Detroit’s Disaster is New York’s Marvel

The New York Yankees are resolute. Annually, they may succeed. They may succumb. Their victories may vary. Their philosophy never will. When improvement is required, General Manager Brian Cashman excels.

On Wednesday, the Detroit Tigers traded Ivan Rodriguez to the Yankees. As reciprocation, the Tigers received Kyle Farnsworth. “Honestly, I was shocked by this, but that's baseball,” said Rodriguez. “Now, I'm just looking forward to playing for the Yankees and maybe I will play against Detroit again in the playoffs.”

According to Gary Sheffield, the swap is sensible. “This is a surprise to people if they don't know the situations of the players,” he said. “Both teams get better by this, and that's what a trade is supposed to be all about.”

Tigers General Manager Dave Dombrowski’s response was ridiculous. “We think Brandon Inge can do a fine job at catcher and at the same time we've done some repair to our bullpen,” he said.

During his career, Rodriguez has batted .302 with 293 home runs and 1,214 runs batted in. This season, he has rapped .295 with 5 home runs and 32 runs batted in. “Pudge has always wanted to play in New York and Detroit felt it needed a relief pitcher, so both sides were able to get what they wanted to some degree,” said Agent Scott Boras.

During his career, Farnsworth has amassed a 29-47 record. He has tallied 27 saves. He has totaled a 4.42 earned run average. This season, he has logged a 1-2 ledger.

“First let me say that Pudge has done an outstanding job for us,” said Dombrowski. “I'm sure he was very surprised by this, but for him this is a good situation. He's going to New York City, and they are in contention.”

Dombrowski’s assessment is asinine. The Tigers are contenders. Their deficit is five and one-half contests. Additionally, their bullpen merited attention. However, Dombrowski could have utilized the offseason. Instead, he acquired nothing. He maimed the Tigers. Dombrowski warrants figurative castration.