Philadelphia Exoneration

Michael Vick has achieved little. He is twenty-nine, a former millionaire, and a convicted federal felon. Vick should have revolutionized. Instead, he became repetitive. Vick befriended losers, discarded opportunity, and flouted authority. His career should have concluded.

On Friday, the Philadelphia Eagles signed Vick. Vick inked a 2-year, $6.8 million contract. “I know I've done some terrible things, made a horrible mistake,” he said. “Now I want to be part of the solution and not the problem. I'm glad that Coach [Andy] Reid and the rest of the organization stepped forward. I'm glad I got the opportunity and the second chance. I won't disappoint.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s reaction was optimistic. “I have said several times in recent weeks that I want Michael to be one of the NFL's success stories as an individual and as a football player,” he said. “I believe he can accomplish both goals with the Eagles organization, which has done an outstanding job in the community and on the field these last 15 years under the direction of owner Jeffrey Lurie. I know the Eagles will provide strong support but, ultimately, Michael's success is up to him and the decisions he makes.”

On July 17,2007, Vick, as well as associates Purnell Peace, Quanis Phillips, and Tony Taylor were charged with competitive dog fighting. On July 26, Vick plead not guilty. On July 27, Taylor plead guilty. On August 17, Peace and Phillips plead guilty. On August 24, Vick acquiesced. He received twenty-three months incarceration. He served eighteen months.

Concerning Vick’s resurrection, Owner Jeffrey Lurie was blunt. “There's no third chances and we know that,” he said. “If it isn't fulfilled the way we expect it to be, then it will be the end.”

During his career, Vick has completed 930 of 1,730 passes for 11,505 yards with 71 touchdowns and 52 interceptions. He has also logged 523 carries for 3,859 yards and 21 touchdowns. In 2006, Vick hit 204 of 388 aerials for 2,474 yards with 20 touchdowns and 13 interceptions.

Lurie considered remorse and repentance. Reid considered rehabilitation and research. Neither applied appropriate reason. Vick did not commit a mistake. He did not endure a learning experience. He did not exercise bad judgment. The Eagles committed a mistake. They will endure a learning experience. Their bad judgment was this transaction.

“My Mom Never Ran for Office and She Changed the World”

Eunice Kennedy Shriver
(1921-2009)

The Guitar Man

Les Paul
(1915-2009)

NEW RULE

Michael Vick must declare benevolence.

If Vick covets absolution, he must remain silent. He must also accept and recruit charitable assignments. Vick may never earn amnesty. With a philanthropic offensive, he could earn authenticity.

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Hey, didn’t you used to be Donte Stallworth?

Concerning Hillary Clinton’s dancing, Bill Clinton was impressed. Hillary Clinton’s response? During your second term, I had several hours available.

Today’s top five or this weekend’s attractions (1) Michael Vick, (2) Rick Pitino, (3) PGA Championship, (4) NFL Preseason, (5) Red Sox at Rangers

Stallworth’s Suspension is Little Punishment

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s justice is predictable and putrid. Athletes dishonor their franchise. They dishonor the NFL. They are suspended for one season. They are reinstated. Apologies or restitution is unnecessary.

On April 1, Donte' Stallworth was charged with DUI manslaughter. He plead guilty. He received thirty days incarceration. On Thursday, Stallworth’s ridiculous reprimands continued. He was suspended for one season. “There is no question that your actions had tragic consequences to an innocent man and his family, and that you have violated both the Substances of Abuse and Personal Conduct Policies,” said Goodell. “In that respect, you are clearly guilty of conduct detrimental to the integrity of and public confidence in the NFL. Your conduct endangered yourself and others, leading to the death of an innocent man. The NFL and NFL players must live with the stain that you have placed on their reputations.”

Stallworth’s response was reflective. “Commissioner Goodell called me this morning,” he said. “Obviously, I am disappointed, but, as I said previously, I accept the Commissioner's decision. Regardless of the length of my suspension, I will carry the burden of Mr. Reyes' death for the rest of my life. I urge NFL fans not to judge NFL players or me based on my tragic lapse in judgment. I am a good person who did a bad thing. I will use the period of my suspension to reflect, fulfill my obligations, and use this experience to make a positive impact on the lives of those who look up to NFL players.”

During his career, Stallworth has amassed 296 receptions, 4,383 yards, and 32 touchdowns. From 2002-2005 (56 games), he tallied 195 receptions, 2,891 yards, and 23 touchdowns. From 2006-2008 (39 games), he has totaled 101 receptions, 1,492 yards, and 9 touchdowns.

In 1998, Leonard Little was charged with DUI manslaughter. He plead guilty. He received ninety days incarceration. He was suspended for eight contests. Goodell’s sentence appears stricter. Unfortunately, Little and Stallworth’s realities will correspond.

Banks Are Weaker, We Are Buoyed

Secretary of Treasury Timothy Geithner: “I don't think the financial system is reverting to past practice, and we won't let that happen. The big banks are running with much less leverage now, much more conservative liquidity cushions, there's been a significant shrinking of their balance sheets, getting rid of bad assets and cleaning up. And the weakest parts of the system don't exist anymore. The consequence of achieving stability is that people can raise money, can raise equity, can borrow more easily at lower rates, that these markets have liquidity again. The fact that the core parts of the U.S. financial system look like they're profitable is overwhelmingly good.”

