Saturday, December 29, 2007

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 40-35)

Patriots at Giants (+13)
On Saturday, the inevitable will occur. The Patriots will lose.

Seahawks (+1) at Falcons
Simply stated, the Falcons are apocryphal.

Bengals (-3) at Dolphins
Last week, the Bengals defeated the Browns 19-14. Despite their struggle, they will conclude winning.

Saints (-2) at Bears
In the NFC Championship Game, the Bears defeated the Saints 39-14. On Sunday, the Saints will score revenge.

Titans at Colts (+4 ½)
Everyone’s assumption? Titans defeat Colts. Never assume…

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 3-8)

Meineke Car Care Bowl
Connecticut vs. Wake Forest (-2 ½)

Everyone is celebrating Randy Edsall. Why not Jim Grobe?

Auto Zone Liberty Bowl
Central Florida (-2 ½) vs. Mississippi State

Once, Mississippi State Coach Sylvester Croom taught defense. On Saturday, Kevin Smith will educate him.

Valero Alamo Bowl
Penn State (-4 ½) vs. Texas A&M

In the 1999 Alamo Bowl, Penn State trampled Texas A&M 24-0. Simply stated, history will reoccur.

McCain: Reports of My Demise…

Senator John McCain: “I’ve been declared dead in this campaign on five or six occasions. I won’t refer to a recent movie I saw, but I think I am legend. Somehow we’ve had a Lazarus-like experience. I think it’s because I’ve been telling the truth. I’ve been telling people the truth whether I thought that’s what they wanted or not.”

Yahoo: Twin Terrorism

With a greeting that was as telling as it was macabre, Imane Laghriss dropped her satchel on the table of a trendy coffee shop here recently. "It's stuffed with explosives, watch out!" snapped the young woman, echoing the grim humor commonly heard among Moroccan teenagers. But Ms. Laghriss's remark carried with it a degree of stark reality.

Four years ago, she and her twin sister, Sanae, were arrested for planning to blow themselves up inside Morocco's parliament. They were 14 at the time. The two were sentenced to five years in jail in 2003. After serving 18 months and nearly two years in a juvenile center, they are now free. But while Imane claims to have forgone violence, she still holds the same radical ideology that inspired the unrealized plan. She surfs radical websites and says she wants to go to Iraq to fight US troops – "but not civilians."

The two women represent the leading edge of what security analysts and terrorism experts say is an emerging threat facing both Western and Arab countries: younger jihadis who have been recruited over the Internet or inspired to act through militant Islamist literature or videos. What's more, analysts say, these young radicals often don't belong to a centralized group and may even act on their own.

"As I speak, terrorists are methodically and intentionally targeting young people and children in this country. They are radicalizing, indoctrinating, and grooming young, vulnerable people to carry out acts of terrorism," said Jonathan Evans, the director general of the British MI5, the security service, in November.

He warned that teenagers as young as 15 and 16 have been implicated in "terrorist-related" activities as a result of a deliberate strategy pursued by radical Islamist groups. On Wednesday, Pakistani police arrested a 15-year-old boy for allegedly trying to blow himself up at a rally for opposition leader Benazir Bhutto, who was killed Thursday as she left an election rally in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. In September, a 15-year-old killed 30 people when he drove a truck full of explosives into an Algerian naval barracks.

And, in mid-November, the US declared that Omar Khadr, a Canadian national detained in Guantánamo Bay, was eligible for trial by a military commission, making him potentially the first minor to be tried for war crimes. He was arrested in Afghanistan when he was 15 and accused of killing a US soldier and conspiring with Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda network.

Analysts say this younger, more diverse, disparate, and more unpredictable crop of operatives is a prime recruiting pool for Al Qaeda's off-shoots as the terror network becomes increasingly decentralized. "We now face organized groups as well as individuals with no clear links to terrorist groups, some of them quite young," said Khalid Zerouali, who heads Morocco's effort to combat transnational crime at the Interior Ministry. "It makes it that much harder for us to identify them."

According to Gabriel Weimann, a professor of communications at the University of Haifa in Israel and the author of "Terror on the Internet," there are more than 5,000 websites "serving the global jihad," many of which are forums and chat rooms.

