuded gravitas and intellect. He should have been a cornerstone. Unfortunately, he never earned an iconic status.

Pelosi’s Mindset: Bi-public Option

Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) Speech: “Here we have a situation where in the Kennedy bill in Senate, there is a public option -- it's not as strong as the public option in the House bill. If they want no public option, but a trigger, you can be sure that the trigger will bring on a very robust public option. So, if I were advising insurance companies, I'd tell them take this bill the way it is now.”

Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) Statement: “Any real change requires the inclusion of a strong public option… A bill without a strong public option will not pass the House. Eliminating the public option would be a major victory for the insurance companies who have rationed care, increased premiums and denied coverage. If someone has a better idea for promoting competition and reducing health care costs, they should put it on the table. But for the past month, opponents of health insurance reform have demonstrated that they are afraid of the facts. They have only offered distortions, distractions and misrepresentations to try to kill this historic legislation.”

Vick’s Free Week Three

On September 27, Michael Vick will return. As previously stated, Vick did not commit a mistake. He did not endure a learning experience. He did not exercise bad judgment. The Eagles committed a mistake. They will endure a learning experience. Their bad judgment was this transaction.

Bruce Bowen: Defensive Delusion

On Thursday, Bruce Bowen retired. “It's not how you start but how you finish,” he said. “I hope my legacy would be as someone that never was satisfied with just being where they were.”

During his career, Bowen registered 6.1 points per contest. He was not a championship component. He was not a defensive cornerstone. He simply received unmerited recognition. Hopefully, Bowen’s replacement scores twenty points. He does not surrender thirty and assert success.

College Football Predictions

ACC
Atlantic Division

1. Florida State
2. Boston College
3. Wake Forest

Coastal Division
1. Virginia Tech
2. Georgia Tech
3. North Carolina

Championship Game: Florida State defeats Virginia Tech 24-23

Big East
1. Rutgers
2. West Virginia
3. Pittsburgh
4. Cincinnati
5. South Florida

Big Ten
1. Ohio State
2. Penn State
3. Michigan State
4. Iowa
5. Illinois

Big Twelve
Northern Division
1. Kansas
2. Missouri
3. Nebraska

Southern Division
1. Oklahoma
2. Texas
3. Texas Tech

Championship Game: Oklahoma defeats Kansas 45-17

Conference USA
Eastern Division

1. East Carolina
2. Southern Mississippi
3. Memphis

Western Division
1. Tulsa
2. Houston
3. Rice

Championship Game: Tulsa defeats East Carolina 35-23

MAC
Eastern Division
1. Buffalo
2. Temple
3. Bowling Green

Western Division
1. Western Michigan
2. Ball State
3. Central Michigan

Championship Game: Western Michigan defeats Buffalo 34-31

Mountain West
1. Utah
2. BYU
3. TCU
4. Air Force
5. UNLV

Pac 10
1. USC
2. California
3. Oregon State
4. Oregon
5. Arizona

SEC
Eastern Division

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Vanderbilt

Western Division
1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Mississippi

Championship Game: Florida defeats ALabama 21-17

Sun Belt
1. Troy
2. Middle Tennessee
3. Louisiana-Lafayette
4. Arkansas State
5. Florida International

WAC
1. Boise State
2. Fresno State
3. Nevada
4. Louisiana Tech
5. Hawaii

BOWL GAMES
Fed Ex National Championship Game: Florida defeats Ohio State 35-27
Nokia Sugar Bowl: Alabama defeats Virginia Tech 21-17
Fed Ex Orange Bowl: Florida State defeats Rutgers 28-20
Rose Bowl: USC defeats Penn State 45-7
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma defeats California 42-38

Heisman Trophy
1. Tim Tebow
2. Terrelle Pryor
3. Sam Bradford
4. Colt McCoy
5. Jahvid Best

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“According to a new study, a moderate amount of drinking may prevent Alzheimer’s disease. Me? I’m always drinking to forget, so that’s no good for me.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Pariah Jettisoned

On Wednesday, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers released Pacman Jones. I applaud them.

