Championship Selections

An Ignoramus in Kansas

An extremist, with no political support, and no chance to win.

God… Save Sam Brownback!

They’re Mean… You’re Watching

This afternoon, MSNBC spent ten minutes discussing American Idol. The conversation included analysis of this season’s tone and a theory that several of the horrid may not be amateurs. Ultimately, both the anchor and media analyst concurred this season is “very mean.”

No one cares. Simon is mean. Are Paula and Randy attempting to mimic his vitriol? They cannot. They would have to be coherent first. Paula is a marshmallow, who practically delivers her opinion through tears. Randy has a three word vocabulary. Simon, Paula, and Randy held these traits in season one. Their personalities remain unchanged.

People are watching. People will watch. Despite never producing a “pop idol” (sans Kelly Clarkson, who only prospered after splitting with Nineteen Management), the show has become an institution. Eventually, their unaltered formula will stagnate viewership. However, their next five seasons are secure.

Personally, I believe the judges are irrelevant. Following the Hollywood stage, America is the decider. Unfortunately, America heeds their mindless prattle. If the judges were removed, I believe we would also dismiss the concept of Idol as a singing competition. In America, being a pop idol has nothing to do with singing.

What Might Have Been

Jeff Samardzija was a potential first round NFL draft pick. He is also a minor league pitcher with a devastating fastball. This decision between seventeen, network broadcast Sundays and one hundred games in obscure cities has been previously pondered. Following his deliberations, Samardzija shed four years for ten million dollars.

Each season, there are thirty-two opening round NFL selections and 1,502 Major League Baseball choices. Not every NFL selection is a superstar. However, hundreds have enjoyed notable and productive careers. The chance of superstardom in baseball is vastly more remote. Thousands of picks toil in anonymity without a Major League paycheck. Has Jeff met Drew Henson?

Samardzija was a wide receiver. This categorized his decision as final. The Dallas Cowboys waited for Henson. The New York Yankees may have waited for John Elway. However, speed disappears with time. Twenty-seven is middle-aged. Thirty-two is old. Thirty-six is retired.

During his Notre Dame career, Samardzija snared 179 receptions for 2,593 yards and 27 touchdowns. The number of his selection was debatable. However, the talent showcased during his junior and senior seasons was undeniable. Samardzija has discarded his potential for the life of thousands. Decision made.

He may not be Henson. Would he have ever been Jerry Rice? Unfortunately, we will never know. Samardzija spent two seasons subject to the will of an offensive genius. Now, he will spend his next seasons in a game where history is all. The transaction is complete. The choice was his. The result is subject to interpretation.

GoDaddy.com Sponsors Danica Patrick

Imagine the possibilities…

Cam Cannot Win

During five miserable seasons with Indiana, Cam Cameron recorded a 13-31ledger. Why did he receive an NFL coaching interview? Why was he hired as a coordinator? How is he the Miami Dolphins coach?

San Diego’s offense featured Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Antonio Gates. If Cameron had failed with this collection of talent, we would have a discussion. Cameron wasted four years of Antwaan Randle-El. He has not proven he can win.

Nick Saban callously knifed Miami. Obviously, the Dolphins are vulnerable and seeking to dress their wounds. However, their desire became desperation. The Dolphins are an historic franchise. They deserve a winner. Not someone eighteen games below break-even.

Worth A Read

Squeeze OC

Obsessing Completely over television’s paradise. Tips, trends, talk… and the obligatory “Wahoo Fish Taco” sign.

Mel: Republican Favorite Mistake

Upon his election, Senator Mel Martinez pledged “What I am going to do over the next two years is assist our Party in a renewal of the principles that have made us great: lower taxes, limited government, individual responsibility, freedom here and abroad, and the power of faith.”

A lapdog Bush appointee, Martinez will serve as occasional Republican National Committee chairman. He will espouse support for No Child Left Behind, extending the tax cuts, and the President’s war strategy. Three areas which keyed Republican defeat. Was no one better available?

This is not 1988, when another President Bush appointed confidant Lee Atwater as chairman. Atwater knew how to win elections. He knew how to acquire support. He was a strategic genius. Martinez is a joke. Appointing Martinez was an admission that we eyed the room, no one volunteered, so we randomly chose him. His appointment is an insult to the institution.