Ned Moran, the deputy director of Total Intelligence Solutions, a security consulting firm in Virginia, says he believes the actual number of "real, serious" Al Qaeda-inspired sites numbers in the hundreds. By "serious," he means those including four elements: propaganda, ideological debates, strategic discussions, and tactical advice.

"Bin Laden doesn't need to send recruiters to North Africa, they just come to him virtually," says Abdallah Rami, who is finishing a dissertation at Hassan II University in Casablanca on the role of the Internet in the "salafist" movement, as the radical brand of Islamist militancy is known.

For Imane Laghriss, the connection to the salafist movement was virtual at first, through her heroes discovered on television such as Mr. bin Laden after 9/11 and Mohammed el-Dura, a Palestinian boy killed in front of TV cameras during a skirmish between Israelis and Palestinians in 2000. Images of his death sparked controversy as they became linked to the Palestinian cause. In many respects, she is a normal young woman who speaks about building a family and giggles at the mention of a potential husband.

After their birth to a prostitute mother and an unknown father in 1989, Imane and Sanae were handed to their grandparents, with whom they lived until age 5. They were then separated and lived with a variety of family members. They eventually found a second family in the salafist movement.

When they reunited with their mother in Rabat, the two began hanging out with local Islamists. Imane began wearing the veil and they eventually found a spiritual guide in a militant named Abdelkader Labsir. He encouraged them to follow the example of "martyrs" who have killed themselves in Afghanistan and Chechnya.

After a dozen young men detonated themselves in Casablanca in May 2003, killing 45 people, the twins concocted a plan to bomb a liquor store, which they abandoned in favor of the plot to blow themselves up inside the parliament. But after Imane wrote to a local imam informing him about their plans, he immediately alerted the police, who arrested them in August 2003.

They were indicted of terrorist conspiracy and of plotting against the royal family. At their trial, they proudly proclaimed their intentions. They went on to write a pamphlet against the king, for which they received an additional 2-1/2-year prison term that was reduced to one year in appeal.

They eventually pledged to forgo violence and asked for a pardon, which King Mohammed VI granted in April 2005. When they were release from jail, Assia el Ouadie, a veteran human rights activist, placed them in a juvenile center in the suburbs of Casablanca "because [she] feared they could again become the prey of radical circles," she explained.

Last year, an association helping imprisoned youth found work for them at a bus factory. All went well for two months until Sanae fled the center for three weeks. They lost their jobs, but Imane eventually convinced her boss to take her back. A couple of social workers are trying, largely on their own, to steer the twins toward a more peaceful existence. One of them, Chazira Amor, explained that the sisters had received no psychological support because Morocco has no system in place to assist young drifters and prevent them from falling prey to radical networks. Mr. Zerouali, the interior minister senior official, stressed that the government is building some 200,000 housing units a year to eliminate the slums from which most young jihadis hail.

NEW RULE (Best of 2007 - #2)

Parenting should require a license.

Driving requires authorization. Yet, any moron can conceive, carry, and bear a child. Typically, they produce multiple. Henceforth, no more mistakes. No more pleasurable afternoons. Pre-sex, parents must be screened. Their aptitude, ambition, and attitudes must be tested. Assuming they pass, they will be licensed. Draconian? Drivers operate a car. Parents nurture our nation’s future. Equal standards must apply.

The Daily Smak (Best of 2007)

In Michigan, Jody Lee was convicted of assault. His crime? Assault with a pickle. Horrific! What if the attacker had tossed a salad?

Thousands of Chinese condoms have been recalled. The Chinese recalling toys, depriving our children. This was fine. Depriving Americans of sex? That is wrong.

An Italian filmmaker’s ambition? Makeover the Pope. Marvelous idea. NBC has ordered six episodes.

Fox News: Murder Not the Case

Chicago and New York are about to close out 2007 with the lowest number of homicides in more than 40 years, while cities such as Baltimore, Atlanta and Miami have seen killings go up because of what police say is a surge in guns and gang violence.