NEW RULE

PETA must select their skirmishes.

“I’m Hatin It” will not succeed. McDonalds is an international icon. They have served billions and billions. Their sign confirms this. PETA may intimidate anonymous companies. McDonalds will ignore them.

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Hey, didn’t you used to be high school?

According to the National Enquirer, former Senator John Edwards has another child. Very important question… Which America will she prefer?

Today’s top five or preseason storylines (1) Michael Vick, (2) Minnesota Vikings, (3) Tom Brady, (4) Denver Broncos, (5) Matt Cassel

Star of Drop Out

On Wednesday, San Diego High School forward Jeremy Tyler renounced his prep eligibility. Instead, he chose Israeli professional basketball. “It's a huge step for him and his family and the things he's about to get into,” said Agent B.J. Armstrong. “The basketball will be the easiest part in this equation. Now he's got to get things adjusted off the court to what a professional does, how he lives. It'll be a challenge. The rest will take care of itself.”

Since the 1995 NBA Draft, I have feared this announcement. A juvenile craves money and prominence. He exploits the system. He renounces his senior season. NBA Commissioner David Stern and NCAA President Myles Brand must act. This scenario is abhorrent.

Handicapping the PGA Championship

Tiger Woods: 1.5-1
Padraig Harrington: 8-1
Angel Cabrera: 15-1
Sergio Garcia: 20-1
Phil Mickelson: 22-1
Vijay Singh: 25-1
Zach Johnson: 28-1
Retief Goosen: 35-1
Ernie Els: 38-1
Stuart Cink: 40-1

NEW RULE

Involvement is an obligation.

If you presume abuse, contact an expert. If you suspect neglect, conduct an intervention. In America, children perish via ignorance. Investigations are a necessity. Do not consider anyone’s emotions. Consider correctness and silence’s consequences.

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Hey, didn’t you used to be Rick Pitino?

In Illinois, Clifton Williams received six months incarceration. His crime? He yawned. NBC’s viewers should avoid this judge.

Today’s top five or Michael Vick’s possibilities (1) Seattle Seahawks, (2) Oakland Raiders, (3) Carolina Panthers, (4) St. Louis Rams, (5) Jacksonville Jaguars

President Obama Scuttles “Socialized Medicine”

President Obama: “This is not about putting the government in charge of your health insurance. I don't believe anyone should be in charge of your health insurance decisions except you and your doctor. I don't think government bureaucrats should be meddling but I don't think insurance company bureaucrats should be meddling. Your health insurance will be there for you when it counts, not just when you're paying premiums.”

Dungy Pronounces, Pleads Vick’s Future

Tony Dungy: “Michael bounced teams off me -- 'hey, these people called, what do you think? I think something's gonna happen this week. A lot of people then began to call me. And I got calls from a lot of coaches, and most of the coaches said, 'Hey, tell me about it, if I wanted to sign this guy, I would want to look in his eyes and find out if anything's different -- give me that feel.”

“And I did I recommend [Vick] to maybe a dozen guys. I think he has changed as a person. I think he recognizes what he did and the lifestyle that he had wasn't conducive to not only playing well, but it was detrimental to a lot of young people. I think he had about 18 months to think about that. From a personal standpoint I think the thing he needs is to get with a football family. And the quicker he can do that, the better.”

“That's why I'm hoping it works that somebody signs him, gets him involved in their program, gets their good players, good people around him, gets their support staff around him. That, to me, is gonna be the most beneficial thing to him, to get somewhere and say 'This is my group now that I'm depending on and I know they're depending on me.”

Pay For Viewers

On October 3, Kelly Pavlik will oppose Paul Williams. This pairing is the depreciated versus the irrelevant.

NEW RULE

Animals spawn litters.

Due to unemployment, Lavonne Drummond has priced her child’s name. The child will be her seventh. The purchase price is $25,000. Drummond could consider abstinence, condoms, or tubal ligation.

Children are not kittens. They are not puppies. They cost money. Child litters are not blessings. Child litters are not miracles. Child litters are irresponsible.

The Daily Smak

Very important question… Secretary of State is who?

On Monday, Hillary Clinton said, “My husband is not Secretary of State.” Kim Jong Il’s response? Who retrieved those prisoners?

Today’s top five or NFL’s worst (1) Michael Vick, (2) Donte Stallworth, (3) Plaxico Burress, (4) Chris Henry, (5) Pacman Jones

Statistical Reality: Americans Are Stupid

NEW RULE

Chad Johnson must shut up.

Chad Johnson should not blog. He should not podcast. He should not social network. He should not twitter. He should not webcast. Carson Palmer needs a wide receiver. He does not need wired reporter.

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Hey, weren’t you Senator Mel Martinez?

On Thursday afternoon, the Senate passed Cash for Clunkers. On Thursday evening, the Minnesota Vikings exchanged Sage Rosenfels.

Today’s top five or Republicans’ ridiculous retirements (1) Senator Judd Gregg, (2) Senator Kit Bond, (3) Senator Mel Martinez, (4) Senator Jim Bunning, (5) Senator Sam Brownback