Beijing 2008: Olympics Control Center

Boxing: An absurdly scored bout. An Uzbekistani with an awkward style. I love this event.

Basketball (Men’s): The United States defeats Angola 97-76. This is news?

Diving: Shockingly, the Chinese win.

Softball: In five innings, the United States defeats Venezuela 11-0. Clearly, America is unequaled.

Tennis: Rafael Nadal defeats Lleyton Hewitt. Four years ago, Hewitt was elite. Today, he is irrelevant. Serena and Venus Williams also advance.