New York City reported 479 killings as of Dec. 23 — down 17 percent from the same period last year. The city is on track to have the lowest number of killings since reliable record-keeping started in 1963.

Homicides in New York reached an all-time high of 2,245 in 1990, making the city the U.S.'s murder capital. Since then, the numbers have plummeted, and experts attribute the decline in part to computerized tracking of crime trends and the practice of strategically flooding high-crime areas with police officers instead of spreading them evenly through the precincts.

Chicago is on track to have the lowest homicide toll since 1965, when police reported 395 killings. The city had logged 435 slayings through Dec. 26. In the early part of the decade, police often reported more than 600 a year. Chicago officials credit the improvement to their tough stance on gangs, guns and drugs. "Those three ingredients, so to speak, are what we're focused on," said police spokeswoman Monique Bond. "That's really what leads to random violence."

Those factors were blamed for increases in murders in other cities. Atlanta had 126 homicides as of Dec. 26, compared with 111 for the same period a year ago. Police attributed some of the increase to a New Orleans-based gang that moved into town after Hurricane Katrina. Members of the International Robbing Crew are accused of killing at least seven people in Atlanta.

In Miami, authorities say the proliferation of assault weapons led to an increase in killings, from 56 in 2005 to 79 in 2006 and 86 so far in 2007. "You just pull a trigger and 20 or 30 rounds come in a second and in those 20 rounds you're sure to hit your intended target and some innocent bystanders, totally unlike a firearm that is just one bullet every time you pull the trigger," Miami Police spokesman Willie Moreno said.

Earlier this year, Baltimore was headed for its bloodiest year in nearly a decade. But the violence eased up after a new police commissioner took office. The bloodshed in Baltimore is blamed on entrenched poverty, widespread drug addiction, failing schools and easy access to guns.

Through Dec. 26, there were 280 homicides in Baltimore — four more than in all of 2006. Things looked even grimmer in mid-July, the day Police Commissioner Leonard D. Hamm resigned. At that point, Baltimore had 178 homicides, putting it on pace for a total of 325. The city has not topped 300 since 1999.

The new police commissioner, Frederick H. Bealefeld III, and Mayor Sheila Dixon have gone after repeat violent offenders more aggressively, flooded high-crime zones with officers, and revived a unit that traces illegal guns. Also, repeat gun offenders are being sent more frequently to the federal court system, where they face stiffer sentences.

"They have become more focused, appropriately, on getting illegal guns off the streets and violent gun offenders off the street," said Daniel Webster, co-director of the Center for Gun Policy and Research at Johns Hopkins University.

It has been a particularly bloody year for children in Baltimore: Twenty-seven of this year's homicide victims were under 18. In Philadelphia, killings dipped this year after reaching a nine-year high of 406 in 2006. Through midnight Tuesday, the city had 390 slayings, or 11 fewer than at the same point a year ago.

Like Baltimore, Philadelphia is dealing with a rash of illegal handguns that officials believe are being used to resolve minor disputes. In other big cities, Phoenix reported 207 killings at the end of November, just shy of last year's total of 214 for the same period; Boston had 66 slayings as of Dec. 28, compared with 71 by the same point in 2006; Dallas was on track to finish considerably higher, with 200 homicides as of Dec. 26, versus 175 last year.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 3-5)

Champs Sports Bowl
Boston College (-5) vs. Michigan State

Michigan State commenced 4-0. They concluded 3-5. On Friday, they will complete their collapse.

Texas Bowl
TCU vs. Houston (+6)

This spread is stunning. TCU is unspectacular. Houston is offensively superior.

Emerald Bowl
Maryland (+5) vs. Oregon State

This season, Oregon State defeated Utah and Oregon. Maryland defeated Rutgers and Boston College. Favor the Terrapins.

NEW RULE (Best of 2007 - #3)

Wash your hands.

According to a study, thirty-three percent of men utilize the restroom and do not wash their hands. Seriously? Each day, American men work, date, and shake hands. They do not wear signs. Honestly, which would be more repulsive? Discovering afterward the person did not wash or the sign? What would the sign say? “Hello. Please shake my hand. My hand just touched my penis. My penis was inside of your ex-girlfriend last night.”