Following Ken Mehlman’s apathetic leadership, Republicans needed to appoint a winner. They needed to appoint someone who will modernize and expand their party. Instead, they chose a face from the Bush friend album.

Taiwan: Governing, One Punch At A Time

From Golden Bust to Domer Coach

Ron Powlus was destined for greatness. He was a Parade All-American, an offensive epic, and one of the most prized recruits in the history of high school football.

During his Notre Dame career, he started forty-four contests. He completed 558 of 969 passes for 7,602 yards with 52 touchdowns. Despite owning twenty career records, reality never eqalued hype. Powlus was visciously criticized as a monumental bust.

On Thursday, Powlus became Notre Dame’s quarterback coach.

Another Case of Government Limited

California anti-spanking law?

In lieu of solving problems, officials debate perceived problem. (See flag burning)

Stop trying to look busy.

Actually GET BUSY!

Bong Boy

He is not a role model. His entanglement in a herpes lawsuit and flipping off of a fan assured this. With that stated, Michael Vick is the highest profile quarterback in the National Football League. He is flashier than Tom Brady, more exciting than Peyton Manning, and more productive than Rex Grossman.

On Thursday, Vick embarrassed himself, his team, and his league. He accomplished this by acting with the intentions of a criminal and the maturity of the average thirteen-year-old.

Vick must grow up. He is not in junior high school. His actions were pathetic and undertaken with all the care of someone hiding porn from his parents. When I heard this story, I was annoyed. As I write this, I am angry. I am angry because Vick acted as someone who simply does not care.

I understand the marijuana angle. Vick is an athlete. He believes he is immune from the law and illegal drugs are cool. Fine. This is not unique. I wish we expected more of our athletes. I wish they were pillars of the community. Yet, they are not. Therefore, the substance found in Vick’s water bottle was stupid, yet not surprising.

What is surprising and more frustrating is that Vick cannot afford this. Following a disappointing season, the firing of one coach, and the hiring of another, Vick should be avoiding the spotlight. Yet, here he was, allowing his actions to mirror his play. I would ask when will he learn…I think that answer is obvious.

Worth A Read

Katie Favazza's Elocutio.

Short shots on politics. Conservative philosophy with college girl attitude.

Marty Bull

The San Diego Chargers are retaining Marty Schottenheimer. Why wouldn’t they? Who thought he should be fired? Who thought firing him should be discussed? Why believed life without Schottenheimer was an option?

Prior to Schottenheimer’s arrival, the Chargers record was 23-57. During his five years, the Chargers ledger reads 47-35. Schottenheimer has logged two playoff appearances. He has overseen the drafting of Phillip Rivers and Shawne Merriman. Yes, Schottenheimer is sans a Super Bowl ring.

However, ask yourself… should a franchise that has never won fire a winner?

Adjusting For the People

She refuses to label her war vote a mistake. However, she has criticized “war escalation.” Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is simultaneously cuddling with the anti-war left and seeking to mollify both Democratic hawks and those who believe that a woman lacks an Oval Office backbone. Her attempt is the most impressive straddling in political history. I am shocked her groins are in tact.

Senator Clinton cannot afford to alienate the Daily Kos Democrats, the John Murtha Democrats, or the Joe Lieberman Democrats. So she has chosen not to alienate. Instead, she has walked, foot to foot, down the middle. She has obfuscated and muddled, until her position is confusing and unrecognizable.

Following the September eleventh tragedy, multiple worldwide attacks, and two wars, defense is the national issue. As such, there are hundreds to please. There are those who oppose war period, those who oppose war except in dire circumstances, those who do not care, those who do care yet do not pay attention, those who only pay attention in voting years, those who welcome war in dire circumstances, and those who wish to nuke anyone without considering the circumstances.

Clearly, Senator Clinton is attempting to please all of them at once.

Last of the Champions

Last night, ESPN interviewed Pete Sampras during their coverage of the Australian Open. Despite Sampras speaking at three a.m., his answers were crisp. His opinions were concise and spoken with the precision of his game. As he discussed his career and the state of tennis, I was intrigued by two of his observations.

