Happy Thanksgiving

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 31-28)

Cardinals at Eagles (-3)
Last week, the Ravens defeated the Eagles 36-7. Donovan McNabb was replaced. On Thanksgiving, he will respond.

Giants (-3) at Redskins
Brandon Jacobs amasses one hundred yards. Eli Manning tosses three touchdowns. The Giants obliterate the Redskins.

Saints (+3 ½) at Buccaneers
In week one, the Saints defeated the Buccaneers 24-20. In week thirteen, they mirror this result.

Broncos at Jets (-7 ½)
Jay Cutler versus Brett Favre? Favor the Jets.

Steelers at Patriots (-1)
Versus the Steelers, the Patriots have won three consecutive contests. On Sunday, four is a fata compli.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 2-3 Season: 37-28)

West Virginia (-3 ½) at Pittsburgh
On Friday, West Virginia scores their second consecutive Big East Conference championship.

Georgia Tech at Georgia (-8 ½)
In conclusion, Georgia’s strategy is simple. Knowshon Moreno. Defense. The Bulldogs obliterate the Yellow Jackets.

Florida at Florida State (+16)
Offensive excellence versus Defensive tenacity. A defensive exhibition. Via a minimal margin, Florida will win.

Oregon (+3) at Oregon State
In 2007, Oregon State defeated Oregon 38-31. In 2008, the Ducks will garner revenge.

Oklahoma at Oklahoma State (+7)
Versus Oklahoma State, Oklahoma has won five consecutive contests. On Saturday, their streak concludes.

NEW RULE

Life is opportunity.

On Sunday, Joseph Pallipurath murdered Reshma James. In California, Pallipurath commenced. In New Jersey, he committed his crime. Why? Why regress our culture? Why sacrifice your existence?

Life is capricious, erratic, impulsive, random, and volatile. Therefore, life does not deserve annual attention. One should not carp. One should not sulk. Certainly, one should not plot murder. Life affords incalculable chances. Exaggerating one is asinine.

No regrets is a cliché. However, clichés are invaluable. Depression, suicide, or violence are unforgivable.

Worth A Read

The Pioneer Woman Cooks

Featuring pictures and recipes.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be John Daly?

In Venezuela, President Hugo Chavez covets continual reelection. This is ironic. President Bush covets an immediate ejection.

Today’s top five or Thanksgiving’s attractions (1) Oklahoma at Oklahoma State, (2) Florida at Florida State, (3) Oregon at Oregon State, (4) Georgia Tech at Georgia, (5) West Virginia at Pittsburgh

Obama’s March, Paulson’s Modifications Continue

According to Secretary of Treasury Henry Paulson, the Federal Reserve will provide credit protection. They will purchase non-mortgage assets. Meanwhile, President-Elect Obama announced Peter Orszag (Management and Budget Office Director).

Concerning the former, I remain nervous. Concerning the latter, I remain optimistic.

Secretary of Treasury Henry Paulson Complete Text

President-Elect Obama Complete Text

Citi: We Are & Feel Your Pain

Citi CEO Vikram Pandit: “What went wrong is we had tremendous concentration in the sense we put a lot of our money to work against U.S. real estate. We got here by lending money, and putting money to work in the U.S. real estate market, in a size that was probably larger than what we ought to have done on a diversification basis. I can completely understand how people on Main Street, people who are not close to this industry, would be furious at what's happened.”

Kansas State Hires Inferior Setback

Interim solutions never succeed. They are emotional. They are rapid. They never consider ramifications. They only placate individuals. Interim solutions are not authentic. They are simply available.

On November 5, Kansas State fired Coach Ron Prince. On Monday, former Kansas State Coach Bill Snyder supplanted him. “The Kansas State family is in flux right now,” said Snyder. “I want to be able to help. I want to be able to soothe the waters. I've learned some lessons and there are some things I will do to encompass my family. My deal is my family and this university. Yeah, I think I can manipulate the time in such a way I can do both.”

