Monologue Joke of the Evening

“President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming.”

The Tonight Show

Iran Misleads, Invites Retribution

On Friday morning, Iran’s secret nuclear instillation was revealed. On Friday evening, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez pledged uranium collaboration.

Iran’s fraudulence underscores the obvious. Diplomatic nuance is inconsequential. International incentives are irrelevant. China, France, Germany, Great Britain, Russia, and the United State must impose crippling sanctions. They must also emphasize military options. Iran cannot be trusted. Iran abhors the prospect of trust.

“We Leave Here Today Confident & United”

G-20 Communiqué

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 1-4 Season: 4-6)

49ers at Vikings (-7)
Frank Gore versus Adrian Peterson. Both amass one hundred yards. Both score two touchdowns. However, Brett Favre wins the contest.

Falcons at Patriots (-4)
Following losses, the Patriots have won seven consecutive contests. Their eighth victory will be impressive.

Steelers at Bengals (+4 ½)
Versus the Steelers, the Bengals have lost five consecutive contests. History screams the Steelers. Shut up history.

Colts (+2 ½) at Cardinals
From 2005-2007, the Colts commenced their campaigns 3-0. In 2009, they will recapture their past.

Panthers (+9) at Cowboys
Simply stated, the Panthers must win.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 3-2 Season: 9-6)

Miami-Florida at Virginia Tech (+3)
This season, the Hurricanes have defeated Florida State and Georgia Tech. Miami appears resurrected. The Hokies will reinstate reality.

Illinois at Ohio State (-14)
In four conference seasons, Ohio State is 29-3. The Buckeyes will own this contest.

Iowa (+9 ½) at Penn State
Versus Joe Paterno, Kirk Ferentz is 6-2. Bet the Hawkeyes. Bet the beer fund.

Texas Tech at Houston (-1 ½)
Taylor Potts versus Case Keenum. Both amass three hundred yards. Both toss three touchdowns. However, Houston survives.

Washington(+8 ½) at Stanford
This spread is stunning. Stanford wins this contest. However, Washington will compete.

Continuous Threat

In New York, Betim Kaziu and Najibullah Zazi craved jihadi inclusion and impersonation. In Texas, Hosam Maher Husein Smadi pursued explosives. In Illinois, Michael Finton plotted a courthouse catastrophe. In North Carolina, seven jihadists targeted marines.

Climate change and healthcare occupy our political prattle. However, terrorism owns our permanent attention.

Fox News: Uranium Expedition

Medical providers are scrambling to find medical uranium after an unplanned shutdown of a Canadian nuclear reactor in May sparked a global uranium shortage, making clear the need for a domestic supply of medical isotopes. The shortage has forced some doctors to delay patient care or shift to more costly medical tests.

Most of the world’s enriched uranium is stockpiled for weapons — the primary use for the energy source. But some enriched uranium makes it's way into medical use. "We do not use highly enriched uranium for any medical use — not directly," Dr. James O'Donnell, division chief of nuclear medicine at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio told FOXNews.com. "But it’s a precursor — a building block — that can be put into a nuclear reactor, which causes fission and breaks it apart. One of the byproducts we are left with is technetium, a medical isotope used to perform imaging tests."

Technetium is like a light bulb, O'Donnell explained. "We screw it on to a molecule of medicine that goes to a certain organ," he said. "We are actually experiencing a shortage of technetium now. We rely on five reactors around the world, which are located in Canada, South Africa and three in Europe." Canada's reactor shutdown in May.

Technetium — a rapidly decaying substance — has a shelf life of just 67 hours, making it impossible to stockpile. Technetium-99m, a radioactive byproduct of Mo-99, is used in over 14 million nuclear medicine procedures in the United States each year.

"It’s one of our favorite 'light bulbs' for bone scans, cardiac scans, lung scans, liver scans, etc," O'Donnell said, noting that technetium is "virtually harmless."

"It’s used in microgram quantities for its properties of radioactivity. We want to detect externally where it goes in the body — what organ it goes to. It [technetium] gives off gamma rays, which are detected from a gamma camera ."

The American Medical Isotopes Production Act of 2009, a bill sponsored by Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., who chairs the subcommittee, and Rep.Fred Upton, R-Mich., would provide the Secretary of Energy with $163 million to promote the production of molybdenum-99 in the United States. It would also require that medical isotopes produced in the United States be made from low-enriched uranium, and any imported isotopes be made that way as well. Medical imaging procedures that rely on medical isotopes improve patient care and can reduce costs.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“At first, everyone was excited about all the world leaders in town for the big U.N. grand opening of the U.N. session . . . but now we’re all sick of them, and we want them to go home. Traffic is insane; you can’t get anywhere . . . and Gadhafi with that stretch camel — who’s he kidding?”