The Daily Smak (Best of 2007)

According to a study, men are impulsive and women are moody. Upon hearing this, men were excited. Women called the surveyors assholes.

According to a poll, New York University students would sell their vote for tuition. Immediately, Barack Obama started writing checks.

Last week, the NFL Players Association (our motto: risking Gene Upshaw’s neck daily) cancelled Oakland Raiders workouts. The Association’s concerns included the high level of intensity, player aggressiveness and fast pace practices. High level of intensity? Anyone sure these were Raiders’ practices?

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A Beacon of Democracy

Benazir Bhutto
(1953-2007)

Benazir Bhutto: Her Death & Her Dreams

Today, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. The killers were faceless. Al-Qaeda may have been responsible. Other terrorists may have been responsible. The murderers are irrelevant. They are barbarians. They are madmen. They sought martyrdom. Yet, they created a martyr. Bhutto was a beacon. She was an inspiration. She championed freedom. Her desire endures.

Bhutto was fifty-four. My mother’s age is fifty-three. Fortunately, my mother is an American. In the United States, our citizens can ascend. They can prosper. They can surmount their initial stages. They can earn and lead. The Academy Awards, the Forbes 400, and the Presidency are possibilities. How? The United States is a democracy. For Pakistan, Bhutto sought this dream. A dream never realized.

Benazir Bhutto: The World Reacts

President Bush: “The United States strongly condemns this cowardly act by murderous extremists who are trying to undermine Pakistan's democracy. Those who committed this crime must be brought to justice. Mrs. Bhutto served her nation twice as Prime Minister and she knew that her return to Pakistan earlier this year put her life at risk. Yet she refused to allow assassins to dictate the course of her country.”

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown: “Benazir Bhutto was a woman of immense personal courage and bravery. Knowing as she did the threats to her life, the previous attempt (at) assassination, she risked everything in her attempt to win democracy in Pakistan and she has been assassinated by cowards afraid of democracy. Benazir Bhutto may have been killed by terrorists but the terrorists must not be allowed to kill democracy in Pakistan and this atrocity strengthens our resolve that terrorists will not win there, here or anywhere in the world.”

Afghani President Hamid Karzai: “We in Afghanistan condemn this act of cowardice and immense brutality in the strongest possible terms. I am deeply sorry, deeply pained that this brave sister of us, this great daughter of the Muslim world is no longer with us. She sacrificed her life for the sake of Pakistan and for the sake of the region. I found her to be a very, very brave woman with a clear vision for her own country, for Afghanistan and for the region, a vision of democracy and prosperity and peace.”

Senator Joe Biden: “This is a terrible day. Like her father before her, Benazir Bhutto worked her whole life — and gave her life — to help Pakistan become a democratic, secular and modern Muslim country. She was a woman of extraordinary courage who returned to Pakistan in the face of death threats and even after an assassination attempt the day of her return, she did not flinch. The way to honor Benazir Bhutto is to uphold the values for which she gave her life: democracy, moderation and social justice. I join with the Pakistani people in mourning the loss of a dear friend.”

Senator Hillary Clinton: “I am profoundly saddened and outraged by the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, a leader of tremendous political and personal courage. Mrs. Bhutto's concern for her country, and her family, propelled her to risk her life on behalf of the Pakistani people. She returned to Pakistan to fight for democracy despite threats and previous attempts on her life, and now she has made the ultimate sacrifice. Her death is a tragedy for her country and a terrible reminder of the work that remains to bring peace, stability and hope to regions of the globe too often paralyzed by fear, hatred and violence. Let us pray that her legacy will be a brighter, more hopeful future for the people she loved and the country she served.”

Senator John Edwards: “Benazir Bhutto was a brave and historic leader for Pakistan. Her assassination is a sad and solemn event, and our hearts go out to her family and to the Pakistani people. But we will not let this contemptible, cowardly act delay the march of progress in Pakistan for a single second. We should do everything in our power to help bring the perpetrators of this heinous act to justice and to ensure that Bhutto's movement toward democracy continues.”