While most would resent Roger Federer’s assault on their records, Sampras was magnanimous. He respectfully complimented Federer, as the legend he is becoming. However, he also noted the obvious. Whereas Sampras contested Andre Agassi, Jim Courier, and Michael Chang, Federer is sans a competitive lot. While Sampras was the greatest in a golden era, Federer is a luminary amidst the dull.

The absence of a Federer rival has been discussed. While this deficiency does not retract the grand slams he has garnered, the lack does diminish the overall value of his greatness. Sampras defeated three winners, three men who rightfully stand amidst the best. Federer has not, nor is he likely facing a challenge of this magnitude.

Both Sampras and Federer are Hall of Famers. Each is the living personification of the word prodigy. With that stated, Federer’s competition will never rival Sampras’. This is why Federer’s legacy will never rival the man on the phone.

From Lindsay to Rehab

From Parent Trap star to Hillary Duff’s rival. From supporting teenager to leading vixen. From curvaceous kitten to anorexic waif. From acting her characters to singing her drama. From All-American beauty to intoxicated train wreck.

Will Lindsay Lohan recover?

Stop Being Jackasses!

She wanted to win for her kids. She entered an absurd contest, with a ridiculous name, she consumed o much water, and she died. Jennifer Strange was twenty-eight years old.

The contest was "Hold your Wee for a Wii." The disc jockeys were informed of the risks of excessive water consumption. They flippantly dismissed them. Their attitude and this contest were symptomatic of a radio culture, which passes ignorance and immaturity as entertainment.

Commercial radio is fading. Satellite radio and twenty-four hour television have supplanted this once proud medium. However, this does not allow them to disgrace or dishonor themselves. The acts of these dj’s and their brethren are petulant, pathetic, and juvenile. They make me sick and worse, they have killed have someone.

Commercial radio is fading in profitability. However, their descent into adolescence is worse.

It’s North Dakota!

North Dakota is anti-coupling. Legally.

Amidst their laws, the state features a prohibition against men and women cohabitating. Said statute calls the arrangement a sex crime. Cohabitation is categorized amongst adultery, incest, and indecent exposure.

As ridiculous as the law is, the arguments are simply asinine. Supporting the law, North Dakota Family Alliance spokesman Tom Frier stated, “"If we look at the research, social science evidence suggests that living together is not a good way to prepare for marriage, or to avoid divorce. Cohabitating is not positive for the family, and poses a special risk for women and children.”

Opposing the law, State Senator Tracy Potter said, “If we mean to enforce this law, we'll need a $10 billion prison. We really don't want to enforce the law, and if we don't mean to enforce it, it's an insult to law enforcement to keep it on the books.”

Potter also quoted Mark Twain. "Mark Twain expressed a simple view of people's personal relationships with government ... that I think government should adopt. That is, I don't care what you do, as long as you don't scare the horses.”

I cannot say, only in North Dakota. Seven states have this statute. What I will say… This is North Dakota… A state where no one lives, because it is to cold and they don’t have a major sports franchise.

Oh, For Scripted Drama

You have the best show on television. Your fighting could ruin this.

On behalf of America, I implore you, SHUT UP!

Worst Campaign Commercial Ever

MasterCard’s “priceless” with an INXS video… A horrific idea.

From Immortal to Irrelevant

Australian Open, two in the morning. This is an hour reserved for matches and players normally unwatched. Thus, I am stunned to observe Serena Williams contesting her first round match at this irrelevant hour.

Four years ago, there was no star brighter than Williams. She won Wimbledon. She won the United States Open. She won the French Open and this Australian Open. She was a fashion magnate with primetime television potential. Together, her and sister Venus, dominated women’s tennis in as no pair ever had.

However, injuries and overconfidence concluded her domination. Pundits questioned her dedication. Players dominated her ailing game. From 1999-2003, Williams won six grand slam championships, including four straight. From 2004-2006, she has garnered only one.

Williams’ career may recover. She is only twenty-five years old. For now, she is playing at an hour when few are awake. She has us asking, has anyone become more irrelevant quicker?

The Dumbest Woman In America

This commentary is based completely on possible future occurrences.