Late Show with David Letterman

Vaccine Initiates Hope

In Thailand, an experimental vaccine prevented AIDS. No one should exaggerate this achievement. No one should overstate this success. AIDS has murdered fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, acquaintances, colleagues, companions, and friends. This vaccine is medical progress.

As A Coyote, Gretzky Was Ugly

Greatness is non-transferrable. Brilliant businessmen can not succeed as owners. Conversant owners can not succeed as executives. Exceptional executives can not succeed as coaches. Accomplished coaches can not succeed as executives. Superb players can not succeed as coaches and executives.

On Wednesday, Phoenix Coyotes Coach Wayne Gretzky resigned. Former Dallas Stars Coach Dave Tippett supplanted him. “This was a difficult decision that I've thought long and hard about,” said Gretzky. “We all hoped there would be a resolution earlier this month to the Coyotes ownership situation, but the decision is taking longer than expected. Since both remaining bidders have made it clear that I don't fit into their future plans, I approached general manager Don Maloney and suggested he begin looking for someone to replace me as coach. Don has worked hard and explored many options. I think he has made an excellent choice, and so now it's time for me to step aside.”

Phoenix’s financial and ownership chaos have owned this offseason. “It's been impossible to sell tickets because nobody knows if it's going to be here,” said Owner Jerry Moyes. “So I think this will be the opening of the floodgates, and if the fans are convinced that the team needs to be here, and sponsors, this will be an opportunity for them to prove that the team should be here. That's what I've said all along -- my first choice has always been to leave the team here and find support to leave it here.”

As an athlete, Gretzky amassed 894 goals, 1,963 assists, and 2,857 points. As a coach, he amassed a 143-161-24 record. “As always, Wayne placed the welfare of the team ahead of his own in making this extremely difficult decision,” said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. “While the Coyotes have not had the degree of on-ice success that always has been Wayne's objective, there can be no question he has played a vital role in the youth movement that has positioned the Coyotes for success in the future.”

During his career, Tippett has logged a 271-156-28-37 ledger. “There's a lot of off-ice situations that we can't control, so what we're going to do is concentrate on what we have to do on the ice to earn the right to be a playoff team,” he said. “I really like some of their young players, I think there's a great upside to this group and the chance to come and build something was very exciting to me.”

Gretzky’s resignation is the sad end of a sorry episode. He should have never obtained ownership. He should have never commenced coaching. Gretzky and Phoenix were an inopportune pairing. They are a professional embarrassment. Gretzky’s tenure parallels his retirement. Bizarre and inexplicable.

Yahoo: The Keeper Code

1. Keeper clue: He has his act together.
This seems like a no-brainer, but it's a good place to start. "It's very important that you two be able to have a lot of fun together, so a party boy or a screw-up will probably not work out for you," says Mira Kirshenbaum, a family and couples therapist and author of Is He Mr. Right? "No matter how charming he is, if he is still struggling to grow up, it will get very old, very fast."

2. Keeper clue: He puts you first.
Picture a delicious platter of grilled steak. Does your man offer it to you first to pick the best piece? He does if he's a keeper! "When it comes to taking the best piece of meat or offering it to you, that's a metaphor for how he'd always put you first the rest of your life," says Rachel Greenwald, author of "Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought of You After Your Date."

3. Keeper clue: He's not afraid of your germs.
You know a guy is really into you when he can't stay away, even when you're bedridden and snotty. "When you're sick with the flu, he says, 'Let me come over and take care of you,' rather than, 'Oooh, you sound really contagious... call me when you're feeling better,'" Greenwald says.

4. Keeper clue: He's a family man.
He asks about your family, and he seems to genuinely want to hear about them. "Interest in your family shows that he thinks about you as a whole person, and he knows that being with you means understanding and accepting your relatives too," says Sarah Harrison, senior editor of yourtango.com.

5. Keeper clue: He makes time for your friends.
In the beginning of your relationship, does your man show an interest in meeting your besties? And does he follow it up with a plan, like hosting a low-key dinner party? "Friends are an important part of your life, and his knowing them makes him more involved with you." Harrison says. "Plus, he'll have to deal with them at some point, so initiating it himself shows maturity."

