Betting the Pass Line

Bengals (-6 ½) at Browns
Chad Johnson has promised a dog pound leap. As reciprocation, the dog pound should jump their team.

49ers at Rams (-3)
Alex Smith is a Utah quarterback. Mark Bulger is a professional quarterback. Favor the Rams.

Falcons (+10) at Jaguars
Everyone is lamenting Joey Harrington. Why not David Garrard?

Saints (-3) at Buccaneers
Following their nightmare, the Saints should rebound. Reggie Bush will ignite them.

Chargers (+4) at Patriots
Clearly, the Patriots are distracted. Given the aforesaid, LaDainian Tomlinson should gash them.

Taping Fiasco Latest Patriot Puzzle

Last Sunday, the New England Patriots illicitly recorded the New York Jets. On Thursday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell penalized them. Coach Bill Belichick was fined $500,000. The Patriots were fined $250,000. Draft selections were also revoked.

New England’s actions were asinine and repugnant. The Patriots knew the illegality. Yet, they flouted authority. Are they tainted? The Patriots are an enigma. They are aloof and incomprehensible. Obviously, these actions were bizarre. Yet, they mirrored this franchise.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 4-1 Season: 4-1)

Ohio State (-4) at Washington
Obviously, the Huskies have improved. With that stated, Chris Wells will gash them.

Notre Dame at Michigan (-8 ½)
On Wednesday, Mike Hart guaranteed victory. Assuming he performs, the Wolverines should win.

Middle Tennessee State (+41) at LSU
Last week, Middle Tennessee nagged Louisville. Versus the Tigers, they should similarly annoy.

Arkansas (-3 ½) at Alabama
Everyone is lauding Nick Saban. Why not Darren McFadden?

Florida State (-4) at Colorado
Following their abysmal commencement, the Seminoles should improve. However, they must harass Cody Hawkins.

Ravaged City

On Thursday, Greg Oden underwent microfracture knee surgery. Potentially, he will miss this season. Oden’s injury is devastating. The Portland Trailblazers’ have been stunted. I will not parallel Oden and Sam Bowie. However, I will reignite this debate. Oden or Kevin Durant?

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

President Proposes Withdraw, Enduring Presence

President Bush’s Iraq Address

Withering White Sox Want Guillen

On Wednesday, the Chicago White Sox retained Manager Ozzie Guillen. Guillen signed a three-year contract. During his tenure, Guillen has accrued a 345-299 record. Upon his retention, the White Sox stood 62-84.

According to General Manager Ken Williams, Guillen is not responsible. “The problems that we are having right now, I simply do not believe that they are problems that are with our coaching staff or with our manager,” Williams said. “I already said previously that I put all that weight on my shoulders. I'm the one that has to put them in a better position to win baseball games and that means going out and making the necessary adjustments to get this team where we are better and get guys back up to their normal level of production.”

Professional sports are shortsighted. They are absurdly forgettable. Consistently, franchises ignore accomplishments. They embrace change for change. Guillen is abrasive, obnoxious, and severe. With that stated, he is a World Series champion. I am elated the White Sox retained him.

Game Balls (NFL Edition)

Shawn Alexander (RB – Seahawks): 27 carries, 105 yards, 1 td
(Win: 20-6 vs. Buccaneers)

Chris Brown (RB – Titans): 19 carries, 175 yards
(Win: 13-10 at Jaguars)

Antonio Gates (TE – Chargers): 9 receptions, 107 yards, 1 td
(Win: 14-3 vs. Bears)

Travis Henry (RB – Broncos): 23 carries, 139 yards
(Win: 15-14 at Bills)

Andre Johnson (WR – Texans): 7 receptions, 142 yards, 1 td
(Win: 20-3 vs. Chiefs)

Randy Moss (WR – Patriots): 9 receptions, 183 yards, 1 td
(Win: 38-14 at Jets)

Antwaan Randle El (WR – Redskins): 5 receptions, 162 yards
(Win: 16-13 vs. Dolphins)

Tony Romo (QB – Cowboys): 15/24, 345 yards, 4 td; 3 carries, 11 yards, 1 td
(Win: 45-35 vs. Giants)

Steve Smith (WR – Panthers): 7 receptions, 118 yards, 1 td
(Win: 27-13 at Rams)

Reggie Wayne (WR – Colts): 7 receptions, 115 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-10 vs. Saints)

Game Balls (College Football Edition)

Anthony Allen (RB – Louisville): 35 carries, 275 yards, 2 td
(Win: 58-42 vs. Middle Tennessee)

Colt Brennan (QB – Hawaii): 43/61, 548 yards, 4 td
(Win: 45-44 at Louisiana Tech)

Brian Brohm (QB – Louisville): 25/39, 401 yards, 5 td
(Win: 58-42 vs. Middle Tennessee)

Andre Callender (RB – Boston College): 18 carries, 158 yards, 2 td
(Win: 37-17 vs. North Carolina State)

Jamaal Charles (RB – Texas): 22 carries, 134 yards, 1 td
(Win: 34-13 vs. TCU)

Chase Daniel (QB – Missouri): 31/42, 330 yards, 5 td
(Win: 38-25 at Mississippi)

PJ Hill (RB – Wisconsin): 30 carries, 147 yards
(Win: 20-13 at UNLV)

Brandon LaFell (WR – LSU): 7 receptions, 125 yards
(Win: 48-7 vs. Virginia Tech)

Patrick Pinkney (QB – East Carolina): 31/41, 406 yards, 3 td
(Win: 34-31 vs. North Carolina)

Ontario Sneed (RB – Central Michigan): 29 carries, 168 yards, 3 td
(Win: 52-31 vs. Toledo)

Devin Thomas (WR – Michigan State): 4 receptions, 156 yards, 2 td
(Win: 28-17 vs. Bowling Green)

Keiland Williams (RB – LSU): 7 carries, 126 yards, 2 td
(Win: 48-7 vs. Virginia Tech)

Hagel Continues Republican Exodus

On Monday, Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) retired. Despite party pressure, Hagel maintained independence. Personally, I disliked him. However, his retirement is devastating. Sans a Republican dynamo, two Democratic Senators will represent Nebraska.

