The Dumbest Woman In America

This commentary is based completely on possible future occurrences.

Basing your opinion on said uncompleted acts is dangerous because I could be completely misreading the landscape, speaking without cause, and harming any fan of the person I, momentarily, will be verbally assaulting. However, I am profoundly confidant this case, is the exception to speaking preemptively.

Last evening on the Hills, Spencer shared a romantic dinner and roll in the sack with Heidi. During said dinner, he and Heidi repeatedly spoke ill of her former friend, Audrina. Of course, Heidi ignored rule one of arrogant male behavior. If arrogant male is without prompting insulting your ex-friend, chances are he is hooking up with her. Spencer shared ice cream with Audrina the next afternoon. They then attended the Area Club opening where Heidi was working.

Audrina is not remotely innocent. She should have not spoken to him upon realizing the situation. However, scenes from future episodes, absolve her for the moment. In coming weeks, Heidi not only reconnects with Spencer, she continues treating Audrina badly, and also insults and ditches her best friend for that wannabe weasel.

It may be acceptable to be angry with Audrina. Fine, I will allow Heidi that. However, forgiving a guy, hooking up with a guy, acting rudely toward your best friend for a guy, who so egregiously and arrogantly disrespected you before your friends and colleagues, this I will not allow. Choosing a cad, one who I feel is odd looking, over the people who have seen you through your worst moments is, in a word, reprehensible.

At this point in the commentary, I am compelled to paraphrase SNL’s Dan Akroyd in asking, Heidi, you ignorant slut, what were you thinking? After the way he treated you, certain friends may have looked you in the eye and reassured you by saying that you were to good for Spencer. The truth is, given what I have seen, Lauren and Audrina, are too good for you.