6. Keeper clue: He's your biggest cheerleader.
When your guy calls your mom to tell her about your promotion before you do, that should tell you something. A man who is supportive of you and your goals is typically a guy who doesn't "feel threatened by your success," says Kirshenbaum. "He knows who he is and where he's going," which means he can ultimately be there for you.

7. Keeper clue: He remembers the little things.
Does your man really listen to you? You'll know he's a keeper if you tell him you have a big scary work meeting and the next time you talk, he asks how it went. Or if you tell him you left your sunglasses at his house and he remembers them on your next date. "Following up on things you say to him means he pays attention to you -- always a good sign," Harrison says.

8. Keeper clue: He's happy when you're happy.
This is the guy who "goes to a chick flick with you on Friday night rather than an action film -- not because he actually wants to, but because it makes you happy," says Greenwald.

9. Keeper clue: He makes you the best you can be.
A guy who makes you feel like the luckiest woman alive -- like you can (and should!) be your confident, fabulous self -- is worth hanging on to. "It's not just about how you feel about him but more about how he makes you feel about yourself," Kirshenbaum says.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“If you wanted to, you could get on the eBay and you could bid on having dinner with Sarah Palin. Did you know that? Yep, you could bid on it. And the winning bid was $63,000. It's the most expensive date with a governor since Eliot Spitzer.”

Late Show with David Letterman

President Obama Emphasizes Responsibility

United Nations Address Complete Text

The Rants of Two Clowns

Cowboys Owner, Dallas Star Diverge Over Quarterback

Jerry Jones: “We have all the confidence in the world in Tony Romo. You'd like for him not to have a day like that [Sunday], but when everybody is pointing fingers, when it didn't go good, then you want someone who can walk into that huddle in the next snap at practice, the next snap in the ballgame and walk out there and cut and shoot and play like they just won the Super Bowl. That's a great quarterback.”

Tony Dorsett: “I don't know why on God's earth Tony Romo has been anointed a superstar in the National Football League. Tony is very young in his career. Not to say you can't be young in your career and be a superstar because you've got one up there in Minnesota in Adrian Peterson. But the thing is this: You have a guy who hasn't done much, and quarterbacks in the NFL, most of them go through this growing curve. He hasn't gone through that growing curve, but he was anointed this great player all of a sudden. Now he's having to live up to that. And obviously Tony has some deficiencies. He's a good player who's still learning how to play in the NFL, and I think the media has given him too much credit for doing nothing. He hasn't done anything really in the NFL to deserve all the recognition and visibility he's gotten so far.”

Dailies Reassignment

Commencing Monday, Culture Popped’s twitter will host the Daily Smak, New Rule, and Worth A Read. As Platinum Bunny Multimedia possesses multiple platforms, we must allocate and maximize our resources. We hope you continue reading and understand.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“Dictators tend to be tiny: Kim Jong Il? Tiny little guy. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Tiny little guy. Mayor Bloomberg? Tiny little guy.”

Late Show with David Letterman

The Threat is Serious, Urgent, & Growing

Climate Change Address Complete Text

Jam For One, Job For Another

On Tuesday morning, Congress passed unemployment assistance (331-83). On Tuesday afternoon, General Motors announced a payroll expansion. America’s economic crisis has not concluded. Americans are simply ensnared.

Money Must Pay

Instead of a substantial garnishment, Floyd Mayweather will reimburse the Internal Revenue Service. I admire Mayweather. However, his insolence is unacceptable. Celebrities must pay taxes.

Monologue Joke of the Evening

“The Emmys were on CBS last night. Wow, what a show. And I thought we outlawed torture.”

Late Show with David Letterman

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Cedric Benson (RB – Bengals): 29 carries, 141 yards
(Win: 31-24 at Packers)

Drew Brees (QB – Saints): 25/34, 311 yards, 3 td
(Win: 48-22 at Eagles)

Dallas Clark (TE – Colts): 7 receptions, 183 yards, 1 td
(Win: 27-23 at Dolphins)

Frank Gore (RB – 49ers): 16 carries, 207 yards, 2 td
(Win: 23-10 vs. Seahawks)

Fred Jackson (RB – Bills): 28 carries, 163 yards
(Win: 33-20 vs. Buccaneers)

Chris Johnson (RB – Titans): 16 carries, 197 yards, 2 td
(Loss: 34-31 vs. Texans)

Eli Manning (QB – Giants): 25/38, 330 yards, 2 td
(Win: 33-31 at Cowboys)

Mario Manningham (WR – Giants): 10 receptions, 150 yards, 1 td
(Win: 33-31 at Cowboys)