NEW RULE

Because is irrelevant.

In Iowa, unwanted chicks were ground alive.

Americans chicken consumption should continue. My chicken consumption will continue. With that stated, unwanted animals remain animals. Lethally inject them. Replenish farms and petting zoos. Do not sodomize them. Sodomy conveys one can act. Because one can act is not validation.

Worth A Read

Barking Carnival

Blogging college football.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be the Minnesota Timberwolves?

On Tuesday, Ricky Rubio rejected the Minnesota Timberwolves. Today, the Minnesota Timberwolves issued this statement: What did you expect?

Today’s top five or next potential firing (1) Steve Kragthorpe, (2) Mike Sherman , (3) Charlie Weis, (4) Paul Wulff, (5) Rich Rodriguez

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Former governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, is back in town and he's going to run for governor again. Before he runs for governor, Spitzer is putting some feelers out. Isn't that what cost him his job?”

Late Show with David Letterman

T’Worthlessness

Ricky Rubio: “Going to Minnesota would have just complicated my life a lot. It was a risk and I didn't see it so clearly. My priority was the NBA and it was impossible for the Minnesota Timberwolves to pay my buyout clause, so I wanted to stay home. They could only put half a million into it and I think that the deal with Minnesota had too many obstacles.”

The Minnesota Timberwolves should be embarrassed. Rubio’s rebuff symbolizes their ineptitude.

Faux Indignation Unnecessary

In the Coaches vs. Cancer Tournament, Florida International will oppose North Carolina. Florida International requested Ohio State. The opponents were not exchanged. However, Florida International will participate.

Florida International’s antics were ridiculous. Clearly, Isiah Thomas’ objective is attention. Victories are irrelevant.

Maple Leaf Embraces Malcontent Leper

On Tuesday, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers signed Pacman Jones. Jones inked a one-year contract. Jones is a recidivist. He is a rogue. He is an unrepentant thug. In Canada, he may be an attraction. In America, his professional career is concluded.

Confusing Chiefs Cut Toomer

On Tuesday, the Kansas City Chiefs released Amani Toomer. If this reversal possesses rationale, the rationale is invisible.

NEW RULE

Riots are worthless.

In Alabama, one hundred and fifty people rioted. Their motivation was unknown. Their objective was unknown. Their intelligence is obvious. Riots will not postpone problems. They will not reschedule problems. They will not solve problems. Only one activity can accomplish these. Alcohol.

Worth A Read

Bluegrass Politics

Covering Kentucky campaigns and government.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Tedy Bruschi?

According to a study, aspirin could be harmful. Bill Clinton’s reaction? “How will I tolerate Hillary?

Today’s top five or Heisman Trophy favorites (1) Tim Tebow, (2) Sam Bradford, (3) Terrelle Pryor, (4) Colt McCoy, (5) Jahvid Best

Monday, August 31, 2009

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Did you see the picture of Barack Obama out bicycling with the kids? He's not wearing a helmet. I believe the President is the most prominent Democrat to go without protection since John Edwards.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Dodgers, White Sox Address Contention

Postseason contention is a paradox. Three contest deficits offer potential. Five contest deficits inspire nervousness. Six-plus contest deficits require transition. Divisional position is irrelevant. Wild Card position is irrelevant. Deficits dictate abandonment, acquisitions, and attitude.

On Monday, the Arizona Diamondbacks, Chicago White Sox, and Los Angeles Dodgers concocted a swap. The Dodgers received Jim Thome and Jon Garland. The Diamondbacks and White Sox received minor leaguers.

