The Daily Smak

The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act may subsidize pervert revues, pornographic films, and simulated sex dances. President Obama is a unifier… He bonded red states and red lights.

Concerning trade negotiations, Toronto Blue Jays General Manager J.P. Ricciardi said, “we're waiting to be blown away, and we haven't been.” Roy Halladay’s response? Does he expect carats and prospects?

On Thursday afternoon, the Oakland Raiders signed Darrius Heyward-Bey. On Thursday evening, Heyward-Bey issued this statement: Only five years until freedom.