Matt Schaub (QB – Texans): 25/39, 357 yards, 4 td
(Win: 34-31 at Titans)

Steve Smith (WR – Giants): 10 receptions, 134 yards, 1 td
(Win: 33-31 at Cowboys)

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition)

Jeremy Avery (RB – Boise State): 11 carries, 186 yards
(Win: 51-34 at Fresno State)

Jahvid Best (RB – California): 26 carries, 131 yards, 5 td
(Win: 35-21 at Minnesota)

Joe Cox (QB – Georgia): 18/26, 375 yards, 5 td
(Win: 52-41 at Arkansas)

Andre Dixon (RB – Connecticut): 31 carries, 149 yards, 3 td
(Win: 30-22 at Baylor)

LaMichael James (RB – Oregon): 27 carries, 152 yards, 1 td
(Win: 31-24 vs. Utah)

Landry Jones (QB – Oklahoma): 25/37, 336 yards, 6 td
(Win: 45-0 vs. Tulsa)

Ty Jones (RB – Florida State): 12 carries, 108 yards, 1 td
(Win: 54-28 at BYU)

Darius Marshall (RB – Marshall): 21 carries, 186 yards, 1 td
(Win: 17-10 vs. Bowling Green)

Tony Pike (QB – Cincinnati): 31/49, 332 yards, 2 td
(Win: 28-18 at Oregon State)

Golden Tate (WR – Notre Dame): 7 receptions, 127 yards, 1 td
(Win: 33-30 vs. Michigan State)

Mike Williams (WR – Syracuse): 11 carries, 209 yards, 2 td
(Win: 37-34 vs. Northwestern)

Ryan Williams (RB – Virginia Tech): 21 carries, 107 yards, 1 td
(Win: 16-15 vs. Nebraska)

The Contest is Concluded, The Chatter Continues

Urban Meyer: “When I saw them start handing the ball off, I didn't feel like they were going after the win. The way we lose a game there is throw an interception. Why put yourself in that position? Let's find a way to win the game. We're not trying to impress the pollsters. We're trying to win the game. A lot of it had to do with the way they were playing. It made our life a little easier. They wanted to shorten the game. I remember looking out there and there's 10 minutes left in the game and there's no no-huddle, they are down, I think it was 23-6 and there's no urgency.”

Lane Kiffin: “I don't know. I guess we'll wait and after we're not excited about a performance, we'll tell you everybody was sick. This offseason the commissioner made a big deal of renewing vows in terms of what we say about other teams, other coaches and other players. Obviously Urban feels he doesn't need to follow that. We won't say anything else. I wish it was like basketball where we got another chance to play them, where we play them two times in a year. Unfortunately we won't get to play him again, and they'll have to play without Tim Tebow next time.”

Astros Ax Colleague Cooper

On Monday, the Houston Astros fired Manager Cecil Cooper. “We're tasked with evaluating all aspects of our situation,” said General Manager Ed Wade. “At the end of the day, we're going to try to address those off-field issues that exist. We're not walking away from it. The issue we had to address here, in the short term, was the managerial issue and that's why we moved forward today.”

During his tenure, Cooper accrued a 171-170 record. In 2007, he was 15-16. In 2008, he was 86-75. Upon his firing, the Astros stood 70-79. “We haven't been to the playoffs in four years and it seems like we've been on a gradual downward spiral,” said Lance Berkman. “You can't just point to one thing, I think there are several factors involved in that. But, if there was an environment for sweeping change or reform, this would be it.”

Cooper was never the correct hire. He was not an impact hire. He was simply a convenient solution. The Astros are a vanishing franchise. They should have never considered him.

President Obama: Change is Color Blind

Emmy Live Blog & Rehash

Drama Series
Prediction: "Mad Men"
Winner: "Mad Men"

Comedy Series
Prediction: "The Office"
Winner: "30 Rock"

Reality-Competition Program
Prediction: "Dancing with the Stars"
Winner: "The Amazing Race"

Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Prediction: Hugh Laurie "House"
Winner: Bryan Cranston "Breaking Bad"

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Prediction: John Slattery "Mad Men"
Winner: Michael Emerson "Lost"

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Prediction: Steve Carell "The Office"
Winner: Alec Baldwin "30 Rock"

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Prediction: Tracy Morgan "30 Rock"
Winner: Jon Cryer "Two and a Half Men"

Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Prediction: Elisabeth Moss "Mad Men"
Winner: Glenn Close "Damages"

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Prediction: Chandra Wilson "Grey’s Anatomy"
Winner: Cherry Jones "24"