According to Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti, Thome’s presence trumps performance. “We're not bringing him over here to play first base,” said Colletti. “We're bringing him here to come off the bench and be a great influence in the clubhouse. He's one of the true great guys in the game. In fact, the night before the deadline he called me. ... He just said: 'I just want to be honest with you. I'd love to come. I want to help you guys any way I can. But playing first base is not something I'm going to be able to do -- maybe in an emergency situation, perhaps.”

Currently, the Dodgers are 78-54. The White Sox are 64-68. In the National League West, the Dodgers lead the Colorado Rockies and San Francisco Giants. In the American League Central, the White Sox trail the Detroit Tigers. Los Angeles’ advantage is five and one-half contests. Chicago’s deficit is six contests.

During his career, Thome has batted .278 with 564 home runs and 1,562 runs batted in. This season, he has hammered .249 with 23 home runs and 74 runs batted in. “I think it's made us stronger,” said Dodgers Manager Joe Torre. “We have a threat off the bench now, and in Garland we certainly have someone who knows how to pitch.”

During his career, Garland has amassed 114-100 record. He has posted a 4.45 earned run average. This season, he has logged an 8-11 record. “He's somebody we had interest in this past winter and who we've watched for a while and have seen in our division,” said Colletti. “He's pitched in the postseason, he's been on a team that's won the World Series. When you get to the month of August and you start looking for additional help and can add a veteran starter who can give you innings and is a winning-type player, you go for it.”

Since Torre’s arrival, the Dodgers have accrued a 166-136 record. Torre has inspired a championship mentality. The Dodgers have provided championship components.

Bruschi’s Remembrance: Inconceivable Comeback, Incredible Career

On February 16, 2005, Tedy Bruschi suffered a stroke. Life resumption would have been sufficient. Football was an unchartered extravagance. Bruschi never separated the pair. He simply resumed his career.

On Monday, Bruschi retired. “The thought of playing professional football after experiencing a stroke. I mean, is that a statement you hear everyday?” he asked. “It's not. I was retired. I didn't think it was possible.”

According to Coach Bill Belichick, Bruschi epitomized work ethic. “We [Bill Parcells and Belichick] didn't really know what to do with him,” said Belichick. All along the way he heard, 'too small,' 'too slow,' 'too this,' 'too that,' and just kept getting better and better and working harder and outworking and outcompeting pretty much everybody that he faced.”

During his career, Bruschi recorded 1,065 tackles and 30 ½ sacks. He registered five one hundred-plus tackle seasons. He also registered twelve interceptions. “Tedy embodies everything we want the Patriot brand to stand for,” said Owner Robert Kraft. “Hard work, perseverance, overachievement, and selfless commitment to team first.”

Bruschi’s skill was evident. His statistics were impressive. Unfortunately, his remarkable resurrection supersedes each. Bruschi’s interceptions merit acclamation. His tackles merit praise. His return’s objective was not remembrance.

Afghanistan Needs Attention

General Stanley McChrystal: “We need to show the American people, but also the people of the 41 other countries contributing to this operation, progress. The situation in Afghanistan is serious, but success is achievable and demands a revised implementation strategy, commitment and resolve, and increased unity of effort.”

Penny Salvaged

On Monday, the San Francisco Giants signed Brad Penny. The Giants will not achieve postseason. However, their example is exemplary.

Culture Popped Announcement

During the NCAA and NFL seasons, the Daily Smak, Monologue Joke of the Evening, New Rule, and Worth A Read will contract certain weeks. Instead of five, three editions will be published.

NEW RULE

Farmers raise herds. Residents raise house pets.

In Florida, police seized cats, dogs, ducks, endangered turtles, goats, parrots, rabbits, sheep, and quail. Feces covered their coats. Several animals were expired. Virtually all were warehoused.

Andrew Gonzalo Perez and Ileana Verguizas are not ranchers. They are suburbanites. They did not need these animals. They did not nurture these animals. They did not utilize these animals. They ignored these animals. Four abused children would warrant severe punishment. Four hundred abused animals should also. Feces and inhumanity are unacceptable.

