American Idol Live Blog
David Hernandez (24 – Arizona)
Correct Simon? Good luck. His commencement is dreadful. His emotion is nonexistent. “The Midnight Hour” is soulful. He is sans soul. He is bland and vacant. Wretched opening performance. Simon, are you drunk? He was miserable.
Chikezie (22 – Arizona)
Snoop Dogg phoned. He requested your name. His attire is atrocious. Crushed orange suit? Seriously? His performance is satisfactory. However, he is boring. He is anonymous. I may sleep. Simon and I concur. The suit is hideous.
David Cook (25 – Missouri)
His appearance is creepy. His commencement is apocryphal. I am scared. His emotion is false. His performance is reprehensible. He butchers a grand anthem. He blatantly oversings. America, eliminate him. Paula, originality is overrated. He was akin to a porn star. Simon is correct. The song was incompatible. Forget, forget, forget.
Jason Yeager (28 – Texas)
Elegant commencement. Excellent song selection. “Moon River” is timeless. His backdrop and style are grand. His crooning is akin to elegant conversation. His conclusion is slippery. He should have remained seated. Overall, acceptable performance. This evening’s finest. Simon is drunk. Very cruise ship? Old Dog? Shoot Simon.
Robbie Carrico (26 – Florida)
Another exemplary selection. “One” is grand. Unfortunately, Travis Tritt phoned. He requested his appearance. His performance is outstanding. His passion translates. He channels Three Dog Knight. Paula is correct. He is authentic. Second consecutive stellar performance.
David Archuleta (17 – California)
Bizarre backdrop. Pathetic song selection. His cheesy smile is annoying. He is creepy. My overwhelming thought? Shut up child. His performance is terrible. His age and inexperience are palpable. Simon, best performance? Whatever liquid is residing within his Coke glass, I request a double.
Danny Noriega (18 – California)
Lisp. Swagger? Attitude? Two words… Rod swallower. His commencement is satisfactory. He channels Elvis. He is semi-serious and soulful. He epitomizes “Jail House Rock.” The slower conclusion is appalling. He ruins a great performance. Grotesque? Simon and I have never disagreed more. He was not perfect. However, he was not David Cook.
Luke Menard (29 – Indiana)
Intriguing selection. Subtle backdrop. He channels a lounge performance. His endeavor is satisfactory. He is not overstated. He does not force emotion. He merits advancement. His conclusion is weak. The high note is scratchy. Simon is potentially correct. Unmemorable is dangerous.
Colton Berry (18 – Virginia)
Another interesting selection. “Suspicious Minds” is a favorite. The performance is cheesy. His emotion appears false and simulated. He is sans passion and spark. I am bored. Additionally, the backdrop is hideous. His dancing conclusion is ridiculous. America, consider eliminating him. Simon is correct. He would not sell. He is irrelevant.
Garrett Haley (17 – California)
Ladies and Gentleman, Saturday Night Live’s Pat. Is he male? Is he female? His commencement is pathetic. The timing is wretched. The performance is horrific. I am contemplating violence. Randy is correct. Boring is the correct word.
Jason Castro (20 - Texas)
Ziggy Marley phoned. He requested his dreadlocks. His leopard print ensemble is hideous. He should lose the guitar. His performance is reprehensible. His emotion is cheesy. His vocals are scattered. He completely butchers “Daydream.” America, consider eliminating him. Is Paula dropping acid? Is Simon? Exemplary performance? He was terrible.
Michael Johns (29 – Georgia)
Excellent selection. His vocals are satisfactory. He attempts Jim Morrison. His emotion is acceptable. He does not oversing. He is exhilarating and soulful. Outstanding performance.
Correct Simon? Good luck. His commencement is dreadful. His emotion is nonexistent. “The Midnight Hour” is soulful. He is sans soul. He is bland and vacant. Wretched opening performance. Simon, are you drunk? He was miserable.
Chikezie (22 – Arizona)
Snoop Dogg phoned. He requested your name. His attire is atrocious. Crushed orange suit? Seriously? His performance is satisfactory. However, he is boring. He is anonymous. I may sleep. Simon and I concur. The suit is hideous.
David Cook (25 – Missouri)
His appearance is creepy. His commencement is apocryphal. I am scared. His emotion is false. His performance is reprehensible. He butchers a grand anthem. He blatantly oversings. America, eliminate him. Paula, originality is overrated. He was akin to a porn star. Simon is correct. The song was incompatible. Forget, forget, forget.
Jason Yeager (28 – Texas)
Elegant commencement. Excellent song selection. “Moon River” is timeless. His backdrop and style are grand. His crooning is akin to elegant conversation. His conclusion is slippery. He should have remained seated. Overall, acceptable performance. This evening’s finest. Simon is drunk. Very cruise ship? Old Dog? Shoot Simon.
Robbie Carrico (26 – Florida)
Another exemplary selection. “One” is grand. Unfortunately, Travis Tritt phoned. He requested his appearance. His performance is outstanding. His passion translates. He channels Three Dog Knight. Paula is correct. He is authentic. Second consecutive stellar performance.
David Archuleta (17 – California)
Bizarre backdrop. Pathetic song selection. His cheesy smile is annoying. He is creepy. My overwhelming thought? Shut up child. His performance is terrible. His age and inexperience are palpable. Simon, best performance? Whatever liquid is residing within his Coke glass, I request a double.
Danny Noriega (18 – California)
Lisp. Swagger? Attitude? Two words… Rod swallower. His commencement is satisfactory. He channels Elvis. He is semi-serious and soulful. He epitomizes “Jail House Rock.” The slower conclusion is appalling. He ruins a great performance. Grotesque? Simon and I have never disagreed more. He was not perfect. However, he was not David Cook.
Luke Menard (29 – Indiana)
Intriguing selection. Subtle backdrop. He channels a lounge performance. His endeavor is satisfactory. He is not overstated. He does not force emotion. He merits advancement. His conclusion is weak. The high note is scratchy. Simon is potentially correct. Unmemorable is dangerous.
Colton Berry (18 – Virginia)
Another interesting selection. “Suspicious Minds” is a favorite. The performance is cheesy. His emotion appears false and simulated. He is sans passion and spark. I am bored. Additionally, the backdrop is hideous. His dancing conclusion is ridiculous. America, consider eliminating him. Simon is correct. He would not sell. He is irrelevant.
Garrett Haley (17 – California)
Ladies and Gentleman, Saturday Night Live’s Pat. Is he male? Is he female? His commencement is pathetic. The timing is wretched. The performance is horrific. I am contemplating violence. Randy is correct. Boring is the correct word.
Jason Castro (20 - Texas)
Ziggy Marley phoned. He requested his dreadlocks. His leopard print ensemble is hideous. He should lose the guitar. His performance is reprehensible. His emotion is cheesy. His vocals are scattered. He completely butchers “Daydream.” America, consider eliminating him. Is Paula dropping acid? Is Simon? Exemplary performance? He was terrible.
Michael Johns (29 – Georgia)
Excellent selection. His vocals are satisfactory. He attempts Jim Morrison. His emotion is acceptable. He does not oversing. He is exhilarating and soulful. Outstanding performance.
posted by Daily Observer at 11:49 AM
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