Move On Morons

Moveon.org is pathetic. They are disgusting and repulsive. They are also irrelevant. They are merely fringe. They do not speak for Democrats. Democrats should denounce them.

The President’s Wife

Jane Wyman
(1917-2007)

A Great Celebration?

Frye Finished, Why Not Quinn?

On Tuesday, the Cleveland Browns traded Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks. As reciprocation, the Browns received a sixth round selection. This maneuver was bizarre. During the preseason, Frye outperformed Derek Anderson. Obviously, Frye’s debut was dreadful. However, Anderson is not the solution. Brady Quinn is Cleveland’s future. Given Frye’s departure, he should start.

Clinton Cans Caged Hsu

Last week, fugitive fundraiser Norman Hsu jumped bail. Eventually, he was discovered and arrested. This week, Senator Hillary Clinton forfeited every Hsu donation. The total amount? $850,000. Clinton’s actions are appropriate. Hsu is a repugnant criminal. His behavior was predictable. He should have never received bail. Immediately, his passport should have been revoked. Hsu perverted justice. He flouted authority twice. He warrants figurative castration.

Never Forget (2007)

Line of the Morning

Senator Joe Biden (D-DE)

“Look, everybody says… how we cut off the funds in the war in Vietnam. I was there. I was a 29-year-old kid. It wasn’t until 1975 we cut off funds, and that was only after we brought the majority of the troops home. This is the president’s war... But we must, we must, we must protect these troops.”

Gibbs Joins Toyota, Stuns NASCAR

On Wednesday, Joe Gibbs Racing joined Toyota Motorsports. According to Gibbs, future considerations made the decision. “Toyota has a little different model than what GM has,” Gibbs said. “For us, there'll be resources there down the road, certainly things we're not going to be able to afford to do [if we stayed at GM]. For us going forward, we can lean on Toyota hard in some areas.”

During their inaugural season, Toyota has recorded seven top ten finishes. During their sixteen seasons, Joe Gibbs Racing has accrued 58 wins and 264 top five finishes. They have also garnered three championships. “If anybody said at the beginning of the season Toyota would be sitting at a press announcement on Sept. 5 announcing Joe Gibbs Racing as a part of the overall team effort we all would have had a hearty laugh,” said Toyota Racing Development CEO Jim Aust. “Joe Gibbs Racing is one of the most respected teams in NASCAR, a championship-caliber race team and a first-class organization. We are confident that partnering with the Gibbs team will raise the level of our entire Toyota NASCAR program, and will be beneficial to all of the current teams racing the Toyota Camry.”

Earthquakes are transforming. They are cataclysmic. Occasionally, they improve landscapes. Consistently, they devastate them. Gibbs joining Toyota was an earthquake. The reverberations rattled NASCAR. Currently, the maneuver appears disastrous. Five years subsequent, the appearance will divulge.

NEW RULE

Upsets are upsets.

Last weekend, Appalachian State defeated Michigan. The Mountaineer’s victory was monumental. Unfortunately, the euphoria has inspired hallucinations. Kirk Herbstreit apologized. The Associated Press amended their guidelines. Evidently, miracles occur consistently.

Appalachian State’s victory was spectacular. However, their victory was an aberration. Essentially, they were a sixteen seed defeating a one. Their afternoon was significant. Their afternoon was not transforming. Reclassification is unnecessary. Upon any given day, any given team cannot win. Otherwise, Appalachian State’s win would not have been shocking.

Re-Contesting Pork Chop Hill

President Roh: I think I might be wrong -- I think I did not hear President Bush mention the -- a declaration to end the Korean War just now. Did you say so, President Bush?

President Bush: I said it's up to Kim Jong Il as to whether or not we're able to sign a peace treaty to end the Korean War. He's got to get rid of his weapons in a verifiable fashion. And we're making progress toward that goal. It's up to him.

President Roh: I believe that they are the same thing, Mr. President. If you could be a little bit clearer in your message, I think –

President Bush: I can't make it any more clear, Mr. President. We look forward to the day when we can end the Korean War. That will end -- will happen when Kim Jong-il verifiably gets rid of his weapons programs and his weapons. Thank you, sir.

Worth A Read

The M Zone

Michigan football commentary, critiques, praise, rants, and thoughts. Excellent Know Your Foe feature.

The Daily Smak

Hey, weren’t you not resigning?

Yesterday, a 1909 Honus Wagner card sold. The price? $2.8 million. The buyer? Leona Helmsely’s dog.

Today’s top five or most impressive Colts performances (1) Reggie Wayne, (2) Peyton Manning, (3) Joseph Addai, (4) Marvin Harrison, (5) Jason David