NEW RULE

Imitation has restrictions.

On Saturday, I encountered a Jim Tressel mimic. He wore a sweater vest. He wore a headset. His hair was gray. He was signing autographs. This is ridiculous. Why sign autographs? Is he lonely? Is he delusional? Additionally, Tressel is bland. He has bread’s personality. He does not merit imitation. Steve Spurrier… he merits imitation.