Basing your opinion on said uncompleted acts is dangerous because I could be completely misreading the landscape, speaking without cause, and harming any fan of the person I, momentarily, will be verbally assaulting. However, I am profoundly confidant this case, is the exception to speaking preemptively.

Last evening on the Hills, Spencer shared a romantic dinner and roll in the sack with Heidi. During said dinner, he and Heidi repeatedly spoke ill of her former friend, Audrina. Of course, Heidi ignored rule one of arrogant male behavior. If arrogant male is without prompting insulting your ex-friend, chances are he is hooking up with her. Spencer shared ice cream with Audrina the next afternoon. They then attended the Area Club opening where Heidi was working.

Audrina is not remotely innocent. She should have not spoken to him upon realizing the situation. However, scenes from future episodes, absolve her for the moment. In coming weeks, Heidi not only reconnects with Spencer, she continues treating Audrina badly, and also insults and ditches her best friend for that wannabe weasel.

It may be acceptable to be angry with Audrina. Fine, I will allow Heidi that. However, forgiving a guy, hooking up with a guy, acting rudely toward your best friend for a guy, who so egregiously and arrogantly disrespected you before your friends and colleagues, this I will not allow. Choosing a cad, one who I feel is odd looking, over the people who have seen you through your worst moments is, in a word, reprehensible.

At this point in the commentary, I am compelled to paraphrase SNL’s Dan Akroyd in asking, Heidi, you ignorant slut, what were you thinking? After the way he treated you, certain friends may have looked you in the eye and reassured you by saying that you were to good for Spencer. The truth is, given what I have seen, Lauren and Audrina, are too good for you.

Barak Obama Is Running…

…down the street to snag a cappuccino.

As many of you know, over the last few months I have been thinking hard about my plans for 2008. Running for the presidency is a profound decision - a decision no one should make on the basis of media hype or personal ambition alone - and so before I committed myself and my family to this race, I wanted to be sure that this was right for us and, more importantly, right for the country.

I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago. But as I've spoken to many of you in my travels across the states these past months; as I've read your emails and read your letters; I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics.

So I've spent some time thinking about how I could best advance the cause of change and progress that we so desperately need.

The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place. Our economy is changing rapidly, and that means profound changes for working people. Many of you have shared with me your stories about skyrocketing health care bills, the pensions you've lost and your struggles to pay for college for your kids. Our continued dependence on oil has put our security and our very planet at risk. And we're still mired in a tragic and costly war that should have never been waged.

But challenging as they are, it's not the magnitude of our problems that concerns me the most. It's the smallness of our politics. America's faced big problems before. But today, our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, common sense way. Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions.

And that's what we have to change first.

We have to change our politics, and come together around our common interests and concerns as Americans.

This won't happen by itself. A change in our politics can only come from you; from people across our country who believe there's a better way and are willing to work for it.

Years ago, as a community organizer in Chicago, I learned that meaningful change always begins at the grassroots, and that engaged citizens working together can accomplish extraordinary things.

So even in the midst of the enormous challenges we face today, I have great faith and hope about the future - because I believe in you.

And that's why I wanted to tell you first that I'll be filing papers today to create a presidential exploratory committee. For the next several weeks, I am going to talk with people from around the country, listening and learning more about the challenges we face as a nation, the opportunities that lie before us, and the role that a presidential campaign might play in bringing our country together. And on February 10th, at the end of these decisions and in my home state of Illinois, I'll share my plans with my friends, neighbors and fellow Americans.

In the meantime, I want to thank all of you for your time, your suggestions, your encouragement and your prayers. And I look forward to continuing our conversation in the weeks and months to come.

Superstar Loss

Chris Webber is released and he immediately signs with his hometown team, the Detroit Pistons. Feel good story, right? If I’m Piston fan, I don’t want him.

This is a player, privileged enough to play amidst one of the most stellar recruiting classes in NCAA history… and he won nothing. In Washington, he teamed with Michigan chum Juwan Howard… and won nothing. In Sacramento, he made himself the story, only to resign. He led his team to home court and then to consecutive conference final losses.