Mayor Rudy Giuliani: “The assassination of Benazir Bhutto is a tragic event for Pakistan and for democracy in Pakistan. Her murderers must be brought to justice, and Pakistan must continue the path back to democracy and the rule of law. Her death is a reminder that terrorism anywhere — whether in New York, London, Tel Aviv or Rawalpindi — is an enemy of freedom. We must redouble our efforts to win the Terrorists’ War on Us.”

Governor Mike Huckabee: “I am deeply troubled by the news accounts this morning of Pakistani opposition leader and former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto’s assassination in a suicide attack. This is devastating news for the people of Pakistan, and my prayers go out to them as we follow developments regarding this dire situation. The terrible violence surrounding Pakistan’s upcoming election stands in stark contrast to the peaceful transition of power that we embrace in our country through our Constitution. On this sad day, we are reminded that while our democracy has flaws, it stands as a shining beacon of hope for nations and people around the world who seek peace and opportunity through self-government.”

Senator John McCain: “The death of Benazir Bhutto underscores yet again the grave dangers we face in the world today and particularly in countries like Pakistan, where the forces of moderation are arrayed in a fierce battle against those who embrace violent Islamic extremism. Given Pakistan's strategic location, the international terrorist groups that operate from its soil, and its nuclear arsenal, the future of that country has deep implications for the security of the United States and its allies. America must stand on the right side of this ongoing struggle. In my numerous visits to Pakistan — to Islamabad, to Peshawar, even to the tribal areas of Waziristan — There are, in Pakistan, brave individuals who seek to lead their country away from extremism and instability and into the light of a better day. America, I believe, must do all we can to support them.”

Senator Barack Obama: “I am shocked and saddened by the death of Benazir Bhutto in this terrorist atrocity. She was a respected and resilient advocate for the democratic aspirations of the Pakistani people. We join with them in mourning her loss and stand with them in their quest for democracy and against the terrorists who threaten the common security of the world.”

Bo Schembechler Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Head Coach)

Mark Mangino
(Kansas)

Deion Sanders Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Athlete)

Tim Tebow
(Florida)

GAME BALLS AWARD (College Football Edition)

Colt Brennan (QB – Hawaii):
Chase Daniel (QB – Missouri):
Kevin Smith (RB – Central Florida):
Chris Wells (RB – Ohio State):
Tim Tebow (QB – Florida):
(Five Each)

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition) (Bowls – Tier One)

Jamaal Charles (RB – Texas): 27 carries, 162 yards, 2 td
(Win: 52-34 vs. Arizona State)

Austin Collie (WR – BYU): 6 receptions, 107 yards, 1 td
(Win: 17-16 vs. UCLA)

Chris Johnson (RB – East Carolina): 28 carries, 223 yards, 1 td; 3 receptions, 32 yards, 1 td
(Win: 41-38 vs. Boise State)

Dustin Keller (TE – Purdue): 7 receptions, 150 yards, 1 td
(Win: 51-48 vs. Central Michigan)

Ben Mauk (QB – Cincinnati): 30/52, 334 yards, 4 td
(Win: 31-21 vs. Southern Mississippi)

Curtis Painter (QB – Purdue): 35/54, 546 yards, 3 td
(Win: 51-48 vs. Central Michigan)

Donovan Porterie (QB – New Mexico): 20/36, 354 yards, 2 td
(Win: 23-0 vs. Nevada)

Rusty Smith (QB – Florida Atlantic): 25/32, 336 yards, 5 td
(Win: 44-27 vs. Memphis)

Marino-Elway Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Quarterback)

Tim Tebow
(Florida)

Emmitt Smith Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Running back)

Darren McFadden
(Arkansas)

Jerry Rice Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Wide Receiver)

Mario Manningham
(Michigan)

Orlando Pace Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Offensive Lineman)

Will Arnold
(LSU)

Bruce Smith Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Defensive Lineman)

Glenn Dorsey
(LSU)

Lawrence Taylor Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Linebacker)

James Laurinaitis
(Ohio State)

Darrell Green Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Defensive Back)

Antoine Cason
(Arizona)

Second City, Stupid Decision

Job security is a myth. Job security is nonexistent. Everyday, coaches are fired. Employees are discharged. Staffs are jumbled. Workforces are remade. Unless one dies or voluntarily retires, job security is imaginary.