In his initial incarnation, Snyder logged a 136-68-1 ledger. He garnered one Big Twelve Conference championship. He scored four Big Twelve North Division titles. He secured eleven bowl appearances (6-5). Unfortunately, Snyder concluded with consecutive losing campaigns.

Kansas State’s decision is ridiculous. Snyder is sixty-five years old. If he were capable, he would have never retired.

Common Criminal Visits Virginia

In Virginia, Michael Vick plead guilty. As previously stated, Vick’s actions were reprehensible. They embarrassed his franchise. They embarrassed the NFL. They obliterated millions of fans. Thankfully, Vick’s career has concluded.

Allow Me to Congratulate Myself

George Mitchell: “The impression I get is that it's had a significant impact of reducing usage, although that still remains very difficult to measure with any complete precision. Obviously as a human being, I regret and don't take pleasure in someone else's misfortune, whether I have any relationship to it or not. What we did was to try to meet the obligation which we'd undertaken, and we did so. Each player involved made his decision on how to respond.”

“I would be very doubtful that it [Major League Baseball] is completely clean in the sense nobody is using. You don't know whether this is a temporary response because of the attention it's gotten and whether over time it will begin to resume an increase. I think that's unlikely given the aggressive nature of the response, but it's something you have to be continuously concerned about. I think it's [The Mitchell Report] gone a long way toward turning the page on this issue and permitting baseball to move forward.”

Alexander Abandoned Again

On Tuesday, the Washington Redskins released Shaun Alexander. In four contests, Alexander accrued only 11 carries and 24 yards. He was not inadequate. He was never afforded an opportunity.

Marriage, Mistrust Ignite Hills

Maturity is acquired. Maturity is not assumed. Age, experience, gender, monetary status, and social status are irrelevant. Eleven-year-olds can amaze and inspire. Twenty-four year olds can prattle, preen, and provoke.

On Monday, rumors reverberated. Justin and Lauren? Audrina confronted Lauren. They argued. They swapped epithets. Audrina remained suspicious. Lauren cried and screamed. I could register my opinion. However, Lauren’s rumor response was perfect. “Justin disgusts me,” she said.

Amidst the innuendos, Heidi rejoined SBE. She occupied a cubicle. Someone else occupied her former office. Is Heidi brain dead? Her humiliation should have been the conclusion. Unfortunately, Heidi married Spencer.

Brendan Foster: Thanksgiving’s Personification

John Daly… Described & Denounced

Stuart Appleby: “John Daly is unique. As players, we only wish that he put a little bit more time into his game and less time into ruining his personal life. He would be a draw card, not just a freak card, because he's so gifted it's a joke. That has got to the stage now where that's who John Daly is. His game hasn't been the level that he wants it. But I don't think John is here because of his world ranking. He's a walking train wreck, and unfortunately people turn their heads to watch a train wreck.”

Heidi Infers Remorse, Lauren Invites Ridicule

I have multiple friends. I have numerous acquaintances. Audrina, Brody, Frankie, Heidi, Holly, Justin, Lauren, Lo, Spencer, and Stephanie are renowned. Why are they are always together? Why not expand their cluster?

Last week, Sam Nazarian and Heidi met. Heidi apologized. She groveled. Sam awarded another opportunity. Seriously? Heidi and Spencer drank. Heidi embarrassed Nazarian. She embarrassed Brent Bolthouse. She embarrassed herself. Heidi does not deserve employment. She did not deserve a meeting.

Meanwhile, Holly joined Lauren and Lo. Is Lauren insane? Her compassion is admirable. Her empathy is admirable. Her execution is ridiculous. Holly and her should have scouted apartments. Lauren should not have offered her apartment.

NEW RULE

Ignorance warrants ignorance.

