The Daily Smak

This weekend, Beef Roids Bonds did not dial 755. Those loud screams? They were Bud Selig.

Great news. Laguna Beach‘s Jason Wahler is “through being a dumb ass.” Following this statement, he then drunk dialed Lauren Conrad and yelled.

Henceforth, Aquafina’s packaging will read Public Water Source. Aquafina is tap water. Americans have been wasting two dollars? Imagine the alternative. They could have bought Pepsi Edge.