Detroit Awakens, Axes Millen

On Wednesday, the Detroit Lions fired President Matt Millen. Executive Vice President Tom Lewand and Assistant General Manager Martin Mayhew supplanted him. “These decisions are for the duration of the 2008 season,” said Owner William Clay Ford. “Once the season is over, we will undergo a thorough and comprehensive evaluation of our entire football operation and put together a plan that we believe will transform this team into a winner.”

During Millen’s tenure, Detroit amassed a 31-84 record. His exodus was overdue. Simply stated, Millen is a television stereotype. He is intelligent. Unfortunately, his assumed intelligence exceeds actual intelligence.