He spent his last three seasons with Allen Iverson, arguably the second best guard in the history of the NBA…and still Webber won nothing. Now, teamed with Richard Hamilton, Chauncey Billups, and Rasheed Wallace, one would assume Webber is the golden key to another Detroit title. Yet, if I am Pistons fan, I see Webber for what he is… a golden boy who has never quite shone.

One quick note from Monday night’s NBA… if a former Shaq teammate bests a current Shaq teammate and it’s not on Christmas Day… Did Kobe and the Lakers actually win?

Gimmick Becomes Great

On a friend’s advice, who came across this show while seeking advice for his fantasy team on another blog, I invested Sunday night in the “FDH Lounge,” which aired as a combination internet radio-television show on website Sportstalkcleveland.com.

Never having heard of the site, the show, or even the site this show was found on, I set my television for Desperate Housewives. I anticipated that I might have to eject prematurely from this show. I am elated to say this option was not exercised.
While the show echoed the Miller Lite “Men of the Square Table” spots (which it was simply a matter of time before that gimmick was thieved), the panel featured a woman and topics that appealed to sports and non-sports fans alike. From the obligatory, guys discussing hot women and predictions, to the original, an in-depth discussion of John McCain’s merits and a stunning defense of Paris Hilton, the show provoked my thoughts and hit the nerves of each and every host. Aside from their foray into Ohio State’s championship game loss, which I am assuming very few people care about outside of Columbus, the show held my attention in a manner few have recently.

The cast of characters giving substance to the show’s subject matter equally impressed me. Rick Morris, Raymond Smalley, Chris Galloway, and Nathan Noy, all of whom I assume are non-professionals, threw barbs and traded observations in a manner funnier than the hosts of ESPN. There were no awkward silences. It was reminiscent of the banter that flew in the sharply written heyday of Cheers.

What may be best is the show is not scheduled again until January 28. This format, though fresh and funny, could easily be overdone and deadened. With their spacing of shows around wrestling pay-per-views, lame as that concept seems, the show has set itself to both leave the audience wanting more and remain fresh beyond the usual panel show expiration date.

The Hills Has Sizzle

Last night, Lauren Conrad began her anticipated second season in “the Hills.”

Last season, I emphatically panned the pilot as a pre-Heather Locklear version of Melrose Place (which the show had been compared to). The pilot painted LC as an above the rules of her job princess, Heidi and Audrina as ditzy, and Heidi as a shallow cardboard bit player. Following the initial episode, I had no hope for the “Laguna Beach” spin-off.

However, the show and the beautiful cast matured and when season one climaxed with Lauren’s Paris decision, I was genuinely interested. As the second season commenced, I wondered if the beginning would parallel the end or fizzle amidst a summer of Lauren-Jason rumors and one month of commercials teasing the premiere.

The debut exceeded the hype.

After returning stuff to Jason and sharing one last hug, Lauren returned to Teen Vogue, where her boss sniped her on last season’s choice. She even went as far as saying “Lauren will forever be known as the girl who didn’t go to Paris.” Lauren burst into tears in a subsequent scene, but seriously what did she expect? Her boss handed her the opportunity of a lifetime, which she passed over in order to spend the summer with her complete jerk of a boyfriend. Who didn’t see that one biting her in the…

Heidi returned with new boyfriend Spencer and a promotion at Bolt House, where she almost quit last season. Thus far, her promotion and relationship with her coworkers appears to be flourishing. Her relationship with Spencer… not so much. After enjoying a romantic Mexican dinner at Spencer’s favorite restaurant and subsequently bonking him at his apartment, Heidi watched as Spencer arrived at the Area Club opening with Audrina, who the night before, he claimed he was not even friends with. In my experience, friends share ice cream and attend other’s favorite Mexican restaurants, all of which Audrina did with Spencer. I’ll have a separate rip on these two later, needles to say; Audrina and Heidi are not speaking.

I would discuss Heidi’s activities last evening. However, akin to the season one premiere, she had a total of roughly ten spoken words.

Overall, the episode was sharp and established each character’s new challenges. It was a vast improvement over last season and a sharp beginning to this one. If scenes from coming episodes are indicative, “the Hills” should rival its parent show in both viewers and drama.