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Prediction: Tina Fey "30 Rock"
Winner: Toni Collette "The United States of Tara"

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Prediction: Jane Krakowski "30 Rock"
Winner: Kristin Chenoweth "Pushing Daises"

Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie
Prediction: Kevin Bacon "Taking Chance"
Winner: Brendan Gleeson "Into the Storm"

Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie
Prediction: Drew Barrymore "Grey Gardens"
Winner: Jessica Lange "Grey Gardens"

Emmy Predictions

Drama Series

"Big Love"
"Breaking Bad"
"Damages"
"Dexter"
"House"
"Lost"
"Mad Men"

PREDICTION: "Mad Men"

Comedy Series

"30 Rock"
"Entourage"
"Family Guy"
"Flight of the Conchords"
“How I Met Your Mother”
"The Office"
"Weeds"

PREDICTION: "The Office"

Reality-Competition Program

"The Amazing Race"
"American Idol"
"Dancing With the Stars"
"Project Runway"
"Top Chef"

PREDICTION: "Dancing With the Stars"

Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Simon Baker “The Mentalist”
Gabriel Byrne "In Treatment"
Bryan Cranston "Breaking Bad"
Michael Hall "Dexter"
Jon Hamm "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie "House"

PREDICTION: Hugh Laurie "House"

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Christian Clemenson “Boston Legal”
Michael Emerson "Lost"
William Hurt “Damages”
Aaron Paul “Breaking Bad”
William Shatner "Boston Legal"
John Slattery "Mad Men"

PREDICTION: John Slattery "Mad Men"

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Alec Baldwin "30 Rock"
Steve Carell "The Office"
Jemaine Clement "Flight of the Conchords"
Jim Parsons “The Big Bang Theory”
Tony Shalhoub "Monk"
Charlie Sheen "Two and a Half Men"

PREDICTION: Steve Carell "The Office"

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Jon Cryer "Two and a Half Men"
Kevin Dillon "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris "How I Met Your Mother"
Jack McBrayer “30 Rock”
Tracy Morgan “30 Rock”
Rainn Wilson "The Office"

PREDICTION: Tracy Morgan “30 Rock”

Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Glenn Close "Damages"
Sally Field "Brothers & Sisters"
Mariska Hargitay "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Holly Hunter "Saving Grace"
Elisabeth Moss “Mad Men”
Kyra Sedgwick "The Closer"

PREDICTION: Elisabeth Moss “Mad Men”

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Rose Byrne “Damages”
Hope Davis “In Treatment”
Cherry Jones “24”
Sandra Oh "Grey's Anatomy"
Dianne Wiest "In Treatment"
Chandra Wilson "Grey's Anatomy"

PREDICTION: Chandra Wilson "Grey's Anatomy"

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Christina Applegate "Samantha Who"
Toni Collette “United States of Tara”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
Tina Fey "30 Rock"
Mary-Louise Parker "Weeds"
Sarah Silverman “The Sara Silverman Program”

PREDICTION: Tina Fey "30 Rock"

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Kristin Chenoweth "Pushing Daises"
Jane Krakowski “30 Rock”
Elisabeth Perkins “Weeds”
Amy Poehler "Saturday Night Live"
Kristen Wiig “Saturday Night Live”
Vanessa Williams "Ugly Betty"

PREDICTION: Jane Krakowski “30 Rock”

Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie

Kevin Bacon “Taking Chance”
Kenneth Branagh “Wallander: One Step Behind”
Brendan Gleeson “Into the Storm”
Kevin Kline “Cyrano de Bergerac”
Sir Ian McKellen “King Lear”
Kiefer Sutherland “24: Redemption”

PREDICTION: Kevin Bacon “Taking Chance”

Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie

Drew Barrymore “Grey Gardens”
Jessica Lange “Grey Gardens”
Shirley MacLaine “Coco Chanel”
Sigourney Weaver “Prayers For Bobby”
Chandra Wilson “Accidental Friendship”

PREDICTION: Drew Barrymore “Grey Gardens”

Big Five & Hot Five

Big Five

Annie Lee

Floyd Mayweather

Juan Martin Del Porto

Kim Clijsters

President Obama

Hot Five

College Football

Healthcare

Kanye West

MTV Video Music Awards

Serena Williams

Line of the Morning

President Obama

“Unfortunately, we've got a 24-hour news cycle where what gets you on the news is controversy. What gets you on the news is the extreme statement. The easiest way to get 15 minutes on the news, or your 15 minutes of fame, is to be rude.”