Michael Strahan: Ridiculous, Rude, & Retired

In New York, Michael Strahan is beloved. The aforesaid is unfortunate. Strahan is an ass. His lone accomplishment? A fraudulent sack record. His lone attribute? A pompous personality.

On Tuesday, Strahan retired. “I’ve played hard, I’ve played well, I’ve always played my best,” said Strahan. “And at some point you have to realize that you’ve done just about all you can do and need to do. And then it’s time to move on. That’s why I’m here before you today: To say that it’s over.”

“I think after 15 years, the man upstairs said: ‘Michael, I let you stick around for 15. I gave you a ring. Now don’t be stupid,’ ” Strahan said. “So I’m trying not to be stupid.”

During his career, Strahan recorded 854 tackles and 141 ½ sacks. He registered six eleven-plus sack seasons. He won the 2001 NFL Defensive Player of the Year Award. “There is nothing like it,” Strahan said . “You come out of that tunnel and you have the cheers, or you have the boos — and in some stadiums worse. There is nothing, absolutely, like that. And if I didn’t have the passion to feel that, then money couldn’t buy the passion.”

In 1985, Howard Cosell coined “jockocracy.” Strahan epitomized this. He reviled non-athletes who were smarter.