Cleveland Browns Fan: “You are easily the worst GM in the NFL. Chud, Crennel and Tucker should NOT have jobs. How the hell do you play prevent defense the entire game? How do you NOT use Jerome Harrison more? Why the hell would you throw the ball with 6 minutes left? This is officially a regime that is worse than Butch Davis'. By the way, just like last week - this email was written while the Browns still had the lead.”

General Manager Phil Savage: “Go root for Buffalo - Fuck you.”

Obviously, Savage’s expletive was injudicious. However, I do not care.

Fans may criticize. Fans may state their opinions. Fans may not espouse insanity or madness. Savage’s response was appropriate. He is an official. The fan is drunk. Football knowledge trumps intoxicated pseudo-knowledge.

Worth A Read

The Sports Hernia Blog

Photos, video, and satire.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Hannity & Colmes?

On Monday, President Bush pardoned fourteen. Apparently, my application was not received.

Today’s top five or worst celebrity marriages (1) Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, (2) Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, (3) Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, (4) Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, (5) Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray

Obama’s Opening Salvo Bold, Brilliant

Initial advancements are imperative. They create character. They establish intent. They mold priorities. They refine viewpoints. Initial advancements accentuate consequences. They commence successes.

On Monday, President-Elect Obama announced his economic specialists. They include Timothy Geithner (Secretary of Treasury), Lawrence Summers (National Economic Council Director), Christina Romer (Economic Advisors Council Chairwoman), and Melody Barnes (Domestic Policy Council Director).

According to President-Elect Obama, circumstances are miserable. Yet, recovery is probable. “With our economy in distress, we cannot hesitate or delay,” he said. “Our families cannot afford to keep on waiting and hoping for a solution. They cannot afford to watch another month of unpaid bills pile up, another semester of tuition slip out of reach, another month where instead of saving for retirement, they're dipping into their savings just to get by.”

“Despite all of this, I am hopeful about the future,” he continued. “I have full confidence in the wisdom and ingenuity of my economic team -- and in the hard work, courage and sacrifice of the American people. And most of all, I believe deeply in the resilient spirit of this nation. I know we can work our way out of this crisis because we've done it before. And I know we will succeed once again if we put aside partisanship and politics and work together, and that is exactly what I intend to do as President.”

On January 20, 2009, President-Elect Obama will celebrate. On January 21, he will confront immense crises. Clearly, his advisors comprehend the economic minutia. He craves the challenge.

President-Elect Obama Complete Text

Citi, GM Reinvent; President-Elect Resets, Wall Street Revels

On Monday, the federal government rescued Citi. General Motors and Tiger Woods concluded their relationship. Despite this, the Dow Jones Industrial Average soared 396.97 points.

Concerning the former, both decisions are correct. Citi’s collapse would be immeasurable. Automobile advertising is not the issue. Concerning the latter, investor’s currency is confidence. As President-Elect Obama proceeds, they will relax.

GAME BALLS (NFL Edition)

Drew Brees (QB – Saints): 20/26, 323 yards, 4 td
(Win: 51-29 vs. Packers)

Matt Cassel (QB – Patriots): 30/43, 415 yards, 3 td
(Win: 48-28 at Dolphins)

Justin Fargas (RB – Raiders): 24 carries, 107 yards
(Win: 31-10 at Broncos)

Randy Moss (WR – Patriots): 8 receptions, 125 yards, 3 td
(Win: 48-28 at Dolphins)

Terrell Owens (WR – Cowboys): 7 receptions, 213 yards, 1 td
(Win: 35-22 vs. 49ers)

Michael Turner (RB – Falcons): 24 carries, 117 yards, 4 td
(Win: 45-28 vs. Panthers)

GAME BALLS (College Football Edition)

Tarrion Adams (RB – Tulsa): 33 carries, 323 yards, 1 td
(Win: 56-7 vs. Tulane)

Jahvid Best (RB – California): 19 carries, 201 yards, 2 td
(Win: 37-16 vs. Stanford)

Sam Bradford (QB – Oklahoma): 14/19, 304 yards, 4 td
(Win: 65-21 vs. Texas Tech)