On Christmas Eve, the Chicago Bulls fired Coach Scott Skiles. According to General Manager John Paxson, expectations inspired the firing. “I don't have a long-term solution as of today,” Paxson said. “I'm disappointed in the way we're playing, the way we're competing, the energy or lack thereof that we're playing with on the floor. I know expectations coming into the year were really, really high and we're not even close to those. I honestly believe we're a better team than we've played this year.”

Skiles understood his termination. “Hardly a day goes by that I don't demand accountability and stress results,” he said. “Today was my day to be held accountable. The fact that it's Christmas Eve is neither here nor there. The timing doesn't bother me. I'm not destitute.”

During his tenure, Skiles scraped a 172-184 record (10-12 postseason). Upon his firing, the Bulls stood 9-16. “I felt like something was going to happen,” said forward Luol Deng. “I didn't know whether it was players or coaches. But you could definitely feel there was something. It just didn't seem like we were on the same page.”

The Bulls’ decision is ridiculous. Following Michael Jordan’s exodus, Chicago carded six consecutive losing campaigns. They amassed a 119-341 record. Skiles transformed the Bulls. He made them respectable. He did not merit execution. He deserved respect. Predictably, the Bulls were stupid.

Jason Hanson Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Place Kicker)

Taylor Mehlhaff
(Wisconsin)

Chris Gardocki Award (Nation’s Most Outstanding Punter)

Britton Colquitt
(Tennessee)

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 2-5)

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Arizona State vs. Texas (-2 ½)

This is a scintillating clash. Both teams possess offense. However, Texas is slightly superior.

ABC Scores… Let’s Duel Again

Game shows are formulaic. Winners. Losers. Prize money. Trivia questions. Multiple choice answers. Studio audiences. Canned dramatics. Occasionally, excellent endeavors shatter this mold. However, the majority resemble cookie cutters.

Last week, I viewed ABC’s “Duel.” The program is compelling. The contest is slightly dramatic. The competition is catch phrased. With that stated, Duel channels “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.” The Las Vegas and Trivial Pursuit combination is gripping.

Mike Greenberg is an exemplary host. Given his ESPN background, I had reservations. Yet, Greenberg was clever. Greenberg was sharp. Perfectly, he balanced contestant’s personalities and Duel’s tension. Game shows remain risky. However, Duel is a winner. ABC should showcase another season.

Red Wings Resign Invaluable Asset

On Wednesday, the Detroit Red Wings retained Nicklas Lidstrom. Lidstrom signed a 2-year, $15 million contract. According to General Manager Ken Holland, Lidstrom is flawless. “Nick has been the best defenseman in the world for several years,” Holland said. “He's a great captain and role model who does everything right, both on and off the ice.”

During his career, Lidstrom has amassed 206 goals, 696 assists, and 902 points. This season, Lidstrom has accrued 4 goals, 30 assists, and 34 points. Lidstrom has also garnered five Norris Trophies and one Conn Smythe Trophy.

Lidstrom is an icon. He is also a winner. He has won three Stanley Cups. He has won an Olympic Gold Medal. Lidstrom is consistent, spectacular, and quiet. He is a franchise’s desire. He is also a sports rarity.

NEW RULE (Best of 2007 - #4)

Conservatives must learn math.

This weekend, the Council for National Policy met. The Council’s principal members? Conservative anarchists James Dobson (Focus on the Family), Tony Perkins (Family Research Council), and Richard Viguerie. If Mayor Rudi Giuliani is nominated, conservatives may bolt. They may form a third party. Evidently, Giuliani insults Republican ideals.

Dobson, Perkins, and Viguerie are an insult. They are also stupid. The Presidency requires 270 electoral votes. Alabama, Mississippi, Montana, South Carolina, Utah, and Wyoming do not have this. Arizona, Florida, Iowa, Minnesota, New Mexico, and Ohio are the prize. Unfortunately, they possess common sense. They are not mindless druids.

Conservatives can mock the middle. They can abhor bipartisanship and compromise. However, the middle is coveted. The middle is valued. The middle wins elections.

