The Daily Smak

Hey, didn’t you used to be Scott Linehan?

On Monday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 777.68 points. I am worried. Last night, I attempted a withdrawal. The receipt said “Are you serious?”

Today’s top five or Paris Hilton’s former friends (1) Nicole Ritchie, (2) Britney Spears, (3) Kim Kardashian, (4) Lindsay Lohan, (5) John McCain