Daryll Clark (QB – Penn State): 16/26, 341 yards, 4 td
(Win: 49-18 vs. Michigan State)

Adam DiMichele (QB – Temple): 21/37, 370 yards, 6 td
(Win: 55-52 vs. Eastern Michigan)

Jonathan Dwyer (RB – Georgia Tech): 10 carries, 128 yards, 2 td
(Win: 41-23 vs. Miami-Florida)

DuJuan Harris (RB – Troy): 28 carries, 234 yards, 2 td
(Win: 48-3 vs. Louisiana-Lafayette)

Brian Johnson (QB – Utah): 30/36, 303 yards, 4 td
(Win: 48-24 vs. BYU)

Case Keenum (QB – Houston): 41/51, 480 yards, 3 td
(Win: 42-37 vs. UTEP)

Curtis Painter (QB – Purdue): 38/54, 448 yards, 5 td
(Win: 62-10 vs. Indiana)

Tony Pike (QB – Cincinnati): 26/32, 309 yards, 3 td
(Win: 28-21 vs. Pittsburgh)

Morgan Williams (RB – Toledo): 28 carries, 330 yards, 3 td
(Win: 42-14 vs. Miami-Ohio)

A Final Victory

On Monday, the Holy Land Foundation For Relief and Development was convicted of terrorism support. In the War on Terror, President Bush has been imperfect. With that stated, his triumphs should be recognized.

Illusion Concluded: Wizards Jettison Jordan

On Monday, the Washington Wizards fired Coach Eddie Jordan. During his tenure, Jordan logged a 197-224 ledger. Upon his firing, the Wizards stood 1-10.

Since 2004-2005, the Wizards have scored four playoff appearances. They have won one playoff series. They have won only eight playoff contests. Theoretically, the Wizards possess immense potential. Unfortunately, they are a mirage.

NEW RULE

Traditions trump political correctness.

On Saturday, Illinois and Northwestern abolished the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk. Why? Why must we placate the minimal voices? Why not silence them? Emblems, monikers, and trophies are not offensive. They are not rude. They are not shameful. They are simply emblems, monikers, and trophies

Worth A Read

Suburban Guerilla

Former reporter observes corporate media.

The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Oklahoma City Thunder Coach?

According to APEC, the economic crisis will consume eighteen months. Today, President-Elect Obama issued this statement: “I will assume office January 20, 2011.”

On a mosque, Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh spent $60 million. Apparently, John McCain was their decorator.

BCS: Longhorns, Sooners Chase Crimson Tide

1. Alabama (11-0)
2. Texas (10-1)
3. Oklahoma (10-1)
4. Florida (10-1)
5. USC (8-1)
6. Utah (12-0)
7. Texas Tech (10-1)
8. Penn State (11-1)
9. Boise State (11-0)
10. Ohio State (10-2)

Finished In Philadelphia?

The Big Five

For reasons good and bad… they were the news.

The Hot Five

A quintet of sizzling conversation starters.

Betting the Pass Line (Last Week: 3-2 Season: 29-25)

Jets (+5 ½) at Titans
Simply stated, Brett Favre wins these contests.

Patriots (Even) at Dolphins
In week three, the Dolphins stunned the Patriots 38-13. In week twelve, the Patriots garner revenge.

Eagles (+1) at Ravens
The Ravens are 6-4. The Eagles are 5-4-1. Preseason, the Eagles expectations were higher.

Panthers (+1) at Falcons
This season, the Falcons’ victories are 18-43. Favor the Panthers.

Giants at Cardinals (+3)
On Sunday, Kurt Warner amasses three hundred yards. He tosses three touchdowns. The Cardinals cruise.

Line of the Morning

Austan Goolsbee

“I don't know what the number is going to be [economic resuscitation’s total value], but it's going to be a big number. It has to be. The point is to, kind of, get people back on track and startle the thing into submission.”