NEW RULE

Brides are not special.

Elana Glatt has filed a lawsuit. Why? Incorrectly colored wedding flowers. Glatt requested dark rust hydrangeas. She received pastel pink hydrangeas. Glatt is a lawyer. Americans adore brides. We cherish them. We accept their orders. They want a perfect wedding. We want their wedding perfect. Never mind, the event is irrelevant. Perfect weddings do not guarantee faithfulness. They do not prevent divorce.

Enough! Brides are women. They are not goddesses. They are not heroes. They are preening and spoiled. They do not merit adoration. They warrant screaming. Glatt warrants disbarment. In America, the divorce rate is fifty percent. Henceforth, brides should shut up.