“Maharaja of the Keyboard”

Oscar Peterson
(1925-2007)

The Daily Smak (Best of 2007)

Friday is World Orgasm Day. Jamie Lynn Spears has celebrated already.

Allegedly, Senator Larry Craig is reconsidering resigning. Evidently, he consulted his family, searched his soul, and polled three random men’s rooms.

An Illinois school will celebrate Christmas, Halloween, and Ramadan. For Halloween, children receive candy. For Christmas, they receive gifts. Ramadan is one month of prayer and fasting. Children will love that.

The Enemy & Our Enemy

Iran has purchased an S-300 air defense system. Their retailer? Russia. Previously, Russia sold them an Tor-M1 air defense missile system. An Iran-Russia alliance? America’s worst nightmare.

Gridiron Compromise: Nation Will Witness History

On Saturday, the New England Patriots (15-0) will oppose the New York Giants (10-5). The NFL Network will televise the contest. CBS and NBC will also. The NFL’s compromise is correct. Cable providers should relent. They should broadcast NFL Network. However, Saturday concerns history. Cable stupidity should not preclude the occasion.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Rocket’s Retort Escalates

Rusty Hardin: “On Roger's behalf, we are investigating the allegations about him contained in the Mitchell Report. To our surprise, we have identified several people who logic dictates the Mitchell team should have talked to but did not. That's troubling. We are asking questions and we encourage the news media to do the same. We are convinced the conclusions in Mitchell's report are wrong and are investigating the findings ourselves.”

Prior Foresight?

On Wednesday, the San Diego Padres signed Mark Prior. Prior inked a one-year contract. This transaction is intriguing. Once, Prior dominated. His fastball assaulted. His curveball exploded. Unfortunately, he sustained injuries. He has not pitched. If Prior recovers, he is an invaluable investment. However, he could burden San Diego’s roster.

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 2-4)

Motor City Bowl
Purdue (-8) vs. Central Michigan
On September 15, Purdue defeated Central Michigan 45-22. On Wednesday, history will reoccur.

NEW RULE (Best of 2007 - #5)

Women are worthless.

On Sunday, Wisconsin Police Officer Tyler Peterson murdered six. Why? He and his ex-girlfriend argued. Women are intoxicating, gorgeous, and unique. They complete men's lives. However, they are not worth murder. Women excoriate men. They humiliate men. Their rational? Fun and self-esteem. Yet, murder is never appropriate. Dating someone else. Achieving greater happiness. Enjoying better sex. These are appropriate responses.

The Daily Smak (Best of 2007)

On Wednesday, Many Ramirez said losing “is not the end of the world.” John Kerry responded “They said that about 2004.”

According to a report, the United States prison system is “a costly and miserable failure.” A costlier and more miserable failure? Freeing every prisoner.

This weekend, tourists spotted Kevin Federline. He was throwing gang signs. There is a gang sign for unemployed?

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Finally! Roger Clemens Speaks

Kevin Everett… Welcome Home

Line of the Morning


Senator Barack Obama (D-IL)

“I'm sure that there will be a lot of negative ads out there. They don't have much to run on, given what's happened over the last seven to eight years. So there's no doubt that there will be negativity.”

Betting the Pass Line (Season: 36-29 Bowls: 2-3)

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Boise State (-10 ½) vs. East Carolina

Last season, Fiesta Bowl, Oklahoma, and a proposal. This season, East Carolina. Good luck Pirates.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 4-1 Season: 38-32)

Browns (-2 ½) at Bengals
This skirmish screams trap. However, the Browns will prevail.

Eagles at Saints (-3)
Saints, the playoffs are achievable. Will you succeed?

Texans at Colts (-7)
On December 24, 2006, the Texans defeated the Colts 27-24. On Sunday, the Colts will score revenge.

Buccaneers (-6) at 49ers
Versus the NFC, the Buccaneers are 8-2. The 49ers are 3-8. Favor the Buccaneers.

Redskins (+6 ½) at Vikings
Rushing. Defense. Inept quarterbacks. Joe Gibbs owns these contests.