Worth A Read

Style Hive

Connecting stylish people.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Brandon Marshall?

On Sunday afternoon, the Cincinnati Bengals signed Andre Smith. On Sunday evening, Smith issued this statement: My choice was impossible. Cincinnati or unemployment.

Today’s top five or national championship favorites (1) Florida, (2) Ohio State, (3) Oklahoma, (4) USC, (5) Texas

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Fox News: State Fair Economics

A year's worth of failed job leads prepared Richard Briggs for anything, including night shifts as a Minnesota State Fair custodian. For $8.50 an hour, the out-of-work financial analyst vacuums and cleans bathrooms in fairground buildings. Briggs, 38, said he's "something of a curiosity" among his co-workers. "You know, they don't hire financial analysts to clean the sidewalks," Briggs said.

A crippled economy has sent droves of unemployed and underemployed people to fairs nationwide, with many reporting record numbers of applicants to tear tickets, serve food and clean up after crowds. Iowa's state fair closed most of its hiring weeks earlier than usual. Colorado's fair is finished hiring but was still getting more than 50 people a day trying to apply as the fair opened last week. In Indiana, about 2,300 people — at least twice as many as usual — applied for 800 open positions. "And the nice thing about it for us is that we got, I guess you could say, many overqualified candidates," said Andy Klotz, a spokesman for the Indiana State Fair .

In Minnesota, more than 10,000 people applied for the fair's 3,000 jobs. At the same time more people were applying, fair vendors intent on keeping costs down were requesting far fewer employees than in years past. And, more experienced fair workers were returning. The fair had room for just 1,250 new employees, about one-third the number of last year.

Briggs lives in the Twin Cities suburb of Mendota Heights with his wife and two stepchildren. He lost his job last September, and he's found few openings in the financial sector since. Over dinner in June, his wife suggested he apply for a job at the Fair, which he hadn't attended since childhood. "It'll get you out of the house, and you'll be busy for 12 straight days," Briggs remembers her saying.

After a visit to the State Fair's employment center, he got an offer. Though the family still has his wife's income as a regulatory analyst, Briggs said his fair paycheck has given their budget "some breathing space." "We have a mortgage to pay and mouths to feed," he said.

As the fair opened its 12-day run last week, Josh Chaika was working a day shift as a custodian. Chaika, 27, signed up to work for the first time this year. He has a part-time job for 30 hours a week, but when he saw a newspaper advertisement for fair jobs, he decided to apply because he "just needed the extra cash."

He was surprised when he heard about the size of the waiting list. "I didn't think it would be that tough," he said.

Jerry Hammer, the general manager of Minnesota's fair, said it's not always like this. "I've seen other years where we're telling staff to go home and tell your friends and neighbors" workers are needed, he said.

The Minnesota State Fair still attracted a large number of teenagers and 20-somethings. Jessica Schoenleber got a job tearing tickets on one of the fair's parking lots. The 23-year-old from nearby Roseville wanted to make some money before she moves to New Zealand this fall. "This was more like short-term, high intensity and a lot of fun," Schoenleber said of the job.

The high demand for state fair jobs is occurring at time when attendance is up as more people cut back on travel and look for attractions close to home. Minnesota set a first-day record Thursday with more than 114,000 attendees. "We seem to be one of those sectors of the economy that we're doing quite well," said Jim Tucker, CEO of the International Association of Fairs and Exhibitions. "Not only are we not down, we're up."

Briggs, the financial analyst-turned-custodian, says he's not ashamed of his new job, even if he seems overqualified. "It's fun to be outdoors, and it's fun to see the results of your work," Briggs said. "Being a financial analyst, at least in the situation I was in, no matter what kind of report you try to produce ... there was always a way around it, whereas you know when you don't empty the garbage or something."

Little League Champions

Chula Vista, California

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Line of the Morning


Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA)

“For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die.”