Garner: Sound, Fury, Fired (Again)

On Monday, the Houston Astros fired Manager Phil Garner and General Manager Tim Purpura. Bench Coach Cecil Cooper and President Tal Smith were designated replacements. According to Owner Drayton McLane, alteration was necessary. "We want to bring some new, fresh ideas," McLane said. "Companies become stagnant sometimes. In the corporate world, when they bring in new CEOs or new top executives, they come in with new ideas, new ways to get things done. That's what I'm excited about."

During his career, Garner has accrued a 998-1007 record. In Houston (495 games), Garner posted a 290-205 record. In Detroit (330 games), Garner logged a 145-185 ledger. In Milwaukee (1,180 games), he tallied a 563-617 mark.

Garner is a mirage. Amidst distraction and inefficiency, his demeanor is inviting. Unfortunately, his acumen is a myth. Garner is a fleeting quench. He provides one shimmering season. Perpetually thirsty franchises, ultimately slurp the sand.